Hello, this site seemed like a well informed place of supportive people, loads of places for smoking, but first one I found just for dipping, so I am dropping in to get a little more info. Anyways here is my story.
I think my habit of with the stuff is a bit unusual. About four years back I tried dipping, I liked it did it for a month or so because I had a friend who would share with me. I moved away and I did not continue with dipping. Almost a year later, some stressful situations came up (aka I don't handle break ups well) and I remembered the pleasant feeling of dipping and used it to cope with the break up.
I used it pretty religiously for about 6 months or so, at which point the buzz from it had died, so I would only get a can every month or two when it was time for finals or the like. I never had what I would call an addiction for it, I liked the nicotine buzz in stressful situations. But when that went away I had no interest or need for it, so I went 6 months with out it. I didn't mean to quit, I just stopped like I had never been addicted.
Then after that period I felt cravings for it, that was unusual I had always prided my self in that I was never addicted to the stuff, but here were these cravings. I figured eh, Ill buy a can. I was like wow, this is nice, buzz is back awesome. After a month or so of that, like four cans later, buzz was gone. I decided ok, this shit doesent give out a buzz like it used to, its bad for me, and its expensive. I'm done, I am actualy quiting. Here I am about 6 months later, cravings are back, normaly Id just go get a can, and be done with it for another few months, but I did say I quit, and thats why I am here. Tonight the cravings are really bad, and Im looking for someone to share their thoughts on my position.
Hell if the buzz has not returned Id just throw the can out, I have done it before. I just really want that old buzz cus I am really feeling down this week. I've never been hardcore or anything dont think I ever went through a can faster then a week. I never had an issue putting it down before, and never sought support for it until tonight.
I worry I have created my self a nice delusional bubble that I am some special flower who is an exception to the usual rules of this stuff. Now my bubble may need a firm popping, but before you go and do that, please don't just automatically tear me down because this is a quitting form. Consider that perhaps my relationship with nicotine may be different.
So am I a bad person if I go back on my word to test to see if the buzz is back? I really want that can tonight, but because I said I was done, before I went off and just did it, I wanted to hear peoples thoughts, give people a chance to discourage me, or just cation me that while I may have been an exception so far it may not last so I need to be careful. I really am in need of some support one way or the other.
