Day 140 and counting

[sensei]

I do spend some time each day looking back on the old me. As sad/disgusting as it is sometimes to look at how I was back then it helps me to remain quit and above all helps me to realize what a fuckhead I was.

One of the things I did awhile back was to figure out in pounds and dollars what my addication cost me and my family. When you look at it like this it really is sickening. Here is Greg's affair with tobacco broken down.

1.3 ounces per can X 365 days a year = 474.5 ounces of tobacco per year
474.5 ounces per year / 16 ounces per pound = 29.66 pounds per year
29.66 Pounds per year X 25 years of dipping = 741.41 pounds of tobacco :blink:

or

365 Cans per year X $2.75 avg per can ( the shit was cheap when I started )
$1,003.75 Per year X 25 years = $25,093.75 'bang head'


I have seen it said different ways here. I cannot lift a ton all at once but I can lift two pounds 1,000 times, A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. One day at a time. The point I am trying to make is this... We all consumed mass quantities of this shit in our lifetimes. We did not do it all at once. We did it slowly, one day at a time.

Your quit needs to be this same process. Anything worth doing takes time and effort and your quit is no different. Take it slowly newbies, one day at a time. When you were dipping you did not see how quickly you could get to 700 pounds consumed. You never even thought about it. You got up each day and repeated a process. Post roll and quit the same way !!!!!

Some day you will look back and wonder how you ever stacked up that many days quit... and more importantly you will wonder how the hell you were ever the ' old you'.

Carry on.....

Outstanding post Gregory
'clap'

[Greg5280]

I do spend some time each day looking back on the old me. As sad/disgusting as it is sometimes to look at how I was back then it helps me to remain quit and above all helps me to realize what a fuckhead I was.

One of the things I did awhile back was to figure out in pounds and dollars what my addication cost me and my family. When you look at it like this it really is sickening. Here is Greg's affair with tobacco broken down.

1.3 ounces per can X 365 days a year = 474.5 ounces of tobacco per year
474.5 ounces per year / 16 ounces per pound = 29.66 pounds per year
29.66 Pounds per year X 25 years of dipping = 741.41 pounds of tobacco :blink:

or

365 Cans per year X $2.75 avg per can ( the shit was cheap when I started )
$1,003.75 Per year X 25 years = $25,093.75 'bang head'


I have seen it said different ways here. I cannot lift a ton all at once but I can lift two pounds 1,000 times, A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. One day at a time. The point I am trying to make is this... We all consumed mass quantities of this shit in our lifetimes. We did not do it all at once. We did it slowly, one day at a time.

Your quit needs to be this same process. Anything worth doing takes time and effort and your quit is no different. Take it slowly newbies, one day at a time. When you were dipping you did not see how quickly you could get to 700 pounds consumed. You never even thought about it. You got up each day and repeated a process. Post roll and quit the same way !!!!!

Some day you will look back and wonder how you ever stacked up that many days quit... and more importantly you will wonder how the hell you were ever the ' old you'.

Carry on.....

[Greg5280]

Day 217

On the road again. Saw this sign today and stopped to write it down. Pretty much sums up one of the core values of this site and the reason I have been able to stay quit.

Accountability

We have all done or said things that gnaw at our souls.

Some people refuse to accept their shortcomings, opting instead to blame others and deny responsibility. Others however learn that inner peace can come only from owning up to your previous faults and mistakes - to themselves first of all and to those they may have wronged secondarily.

It is a lot easier to breathe easy if you can remove the heavy weights off your chest.


STAY QUIT

[Greg5280]

June 3-5

I will be in Buffalo New York on the dates above. Anyone that lives in the area that would like to meet for a beer and some food let me know.

[Greg5280]

Day 210

210 days NIC free ! Summer is right around the corner, I am spending tons of time outsideÂ… Life is good. My quit is rocking along, my mood has been great, and there have been plenty of newbies around to talk to and guide along.

I woke up early again this morning, which happens often these days. Instead of jumping right up I layed in bed for a bit just thinking of some of the things I have missed or what has changed since I quit. Kind of cracked me up so I thought todayÂ’s update should be about that.

1.   I always used to have a dip in after dinner. Most of the time around 2100 ( 9PM for you civilians ) I would nod off for a little nap. About 30-45 minutes into the nap I would wake up to the feeling of spit and dip running down my throat. Typically I would cough, gag, eyes watering, almost puke, shoot back up to a sitting position to catch my breath and get back to watching TV. Never even thought about spitting out the dip.?! Funny thing is since I quit dipping I do not need the before bed nap. I really miss all that choking and gagging.?!?


2.   All of my jeans and dress pants had the “ring” in the pocket and most of them had the stain on the lower cuff. You know what I meanÂ… I have replaced most of my clothes and it is amazing I have not had to worry about where to wipe my post dip fingers. I also have not had dip grains in all my pockets for quite some time. I miss both of those ?!?!

3.   I had my truck detailed at day 100. The guy doing the detailing asked me about all the dip grains under the seat, actually all over the truck. It is amazing the places that shit actually got to. I had all the spilled spit stains taken out of the carpet and amazingly I have not had to worry about spitters rolling around, dumping, stinking up my truck. I really miss having to stop at the gas station and get some paper towels to clean all the spit up from the floor on the way to work.

4.   I have not done the pat down in quite some time. Well I still do the pat down but I do not have to pat my left ass cheek anymore ensuring my can is there. It is nice not spazzing out in the morning when you wake up to find your can only has a few grains left and you do not have a backup. I really do miss that urgent rush to the store for the replacement can.

Those were the four things that popped into my mind this morning. I look back on the way I used to be and truly wonder how I had any friends at all. I was a disgusting person 210 days ago. I see people now with spit bottles in their hands half full of spit and just shake my head. Why did it take me so long to figure it outÂ… ??

One thing in closing: I can no longer spit for shit. I used to be able to spit with amazing accuracy. I am sure most of you can relate to all the “target” spitting that used to go on. Hitting the hole of an open coke can while driving down the road, hitting the open end of a bottle while walking, the casual long range spit into the trash can you were walking past, the early morning close quarters spit into the toilet ( you know what I am talking about. ) and so on. Well today as I was standing in the rest room getting rid of the 3rd bottle of water from the morning I tried to spit in the big ass urinal and missed. I missed the whole fucking thing and almost spit on my shoe. I laughed my ass off for about 5 minutes…. I guess it is a small price to pay for being quit.


STAY QUIT !!!

[Greg5280]

Day 200

    The SECOND floor !! 200 days with no tobacco or Nicotine !  Hard for me to believe! There have been days that seemed to fly by, and there are days that have dragged ass every miserable fucking second; but through all of it I have remained quit ! I posted my promise daily and kept my word.  This is by far the longest time I have not dipped since I was 15 and it is really amazing. 

      This place, a bunch of screen names and people I will probably never see, have helped me stay quit and I am at a loss for words to try and explain it.  I am really enjoying all of the phone calls, texts, PM’s and well wishes from everyone on the boards today.  This site and all of you crazy ass quitters ROCK, I feel excellent !  Best decision I have ever made !!

I thought today I would spend some time looking back on what I have learned to this point in my quit.

1.   Quitting is hard work – You have to wake up every day and fight to stay quit.  It does get easier as time passes, but it is still something I have to focus on each day.  Maybe that goes away in time but for now I will wake up each morning, post roll, and keep my promise.  Has worked for me for 200 days now and I see no reason to change it.

2.   There is no acceptable reason to start dipping again - In the beginning of my quit I tried to think of good reasons to start dipping again. As I got more time in my quit and spent more time on the site I realized what I was trying to do.  I am an addict, always will be, and I was trying to convince myself I needed my drug back.  No matter what is going on Nicotine is not going to make it better!


3.   Helping others helps me – I have learned that what really helped me so far has been reaching out and helping others.  Keeping my mind busy was huge for me.  The more time your mind is idle the more time you have to worry about getting your fix or some strange illness you have come down with.  I fought some bad ass anxiety early on and being active helped me with that.  Besides its pretty cool to know I am helping others gain freedom from a terrible addiction.

4.   Quitting forces you to look at who you were – This one for me has been hard to deal with.  Unfortunately I was not the nicest person to my friends and family over the past years.  As I got deeper into my addiction I withdrew from my family, friends, co-worker.  I just wanted to dip.  I would make up excuses not to go places with my wife and daughter so I could sit at home alone and dip.  Very ashamed of that.  But looking at it with open eyes ensures I will NOT be making the same mistakes again.


5.   Quitting makes you a better person -  I feel like I am a better person now.  I go out of my way to be nice to people when I travel.  I actually speak to them and they speak back.  I laugh and joke with people at the store and go out of my way to try to improve their day.  I realized I was taking all the good things in my life for granted and not truly appreciating them.  Again not something I will be doing again.  I spend time with my family, walk with my daughter each night, call my mother on the way home, and try to help as many newbies as I can. 


My life is certainly better today that it was 200 days ago.  I just wish I had figured out how to quit a long time ago. 

Newbies:  I still have a long way to go, but it certainly is better today than it was on day 20.  Wake up each day, post your promise and keep your word.  It really IS that simple. 

Thanks to everyone on this site vets, newbies, and even those who have not decided to quit yet!!  You have helped me change my life and for that I am eternally grateful !!

Dude, you're my Yoda.

I am glad my posts helped you ! It has been important to me to read the stories of the guys in front of me so I knew what was coming.

I see you are pretty active, that helps occupy the mind. Keep doing whatever you have to do to keep clean for the day.

[RagingJew]

Day 200

The SECOND floor !! 200 days with no tobacco or Nicotine ! Hard for me to believe! There have been days that seemed to fly by, and there are days that have dragged ass every miserable fucking second; but through all of it I have remained quit ! I posted my promise daily and kept my word. This is by far the longest time I have not dipped since I was 15 and it is really amazing.

This place, a bunch of screen names and people I will probably never see, have helped me stay quit and I am at a loss for words to try and explain it. I am really enjoying all of the phone calls, texts, PMÂ’s and well wishes from everyone on the boards today. This site and all of you crazy ass quitters ROCK, I feel excellent ! Best decision I have ever made !!

I thought today I would spend some time looking back on what I have learned to this point in my quit.

1.   Quitting is hard work – You have to wake up every day and fight to stay quit. It does get easier as time passes, but it is still something I have to focus on each day. Maybe that goes away in time but for now I will wake up each morning, post roll, and keep my promise. Has worked for me for 200 days now and I see no reason to change it.

2.   There is no acceptable reason to start dipping again - In the beginning of my quit I tried to think of good reasons to start dipping again. As I got more time in my quit and spent more time on the site I realized what I was trying to do. I am an addict, always will be, and I was trying to convince myself I needed my drug back. No matter what is going on Nicotine is not going to make it better!


3.   Helping others helps me – I have learned that what really helped me so far has been reaching out and helping others. Keeping my mind busy was huge for me. The more time your mind is idle the more time you have to worry about getting your fix or some strange illness you have come down with. I fought some bad ass anxiety early on and being active helped me with that. Besides its pretty cool to know I am helping others gain freedom from a terrible addiction.

4.   Quitting forces you to look at who you were – This one for me has been hard to deal with. Unfortunately I was not the nicest person to my friends and family over the past years. As I got deeper into my addiction I withdrew from my family, friends, co-worker. I just wanted to dip. I would make up excuses not to go places with my wife and daughter so I could sit at home alone and dip. Very ashamed of that. But looking at it with open eyes ensures I will NOT be making the same mistakes again.


5.   Quitting makes you a better person - I feel like I am a better person now. I go out of my way to be nice to people when I travel. I actually speak to them and they speak back. I laugh and joke with people at the store and go out of my way to try to improve their day. I realized I was taking all the good things in my life for granted and not truly appreciating them. Again not something I will be doing again. I spend time with my family, walk with my daughter each night, call my mother on the way home, and try to help as many newbies as I can.


My life is certainly better today that it was 200 days ago. I just wish I had figured out how to quit a long time ago.

Newbies: I still have a long way to go, but it certainly is better today than it was on day 20. Wake up each day, post your promise and keep your word. It really IS that simple.

Thanks to everyone on this site vets, newbies, and even those who have not decided to quit yet!! You have helped me change my life and for that I am eternally grateful !!

Dude, you're my Yoda.

[Greg5280]

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

I swear to God, the first time I read this, I thought the word "pains" was "penis." Equally wise proverb either way, I suppose. :lol:

Greg, really good stuff the past few days...BIG congrats on the 2nd floor!!!

Thanks for stoppin by. The last few days have been very good ones. The way I have felt recently is worth all the fighting I had to do to get here !!

I have no illusions that I am all better now, I just know what to do when the funks, craves hit. I will be around watchin you get to 200 also !!

[mitch]

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

I swear to God, the first time I read this, I thought the word "pains" was "penis." Equally wise proverb either way, I suppose. :lol:

Greg, really good stuff the past few days...BIG congrats on the 2nd floor!!!

[Greg5280]

Congratulations on the two hundo. Nice job

Thanks !! Look forward to seeing you hit 200 as well !!

[sensei]

Congratulations on the two hundo. Nice job

[Greg5280]

Day 200

The SECOND floor !! 200 days with no tobacco or Nicotine ! Hard for me to believe! There have been days that seemed to fly by, and there are days that have dragged ass every miserable fucking second; but through all of it I have remained quit ! I posted my promise daily and kept my word. This is by far the longest time I have not dipped since I was 15 and it is really amazing.

This place, a bunch of screen names and people I will probably never see, have helped me stay quit and I am at a loss for words to try and explain it. I am really enjoying all of the phone calls, texts, PMÂ’s and well wishes from everyone on the boards today. This site and all of you crazy ass quitters ROCK, I feel excellent ! Best decision I have ever made !!

I thought today I would spend some time looking back on what I have learned to this point in my quit.

1.   Quitting is hard work – You have to wake up every day and fight to stay quit. It does get easier as time passes, but it is still something I have to focus on each day. Maybe that goes away in time but for now I will wake up each morning, post roll, and keep my promise. Has worked for me for 200 days now and I see no reason to change it.

2.   There is no acceptable reason to start dipping again - In the beginning of my quit I tried to think of good reasons to start dipping again. As I got more time in my quit and spent more time on the site I realized what I was trying to do. I am an addict, always will be, and I was trying to convince myself I needed my drug back. No matter what is going on Nicotine is not going to make it better!


3.   Helping others helps me – I have learned that what really helped me so far has been reaching out and helping others. Keeping my mind busy was huge for me. The more time your mind is idle the more time you have to worry about getting your fix or some strange illness you have come down with. I fought some bad ass anxiety early on and being active helped me with that. Besides its pretty cool to know I am helping others gain freedom from a terrible addiction.

4.   Quitting forces you to look at who you were – This one for me has been hard to deal with. Unfortunately I was not the nicest person to my friends and family over the past years. As I got deeper into my addiction I withdrew from my family, friends, co-worker. I just wanted to dip. I would make up excuses not to go places with my wife and daughter so I could sit at home alone and dip. Very ashamed of that. But looking at it with open eyes ensures I will NOT be making the same mistakes again.


5.   Quitting makes you a better person - I feel like I am a better person now. I go out of my way to be nice to people when I travel. I actually speak to them and they speak back. I laugh and joke with people at the store and go out of my way to try to improve their day. I realized I was taking all the good things in my life for granted and not truly appreciating them. Again not something I will be doing again. I spend time with my family, walk with my daughter each night, call my mother on the way home, and try to help as many newbies as I can.


My life is certainly better today that it was 200 days ago. I just wish I had figured out how to quit a long time ago.

Newbies: I still have a long way to go, but it certainly is better today than it was on day 20. Wake up each day, post your promise and keep your word. It really IS that simple.

Thanks to everyone on this site vets, newbies, and even those who have not decided to quit yet!! You have helped me change my life and for that I am eternally grateful !!

[kneedragger]

Would I dip again ?

I have seen this question posted in different areas off and on and it gets me to thinking. Would I ever dip again knowing what I know now?

I have played different scenarios in my head during my quit, and thought would any of these would be permissible to allow me to dip again? It is funny to me that I actually spent all this time thinking about this stuff, maybe I need another hobby. Below are some of the things that have passed through my mind on the subject.

1.   The terminal illness – This is the one that has to be the easiest to answer right? If I get a terminal illness and was going to die anyway well why not add dipping back to the equation, I mean I am dying anyway so why not?

2.   Some terrible tragedy – pick one. Life gives you many to choose from. For me the one that kept playing in my head was something to do with losing my family thus rendering my desire to remain quit or alive a null point. So pack one?

3.   The end of the world - If I knew the end of the world was at hand would I run to the store and get a can. This one for me was some nuclear attack from N. Korea or something like that. I knew I had time before the end so why not run to the store and grab a can. Who would it hurt? It would all be over in an hour anyway.

There are others but I think you get the point, so letÂ’s get to the answer. Would I dip again knowing what I know now for any of the reasons listed above, or for any other reason?

Well my answer to that question today is different than it was at the beginning of my quit, three months ago, even a month ago. I used to think if any of the above happened I would most certainly run to the store and buy a can. What possible difference could it make? I have fought long and hard and if the end was coming why not face it with a fatty? Today I will tell you there is no fucking way I would ever put a dip back in my face. Even if I knew I would die in an hour and could have one I would not do it.

I have learned far too much about tobacco/nicotine and the fuckers that produce/ sell it. How they researched their product and chemically enhanced it to make me/you more dependent on it. How they target our children and hope to hook them too. I have developed a seething hatred for everything their miserable fucking company/product represents.

They have poisoned my family members, me, you, and are looking for more lifelong addicts so they can add to their bottom line. They do not give a shit what their product does to your body or your family. They sell poison on a daily basis to millions and are thinking of creative ways to expand their client base.

Would I ever dip againÂ… FUCK NO !! I will set my money on fire before I give one more cent to those death dealers.

Newbies: Get over the illusion that you miss this shit, you do not. You did not like it, it was not fun, it did not help anything. You were addicted to a chemically enhanced super drug. Quit romanticizing it and look at it with open eyes. Develop a hate for it, the people that make and sell it, and it will make it much easier for you to remain quit.

awesome...just fuckin' awesome...

[cdeloac]

Would I dip again ?

I have seen this question posted in different areas off and on and it gets me to thinking. Would I ever dip again knowing what I know now?

I have played different scenarios in my head during my quit, and thought would any of these would be permissible to allow me to dip again? It is funny to me that I actually spent all this time thinking about this stuff, maybe I need another hobby. Below are some of the things that have passed through my mind on the subject.

1.   The terminal illness – This is the one that has to be the easiest to answer right? If I get a terminal illness and was going to die anyway well why not add dipping back to the equation, I mean I am dying anyway so why not?

2.   Some terrible tragedy – pick one. Life gives you many to choose from. For me the one that kept playing in my head was something to do with losing my family thus rendering my desire to remain quit or alive a null point. So pack one?

3.   The end of the world - If I knew the end of the world was at hand would I run to the store and get a can. This one for me was some nuclear attack from N. Korea or something like that. I knew I had time before the end so why not run to the store and grab a can. Who would it hurt? It would all be over in an hour anyway.

There are others but I think you get the point, so letÂ’s get to the answer. Would I dip again knowing what I know now for any of the reasons listed above, or for any other reason?

Well my answer to that question today is different than it was at the beginning of my quit, three months ago, even a month ago. I used to think if any of the above happened I would most certainly run to the store and buy a can. What possible difference could it make? I have fought long and hard and if the end was coming why not face it with a fatty? Today I will tell you there is no fucking way I would ever put a dip back in my face. Even if I knew I would die in an hour and could have one I would not do it.

I have learned far too much about tobacco/nicotine and the fuckers that produce/ sell it. How they researched their product and chemically enhanced it to make me/you more dependent on it. How they target our children and hope to hook them too. I have developed a seething hatred for everything their miserable fucking company/product represents.

They have poisoned my family members, me, you, and are looking for more lifelong addicts so they can add to their bottom line. They do not give a shit what their product does to your body or your family. They sell poison on a daily basis to millions and are thinking of creative ways to expand their client base.

Would I ever dip againÂ… FUCK NO !! I will set my money on fire before I give one more cent to those death dealers.

Newbies: Get over the illusion that you miss this shit, you do not. You did not like it, it was not fun, it did not help anything. You were addicted to a chemically enhanced super drug. Quit romanticizing it and look at it with open eyes. Develop a hate for it, the people that make and sell it, and it will make it much easier for you to remain quit.

Well said...well said.

[Greg5280]

Would I dip again ?

I have seen this question posted in different areas off and on and it gets me to thinking. Would I ever dip again knowing what I know now?

I have played different scenarios in my head during my quit, and thought would any of these would be permissible to allow me to dip again? It is funny to me that I actually spent all this time thinking about this stuff, maybe I need another hobby. Below are some of the things that have passed through my mind on the subject.

1.   The terminal illness – This is the one that has to be the easiest to answer right? If I get a terminal illness and was going to die anyway well why not add dipping back to the equation, I mean I am dying anyway so why not?

2.   Some terrible tragedy – pick one. Life gives you many to choose from. For me the one that kept playing in my head was something to do with losing my family thus rendering my desire to remain quit or alive a null point. So pack one?

3.   The end of the world - If I knew the end of the world was at hand would I run to the store and get a can. This one for me was some nuclear attack from N. Korea or something like that. I knew I had time before the end so why not run to the store and grab a can. Who would it hurt? It would all be over in an hour anyway.

There are others but I think you get the point, so letÂ’s get to the answer. Would I dip again knowing what I know now for any of the reasons listed above, or for any other reason?

Well my answer to that question today is different than it was at the beginning of my quit, three months ago, even a month ago. I used to think if any of the above happened I would most certainly run to the store and buy a can. What possible difference could it make? I have fought long and hard and if the end was coming why not face it with a fatty? Today I will tell you there is no fucking way I would ever put a dip back in my face. Even if I knew I would die in an hour and could have one I would not do it.

I have learned far too much about tobacco/nicotine and the fuckers that produce/ sell it. How they researched their product and chemically enhanced it to make me/you more dependent on it. How they target our children and hope to hook them too. I have developed a seething hatred for everything their miserable fucking company/product represents.

They have poisoned my family members, me, you, and are looking for more lifelong addicts so they can add to their bottom line. They do not give a shit what their product does to your body or your family. They sell poison on a daily basis to millions and are thinking of creative ways to expand their client base.

Would I ever dip againÂ… FUCK NO !! I will set my money on fire before I give one more cent to those death dealers.

Newbies: Get over the illusion that you miss this shit, you do not. You did not like it, it was not fun, it did not help anything. You were addicted to a chemically enhanced super drug. Quit romanticizing it and look at it with open eyes. Develop a hate for it, the people that make and sell it, and it will make it much easier for you to remain quit.