Day 140 and counting

[Greg5280]

Day 162

Man what a day. Beautiful morning, mid 60's light breeze. I was in a great mood again, something that has been happening more and more. Going to be great day!! Got up early and went in to work so I could get done before my 1030 Tee time. Sitting at my desk working away, snuck onto the site as I typically do on the weekend. Posted my promise and read some of the posts from the newbies. Man I do remember the first weeks and how scared I was, how bad I felt, and how pissed I was and still am that I ever started this shit in the first place.

Golfed with my usual group of guys, they are pretty cool. One of them still dips but knows I have quit so he tries to hide when he is packing his lip. I told him it was cool he did not need to hide from me, I am quit... I dont need that shit. If only I could get him to see what I see, feel what I feel, he would stop that shit in a second. I tell him he is a puss and that real men quit, I tell him about the site and hope he shows up one day.

Got back home and wathced the Masters for awile, then drove to where my wife and daughter were. I actually chose to go spend the evening with them at a dance competition. Before I quit the only way I would have been at a dance cometition was if you dragged me kicking and sreaming. I think they were both more than surprised to see me sitting there. My daughter rocked the place and got two big ass trophies. They both had huge smiles on their faces all night long.

Now I am sitting in the hotel room with both of them asleep and thinking to myself what a glorious day this has been. I am so glad I am quit, it has more benefits than I could have imagined. For the newbies, keep fighting it is worth it !! I am still pissed at myself for ever starting this shit in the first place, even more pissed that it took me this long to stop. I am proud of myself for the 162 days I have put together. I will wake up tomorrow and do the same thing !!

I am a bonefied quit beast !!

[Greg5280]

Hey Greg, keep on trucking man. You're a bonafide quit beast.

"A bonafied quitting beast"

I like that !! If some of my ramblings help another quitter or make someone start quitting then this page is well worth it.

B)

[RickDicolus]

Hey Greg, keep on trucking man. You're a bonafide quit beast.

[Greg5280]

Day 158

  I am feeling like the old me more each day.  My sense of humor is returning, my sleep has gotten better, I am starting to enjoy work again.  Anyone reading my previous posts knows I fought the mental part of this addiction much worse than I did the physical part.  My anxiety was nuts for the first 130 or so days.  Don’t get me wrong I did have some good days mixed in there but never felt quite “right.”  I would go to bed worrying if I had quit too late, already damaged me beyond repair.  It was also the first thoughts I would wake with.  I have told many people I have been to the doctor more in the past 120 days than I was in the past 15 years. 

    As I sit and think about it now I am not really sure what “right” is.  Everything I have ever done was with a NIC soaked mind, so I guess I am learning what “right” is as I go along.  I just know that I have had some very good days recently.  I am not going to bed worrying the whole time; I am not waking up like that either.  I work out 3-4 times a week, I walk every night with my daughter, I spend time talking to my wife in the evening.  I make a point to call my mother every night. 

    I used to read posts from guys with less days that were saying how good they felt, how good they were doing, and I thought maybe I was just not going to hit the good days.  For the newbies reading this, I cannot tell you when you will start to feel right again.  For me it has been 150+ days.  You may get there sooner,  or possibly later as each of us are very different.  The point of this post is you will get there at whatever time is right for you.  I love the way I feel now and the person I am becoming.  I just wish I had figured this out a long time ago.  Do not doubt at some point you will feel better.  I will happen !! 

STAY STRONG !!  STAY QUIT !!

You give me hope as I still do not feel 100% myself yet. I do feel the confidence coming back though.

Outstanding post Greg, very powerful insight!

Glad it is helping. That is exactly why I started this page. I kept wondering if it was going to get better and it has. Not letting my guard down, but it has been a good run of days.

[Skoal Monster]

Day 158

  I am feeling like the old me more each day.  My sense of humor is returning, my sleep has gotten better, I am starting to enjoy work again.  Anyone reading my previous posts knows I fought the mental part of this addiction much worse than I did the physical part.  My anxiety was nuts for the first 130 or so days.  Don’t get me wrong I did have some good days mixed in there but never felt quite “right.”  I would go to bed worrying if I had quit too late, already damaged me beyond repair.  It was also the first thoughts I would wake with.  I have told many people I have been to the doctor more in the past 120 days than I was in the past 15 years. 

    As I sit and think about it now I am not really sure what “right” is.  Everything I have ever done was with a NIC soaked mind, so I guess I am learning what “right” is as I go along.  I just know that I have had some very good days recently.  I am not going to bed worrying the whole time; I am not waking up like that either.  I work out 3-4 times a week, I walk every night with my daughter, I spend time talking to my wife in the evening.  I make a point to call my mother every night. 

    I used to read posts from guys with less days that were saying how good they felt, how good they were doing, and I thought maybe I was just not going to hit the good days.  For the newbies reading this, I cannot tell you when you will start to feel right again.  For me it has been 150+ days.  You may get there sooner,  or possibly later as each of us are very different.  The point of this post is you will get there at whatever time is right for you.  I love the way I feel now and the person I am becoming.  I just wish I had figured this out a long time ago.  Do not doubt at some point you will feel better.  I will happen !! 

STAY STRONG !!  STAY QUIT !!

You give me hope as I still do not feel 100% myself yet. I do feel the confidence coming back though.

Outstanding post Greg, very powerful insight!

cool finding out how your mind and body function without a steady stream of poison coursing thru it. Thats awesome

sm

[Steelers]

Day 158

I am feeling like the old me more each day. My sense of humor is returning, my sleep has gotten better, I am starting to enjoy work again. Anyone reading my previous posts knows I fought the mental part of this addiction much worse than I did the physical part. My anxiety was nuts for the first 130 or so days. Don’t get me wrong I did have some good days mixed in there but never felt quite “right.” I would go to bed worrying if I had quit too late, already damaged me beyond repair. It was also the first thoughts I would wake with. I have told many people I have been to the doctor more in the past 120 days than I was in the past 15 years.

As I sit and think about it now I am not really sure what “right” is. Everything I have ever done was with a NIC soaked mind, so I guess I am learning what “right” is as I go along. I just know that I have had some very good days recently. I am not going to bed worrying the whole time; I am not waking up like that either. I work out 3-4 times a week, I walk every night with my daughter, I spend time talking to my wife in the evening. I make a point to call my mother every night.

I used to read posts from guys with less days that were saying how good they felt, how good they were doing, and I thought maybe I was just not going to hit the good days. For the newbies reading this, I cannot tell you when you will start to feel right again. For me it has been 150+ days. You may get there sooner, or possibly later as each of us are very different. The point of this post is you will get there at whatever time is right for you. I love the way I feel now and the person I am becoming. I just wish I had figured this out a long time ago. Do not doubt at some point you will feel better. I will happen !!

STAY STRONG !! STAY QUIT !!

You give me hope as I still do not feel 100% myself yet. I do feel the confidence coming back though.

Outstanding post Greg, very powerful insight!

[Greg5280]

Day 158

I am feeling like the old me more each day. My sense of humor is returning, my sleep has gotten better, I am starting to enjoy work again. Anyone reading my previous posts knows I fought the mental part of this addiction much worse than I did the physical part. My anxiety was nuts for the first 130 or so days. Don’t get me wrong I did have some good days mixed in there but never felt quite “right.” I would go to bed worrying if I had quit too late, already damaged me beyond repair. It was also the first thoughts I would wake with. I have told many people I have been to the doctor more in the past 120 days than I was in the past 15 years.

As I sit and think about it now I am not really sure what “right” is. Everything I have ever done was with a NIC soaked mind, so I guess I am learning what “right” is as I go along. I just know that I have had some very good days recently. I am not going to bed worrying the whole time; I am not waking up like that either. I work out 3-4 times a week, I walk every night with my daughter, I spend time talking to my wife in the evening. I make a point to call my mother every night.

I used to read posts from guys with less days that were saying how good they felt, how good they were doing, and I thought maybe I was just not going to hit the good days. For the newbies reading this, I cannot tell you when you will start to feel right again. For me it has been 150+ days. You may get there sooner, or possibly later as each of us are very different. The point of this post is you will get there at whatever time is right for you. I love the way I feel now and the person I am becoming. I just wish I had figured this out a long time ago. Do not doubt at some point you will feel better. I will happen !!

STAY STRONG !! STAY QUIT !!

[Kdip]

Day 153

   Something new happened to me.  Today I wake up and was in a great mood, probably the best mood I have been in since I quit.  I walked into work laughing, smiling, talking to everyone.  Pretty good shit, I felt like the old me minus the dip.  My confidence level was back to where it used to be, my anxiety was gone, I felt good again.   Well that got to last all of about 5 minutes.  My boss calls me over to his office and proceeds to rip my ass, I have always been a guy that likes to argue so hey... here we go. 

    We sat in his office and went at it for about 15 minutes at which time I had grown tired of the whole thing.  I stood up and walked back to my desk.  Now prior to today this would have been a huge trigger for me, a time to put in a dip of fake and really churn for an hour or so.  For some reason today was different.  As I sat at my desk I refused to let that shit bother my mood, I shook the whole thing off never wanting a dip of the real shit or the fake shit.   I made it through the rest of the day in a good mood, also feeling pretty fucking good about the fact that I really did not need any kind of dip to shake that shit off and that is the first time in my adult like I can say that !! 

    Quitting rocks !  I feel better than I have in years.  I do not need that shit to control my mood or anything else.... and it feels GREAT !!!

    Newbies keep fighting your fight.  You see it posted all over the place that it does get better, I believed it all along because those before me said it was true.  Today I got a taste of what "better" feels like.

'clap'

Pretty soon this will be the norm. Enjoy, you earned it.

As you all kept telling me it is getting better as I go. Some days were tough and it seemed like it would suck forever but it certainly is getting better !!

Thanks for all the support !!

Keep up the great work Greg and keep paying it forward!!! You're really helping the newbies!!!

[Greg5280]

Day 153

  Something new happened to me.  Today I wake up and was in a great mood, probably the best mood I have been in since I quit.  I walked into work laughing, smiling, talking to everyone.  Pretty good shit, I felt like the old me minus the dip.  My confidence level was back to where it used to be, my anxiety was gone, I felt good again.  Well that got to last all of about 5 minutes.  My boss calls me over to his office and proceeds to rip my ass, I have always been a guy that likes to argue so hey... here we go. 

    We sat in his office and went at it for about 15 minutes at which time I had grown tired of the whole thing.  I stood up and walked back to my desk.  Now prior to today this would have been a huge trigger for me, a time to put in a dip of fake and really churn for an hour or so.  For some reason today was different.  As I sat at my desk I refused to let that shit bother my mood, I shook the whole thing off never wanting a dip of the real shit or the fake shit.  I made it through the rest of the day in a good mood, also feeling pretty fucking good about the fact that I really did not need any kind of dip to shake that shit off and that is the first time in my adult like I can say that !! 

    Quitting rocks !  I feel better than I have in years.  I do not need that shit to control my mood or anything else.... and it feels GREAT !!!

    Newbies keep fighting your fight.  You see it posted all over the place that it does get better, I believed it all along because those before me said it was true.  Today I got a taste of what "better" feels like.

'clap'

Pretty soon this will be the norm. Enjoy, you earned it.

As you all kept telling me it is getting better as I go. Some days were tough and it seemed like it would suck forever but it certainly is getting better !!

Thanks for all the support !!

[Greg5280]

Your relationship with your boss seems terribly unhealthy, Greg. Next time you march in there, just start blowing him...the outcome will be better.

But yeah: You kick ass. And you're kicking ass because you are quit. Your worst craves will never trump the cumulative pride that comes with smashing tobacco every day, right? Yes. You know it. Word.

I think I will pass on the blow job part. I kinda like the arguing part anyway.

And you are right. I have yet to have a crave that felt bad enough for me to toss away how good it feels to be quit !!

Thanks for stoppin by.

[Ready]

Day 153

Something new happened to me. Today I wake up and was in a great mood, probably the best mood I have been in since I quit. I walked into work laughing, smiling, talking to everyone. Pretty good shit, I felt like the old me minus the dip. My confidence level was back to where it used to be, my anxiety was gone, I felt good again. Well that got to last all of about 5 minutes. My boss calls me over to his office and proceeds to rip my ass, I have always been a guy that likes to argue so hey... here we go.

We sat in his office and went at it for about 15 minutes at which time I had grown tired of the whole thing. I stood up and walked back to my desk. Now prior to today this would have been a huge trigger for me, a time to put in a dip of fake and really churn for an hour or so. For some reason today was different. As I sat at my desk I refused to let that shit bother my mood, I shook the whole thing off never wanting a dip of the real shit or the fake shit. I made it through the rest of the day in a good mood, also feeling pretty fucking good about the fact that I really did not need any kind of dip to shake that shit off and that is the first time in my adult like I can say that !!

Quitting rocks ! I feel better than I have in years. I do not need that shit to control my mood or anything else.... and it feels GREAT !!!

Newbies keep fighting your fight. You see it posted all over the place that it does get better, I believed it all along because those before me said it was true. Today I got a taste of what "better" feels like.

'clap'

Pretty soon this will be the norm. Enjoy, you earned it.

[DeanTheCoot]

Your relationship with your boss seems terribly unhealthy, Greg. Next time you march in there, just start blowing him...the outcome will be better.

But yeah: You kick ass. And you're kicking ass because you are quit. Your worst craves will never trump the cumulative pride that comes with smashing tobacco every day, right? Yes. You know it. Word.

[Greg5280]

Day 153

Something new happened to me. Today I wake up and was in a great mood, probably the best mood I have been in since I quit. I walked into work laughing, smiling, talking to everyone. Pretty good shit, I felt like the old me minus the dip. My confidence level was back to where it used to be, my anxiety was gone, I felt good again. Well that got to last all of about 5 minutes. My boss calls me over to his office and proceeds to rip my ass, I have always been a guy that likes to argue so hey... here we go.

We sat in his office and went at it for about 15 minutes at which time I had grown tired of the whole thing. I stood up and walked back to my desk. Now prior to today this would have been a huge trigger for me, a time to put in a dip of fake and really churn for an hour or so. For some reason today was different. As I sat at my desk I refused to let that shit bother my mood, I shook the whole thing off never wanting a dip of the real shit or the fake shit. I made it through the rest of the day in a good mood, also feeling pretty fucking good about the fact that I really did not need any kind of dip to shake that shit off and that is the first time in my adult like I can say that !!

Quitting rocks ! I feel better than I have in years. I do not need that shit to control my mood or anything else.... and it feels GREAT !!!

Newbies keep fighting your fight. You see it posted all over the place that it does get better, I believed it all along because those before me said it was true. Today I got a taste of what "better" feels like.

[Greg5280]

Day 152

    Today was another decent day, winding down my funk I have been in.  Started out a little rough but got better in a hurry.  I  got to work and was just finishing posting my roll for the morning when my phone went off.  It was one of my brothers from Feb.  He was having a bad morning, craving hard and pissy.  I texted with him back and forth for the next 30-45 minutes, each of us bitching about our quit, the new triggers, mood swings etc.  We both decided it was just another funk and we had the tools to get through.  If you are a newer quitter I want you to take notice what day I am posting about.  There are funks and bmps in the road along the way.  Keep fighting them as you have been already.  You have the tools make sure you use them. 

    So I sit here this evening feeling like a bad ass about my quit and the fact I helped a brother remain quit today. My struggle seemed to fade as I helped my brother stay quit.  I gave my number out early and often when I got on this site, glad I did.  You never know when one of your actions will help someone.  I gave my number to a complete stranger 100 or so days ago and today him having that number kept him quit.  Get involved in your group, give your number out and be accountable.  Help others.. it feels pretty fucking great !!

      Day 152 coming to an end.  Started out a little rough.. but feels pretty damn good right now.

Well, If you've been in a funk, you wouldn't know it from the help you're dealing out for us newbies. We appreciate it. I know all of y'all who have come before us and paved the way know how much your posts help us. It may go without saying, but I'll say it anyway. It helps tremendously.

And I think you are right. I've exchanged numbers with a few guys, but I'm not sure everyone has, I think it makes a huge difference. I've texted a guy when he was off the map for a minute. All was well, and I don't think he would have caved anyway, but hearing from a bro checking on me would matter. It would remind me I'm not in this alone. I know when we've tried to track people who haven't been posting roll, it is the ones who no one reports texting or calling that stay missing.

Teamgreen,
Glad this page is helping you. I read the pages of the guys that are ahead of me and it does help. For me knowing what was coming has been a tremendous resource for me. Keep checking in... and I will keep posting.

Stay Quit.

[teamgreen]

Day 152

Today was another decent day, winding down my funk I have been in. Started out a little rough but got better in a hurry. I got to work and was just finishing posting my roll for the morning when my phone went off. It was one of my brothers from Feb. He was having a bad morning, craving hard and pissy. I texted with him back and forth for the next 30-45 minutes, each of us bitching about our quit, the new triggers, mood swings etc. We both decided it was just another funk and we had the tools to get through. If you are a newer quitter I want you to take notice what day I am posting about. There are funks and bmps in the road along the way. Keep fighting them as you have been already. You have the tools make sure you use them.

So I sit here this evening feeling like a bad ass about my quit and the fact I helped a brother remain quit today. My struggle seemed to fade as I helped my brother stay quit. I gave my number out early and often when I got on this site, glad I did. You never know when one of your actions will help someone. I gave my number to a complete stranger 100 or so days ago and today him having that number kept him quit. Get involved in your group, give your number out and be accountable. Help others.. it feels pretty fucking great !!

Day 152 coming to an end. Started out a little rough.. but feels pretty damn good right now.

Well, If you've been in a funk, you wouldn't know it from the help you're dealing out for us newbies. We appreciate it. I know all of y'all who have come before us and paved the way know how much your posts help us. It may go without saying, but I'll say it anyway. It helps tremendously.

And I think you are right. I've exchanged numbers with a few guys, but I'm not sure everyone has, I think it makes a huge difference. I've texted a guy when he was off the map for a minute. All was well, and I don't think he would have caved anyway, but hearing from a bro checking on me would matter. It would remind me I'm not in this alone. I know when we've tried to track people who haven't been posting roll, it is the ones who no one reports texting or calling that stay missing.