I just wanna dip again

[rickddd]

I'm glad you posted here, Lan. Please promise me that you wont start again today. Just for today, don't do it, OK? Deal?

What if you go back to the can, and get cancer next week? next year? Don't you think THAT would be a disservice to your family? Would they rather have the "new you" or the "dead you"? Imagine your family at your funeral at age 35 or 40 - are they happy or sad that you restarted dipping?

I promise you that it continues to get better and better each day you fight it off. And the old you will slowly return, this isn't a permanent personality change. Your body is just re-adjusting to life without drugs flowing thru it. It takes a while.

I am starting to believe a lifetime of misery fighting urges to pacify my addictive mind are not worth it.

This is the ADDICTION talking, bro! It always says the same thing to me, and until this time, I've always fallen for that one. "Id rather die younger and happy, than be miserable the rest of my life" ITS A LIE! You DONT want to die young, and you are NOT happier when dipping - that is just the addiction trying to get you to feed it more drugs. Dont fall for it!

I'm quitting with you today - stay strong!! Shoot me a PM if I can be more help or if you need anything from me at all.

[Lan]

Hi All,

I started chewing tobacco when I was 16. Actually, I was a smoker and chewer until I decided one day I would kick the smoking habit for chew because I thought it would be easier to see cancer as a chewer. I started regularly chewing when I was 20 and kicked smoking to the curb then. Now I am 31, married with 3 kids and I quit dippin on Jan 2nd 2013. I was a can a day dipper for 11 years or so.

Reasons I quit:

I was tired of feeling concern over the damage I was doing to my body. Every time I put a dip in I would think "I wonder if this is the dip that gives me cancer" It was a constant struggle that I got tired of fighting.

My kids and wife. My mother in law was diagnosed with cancer 12/26/2012 and died 1/18/2013. She was a heavy smoker and losing her was really hard on my wife. My kids are too young to know better with the exception of my 2.5 year old who reminds my wife and I that grandma is in Heaven (I don't know where she got that so I am now more convinced there is an afterlife) We are not religious and do not go to church.

Why I joined this site:

Because I am at a point where I feel like throwing the towel in. The further I get away from my quit date the more I think about dippin.

Excuses for going back to dippin:

I am under a tremendous amount of stress at the house. I am a stay at home Dad to 3 kids under the age of 3. We have 1.5 y/o twins and an almost 3 y/o. (I am not blaming my kids for dippin, it's my fault I can't figure out a better way to handle my daily life without dip, not THEIRS)

I am a fucking asshole lately and I am getting worse. I don't put up with bullshit from anyone and I let them know it. It's taking a major toll on my relationship with my wife and I feel really bad because I am a totally different person than the guy she married. Before I'd put a dip in and let words go in one ear and out the other.

I am an addict and I am wired this way. I am starting to believe a lifetime of misery fighting urges to pacify my addictive mind are not worth it. I am fucking miserable without some substance to make me feel whole. I have been this way my entire life, and as a new parent, I am realizing this is a genetic issue. My Dad is the same way and I think my daughter may have the same issue.

Conclusion:

I watched some videos the other day of me raising my 2.5 y/o that almost brought me to tears. My wife brought them up to show me how much I had changed. The person I was then was happy, enamored with my kid, attentive and positive. I feel like I am doing my family a disservice by quitting something that will shorten my life. I know it's just another excuse but I cannot see the forest through the trees right now and I just don't think I can live life like this anymore.