hullo

[B-loMatt]

Day 73- Exercise has helped take the edge of the little funk I was in, but apathy still remains... The great news is that my quit is feeling strong. I am staying as close to KTC as I can since I know the nic bitch will try and jump me if I let my guard down. I miss the quit tracker since the mainpage updated but I am right near the $1000.00 mark of money not spent on super addictive poison weed that was killing me! I hate the whole racket.

[B-loMatt]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

Hey bub,

It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.

Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...

I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...

I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...

During this process the 70,s were the worst for me. I was so burnt out on the emotional roller coaster. Good news,, after the 70 everything improved and I've not seen days like those again. I've had some more down days, but not like those.

Proud of you mat. Get that coin ordered, better days are ahead.

Do you like ice cream? I ask because evidently some don't. Didn't think that was possible. If you do its the best for helping with the blas. It helps those transmitters and nurrotrans and whatever else fi was taking about. Quit with you bro.

Thanks guys. srans I do like ice cream and pie, cupcakes, creme brulee, whipped cream, chocolate, hot fudge; not to mention everything savory too. I think I have been trying to jumpstart my dopamine production with food a bit much though as I feel fat in my pants now! I am going to try working out again as I have not been exercising last 2 weeks. Even if that doesn't help at least I will be too tired to care.

[srans]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

Hey bub,

It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.

Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...

I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...

I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...

During this process the 70,s were the worst for me. I was so burnt out on the emotional roller coaster. Good news,, after the 70 everything improved and I've not seen days like those again. I've had some more down days, but not like those.

Proud of you mat. Get that coin ordered, better days are ahead.

Do you like ice cream? I ask because evidently some don't. Didn't think that was possible. If you do its the best for helping with the blas. It helps those transmitters and nurrotrans and whatever else fi was taking about. Quit with you bro.

[AppleJack]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

Hey bub,

It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.

Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...

I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...

I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...

[B-loMatt]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

Hey bub,

It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.

Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...

[FIGHTIN-IGNORANCE]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

Hey bub,

It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.

[B-loMatt]

70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?

[Scowick65]

I like being quit.

Bingo

[B-loMatt]

The ex smoker at the c-store on my corner told me that they had to throw out all their apple skoal since it went past the expiration date... What a boo-hoo shame... I don't know if I should be happy about that or just marvel at their previous ability to keep it in stock... Whatever. Up yours UST 'Finger'

[B-loMatt]

I like being quit.

[Derk40]

67- No dip dreams last night thank God, but I did have some craves and a bit o' the suck. I embrace the suck 'cause it means I am winning! Back to work tonite and my vacation is officialy over. My quit however is stronger than ever. I made it past several 'firsts' this past week without a poison weed in my mouth: vacation with famly and friends, fishing, a day at the beach, campfires, going to a bar with friends who dip, etc. Realizing that not only could I do all these things without dip, but that I could enjoy them without dip has made my quit stronger. Hell it awesome not to have to worry about all the b/s involved with being a slave to the can. Freedom is worth the daily fight. QLF EDD!

After further thought on the matter I am also glad that I picked up that tin for my buddy. I am not glad about him dipping or that UST made a sale, but I do not have to be afraid of 'the rack of death' in every gas station and c-store I go in. I am quit and so long as I choose to stay that way the dip cannot get me. The tins on the rack will not open themselves up and jump in my mouth. I can hold a tin in my hand (not that I am advocating doing this or planning on doing it again) and not be compeled to pack a dip as if someone else controled me. The dip and the nic bitch only have power over me that I give them. Yes I will always have craves, a case of the suck, a bought of the fog, and the nic bitch can whisper in my ear at anytime, but I am the only one who can choose to stay quit or not.

Well it is clear that buying that taught u something and strengthened ur quit. The poison does not own us. We own our quit! The tin won't open itself! Quit with you all day!

[B-loMatt]

67- No dip dreams last night thank God, but I did have some craves and a bit o' the suck. I embrace the suck 'cause it means I am winning! Back to work tonite and my vacation is officialy over. My quit however is stronger than ever. I made it past several 'firsts' this past week without a poison weed in my mouth: vacation with famly and friends, fishing, a day at the beach, campfires, going to a bar with friends who dip, etc. Realizing that not only could I do all these things without dip, but that I could enjoy them without dip has made my quit stronger. Hell it awesome not to have to worry about all the b/s involved with being a slave to the can. Freedom is worth the daily fight. QLF EDD!

After further thought on the matter I am also glad that I picked up that tin for my buddy. I am not glad about him dipping or that UST made a sale, but I do not have to be afraid of 'the rack of death' in every gas station and c-store I go in. I am quit and so long as I choose to stay that way the dip cannot get me. The tins on the rack will not open themselves up and jump in my mouth. I can hold a tin in my hand (not that I am advocating doing this or planning on doing it again) and not be compeled to pack a dip as if someone else controled me. The dip and the nic bitch only have power over me that I give them. Yes I will always have craves, a case of the suck, a bought of the fog, and the nic bitch can whisper in my ear at anytime, but I am the only one who can choose to stay quit or not.

[Derk40]

66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!

Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!

You wouldn't want your cooks spitting in your food dip or no dip...

Must be the time for dip dreams- I had one too. Super bizarro dream but same feelings of guilt-remorse-shame. Good to be quit with you!

U definitely don't want to be a slave again. Wonder if this recent dream has anything to do with you buying that tin for your buddy the other day. I have thought about that and was unsure how to respond when I read ur post. I think that was playin with fire and you should think long  hard about ever doing that again. Ur buddy askin you to buy that tin is equivalent to me asking an alcoholic buddy of mine to go to the bar and grab me a gin  tonic. Nothing to be gained  too much to lose. I am glad u thru that tin in the backseat  held ur quit. Way to hold to ur plan. Proud to be quit with you!

[Dougie]

66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!

Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!

You wouldn't want your cooks spitting in your food dip or no dip...

Must be the time for dip dreams- I had one too. Super bizarro dream but same feelings of guilt-remorse-shame. Good to be quit with you!

[Erussell]

66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!

Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!

Yes they shake me up too, but yes they are also a free glimpse at what a cave would be like, horrible. Your a bad ass. I quit with you.