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Author Topic: hullo  (Read 35200 times)

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Offline Diesel2112

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Re: hullo
« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2013, 02:18:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
So the other shoe never dropped. Busy night at work with a new summer menu. My mind was in the gutter all night and the nic bitch was a constant fucking annoyance. Craves could be strong to the point of depression, but vanished every time once I realized them for what they where... Seeds and jolly ranchers got me through the worst of it. Said screw it and had a couple drinks tonite once I felt confident I was strong in my quit. Only 2nd time in 12 days I have had alcohol: I am still very cautious about drinking opening me up to the nic bitches ways... I will sleep good tonite for sure as I worked my ass off today with housework, vigorus exercise, and a long hot shift of work... Wow that all sounds very ghey... too tired to care...
Not ghey. Normal. You won another day. That's all that matters.

Soon the small victories will add up. And things wlll get easier. I promise.
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Quit 06/04/12
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"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #38 on: June 08, 2013, 02:15:00 AM »
So the other shoe never dropped. Busy night at work with a new summer menu. My mind was in the gutter all night and the nic bitch was a constant fucking annoyance. Craves could be strong to the point of depression, but vanished every time once I realized them for what they where... Seeds and jolly ranchers got me through the worst of it. Said screw it and had a couple drinks tonite once I felt confident I was strong in my quit. Only 2nd time in 12 days I have had alcohol: I am still very cautious about drinking opening me up to the nic bitches ways... I will sleep good tonite for sure as I worked my ass off today with housework, vigorus exercise, and a long hot shift of work... Wow that all sounds very ghey... too tired to care...
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Offline kkljinc

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Re: hullo
« Reply #37 on: June 07, 2013, 10:31:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Day 11- I slep good last nite. I think it was due to being on live chat for first time, and closing the night with jvest taking the plunge! Bad assed! Now I know about getting "quit wood". KTC is sucking me in but I have things to do today. Feeling strong in my quit today. Probably be back tonite ranting about how my day sucked knowing how feeling great often works out for me...
You have drank the kool-aide Matt.... to late.
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2013, 10:30:00 AM »
Day 11- I slep good last nite. I think it was due to being on live chat for first time, and closing the night with jvest taking the plunge! Bad assed! Now I know about getting "quit wood". KTC is sucking me in but I have things to do today. Feeling strong in my quit today. Probably be back tonite ranting about how my day sucked knowing how feeling great often works out for me...
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #35 on: June 06, 2013, 08:31:00 AM »
Day 10: a little tired, but that is due to workinglate and getting up early to get my kids off to school. Feeling good so far today...
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Offline kkljinc

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Re: hullo
« Reply #34 on: June 06, 2013, 01:22:00 AM »
you foggy little fucker....look to your left and count those sheep.
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2013, 01:16:00 AM »
Ok I had a possible breakthrough about my triggers (jiggly DDs)... I am noticing the suck and strongest craves after I eat a meal (flat 6pack abs)... I wonder if Nic bitch (she def don't look like KKLs av Nic looks more like that alien singer in Jabba the Hutts palace) is making me eat more cause that is my strongest trigger??? Might be total bull shit theory as I am a big boy who likes to eat anyway, and has chosen his career to accomodate this, but I am having the munchies more now than when I smoked pot alot... I can hear my wife snoring now... Please God let the ear plugs be strong enough tonite!!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #32 on: June 06, 2013, 01:04:00 AM »
Perfect 10! Thank you!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2013, 12:56:00 AM »
Damn... I wa gonna say something... KKL I can't concentrate when you post...
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Offline kkljinc

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Re: hullo
« Reply #30 on: June 05, 2013, 09:37:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Slept ok last nite. Would have been better if my 5 year old hadn't needed her daddy at 2am, but other than that I got some rest. Had strange half remembered dreams last nite; I don't think caver dreams, but more like addict dreams... IDK. Anyway day 9 I posted roll and have things to do before I have to work tonite. I am pumped that I will be doing all nic free today!
One day at a time Matt. It will all come around. Your brain is being re-booted, nic free.Glad you have joined us, and jumped down the rabbit hole.
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #29 on: June 05, 2013, 09:08:00 AM »
Slept ok last nite. Would have been better if my 5 year old hadn't needed her daddy at 2am, but other than that I got some rest. Had strange half remembered dreams last nite; I don't think caver dreams, but more like addict dreams... IDK. Anyway day 9 I posted roll and have things to do before I have to work tonite. I am pumped that I will be doing all nic free today!
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Offline SirDerek

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Re: hullo
« Reply #28 on: June 05, 2013, 09:05:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Made it through day 8 and kept my promise. I think I might be able to sleep tonite. Exersice helps, I rode my bike 12 miles hard. I haven't gotten a cardio in like that in months! Gotta get to the store and stock up on fruits and veggies as I am eating all the damn time. Even cutting out all the beer and booze I was used to drinking, and exersiceing way more I have gained a few pounds... At least I have kept that shit out of my mouth; that's all that counts right now. O.k. back in the a.m. to repeat.
Hey - popcorn is another good low calorie food to fill you up, but remember to focus on the quit first as even if you put on a few pounds you can always shed them later.

In my first 100 days I gained 30 pounds. I held that even for a couple of months and starting in May 2nd til now I have lost 25 of them.

So give it time and things will even out.
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2013, 11:32:00 PM »
Made it through day 8 and kept my promise. I think I might be able to sleep tonite. Exersice helps, I rode my bike 12 miles hard. I haven't gotten a cardio in like that in months! Gotta get to the store and stock up on fruits and veggies as I am eating all the damn time. Even cutting out all the beer and booze I was used to drinking, and exersiceing way more I have gained a few pounds... At least I have kept that shit out of my mouth; that's all that counts right now. O.k. back in the a.m. to repeat.
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Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: hullo
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2013, 08:44:00 PM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
As I have said I have been reading intros for some of the vets who have been through this, and I think I need to post more here so that I can remember what I am going through day by day. I love that I can distract myself and learn the answers to my questions just by reading what others have gone through. Day 1 was by far the worst, but getting through that gave me the knowledge that I will be quit. I actually liked the fog I had, but that's done for now. I know I can expect the fog to come back from time to time, but since I am not drinking alcohol (at least mostly) feeling like I got a mild beer buzz is not the worst thing I could imagine. I have had few strong craves so far 8 days into my quit, and I don't know if that is a blessing or something I need to worry about. Mostly I am scratching my itch with sunflower seeds and fake dip for the stronger urges (once or twice a day since day 4- days 1-3 I was going through 2 cans of fake dip a day). Obviously as you all know and I have stated many times KTC is my crutch as advertised. I have a low level (almost background noise) feeling that is most common, and I believe this is what is refered to as the 'Suck'. The Suck is Nic bitches lies about how much I miss her (I really don't), and how lousy everything is without her poison embrace. In my past attempts at quitting I remember the Suck being way worse, and again not sure if I should be happy about the lower level of Suck or be ready for the other shoe to drop. Keeping my guard up, but happy I am not as miserable as I thought I would be. O.k. enough ramblein' for now I have a bikeride to take.
You are catching on man. You can do this. Post roll, keep promise, rinse and repeat.
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Offline kkljinc

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Re: hullo
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2013, 12:40:00 PM »
Matt, since you PM'ed me saying you like my AV, here you go, she will be forever in your thread. Stay quit, Ill quit with you today!
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