New guy, same story as most.

[Hilltop]

Mayfly, you truly are a BMF of quit. I’m proud to be quit ODAAT alongside you in April.

[Rick Jr]

Good Morning Brother, keep up the awesome work. I am proud to be Quit with you! Happy Friday!

[mayfly]

Day 30-

Thanks w2w for reminding me for getting back on this. 

Well, our month is closed for now and I really like all the quitters in April.  The support from both my month and vets alike is crazy.  I hope that I can pay it back 10 fold in the future.  I really find it therapeutic to get on intros and post support for others and their groups, you know the little things.  It just puts me and my quit more on solid ground.  I just want to say that this site is incredible, without it, I would probably still be putting that shit in my lip.  I wanted to make a shout out to all the quitters in my group and vets who are making a difference in my quit.  It really is badass and I truly value your friendship in helping me stay quit.

My sleep is really bad still, but it is getting better by the day.  I usually wake up at 1-3am and sometimes I can go back to sleep but not always.  I decided to start exercising and let me tell you, it really helps with the sleep issue.  Right now I am only running and this is really helping me pass out and get some solid sleep on the 3 days I run a week.  I've also lost around 8 lbs.  I was 197lbs when I quit and now am 189.  The goal is to get back to 180, which is what I feel comfortable at.  Quitting has brought out some healthy habits in me.  I've also decided to just cut out alcohol from my life at the moment.  I am currently on day 11 and I look forward to posting my promise in the slow-down section everyday just as much as my April 19' roll.  In the past, I could really put them down and I usually compensated with alcohol when I tried to quit dipping.  So I just bit the bullet and realized that for me to be successful, I just need to abstain for now.  Who knows what will happen down the road on that but I plan on doing what I do right now everyday, which is quit edd on both. 

I've seen others talk about their dip dreams, I really can't say that I had any yet.  I did have a bad nightmare in my 1st week where I woke up kinda scared (like night terrors) but I never can remember my dreams anyways.  So who knows what that was about.  The one shift in my quit is now the mental games have kicked in full gear.  I find my mind trying to convince me to pull into the cs for a single or a can on the way home from work but I've always just kept going.  We are creatures of habit and now relearning how to go and do the things that we love to do takes some courage and patience.  I practically did EVERYTHING in my life with a dip in but I don't miss it one bit.  It seems as though sometimes your mind tricks you into thinking that a dip is what you always did before you did a particular thing and you catch yourself.  Don't really know how to explain it.  The nic bitch never rests, I guess.  Keep up your guard.

The single most important thing to me is my roll post every day.  WUPP means a lot to me, and I have noticed that others in pre-hof groups don't think that rolling in late in the day is a big thing.  I do.  That is the pillar of my quit and probably most here on ktc.  As soon as the board flips at 12est, I am on the board most nights.  In fact, its right before my bedtime but as soon as I post roll, my choice is made for the day and I am quit.  If you do no other thing, you need to honor your quit and your groups by posting roll early and edd. 

Anxiety and almost a crave like feeling has hit me a few times since the first 2 weeks.  It seems its usually later in the day and it almost always hits when I read something about someone caving or if I'm stressed out.  I just shove a bunch of seeds in my mouth or take a pinch of my fake stuff and weather the storm.  Here's a link to what I'm going through right now post acute withdrawal.  This fits me to a T right now.  Kinda emotional.  Even though I have hit a few rough patches, I never ever really think I was close to going to get a can.  The idea just seems foreign to me already, as I see myself as a quitter and I'm not going to cross the line to the dark side.  Or something like that.  I have enough pride to grab my phone and call any of the quitters who have my back if it ever occurs.  Protecting my quit is my top priority.   Damn, this has been a hell of a ride, but I am winning ODAAT.

 

[worktowin]

Man, I had a real eye opener yesterday.  Just got home and kinda had a misty moment on the way home, realizing what kind of win this was for my fucked up nic addled mind. 

I found myself just chilling early morning on Saturday and was going to tie a fly few patterns for the next trip to the Juan and found myself looking right at a big box of nicotine gum.  It was hiding right next to my tying vice and it was kinda shocking to me,so I just eventually threw it away in the trashbin next to my desk...  I didn't even think twice about it.  But as the day went on, I started to think about it little by little.  I shook my head..  Holy shit, this is no joke.  Texted a bad ass quitter or two and let them know what I was feeling and kinda how stupid I was feeling. Next thing I knew, my phone was ringing, another quitter on the line.  He just wanted me to stay quit and to get rid of the gum..  I decided to throw it before going to dinner and felt a weight off my shoulders as soon as it landed in the dumpster. 

"The ice is just as thin for me as it is for you"  I was actually just texted this.  This shit really means something to me now...  Post early and post often...  Approach each day as it should be, as a new day.  Quit like fuck, one day at a time.

Huge win!  It absolutely gets easier.  I felt like there was a huge change for the better in my brain somewhere around 120 Days.  But, you will definitely feel it getting easier way before that.

I was a ninja dipper and I had cans hidden all over the place for "emergencies."  I just found another can a couple weeks ago hidden inside a sunglasses case.  Those first few weeks after I stopped using it would freak me out a little bit every time I stumbled on a can I forgot I had hidden.  Now every time I find a can it puts a smile on my face, and then I dump it out on the ground and throw the can away.  It honestly makes my day to find a can now.   

Hiya Mayfly.  You've been quiet, but you've been winning... but how are things going?  You jumped in here both feet and QLF, but lets hear what it feels like to be fighting and winning this battle that you are in with your bros.

[kybo]

Man, I had a real eye opener yesterday.  Just got home and kinda had a misty moment on the way home, realizing what kind of win this was for my fucked up nic addled mind. 

I found myself just chilling early morning on Saturday and was going to tie a fly few patterns for the next trip to the Juan and found myself looking right at a big box of nicotine gum.  It was hiding right next to my tying vice and it was kinda shocking to me,so I just eventually threw it away in the trashbin next to my desk...  I didn't even think twice about it.  But as the day went on, I started to think about it little by little.  I shook my head..  Holy shit, this is no joke.  Texted a bad ass quitter or two and let them know what I was feeling and kinda how stupid I was feeling. Next thing I knew, my phone was ringing, another quitter on the line.  He just wanted me to stay quit and to get rid of the gum..  I decided to throw it before going to dinner and felt a weight off my shoulders as soon as it landed in the dumpster. 

"The ice is just as thin for me as it is for you"  I was actually just texted this.  This shit really means something to me now...  Post early and post often...  Approach each day as it should be, as a new day.  Quit like fuck, one day at a time.

Huge win!  It absolutely gets easier.  I felt like there was a huge change for the better in my brain somewhere around 120 Days.  But, you will definitely feel it getting easier way before that.

I was a ninja dipper and I had cans hidden all over the place for "emergencies."  I just found another can a couple weeks ago hidden inside a sunglasses case.  Those first few weeks after I stopped using it would freak me out a little bit every time I stumbled on a can I forgot I had hidden.  Now every time I find a can it puts a smile on my face, and then I dump it out on the ground and throw the can away.  It honestly makes my day to find a can now.    

[worktowin]

Man, I had a real eye opener yesterday.  Just got home and kinda had a misty moment on the way home, realizing what kind of win this was for my fucked up nic addled mind. 

I found myself just chilling early morning on Saturday and was going to tie a fly few patterns for the next trip to the Juan and found myself looking right at a big box of nicotine gum.  It was hiding right next to my tying vice and it was kinda shocking to me,so I just eventually threw it away in the trashbin next to my desk...  I didn't even think twice about it.  But as the day went on, I started to think about it little by little.  I shook my head..  Holy shit, this is no joke.  Texted a bad ass quitter or two and let them know what I was feeling and kinda how stupid I was feeling. Next thing I knew, my phone was ringing, another quitter on the line.  He just wanted me to stay quit and to get rid of the gum..  I decided to throw it before going to dinner and felt a weight off my shoulders as soon as it landed in the dumpster. 

"The ice is just as thin for me as it is for you"  I was actually just texted this.  This shit really means something to me now...  Post early and post often...  Approach each day as it should be, as a new day.  Quit like fuck, one day at a time.

Another win.

This gets easier.  Nicotine is one big lie.  One day at a time, you've got this.

[mayfly]

Man, I had a real eye opener yesterday.  Just got home and kinda had a misty moment on the way home, realizing what kind of win this was for my fucked up nic addled mind. 

I found myself just chilling early morning on Saturday and was going to tie a fly few patterns for the next trip to the Juan and found myself looking right at a big box of nicotine gum.  It was hiding right next to my tying vice and it was kinda shocking to me,so I just eventually threw it away in the trashbin next to my desk...  I didn't even think twice about it.  But as the day went on, I started to think about it little by little.  I shook my head..  Holy shit, this is no joke.  Texted a bad ass quitter or two and let them know what I was feeling and kinda how stupid I was feeling. Next thing I knew, my phone was ringing, another quitter on the line.  He just wanted me to stay quit and to get rid of the gum..  I decided to throw it before going to dinner and felt a weight off my shoulders as soon as it landed in the dumpster. 

"The ice is just as thin for me as it is for you"  I was actually just texted this.  This shit really means something to me now...  Post early and post often...  Approach each day as it should be, as a new day.  Quit like fuck, one day at a time.

[EnuffSnuff]

Mayfly,

Good intro post. I’ve had a very similar experience to yours in my quit. The fog, the quit rage, the sleep issues. What most strikes me about the quit is that I have to break down some days by minutes to get through it. Stay the course, we got this!

[worktowin]

I'm sure this has been posted here before, but I just can't believe what I'm hearing on this video..

Congressional Hearing with tobacco company CEO's, these guys are sickos and make me want to puke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_ZDQKq2F08

The eCig scam is the one that current has me boiling. Nicotine is one big lie.

[mayfly]

I'm sure this has been posted here before, but I just can't believe what I'm hearing on this video..

Congressional Hearing with tobacco company CEO's, these guys are sickos and make me want to puke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_ZDQKq2F08

[FLLipOut]

Mike, great intro.  Keep track of your journey on this thread.  You - and quitters you inspire - will gain a lot out of it. 

I read so much that reminded me of my quit.  The insomnia (sucks!!!  but soon you will be sleeping better than you ever have - I can promise you that), the fog (My first month I billed my clients only half of the hours I "worked" because I was brain dead at least half the day!!!).  The thing that really hit me was when you said: "Have a feeling that Im about to really find out what I'm made of and how deep I can reach to stay quit day to day."  You are absolutely going to be a changed person by all of this.  Once you've slayed this dragon, you will be amazed how emboldened you will feel - and what other challenges you will want to take on.  This really is one of the best things you have ever done for yourself.  Keep it up!

PM me if you need anything.

[worktowin]

Killer intro!  By the way, intros are one of my favorite parts of this website. It is a place for us to get and give help, but also save the history of our journey to look back later. As an example... remember that hot girl you banged in a drunken fit after that Junior party?  Yeah I bet you do!  Do you remember those weird bumps and rash that you had to deal with afterwards???  No. We tend to remember the good and gloss over the bad. And it will be SO helpful to look back and see how miserable days 1-3 were when you are enjoying freedom.

Brother GREATNESS is ahead. A feeling that you haven’t felt in so long, but one day at a time will be yours. Let the fucking dip dreams and craves fuel your passion to give big tobacco the finger. Because you, sir, are doing something thstvthey have spent hundreds of billions of $$$$ to make almost impossible... quitting. That should make you feel 10’ tall.

If you need another contact, hit me up. I only pick quitters to support that win. Your intro has win written all over it.

[SRains918]

Keep kicking ass!

[mayfly]

Day 12 of my quit...  Quit has been going good after hitting 7 days or so.  Best thing I have ever done for myself.  Have a feeling that Im about to really find out what I'm made of and how deep I can reach to stay quit day to day. 

First of all, if you're reading this, just quit.  You'll thank me later.  KTC and all the tools that are here is just astounding.  All the vet quitters have been so welcoming and it really makes you feel as though you have thousands behind you in your quit.  In fact, it probably is more than that.

Words really can't describe how those first 3 days were.  Never really thought of nic as being this terrible drug similar to heroin, but it is...  I really think the only difference is it just kills you slower.  Withdrawals are the constant reminder during the first 3 days that you are truly an addict.  To me the physical cravings actually made me exhausted by the end of the day and they I just zonked out and got some sleep.  Around the end of day 2 the fog rolled in.  I really could just sit at my desk at home and look at my monitor for hours.  I couldn't think, and if I tried, it often took me 2 to 3 times longer to form a coherent thought.  Probably should have just taken the 1st 3 days off work in retrospect.  By the end of day 3, I knew that I had flushed the nic out of my system but I swear I was still having on and off physical craving for the next few days. 

Anyways, I'm now at day 5 or so and I wake up feeling pretty good.  The fog rolled in by lunchtime and got worse and worse throughout the day until early evening.  With each passing day I seem to have less and less heavy fog and it just kinda comes and goes. I start to experience some quit rage also at this time and I have to restrain my tongue at work.  Any little thing was a potential thing that could set me off. 

I finally get to the week mark and know that the worst part is behind me.  I've gotten a few low grade annoying headaches and they usually are just there not long after waking up in the morning.  I hit day 10 and start having some sleeping issues.  I go to sleep and wake up around 1, 2 or 3am and just cant get my ass back to sleep.  I keep on thinking to myself, "what next?"

Now this is currently where I am, day 12, and I am determined to just get to day 13.  The ODAAT mantra is one that I tell myself everyday and hold close to my quit.  I post my roll early and make my promise to be free from nic just for that day.  Slowly but surely the days have added up, pretty impressive I think.  But I want to stay grounded and just think in the short-term such as hours and days.  Without this site, I would have never made it.  For that I am truly grateful.

   

[kodiakdeath]

From one Mike to another, and also 30+ year dipper, you are doing awesome!  It's going to get better, and then a lot better - hang in there!  You've got some badass quitters in your corner to support you too.  Congrats on giving yourself the best Christmas present ever.