Hello Everyone,
I decided to join KTC after referring back to the site over and over again in the past 2 weeks. I've been on my own and Kodiak free since Oct. 12 find myself looking for words of wisdom, words of encouragement, and reasons not to go back down that familiar path.
I'm currently 34 years old and my story goes something like this... I grew up in a small rural town that lived on hunting, fishing, and hockey. By the age of 15 or 16, friends were passing around the Pouches of Redman the Skoal Key. I was raised by strict parents, both teachers, who expected nothing but the best from us and using dip or smoking was one way to rebel against them.
In my early years, I think it was this rebellion that started and fueled my addiction. It was my escape from having to be perfect (captain of sports teams, straight A's, etc). I was always testing to see if I could get away with it, hiding it in my cheek at home, in school. It didn't help that my 4 brothers were also using it by the time I graduated high school.
Once into college, I became a Kodiak man and used it regularly while studying, while in class, and of course at parties. It was stress reliever, my study partner, and my celebration after examinations. After 4 years and a degree, I set off for 4 more years to get my doctorate and am now a practicing healthcare provider. So for the past 8 years (2005), I've been preaching health (and doing most of it mind you) but always looked forward to that break in patients where I could sit in my office with a chew. Or..waiting for lunch to have another one.
Life was good, practice was doing well, even had plans to join my practice with my older brother who is also a healthcare provider. We had our first baby in January, and Kodiak was my saving grace at 2am, 4am, 5:30am, for 3 months of miserable colic and no sleep. I ran on 4-6hrs of sleep for 9 months and finally something went terribly wrong. On October 2nd, I woke up frantically about 20min later than normal knowing I was going to be late for work. As I hustled to get ready, I noticed weird sensations in my chest, about every minute or 2. I made it through my day, but by the time my last patient left my office, I knew something wasn't right. I ended up in the ER and was told I was having PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) which they say can happen in normal people. Cut out the caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine, and try to get some rest they told me. I went home and slept for 11hrs.
I woke up with no chest sensations, and went on my way, having several chews per day as I always have. One on the way to work, one on my first break between people, one on my way home for lunch, one on my way back to work, another between appointments, another on the way home. I felt good for 4 days. On the 5th day we took our 9month old for a walk, had dinner, and I stood up and it felt like someone was kicking me in the chest every 5-10 sec. I felt my pulse and noticed 2 or 3 beats, then a long pause, then a forceful beat, another pause...I was having PVCs back to back, 20-30 of them per minute. I was freaked out. My wife took me back to the ER as I was in a cold sweat and seriously saw my short life flash before my eyes, all I could think about was that I wouldn't get to see my little guy walk, talk, or even go to school.
At the hospital, the ER doc said I was having a lot of PVCs, close together. But what he thought was causing it was my O2 saturation was at 100%, which means I was hyperventilating...of course I was, I thought I was dying. He prescribed an anti-anxiety med and told me to see my primary doc. The ectopic beats and chest discomfort continued until I saw my primary doc that Thursday. He prescribed Lexipro which I wasn't able to fill until thursday night. By evening, I took my first Lexipro and within 2hrs, my heart rhythm returned to normal...well, until the next day around lunch time.
At that time, I went into a crazy downward spiral again, anxiety, panic, PVCs one after another, I was freaking out. I made it through the attack, but I did not feel good. By Sunday, I was no better. My brother picked me up to head out to the hunting land to work on our deer stands. As I put in my last pinch of Kodiak, I thought to myself that if my PVCs worsen while this is in, I'm done, I have to be. Sure enough, all out craziness ensued again, heart beating all erratically, sweating, anxiety, panic....When I got home that night, I showed my 3/4 full Kodiak can to my wife (who has been on my case for the past 5 years, bless her) and told her it was the last one, gave it to her and told her to throw it.
I felt so crappy with these PVCs for the first 2-3 days that those first few days which have always been so hard for me to get through in the past (I've only stopped dipping once since 1996, and it was in 2008 for 3 months when I needed to get life insurance), weren't that bad because all I could focus on was my chest sensations and PVCs.
I've been able to make it this far, just over 2 weeks, with the use of lifesavers, JollyRanchers, Sunflower Seeds, and VitC drops. I scoured the web for an alternative to Kodiak, and finally broke down and bought some Hooch Wintergreen. It's not horrible, but it's a little fine cut and fluffy for me.
My PVCs continued until Oct 23rd. My cardiologist had scheduled me for a Cardiac CT with angiography for the 24th. I called and cancelled on the 23rd after reading about the ridiculous amount of radiation a cardiac CT exposes one to. They suggested the next thing would be a stress echo than, so they can prescribe anti-arhythmic medication for the PVCs. Good news is, I've only had approximately 1-5 per day over the past few days (0 some days) and I truly believe it's cumulative stress causing my PVCs.
Anyway, sorry for the long winded introduction, but here I am nicotine free! :D
