My day 1...I don't even have the words...

[rdad]

How about an update Hando. How are you feeling about this journey so far?

Thanks for asking rdad...I'm making it. I've never been one to chronicle a journey like some of you all on here. I'm just not as diligent or disciplined, but here's a rundown of my quit so far...

Craves: I average 3 to 5 major craves a day (after meals, post workout, extended periods at my desk). As for minor craves, they come and go like passing thoughts now.

Sleep: Days 1-4, slept like I would if my bed were a bouncehouse with a kindergarten class jumping in it. Days 5-13: Slept like my 5 year old - some of the best in my life. Last few days? I've woken up each of the last 3 days between 2am and 3:30am, wide awake, for no apparent reason.

Rage: It's completely subsided. One of my main objectives in the quit was to eliminate the morning anger episodes. Pre-quit, I was a ticking time bomb when I got out of bed in the morning. My wife had to figure out the puzzle every morning: would I snap at her, kiss her, or just remain silent. As some of know, the day 1-4 rage was almost more than she could handle; that's over now. My mornings are now consistently 'neutral', which is great because I've never been a morning person.

Weight gain: As of last night, I've packed on 11lbs since my quit. I'm 170lbs, so pretty significant gain. Yes, I'm shoveling all kinds of crap into my mouth all day long to fight craves, and even lost a filling to hard candy...perfect time for a visit to the dentist.

My wife: She's so proud of me; and not in the "oh honey, great HR in the softball game" proud. No, she is legit proud of me. It's an awful thing, but my wife didn't believe in me at the start of this quit. I don't blame her; I've broken that promise so many times before.

Day 17 overall SITREP: I feel great...I really do. I've got such good dudes pinging me all day, everyday via text. We all know that the best way to hold oneself accountable is to lead, so I'm trying to be an example to others. I know it's early, but it's for my sake more than it is newer newbies. My craves remind me of the dangers of complacency - even when nic is not an option, my mind is still making strange connections in my head that there is something fundamentally missing...I can't explain it any other way. Like Satan, nic is always stirring and conspiring.

Nice Jackal.

I'm day 6 today, so the clouds are starting to part and glimmers of sunshine are beginning to peek through. Thanks for your update and sharing with us noobs what's just around the corner.

Oh, and I'm getting FAAAAAT, too. Gonna have to get that in check now that the sucks are passing.

I'm quit with you today

Another key update to share/educate. Just got back from the ER. I had killer chest pain for an hour or so before I decided to go in. EKG and other results came back negative, and doc thinks my stomach is producing some new 'stuff' in response to the quit (enzymes, acids, etc). This whole quit experience has been a trip, and as if the mind games weren't enough, now I have some sort of reflux or indigestion that makes my heart feel like it's stuck in a spikey vise...

...and through it all, I am thankful and happy. I'll take temporary brutal chest pain and fog over a missing jaw or my kids' fatherless childhoods. I don't have to be a slave to any substance.

I'm no doctor but I believe it's all part of healing. The main thing is you have a great attitude and are a man of your word.

[hando]

How about an update Hando. How are you feeling about this journey so far?

Thanks for asking rdad...I'm making it. I've never been one to chronicle a journey like some of you all on here. I'm just not as diligent or disciplined, but here's a rundown of my quit so far...

Craves: I average 3 to 5 major craves a day (after meals, post workout, extended periods at my desk). As for minor craves, they come and go like passing thoughts now.

Sleep: Days 1-4, slept like I would if my bed were a bouncehouse with a kindergarten class jumping in it. Days 5-13: Slept like my 5 year old - some of the best in my life. Last few days? I've woken up each of the last 3 days between 2am and 3:30am, wide awake, for no apparent reason.

Rage: It's completely subsided. One of my main objectives in the quit was to eliminate the morning anger episodes. Pre-quit, I was a ticking time bomb when I got out of bed in the morning. My wife had to figure out the puzzle every morning: would I snap at her, kiss her, or just remain silent. As some of know, the day 1-4 rage was almost more than she could handle; that's over now. My mornings are now consistently 'neutral', which is great because I've never been a morning person.

Weight gain: As of last night, I've packed on 11lbs since my quit. I'm 170lbs, so pretty significant gain. Yes, I'm shoveling all kinds of crap into my mouth all day long to fight craves, and even lost a filling to hard candy...perfect time for a visit to the dentist.

My wife: She's so proud of me; and not in the "oh honey, great HR in the softball game" proud. No, she is legit proud of me. It's an awful thing, but my wife didn't believe in me at the start of this quit. I don't blame her; I've broken that promise so many times before.

Day 17 overall SITREP: I feel great...I really do. I've got such good dudes pinging me all day, everyday via text. We all know that the best way to hold oneself accountable is to lead, so I'm trying to be an example to others. I know it's early, but it's for my sake more than it is newer newbies. My craves remind me of the dangers of complacency - even when nic is not an option, my mind is still making strange connections in my head that there is something fundamentally missing...I can't explain it any other way. Like Satan, nic is always stirring and conspiring.

Nice Jackal.

I'm day 6 today, so the clouds are starting to part and glimmers of sunshine are beginning to peek through. Thanks for your update and sharing with us noobs what's just around the corner.

Oh, and I'm getting FAAAAAT, too. Gonna have to get that in check now that the sucks are passing.

I'm quit with you today

Another key update to share/educate. Just got back from the ER. I had killer chest pain for an hour or so before I decided to go in. EKG and other results came back negative, and doc thinks my stomach is producing some new 'stuff' in response to the quit (enzymes, acids, etc). This whole quit experience has been a trip, and as if the mind games weren't enough, now I have some sort of reflux or indigestion that makes my heart feel like it's stuck in a spikey vise...

...and through it all, I am thankful and happy. I'll take temporary brutal chest pain and fog over a missing jaw or my kids' fatherless childhoods. I don't have to be a slave to any substance.

[Robb Wolf]

How about an update Hando. How are you feeling about this journey so far?

Thanks for asking rdad...I'm making it. I've never been one to chronicle a journey like some of you all on here. I'm just not as diligent or disciplined, but here's a rundown of my quit so far...

Craves: I average 3 to 5 major craves a day (after meals, post workout, extended periods at my desk). As for minor craves, they come and go like passing thoughts now.

Sleep: Days 1-4, slept like I would if my bed were a bouncehouse with a kindergarten class jumping in it. Days 5-13: Slept like my 5 year old - some of the best in my life. Last few days? I've woken up each of the last 3 days between 2am and 3:30am, wide awake, for no apparent reason.

Rage: It's completely subsided. One of my main objectives in the quit was to eliminate the morning anger episodes. Pre-quit, I was a ticking time bomb when I got out of bed in the morning. My wife had to figure out the puzzle every morning: would I snap at her, kiss her, or just remain silent. As some of know, the day 1-4 rage was almost more than she could handle; that's over now. My mornings are now consistently 'neutral', which is great because I've never been a morning person.

Weight gain: As of last night, I've packed on 11lbs since my quit. I'm 170lbs, so pretty significant gain. Yes, I'm shoveling all kinds of crap into my mouth all day long to fight craves, and even lost a filling to hard candy...perfect time for a visit to the dentist.

My wife: She's so proud of me; and not in the "oh honey, great HR in the softball game" proud. No, she is legit proud of me. It's an awful thing, but my wife didn't believe in me at the start of this quit. I don't blame her; I've broken that promise so many times before.

Day 17 overall SITREP: I feel great...I really do. I've got such good dudes pinging me all day, everyday via text. We all know that the best way to hold oneself accountable is to lead, so I'm trying to be an example to others. I know it's early, but it's for my sake more than it is newer newbies. My craves remind me of the dangers of complacency - even when nic is not an option, my mind is still making strange connections in my head that there is something fundamentally missing...I can't explain it any other way. Like Satan, nic is always stirring and conspiring.

Nice Jackal.

I'm day 6 today, so the clouds are starting to part and glimmers of sunshine are beginning to peek through. Thanks for your update and sharing with us noobs what's just around the corner.

Oh, and I'm getting FAAAAAT, too. Gonna have to get that in check now that the sucks are passing.

I'm quit with you today

[rdad]

Beautiful! You are right on track. Keep doing exactly what you are doing. Your activity here will help your quit along with ours. I feel good about your quit so far and am enjoying following it! Peace.

[hando]

How about an update Hando. How are you feeling about this journey so far?

Thanks for asking rdad...I'm making it. I've never been one to chronicle a journey like some of you all on here. I'm just not as diligent or disciplined, but here's a rundown of my quit so far...

Craves: I average 3 to 5 major craves a day (after meals, post workout, extended periods at my desk). As for minor craves, they come and go like passing thoughts now.

Sleep: Days 1-4, slept like I would if my bed were a bouncehouse with a kindergarten class jumping in it. Days 5-13: Slept like my 5 year old - some of the best in my life. Last few days? I've woken up each of the last 3 days between 2am and 3:30am, wide awake, for no apparent reason.

Rage: It's completely subsided. One of my main objectives in the quit was to eliminate the morning anger episodes. Pre-quit, I was a ticking time bomb when I got out of bed in the morning. My wife had to figure out the puzzle every morning: would I snap at her, kiss her, or just remain silent. As some of know, the day 1-4 rage was almost more than she could handle; that's over now. My mornings are now consistently 'neutral', which is great because I've never been a morning person.

Weight gain: As of last night, I've packed on 11lbs since my quit. I'm 170lbs, so pretty significant gain. Yes, I'm shoveling all kinds of crap into my mouth all day long to fight craves, and even lost a filling to hard candy...perfect time for a visit to the dentist.

My wife: She's so proud of me; and not in the "oh honey, great HR in the softball game" proud. No, she is legit proud of me. It's an awful thing, but my wife didn't believe in me at the start of this quit. I don't blame her; I've broken that promise so many times before.

Day 17 overall SITREP: I feel great...I really do. I've got such good dudes pinging me all day, everyday via text. We all know that the best way to hold oneself accountable is to lead, so I'm trying to be an example to others. I know it's early, but it's for my sake more than it is newer newbies. My craves remind me of the dangers of complacency - even when nic is not an option, my mind is still making strange connections in my head that there is something fundamentally missing...I can't explain it any other way. Like Satan, nic is always stirring and conspiring.

[rdad]

How about an update Hando. How are you feeling about this journey so far?

[Mike from AB]

Keep a check on those panic attacks  if they happen again go see your doc. They have meds that really help. It's not uncommon for guys here to end up on all manner of anti depressants  such, and they do have meds to help panic attacks. Mine were bad after quitting  still on meds for them. Looking back on it now, did tobacco mess with my brain chemistry? Probably. But they started for me before I quit only they were managed  I didn't recognize it at the time. Was I using as a form of self medication? Probably. No matter what though a doc can help with that  it's not uncommon in quitters so don't be afraid to seek help.

[gb321]

Are you ready to do this? Today is the big day 1. Today you quit! It's great to quit this terrible addiction. I'm proud of you and I thank you for your service you are now even more of a bad ass. I gotta run I'll follow up later.

[hando]

Totally missed all of y'all's posts from the past few days. It means lot that folks are always looking out and watching my 6 everyday. Weekend went well - kept busy and stayed focused. Had the honor of serving as a flag folder for a military funeral on Sunday. Helped keep things in perspective.

Today was awful...the worst I've had since day 3. Even had a slight panic attack this afternoon, which I've never experienced. But pulled through, worked through until midnight tonight, and socked another victory. These late evening have always been facilitated by nicotine, and I showed myself that I could do without.

I'm still in awe of the team that has so quickly formed and rallied around me. I'm so grateful for you all. Thank you for setting the example.

[rdad]

How'd you do through the weekend?

Hando, tough weekend, easy weekend, none of that matters. There will be some bad days especially in the beginning but you will find that the healing (mental and physical) follows a pretty steep upward arc. The main thing is that you posted each day this weekend, and honored your word.
Badass Brother!

[brettlees]

How'd you do through the weekend?

[pab1964]

I'm side by side quitting with you today! Go have family night without the olé interruptions! Let's do this together my friend! Proud to be quit with you today!

[Ginet]

Hi Hando. Your first quit weekend huh? You will have a lot of "firsts". In the beginning, you will feel nervous about doing things for the first time without dip because it's still new and you still carry apprehension about your ability to remain quit. Keep posting roll. You can do this.

Later on, your "firsts" will be energizing. They will strengthen your quit because you realize that you CAN and ARE remaining quit. It starts to feel pretty good. You even grin a bit here and there. Keep posting roll.

Finally, you approach the "firsts" with your head held high and a steamroller attitude because you ARE quit and you LIVE quit. You now experience hatred for dip, for big tobacco, for the years wasted, etc. You are strong. You are free. You are quit. You however are not cured. Keep posting roll.

Enjoy your quit weekend. We don't get time off. Our quit is a constant just like our addiction. I'll be here all weekend quitting like a girl.....with you.

[Mike from AB]

Prayers sent up for the first quit weekend. I can't say it better than AJ  those that followed him laid out with the faith part of it. God is with you. Not sure how long your quit lasted before but one thing I remember as a new quitter was relearning to do everything without dip. The change from work week to weekend, though I'm not sure what your duty hours are like in the army, might well bring some of those on. My weekend is spring Yardwork. When I quit I couldn't remember the last time I'd run the mower without a dip. Be mindful if new triggers this weekend  come on here if you need.

[brettlees]

Quitting with you this weekend Hando.