Well just the thought of This gives me sheer panic. I felt my breathing got shallower and my heart rate kicked up. It wasnt a good feeling. Hell I even felt like I wanted to cry and rage all at the same time for a nanosecond. This is scary.
I know what you mean, myself as well.
Tino, the very first thing that you need to learn is, you did not pick up a habit. You picked up an addiction. You are an addict! I was recently near an active addict. I watched as he put that shit into his lip, lick his fingers, wipe his lips off and shove the can back into his pocket. When that smell hit my nostrils I started to get that feeling that I was going to puke. My mouth started to water, eyes started to swell up. I doubled over for a couple of seconds. Ya know what? I have never in my life felt so good about wanting to puke.
That was NOT sheer panic. My breathing did NOT get shallower. It WAS a good feeling, I did NOT want to cry and that was NOT scary!
You want your life back you got to take it. The poison don't just give it back freely. Grady made a great observation. Now i see those things he pointed out and its great to be the one looking at an addict with pitty.
I remember the first weeks of quit i would look at a user with inner jealousy and uncontrollable want/desire for what i was quitting.
Begin to realize the poison does not deserve your want and desire. The poison deserves your hate and disgust. In time you will pitty the fool that continues to use something that takes 1000's of dollars from them each year. A life of slavery to a drug that only does one thing well. It takes until there is nothing left.
Begin reading everything you can on nocotine/addiction. Knowledge builds hate and hate drives quit. Learn your enemy, it knows you. Knowledge will enable you see whats coming. Begin taking the battle to the poison. Stop letting the poison have the advantage. Learn how to win daily.
Read intros from beginning intil now. You'll see your not the first to fight this enemy. Your battle is no different than the 1000's that have used this site to quit. Your battle is not special. Your battle is the same battle that every quitter that has hit your intro has been winning daily.
Take failure off the table. When failure is not an option quit is the only alternative. Ask yourself how many options are you allowing?!?! An addict can only have one option or he/she will fail.
Around day 40 i started to feel a lot better. You, in time will to. Quitting is the only option my friend. Things will improve before you know it. Take it one day, one hour one second at a time.Quit with you today.
