I won't lie.. I'm definitely struggling like all of you, but I'm getting confused with this concept. I know the dangers of chew.. I know I'm quit.. I know I'll never put that shit in my lip again.. NEVER.. What I'm struggling with is I feel like an alcoholic working in a bar. When I quit drinking I attended AA for 6 mo. The only way I can explain it, I needed separation, so I never went back. 8 yrs later still sober, still strong as an ox with my quit. maybe when I hit 10 years I'll attend a meeting out of respect to myself. but honestly it doesn't matter because I'll never drink again.
It's easier that it's not in my face everyday. I just want to get all things nic out of my head. I don't want to come on here and read about fucking cavers. Or see people post every other day like this is a fucking joke.
I'm in physical pain everyday. the dr said it will always be there.. I've learned to ignore it. I'm strong like that.. I just delete it..
I hope that some major vets will comment on this for me.. I'm kinda lost right now...
Kana I'm no vet and definitely no expert and may get my ass fed to me one piece at a time (nothing new)! Since 1972 I've been an addict to alcohol and nicotine, I've been recovering from alcohol completely sober since October 1979 and nic free since 1:30 am April 1, 2012. Coming online and surrounding myself with talk of dip everyday does 2 positive things for me: 1. I am reminded everyday why I quit, how long I've been quit, what power nicotine has and how others facing the same challenges as me face them. 2. For me the second positive is the brotherhood and satisfaction that comes from paying the support I've received forward. This can be very satisfying and like anything in life it has it's opposites, some addicts just aren't ready or strong enough to stay quit.
Addressing cavers and half assed posters. We are all very different and at different junctions in life. Looking at the younger quitter or less self motivated quitter I see myself 5, 10, 20, 30 or 40 years ago. There was the time in 1979 I was a motivated quitter of both alcohol and tabacco and quit both cold turkey completely on my own. Both lasted for nearly 4 years till I caved to dip! My motivation to quit was my lovely wife who I married in 1980. What happened in 1983? Well real life happened, the honeymoon was over! What happened 146 days ago that makes my quit different, strong? Maturity and Motivation! I'm a damn slow learner. But I finally woke up and realized that quitting was what I wanted, I was so tired of being a slave!
You comment you feel Like a alcoholic working in a bar: I look at it kind of like raising kids you want to shield them from every danger and evil but if they aren't exposed to real life when they are faced with it they won't be equipped to deal with what comes their way. We live in the real world we are faced by temptation and challenges daily so there is no need to shrink or shun the fight but face it head on.
Listed to WT. Wise words right there from one badass quitter.
Kana, you don't have to spend that much time on the site if you don't want to. Just log on, post your promise to your quit group and then get on with your day. Make sure you have numbers and what not handy just in case, but nothing says you need to stick around and read anything else here.
Just do the most important thing for the day - post roll and take that nicotine off the table for the day.
What he said ^^^
Echoing those thoughts, you don't need to live on the site like some of us do. It works for me. What works for me may not work for you. Post roll every day as your promise to your brothers - and the rest of the site - that you will not use and then get on with your day. You don't need to be on here or thinking about here until the next morning when you post your promise again. I think that there is a lot to be gained by staying near the site and my reccomendation is that you do...BUT...I'm not in your brain. Do what works for you - just make sure you post up everyday and you honor it. You ever need to talk or have someone post for you -you've got my number.
kana, nice intro, and I'm damned glad to be quit with you.
I have come here to quit for 463 out of the past 466 days not to forget but to remember. I am an addict, and I need to fucking remember the law of addiction... "Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance.". Just like the law of gravity, this law is something you cannot escape. You don't have to believe in it, but you are bound by its rules with absolute cerainty.
I have come here just about every day to support my friends that are fighting this fight beside me. Sometimes I'm their cornerman; other times they are mine. Neither would happen without daily posting. THAT level of friendship and brotherhood only comes from consistent and purposeful action and attention.
I am here every day (99.3% of the time that is... I'm both proud of that number and disappointed in the three failures it represents) because it saves me. At this point, I am probably good to go... I could skip weeks or months at a pop without posting. Probably not going to cave. I'm 99% sure. The thing is... I'm 100% sure that I'm not going to throw in a dip every day that I post roll. I fail to see a good reason to stop a 5 minute "chore" that guarantees my success.
The one major thing most cavers have in common on KTC is drifting away from the site. My quit brother from Aug 11, per, stopped posting after a year for the same reason you're throwing around.
On April 30 my man stopped posting.
On May 24, the badass quitter LLCope posted "LLCope -394- All these Quitheads negelecting their daily promise---they are starting to forget---dangerous! I can hear it now---"before I caved, I stopped posting with my group... I thought I had control...I forgot I was an addict"
On June 28th per, one of MY rocks, posted the following words: "My story is no different than any other failed quit. I had it licked. It was gone. I was master of my own destiny. I didn't need this place anymore. Coming here made me think of it every day, so I stopped coming here. And that's when my failure started. My quit failed on June 10, 2012."
Kana, the shit you are experiencing is normal, but keep posting. Those that drift away, cave. Those that don't, survive on a day by day basis.
Do me a favor, before you decide to stop posting here because it makes you remember dipping, message my man Per034 and see what he tells you.
