Hey folks. I've visited this forum a time or two over the years but now that I've committed to quitting, I figured it's time to log-in and say hi. I guess I need some support from experienced quitters...for reasons you'll understand in a few minutes...
I started chewing when I was in about 6th or 7th grade. Soon moved on to smoking, and didn't really chew much for most of my high school and college years, but smoked upwards of a pack a day or more my first two years of college.
Then I met a pretty girl who was disgusted by smoking, so I went back to chewing to hide my nicotine addiction. That worked well for a few years, but from time to time I'd get busted, a fight would ensue, I'd promise to quit chewing, yadayadayada...
A few years went by like this, where I'd chew in the car, at work, when I was working in the yard, while hunting, hiking, etc. Hiding tins and spitters in key locations. Basically, whenever I was by myself I'd chew. I hid it from my wife, most co-workers and friends. I was a closet dipper.
Then my wife and I moved out west, and decided that I just didn't want to be slave to my addiction anymore. I was embarrassed when friends I respected would catch me chewing and they'd act all shocked. One of my closest and most respected friends once said, "You're the only dude I hang out with who chews. That shit is pretty disgusting."
So I started chewing sunflower seeds and regular gum and after a few weeks of cravings, I just gave it up altogether the winter of 2005. I was nicotine-free -- and relatively easily so -- for the next two years. I don't really remember the quit being very hard that first time. I remember just deciding one day I was going to quit and never bought another tin. It wasn't the torture I expected, or experienced later (as you'll read about in a minute) when I relapsed years later.
So after a few years of nicotine free existence my marriage fell apart, I moved to a new town, and I found myself hanging out at bars quite a bit as I tried to meet new people in my new community. Back then the state still allowed smoking in bars, and I soon began smoking again. When I couldn't smoke I'd chew. I'd say I smoked about 10 cigarettes a day and chewed about a tin a week for about two years.
Then I met another pretty girl, who happened to be a competitive marathon runner and all-around athlete and, as you can imagine, was disgusted by smoking. I've found that most pretty girls I'm attracted to have very little interest in kissing dudes who smell and taste like an ashtray. So I gave up the smokes in order to get the girl... but in doing so increased my chewing to about a tin and a half to two tins a week. As work and life stress increased, I gradually found myself chewing two to three tins a week.
The chew really affected my overall well-being. The annoying cravings when I couldn't chew stressed me out and made my cranky. When I did chew I'd get bad heartburn, so I was eating Tums and taking Zantac to combat the acid reflux. I found myself chewing for the sake of chewing even when I wasn't necessarily craving it, but just had that oral fixation to deal with. It was pretty miserable all the way around and I knew I had to quit this shit for good. I tried several times, but I'd only make it a day or two before buying another tin...
Then, about a month ago, an old friend of mine came to visit. He had quit smoking a year or so ago, inspired by his wife and newborn child. In order to combat the occasional intense cravings he always had a few pieces of nicotine gum handy. Well I was really jonesing for a dip one evening and was thinking about sneaking out to buy a tin, when my buddy handed me a piece of the gum and said, "try this." I did, and I was shocked at how it instantly dulled the razors-edge of the craving. I managed to make it through evening without freaking out and actually had a good time drinking wine and playing game with my sweetheart and our friends without dipping.
So a week or so later I decided to drop some coin on a box of gum and give quitting a try once again. Three weeks later haven't had a dip of tobacco.
I chew a few pieces of gum per day and use the Smokey Mountain chew to address the oral fixation and to spread out the nicotine gum doses. When I feel like chewing the gum, I'll use the Smokey Mountain instead and try to buy myself a few hours. I'm trying to rely more on the Smokey Mountain and less on the gum each day. In fact, this past opening weekend of hunting, I think I only chewed two pieces of gum the entire time I was hunting. Didn't even use the Smokey Mountain. A year ago I might have polished off an entire tin over the course of opening weekend. The first few days I was chewing about 10-11 pieces of 4mg gum per day. Now I'm down to around 3-6.
Anyway, after this box of gum is gone I plan to buy one more small package of the 2 mg gum and try to wean myself off that over the course of the next week.
So far I'm feeling really good about not having bought a tin or bummed a dip. I've also let my close friends know about my quit so they can a) encourage me, and B) help prevent me from buying a tin if I hit a weak moment (which usually happens when I drink beers). I've searched my house and trashed any spare tins of chew or snus I had laying around. All the spitters have disappeared.
The real bummer is that my sweetheart didn't know I was regularly chewing, so now I'm hiding the Smokey Mountain and gum from her instead of the tobacco tins and spitters. I've boxed myself into a corner where I can't really share my quit experience with her without acknowledging that I've been chewing the entire time we've been together. Pretty girls like dishonesty about as much as they like licking ashtrays.
That's the worst part about this whole thing. Man, it makes me feel like a heroin addict or something. I actually dated a girl for nearly a year before I found out she was addicted to Oxy. I was shocked, but supportive and did my best to help her beat her addiction. Now I kind of know what it's like to be on the other side of that equation. Nicotine isn't exactly as life-destroying as hillbilly heroin, but it's just as addictive.
Anyway, I've set a goal to be off the gum and the Rocky Mountain chew by the end of November. I'd like to have a month of total quit under my belt before the New Year. Now that I haven't actually had a dip of tobacco in three weeks, my instinct to stop by the store and buy a tin has waned. Just in case I pay at the gas pump nowadays to avoid even going into a gas station where I might be tempted to throw a can of Grizzly on the counter. I even fill up at a different gas station than the one I used to buy chew at. I feel like if I can break as many habits as possible BEFORE giving up the drug altogether I'll be in much better position to take the leap. I just was NOT able to go cold turkey this time. I tried and tried and failed and failed. And failing sucks.
So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm probably too distractable to post roll consistently, so I'm going to start something I won't commit to. But I do want to stop by here from time to time as I do my best to Kill the Can.
Thanks for the forum and I hope I'll be inducted into the hall of fame three months from now.
Cheers,
bigsky406
