ES intro

[Rick Jr]

21 Days - 3 Weeks

My wife and I haven't talked much about my quit. Today I told her I was at a milestone. I laughed, told her we celebrate small milestones at the beginning to encourage the quit and stay excited about it - rather than focusing on "missing" our old friend (perceived), the can.

I also confided in her that I haven't felt like my quit has negatively affected me too much. I haven't felt overwhelming craving, I haven't had the nightmares, sleep has been pretty normal, I haven't felt angry or irritable. To my happy surprise, she confirmed that I have not seemed different, in a negative way. She actually said I've maybe been more pleasant! That might also have something to do with my excitement over her carrying our first child - I have tried to be a more caring husband and show her that I can be her rock while we go through this for the first time.

I feel really good about my quit. I like not feeling that judgment when talking to someone and you just know they're a bit grossed out by the fatty in your lip. I like not being a sludge factory, having to turn away a little to try to be "polite" about letting go a puddle of dip-spit or carrying around a spitter like a fucking security blanket. I like that my lip is starting to feel smooth again, not like a coral reef of shredded skin. I like that I don't have to wipe my fingers off on my pant leg or constantly have a supply of spare napkins or even access to a sink to take care of the foul-smelling and brown-staining hands after procuring a massive lipper like someone's gonna give me a trophy for it. I like not feeling the nagging guilt of sucking on a giant cat turd, all the while knowing what it's doing to my body and the health risks it is imposing on me. I like that, as long as I stay quit, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "at least you're not continuing to make it worse."

Boys and girls, when I was 25, my dad died of cancer and he did nothing to increase his odds of such an illness. He was only 56 years old and had lived a healthy life. I know there are others here who have beat themselves up for taking part in this stupid addiction, knowing what it can do to us. I have beat the shit out of myself over it. Why did it take me this long to get quit? I don't know. But I'm here now. I can't regret not quitting sooner, that doesn't matter. I can't regret ever starting to begin with, what's done is done. I can look at MYSELF and FINALLY say, "no more."

With the help of all of you, here on this forum, and with a little prayer for strength, I can continue to live quit. I can remind myself constantly of how much more I have to gain by staying quit than I could ever PRETEND to gain by going back. Thanks for all the support, y'all. Nothing like being surrounded by some BAQs to keep a guy like me motivated.

Yeah Buddy! Congrats on Many accounts! You have been kicking butt and taking names! Proud of you and Proud to quit with you today and EDD!  Keep it up!

[Hilltop]

21 Days - 3 Weeks

My wife and I haven't talked much about my quit. Today I told her I was at a milestone. I laughed, told her we celebrate small milestones at the beginning to encourage the quit and stay excited about it - rather than focusing on "missing" our old friend (perceived), the can.

I also confided in her that I haven't felt like my quit has negatively affected me too much. I haven't felt overwhelming craving, I haven't had the nightmares, sleep has been pretty normal, I haven't felt angry or irritable. To my happy surprise, she confirmed that I have not seemed different, in a negative way. She actually said I've maybe been more pleasant! That might also have something to do with my excitement over her carrying our first child - I have tried to be a more caring husband and show her that I can be her rock while we go through this for the first time.

I feel really good about my quit. I like not feeling that judgment when talking to someone and you just know they're a bit grossed out by the fatty in your lip. I like not being a sludge factory, having to turn away a little to try to be "polite" about letting go a puddle of dip-spit or carrying around a spitter like a fucking security blanket. I like that my lip is starting to feel smooth again, not like a coral reef of shredded skin. I like that I don't have to wipe my fingers off on my pant leg or constantly have a supply of spare napkins or even access to a sink to take care of the foul-smelling and brown-staining hands after procuring a massive lipper like someone's gonna give me a trophy for it. I like not feeling the nagging guilt of sucking on a giant cat turd, all the while knowing what it's doing to my body and the health risks it is imposing on me. I like that, as long as I stay quit, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "at least you're not continuing to make it worse."

Boys and girls, when I was 25, my dad died of cancer and he did nothing to increase his odds of such an illness. He was only 56 years old and had lived a healthy life. I know there are others here who have beat themselves up for taking part in this stupid addiction, knowing what it can do to us. I have beat the shit out of myself over it. Why did it take me this long to get quit? I don't know. But I'm here now. I can't regret not quitting sooner, that doesn't matter. I can't regret ever starting to begin with, what's done is done. I can look at MYSELF and FINALLY say, "no more."

With the help of all of you, here on this forum, and with a little prayer for strength, I can continue to live quit. I can remind myself constantly of how much more I have to gain by staying quit than I could ever PRETEND to gain by going back. Thanks for all the support, y'all. Nothing like being surrounded by some BAQs to keep a guy like me motivated.

Man you’re crushing the quit. You’re one of my 22 day BAQ’s so essentially we share a quit date. I just broke it to my wife this weekend I’m on a quit journey and she too was very proud of what I’ve accomplished. I ninja dipped around her for a long time, ashamed to let her know I was an addict. She is so supportive of me after I told her. She asks me every morning if I’ve posted roll. She’s gonna hold my addict ass accountable just like my quit brothers. ES, I’m proud of you man, and I’m proud to be quit with you. We got this...ODAAT

You guys are doing great, I’m going to be a broken record here and repeat again the best part of my quit; BURN THE BOATS!!
 No better way to commit than to destroy a back door exit. Accountability. One more time.......ACCOUNTABILITY!!
 ES, and EnuffSnuff, you guys are killing it. See ya at roll for one more day.

[EnuffSnuff]

21 Days - 3 Weeks

My wife and I haven't talked much about my quit. Today I told her I was at a milestone. I laughed, told her we celebrate small milestones at the beginning to encourage the quit and stay excited about it - rather than focusing on "missing" our old friend (perceived), the can.

I also confided in her that I haven't felt like my quit has negatively affected me too much. I haven't felt overwhelming craving, I haven't had the nightmares, sleep has been pretty normal, I haven't felt angry or irritable. To my happy surprise, she confirmed that I have not seemed different, in a negative way. She actually said I've maybe been more pleasant! That might also have something to do with my excitement over her carrying our first child - I have tried to be a more caring husband and show her that I can be her rock while we go through this for the first time.

I feel really good about my quit. I like not feeling that judgment when talking to someone and you just know they're a bit grossed out by the fatty in your lip. I like not being a sludge factory, having to turn away a little to try to be "polite" about letting go a puddle of dip-spit or carrying around a spitter like a fucking security blanket. I like that my lip is starting to feel smooth again, not like a coral reef of shredded skin. I like that I don't have to wipe my fingers off on my pant leg or constantly have a supply of spare napkins or even access to a sink to take care of the foul-smelling and brown-staining hands after procuring a massive lipper like someone's gonna give me a trophy for it. I like not feeling the nagging guilt of sucking on a giant cat turd, all the while knowing what it's doing to my body and the health risks it is imposing on me. I like that, as long as I stay quit, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "at least you're not continuing to make it worse."

Boys and girls, when I was 25, my dad died of cancer and he did nothing to increase his odds of such an illness. He was only 56 years old and had lived a healthy life. I know there are others here who have beat themselves up for taking part in this stupid addiction, knowing what it can do to us. I have beat the shit out of myself over it. Why did it take me this long to get quit? I don't know. But I'm here now. I can't regret not quitting sooner, that doesn't matter. I can't regret ever starting to begin with, what's done is done. I can look at MYSELF and FINALLY say, "no more."

With the help of all of you, here on this forum, and with a little prayer for strength, I can continue to live quit. I can remind myself constantly of how much more I have to gain by staying quit than I could ever PRETEND to gain by going back. Thanks for all the support, y'all. Nothing like being surrounded by some BAQs to keep a guy like me motivated.

Man you’re crushing the quit. You’re one of my 22 day BAQ’s so essentially we share a quit date. I just broke it to my wife this weekend I’m on a quit journey and she too was very proud of what I’ve accomplished. I ninja dipped around her for a long time, ashamed to let her know I was an addict. She is so supportive of me after I told her. She asks me every morning if I’ve posted roll. She’s gonna hold my addict ass accountable just like my quit brothers. ES, I’m proud of you man, and I’m proud to be quit with you. We got this...ODAAT

[ES]

21 Days - 3 Weeks

My wife and I haven't talked much about my quit. Today I told her I was at a milestone. I laughed, told her we celebrate small milestones at the beginning to encourage the quit and stay excited about it - rather than focusing on "missing" our old friend (perceived), the can.

I also confided in her that I haven't felt like my quit has negatively affected me too much. I haven't felt overwhelming craving, I haven't had the nightmares, sleep has been pretty normal, I haven't felt angry or irritable. To my happy surprise, she confirmed that I have not seemed different, in a negative way. She actually said I've maybe been more pleasant! That might also have something to do with my excitement over her carrying our first child - I have tried to be a more caring husband and show her that I can be her rock while we go through this for the first time.

I feel really good about my quit. I like not feeling that judgment when talking to someone and you just know they're a bit grossed out by the fatty in your lip. I like not being a sludge factory, having to turn away a little to try to be "polite" about letting go a puddle of dip-spit or carrying around a spitter like a fucking security blanket. I like that my lip is starting to feel smooth again, not like a coral reef of shredded skin. I like that I don't have to wipe my fingers off on my pant leg or constantly have a supply of spare napkins or even access to a sink to take care of the foul-smelling and brown-staining hands after procuring a massive lipper like someone's gonna give me a trophy for it. I like not feeling the nagging guilt of sucking on a giant cat turd, all the while knowing what it's doing to my body and the health risks it is imposing on me. I like that, as long as I stay quit, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "at least you're not continuing to make it worse."

Boys and girls, when I was 25, my dad died of cancer and he did nothing to increase his odds of such an illness. He was only 56 years old and had lived a healthy life. I know there are others here who have beat themselves up for taking part in this stupid addiction, knowing what it can do to us. I have beat the shit out of myself over it. Why did it take me this long to get quit? I don't know. But I'm here now. I can't regret not quitting sooner, that doesn't matter. I can't regret ever starting to begin with, what's done is done. I can look at MYSELF and FINALLY say, "no more."

With the help of all of you, here on this forum, and with a little prayer for strength, I can continue to live quit. I can remind myself constantly of how much more I have to gain by staying quit than I could ever PRETEND to gain by going back. Thanks for all the support, y'all. Nothing like being surrounded by some BAQs to keep a guy like me motivated.

[chris2alaska]

I just realized: I'm not only quit of nicotine, I'm quit of A&W Root Beer...

I used to buy a bottle of A&W every now and then because the plastic bottle is brown and I felt that it would be less visually traumatic for my peers to see that bottle with unknown content, rather than a half-fucking-destroyed-because-it-can't-handle-the-back-pocket-of-my-jeans water bottle full of warm, dark, liquid shit-spit. My trusty A&W spitter: concealing my dark secret insofar as being relatively innocuous in-and-of itself (not like the third-of-a-can tediously stuffed into my lower lip wasn't a dead giveaway...). Hey, my theory was correct; several people over the years thanked me for using a dark spitter so it didn't look so gross in their presence. It was my pleasure to serve you, ya pussies.

I don't know why I thought about that just now. Sitting at my desk at work and I don't have to dodge a spitter while I carry on probably had something to do with it.

Also, I've been relishing driving my truck around and not dodging a spitter. Working in my home office - not dodging. In my workshop? Oh, not dodging. I DON'T HAVE A BOTTLE FULL OF MY OWN DAMN SPIT, MADE TO LOOK LIKE FUCKING DIARRHEA BY THE WAD OF LITERAL FUCKING ROTTEN GARBAGE ABSOLUTELY SMASHED INTO MY LIP BECAUSE I COULD ALWAYS FIT A LITTLE MORE!

All that said, I may just buy me a fucking A&FUCKING W Root Beer. Just so I can enjoy the tasty beverage at my own pace (not slamming it cuz it's time for a dip and I need the bottle). Then, when I've savored every last drop to my satisfaction, I will gently deposit the bottle into the first recycling receptacle available with a sly grin on my face while I whisper, my tone dripping with coy malice, "thanks for the drink, but I don't fucking need you anymore."

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!

That was awesome!

[ES]

I just realized: I'm not only quit of nicotine, I'm quit of A&W Root Beer...

I used to buy a bottle of A&W every now and then because the plastic bottle is brown and I felt that it would be less visually traumatic for my peers to see that bottle with unknown content, rather than a half-fucking-destroyed-because-it-can't-handle-the-back-pocket-of-my-jeans water bottle full of warm, dark, liquid shit-spit. My trusty A&W spitter: concealing my dark secret insofar as being relatively innocuous in-and-of itself (not like the third-of-a-can tediously stuffed into my lower lip wasn't a dead giveaway...). Hey, my theory was correct; several people over the years thanked me for using a dark spitter so it didn't look so gross in their presence. It was my pleasure to serve you, ya pussies.

I don't know why I thought about that just now. Sitting at my desk at work and I don't have to dodge a spitter while I carry on probably had something to do with it.

Also, I've been relishing driving my truck around and not dodging a spitter. Working in my home office - not dodging. In my workshop? Oh, not dodging. I DON'T HAVE A BOTTLE FULL OF MY OWN DAMN SPIT, MADE TO LOOK LIKE FUCKING DIARRHEA BY THE WAD OF LITERAL FUCKING ROTTEN GARBAGE ABSOLUTELY SMASHED INTO MY LIP BECAUSE I COULD ALWAYS FIT A LITTLE MORE!

All that said, I may just buy me a fucking A&FUCKING W Root Beer. Just so I can enjoy the tasty beverage at my own pace (not slamming it cuz it's time for a dip and I need the bottle). Then, when I've savored every last drop to my satisfaction, I will gently deposit the bottle into the first recycling receptacle available with a sly grin on my face while I whisper, my tone dripping with coy malice, "thanks for the drink, but I don't fucking need you anymore."

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!

[Hilltop]

Ending Day 12:

I'm beginning to wonder if the only symptom I've felt so far is that I've seemed to stay pretty tired. Coffee gets me going a bit in the morning, but without that evil OTHER stimulant, I seem to fade a bit as the day goes on. I think my body has just been used to a stimulant all the damn time. Haven't really felt like I'm in "the fog," just generally more tired. Which is probably good because I'm armed all the time and probably don't need to be slipping too hard, mentally - especially because I love my job, and don't reckon I'd love prison... (just a little light humor, don't get too spun up)

Other than that, I feel great! Over the course of six days I did chew a can of Smoky Mountain WG that my buddy gave me cuz he wasn't using it. But, the fact that it took me six days to get through one can of fake shit felt like a good comparison to my former can-a-day weakness. I rock some BBQ seeds now and then, maybe a few more pieces of candy that I usually don't eat, but my oral fixation - as it were - isn't seeming too bad at all. I chewed on a toothpick one day early on until I realized I'm, in fact, NOT a fucking beaver and chewing on a stick was actually making me a little nauseous...

Another shout out to the folks here that keep brothers and sisters accountable! To name a few, I want to personally thank Palpatine, chris2alaska, Addict Architect, Hilltop, EnuffSnuff, Josh, Keith0617, mayfly, Nick T, Shake, and BearNM for being regular fixtures in my day with encouraging texts and such. You're a bunch of stand up guys and I'm sure I wouldn't be almost 2 weeks quit without your conversation and time.

To the vets: ya'll are BAs, not only for throwin' up some serious consecutive quit #s but for taking the time to invite us newbies to dive into the wake of your success and follow.

To my fellow April Quitters: I'm always excited to post roll in the morning and see who has already been here and then see us stack up as the day goes on! I'm proud to quit with a group of BAMFs that seem to be in this shit to win!

You’re killing it brother!! Keep it going!

[ES]

Ending Day 12:

I'm beginning to wonder if the only symptom I've felt so far is that I've seemed to stay pretty tired. Coffee gets me going a bit in the morning, but without that evil OTHER stimulant, I seem to fade a bit as the day goes on. I think my body has just been used to a stimulant all the damn time. Haven't really felt like I'm in "the fog," just generally more tired. Which is probably good because I'm armed all the time and probably don't need to be slipping too hard, mentally - especially because I love my job, and don't reckon I'd love prison... (just a little light humor, don't get too spun up)

Other than that, I feel great! Over the course of six days I did chew a can of Smoky Mountain WG that my buddy gave me cuz he wasn't using it. But, the fact that it took me six days to get through one can of fake shit felt like a good comparison to my former can-a-day weakness. I rock some BBQ seeds now and then, maybe a few more pieces of candy that I usually don't eat, but my oral fixation - as it were - isn't seeming too bad at all. I chewed on a toothpick one day early on until I realized I'm, in fact, NOT a fucking beaver and chewing on a stick was actually making me a little nauseous...

Another shout out to the folks here that keep brothers and sisters accountable! To name a few, I want to personally thank Palpatine, chris2alaska, Addict Architect, Hilltop, EnuffSnuff, Josh, Keith0617, mayfly, Nick T, Shake, and BearNM for being regular fixtures in my day with encouraging texts and such. You're a bunch of stand up guys and I'm sure I wouldn't be almost 2 weeks quit without your conversation and time.

To the vets: ya'll are BAs, not only for throwin' up some serious consecutive quit #s but for taking the time to invite us newbies to dive into the wake of your success and follow.

To my fellow April Quitters: I'm always excited to post roll in the morning and see who has already been here and then see us stack up as the day goes on! I'm proud to quit with a group of BAMFs that seem to be in this shit to win!

[ES]

Day 8 now!!!  Congrats!  You sir are a badass and one I will quit with EDD!!  Actually proud for you.

Thank you, sir! Excited to be quitting with folks like you! The support is extremely appreciated!

[mayfly]

Day 8 now!!!  Congrats!  You sir are a badass and one I will quit with EDD!!  Actually proud for you. 

[Athan]

Congratulations on the week.  Success breeds success. Keep setting those goals up and knocking them down like dominoes.  Very much appreciate your interaction, energy, and passion in April '19.  Your home is what you make it.  You boys are off to a fine start.  Looking forward to forever one day at a time!

[ES]

Day 7: got my first week quit and feeling good! This is the longest I've ever been quit by my own active decision to do so. I've had stoppages; a week here, a week there, even over 2 months one time - but these stoppages were always because I either didn't have a can available to me or I didn't want to display my nasty compulsion to certain people that I was with.

So, yeah, I feel a certain pride and victory in 7 days that I stayed the course when I could have just stopped by the c-store and caved. And I owe a big thanks to this forum, the folks that have supported me online and those with whom I've exchanged numbers that text me regularly. This site will only work if you buy into it. Believe in accountability - even to folks you've just met and not even in person. Read the posts from vets, HOF quit groups - both the successes and the tragedies.

Anyway, thank you all! I'm happy to be on Day 7!

[Athan]

Love your enthusiasm ES.  Keep blogging it out. I hope you find it as therapeutic as I did.
Keep posting roll first thing every day; you're only as quit as yesterday. All of us are one stupid decision from posting day 1 again.
Never Again For Any Reason. Life will happen.  It doesn't stop because you chose to stop using and be clean.
People are still stupid and obnoxious, work is still work, it'll still rain on your beach vacation.  It's your resolve that counts, that and the life lines you build.
Proud to quit with you today

[chris2alaska]

4 days quit. I've been talking to some of you and may have mentioned that my physical symptoms have been minimal, if not non-existent thus far.  This has been really surprising to me after nearly a decade of chewing, can a day for most of that. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and wake up one day feeling like ass.

I feel guilty. I'm reading about the tough physical shit some guys and gals here are going through, and I feel like I should be feeling that. I deserve to be feeling that for what I've done to my body.

But at the same time - forgive me - it pushes me. Knowing that others here are having a rough go of it compared to what I'm experiencing so far motivates me. It motivates me by making me think, "hey, so-and-so is getting his ass kicked and is staying quit, so what the fuck is your excuse gonna be if you fuck this up?"

Then, today comes along. Day 4, been at work all week. Been good. Feel good. Nothing to whine about. I hit the gas station on my way to work. Wife comes along, driving separate cuz' we're both headed to work. I start the pump and run in to buy her donut and juice (preggers can have whatEVER she wants). Get to the counter to buy her things and a little OJ for myself, no problem. We walk out, I kiss her goodbye for the work day. Get to my truck. Wife pulls away in her car. I go back inside... Don't worry though, my friends, there will be NO CAVE - damn pump said "see cashier for receipt"...

THEN, I have lunch at work. Been bringing my lunch pretty good for a couple weeks, felt like a treat today, get a killer discount at Chipotle, so why not? This is where I decided I needed to post to my story. Not because it's some major achievement or a particularly rough day. I am making this post so that I don't forget:

I got the same bowl I always get. I felt like a color-blind dude wearing those fancy glasses, ya'll. The flavor of the food, the feel of the food on my tongue. It was all different. It seemed so much more intense, and I'm pretty sure the line cook didn't spike my fucking rice with anything. I kinda sat there just living in that moment. It was like my senses were re-awakened, and it was awesome.

Veteran quitters, folks in my quit group, I want you all to know that this site provides the head-space and the backup to do this. It's pretty wonderful, really.

ES,

I was the same way.  I never experienced "The Fog", never had really bad cravings.  I, unfortunately , just ate a lot more and am now paying the price for that.  Don't feel guilty, use the fact that you feel better to motivate you to help other quitters are are not having such a great time of their quit. 

You are still quitting, and that , in and of itself, is no easy task.

Quit on Brother,

Chris

[ES]

4 days quit. I've been talking to some of you and may have mentioned that my physical symptoms have been minimal, if not non-existent thus far.  This has been really surprising to me after nearly a decade of chewing, can a day for most of that. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and wake up one day feeling like ass.

I feel guilty. I'm reading about the tough physical shit some guys and gals here are going through, and I feel like I should be feeling that. I deserve to be feeling that for what I've done to my body.

But at the same time - forgive me - it pushes me. Knowing that others here are having a rough go of it compared to what I'm experiencing so far motivates me. It motivates me by making me think, "hey, so-and-so is getting his ass kicked and is staying quit, so what the fuck is your excuse gonna be if you fuck this up?"

Then, today comes along. Day 4, been at work all week. Been good. Feel good. Nothing to whine about. I hit the gas station on my way to work. Wife comes along, driving separate cuz' we're both headed to work. I start the pump and run in to buy her donut and juice (preggers can have whatEVER she wants). Get to the counter to buy her things and a little OJ for myself, no problem. We walk out, I kiss her goodbye for the work day. Get to my truck. Wife pulls away in her car. I go back inside... Don't worry though, my friends, there will be NO CAVE - damn pump said "see cashier for receipt"...

THEN, I have lunch at work. Been bringing my lunch pretty good for a couple weeks, felt like a treat today, get a killer discount at Chipotle, so why not? This is where I decided I needed to post to my story. Not because it's some major achievement or a particularly rough day. I am making this post so that I don't forget:

I got the same bowl I always get. I felt like a color-blind dude wearing those fancy glasses, ya'll. The flavor of the food, the feel of the food on my tongue. It was all different. It seemed so much more intense, and I'm pretty sure the line cook didn't spike my fucking rice with anything. I kinda sat there just living in that moment. It was like my senses were re-awakened, and it was awesome.

Veteran quitters, folks in my quit group, I want you all to know that this site provides the head-space and the backup to do this. It's pretty wonderful, really.