I am currently on Day 8 of being Nicotine free. This is the longest I have been off Copenhagen since I started back in 1984. I did not want to post anything until I was passed the initial fog and into the daily “hate everything, turret laden blow-ups” that continue to occur
Up until about 12 years ago, I never really wanted to quit. And letÂ’s be honest, if I wanted to quit back then I would have. I promised my wife when my son was born I would quit. I promised my son that I would quit, and then my daughter, and yet it never happened.
I have visited this site periodically over the years but never made the commitment to stop. I always had an excuse as to why it was a bad time. Too much traveling (road dip), convention season (drink dip), summer workouts (14 hour day dips), football season (stress dips), holiday season. There was always a reason why it was a bad time to try to quit. I have printed out the Death Day dream, but never actually posted it where it could help hold me accountable.
When we started up camp about a month ago, I was in my regular 2-a-day practices, almost 2 cans a day habit. I was having trouble dealing with many changes. I was angry about not getting a promotion that I was overly qualified for over the summer and frustrated with kids that really did not care about getting better. Here I was killing myself a dip at a time, and for what? It was then when I heard my pastor say “It’s never the right time to do the wrong thing, and it’s never the wrong time to do the right thing”. He was talking about our relationship with God, and our relationships with those around us. At that very point, I decided enough was enough, and if God put me in that pew to interpret the message the way that I did, then he would also provide me the strength and resources (Killthecan) to beat this.
I know myself, and I knew that I would not be able to quit cold turkey based on the volume of nicotine that I was dumping into my body on a daily basis and the fact that my whole world built around routines. The reports on Hooch was the closest I could find to Copenhagen, so I ordered 4 rolls and started my experiment. Week 1 was a 1:1 ratio of Copenhagen / Hooch mixture. Week 2 was a 1:2 ratio of Copenhagen / Hooch mixture. Week 3 was straight Hooch, that was on September 1st. My cravings to even put something in my mouth are decreasing, some days are better than others.
I want to thank everyone who has come before me and talked about what they are feeling / experiencing so I at least know some of the daily struggles that I will have to face over the rest of my days.
