Author Topic: Day #X  (Read 278 times)

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Offline Athan

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2021, 08:43:45 AM »
I'm digg'n your intro man. Keep blogging it out - it's very therapeutic. Three weeks is a big deal, yuge. Keep on keepin on ODAAT.
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Online GS9502

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2021, 06:16:16 PM »
Day 21,

What a dumb (Reading my day 9). Smelled some Copenhagen mint yesterday, not sure where they get off on calling it mint, smelled like ass. And yet I liked the smell of cigars before and after. Weird?

Cinnamon mints I find the most helpful. The fake stuff reminds me too much. Some of its close in flavor, some is close in look, some is close in texture, nothing will ever match up. That's fine, if it works for you and doesn't have nicotine, go for it. Hell I may carry a fake can around with me for a while just in-case, because its better than the alternative.

Currently dealing with some teeth problems. Oral Surgeon removing 3 wisdom teeth (1 cracked on Fathers Day, 1 could be kept, and 1 with a cavity starting) in early September. Will be back to the dentist to see what other issues I need to deal with until money runs out (no health insurance at work...). I can't say I blame much on nicotine or tobacco, I was the dumbass that would throw a lip in first thing then decide I didn't need to brush in the morning because I hadn't gotten enough out of it yet. To some degree sure, I'm sure tobacco caused my gums to recede a bit, but I also chose to keep throwing a dip in the same spot. Fuck half my anxiety is not knowing how much I've fucked my teeth. The other half is normal (I've always hated going to the dentist).

In quitting, I post roll as soon as I wake up, then I piss and brush my teeth, etc etc go to work (checking my group at work if in service), then posting in a couple of the "old" (do you prefer seasoned?) groups when I get home through the evening (maybe more reinforcement, not sure), doesn't feel right to post in groups in under 100 days (with myself at 21 days).

Dunno. Could probably ramble more....

...

Sorry to everyone who's exchanged #'s with me, not sure what to text back sometimes and other times I look and forget to get back. Will try to be better.

Keep it going! The only thing that really truly matters is that you stay quit. Everything else is gravy.
Dude, you are rocking it! You've got 22 days in today. Look at where you were 23 days ago and where you are now. You're a different person, a changed person, a healthier person. You're saving your life a bit more every day now. Keep that shit up!

I'm a cinnamon guy, too. For some reason, cinnamon curbs my cravings. I order Mentos gum by the box and Teaza pouches in the 25 pack. Those things are awesome. I get the dentist fear, but I swear, when you go for your first checkup after you've been quit for a while and your dentist says your gums look healthier, pinker, not as swollen - man, that's a great feeling. You'll be proud of yourself all over again.

None of us has any idea what may be in the future because we were fucking stupid at one time in our lives. Whatever happens, though, we'll go through it knowing it happened AFTER WE QUIT.

If you need one more set of digits to text with, buddy just say the word! Just keep posting that promise and keep your word. Like Zombo said, everything else is gravy.
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Offline Zombo Funk

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2021, 08:07:33 AM »
Day 21,

What a dumb (Reading my day 9). Smelled some Copenhagen mint yesterday, not sure where they get off on calling it mint, smelled like ass. And yet I liked the smell of cigars before and after. Weird?

Cinnamon mints I find the most helpful. The fake stuff reminds me too much. Some of its close in flavor, some is close in look, some is close in texture, nothing will ever match up. That's fine, if it works for you and doesn't have nicotine, go for it. Hell I may carry a fake can around with me for a while just in-case, because its better than the alternative.

Currently dealing with some teeth problems. Oral Surgeon removing 3 wisdom teeth (1 cracked on Fathers Day, 1 could be kept, and 1 with a cavity starting) in early September. Will be back to the dentist to see what other issues I need to deal with until money runs out (no health insurance at work...). I can't say I blame much on nicotine or tobacco, I was the dumbass that would throw a lip in first thing then decide I didn't need to brush in the morning because I hadn't gotten enough out of it yet. To some degree sure, I'm sure tobacco caused my gums to recede a bit, but I also chose to keep throwing a dip in the same spot. Fuck half my anxiety is not knowing how much I've fucked my teeth. The other half is normal (I've always hated going to the dentist).

In quitting, I post roll as soon as I wake up, then I piss and brush my teeth, etc etc go to work (checking my group at work if in service), then posting in a couple of the "old" (do you prefer seasoned?) groups when I get home through the evening (maybe more reinforcement, not sure), doesn't feel right to post in groups in under 100 days (with myself at 21 days).

Dunno. Could probably ramble more....

...

Sorry to everyone who's exchanged #'s with me, not sure what to text back sometimes and other times I look and forget to get back. Will try to be better.

Keep it going! The only thing that really truly matters is that you stay quit. Everything else is gravy.

Offline zav3nd

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2021, 10:27:29 PM »
Day 21,

What a dumb (Reading my day 9). Smelled some Copenhagen mint yesterday, not sure where they get off on calling it mint, smelled like ass. And yet I liked the smell of cigars before and after. Weird?

Cinnamon mints I find the most helpful. The fake stuff reminds me too much. Some of its close in flavor, some is close in look, some is close in texture, nothing will ever match up. That's fine, if it works for you and doesn't have nicotine, go for it. Hell I may carry a fake can around with me for a while just in-case, because its better than the alternative.

Currently dealing with some teeth problems. Oral Surgeon removing 3 wisdom teeth (1 cracked on Fathers Day, 1 could be kept, and 1 with a cavity starting) in early September. Will be back to the dentist to see what other issues I need to deal with until money runs out (no health insurance at work...). I can't say I blame much on nicotine or tobacco, I was the dumbass that would throw a lip in first thing then decide I didn't need to brush in the morning because I hadn't gotten enough out of it yet. To some degree sure, I'm sure tobacco caused my gums to recede a bit, but I also chose to keep throwing a dip in the same spot. Fuck half my anxiety is not knowing how much I've fucked my teeth. The other half is normal (I've always hated going to the dentist).

In quitting, I post roll as soon as I wake up, then I piss and brush my teeth, etc etc go to work (checking my group at work if in service), then posting in a couple of the "old" (do you prefer seasoned?) groups when I get home through the evening (maybe more reinforcement, not sure), doesn't feel right to post in groups in under 100 days (with myself at 21 days).

Dunno. Could probably ramble more....

...

Sorry to everyone who's exchanged #'s with me, not sure what to text back sometimes and other times I look and forget to get back. Will try to be better.

Offline 69franx

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2021, 12:41:01 AM »
@69franx thanks, I picked up a few with the code. Variety pack of pouches and longcut. I was always copenhagen longcut mint before, but on the fake side the longcut doesn't feel right, other than being able to pack more in than with pouches. Nothing I've tried really makes much spit. Which is weird to want because that was what I tried to be most subtle about in trying to hide it...

Stupid pickle I guess..

I assume the toothpicks you soaked yourself?
It's easy enough to soak your own but I think I buy about 400 at a time from Amazoon for like $7, hard to argue with that. With the Jakes, you will work up enough to spit if you so choose but there is no need to spit it out. That will be up to you. They got me through several hundred days and I have gone back and pre-ordered more from Jakes several times even in my last 500 days. 1,441 PTQWYAT and ABQTPFC
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Offline zav3nd

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2021, 12:28:44 AM »
@69franx thanks, I picked up a few with the code. Variety pack of pouches and longcut. I was always copenhagen longcut mint before, but on the fake side the longcut doesn't feel right, other than being able to pack more in than with pouches. Nothing I've tried really makes much spit. Which is weird to want because that was what I tried to be most subtle about in trying to hide it...

Stupid pickle I guess..

I assume the toothpicks you soaked yourself?

Offline 69franx

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2021, 01:24:04 PM »
@zav3nd , right now, code "raspberry" will get you 10% off at Jakesmintchew.com
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Offline 69franx

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2021, 10:54:04 AM »
@zav3nd , I was a huge fan of Jake's Mint Pouches as my fake. Lots of flavors to choose from, but I settled on Cinnamon. I had been a Grizzly wintergreen pouch user, so the pouches ave the same feeling. The cinnamon was a completely different flavor but had a very similar burn. Tough to find anywhere on the street, but easy to order from their website. From there I went to toothpicks soaked in cinnamon oil. Anything you use that doesnt have nicotine in it is better than giving in and packing another lip. Stay strong, stay quit. ABQTPFC
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Offline zav3nd

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2021, 01:08:36 AM »
Nic-Free= 191 Days with you Zach! Shits tough man no doubt. Stick to the plan and reach out. Posting roll is only 1/4 of the gold ticket you receive here. you have now read alot around the site- HOFs, Intros, as well as other areas. You have also now posted roll with a group. Guess what! you only 1/2 in!! to really make this stick brother it takes 1) WUPPing( Wake Up Piss Post) the pure purpose of this is because you never skipped packing your lip in the morning so now you are programming your brain and replacing dip with your promise. 2) being active, Ask questions, Talk with your group, Rage at us not your family and friends, hit up the wildcard keep your mind off it. and 3) last but not least and the most important tool you will have here is get Digits. The more numbers you have the more you are held accountable, this creates a brotherhood, its also in my opinion creates dip dreams because you don't want to let your team down. When people can be honest and get on your ass for slacking it inspires you to push through the shitty day you may be having and make it through ODAAT. Build your Quit line as long and as high as you can. Your Success is truly dependent on you! Wanna be Nicotine free, hopefully skip out on the cost and pain of cancer? Than invest brother man. Im here and quit with you! Drink lots of water friend and i would suggest picking up magnesium vitamins to help aid in those sleepless nights you may be having. Exercise to help break up some of that fog, dopaime is a huge help.

LTBE -Nick

Mg vitamins - were you taking daily? I'm looking into it. I didn't sleep much before but its reduced after quitting, and have been waking up every hour or two for the past couple days.


Offline zav3nd

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2021, 01:05:02 AM »
I started right around 20 years old, offered by friends in college, said no (probably went on a couple times). Eventually had some time to burn while waiting for brothers stopped at gas station and wound up with grizzly pouches. First one didn't last long and I remember saying this is fucking dumb why would anyone put this in their mouth, how can it be addictive, got a little dizzy too. For whatever reason later that day I snuck away (to the outskirts of 7 acres) to toss another one in without a time limit to stare at the sky and figure out what it was about. The first one probably had me, the second backed it up, after that I can't remember what happened with the rest of the pouches.

It didn't take long, I moved through the flavors; straight, wintergreen, then finally mint (copenhagen, grizzly started it but didn't stick around). I swapped flavors when I threw up or came close to throwing up with them, and reaching that point I couldn't ever use the flavor again. For some reason mint when it came out didn't seem to ever get to throwing up, so never had to switch from that (thinking at-least 5 years, maybe longer). (Gutted when I couldn't do anything else, tried to use an opaque bottle etc when possible). I'd pick up wintergreen if mint wasn't available and managed for a couple dips. Straight was untouchable.

Anyway I'm 29, will be 30 towards the end of September. Had a half year break in 2017, and known I needed to quit again since then. Not sure where that went (I have the excuses but fuck those). I can't even really say what got me started this time... I know during my 2017 break I had set the date to my birthday. I'd been thinking about cutting down on Copenhagen for a while... if I can just save a pinch or two a week, I wont have to buy a can a day; and thinking I could ever get back to 1-2 cans a week. There isn't any going backwards, when you feed yourself a can a day the only way you're doing less than that is you're sleeping for 3 /4th the day.

You will never cut back, don't fucking bother. I could've told you that 5 years ago, but 4 years ago I decided one more wouldn't hurt, I could do a couple every now and then. I don't think it was even a week before I getting way beyond my old usage. I guess to keep you from leaving again nicotine gets you to double your usage (or maybe your (my) addict self decided to double the dosage). Oh you know, 4 years ago I was bored in a hotel room, or maybe I was too stressed trying to deal with classes 5 states away while working for the university I was going to, or my boss was getting to me after 4 days being around him most of the waking hours. All bullshit excuses, why after 170 days?

Be better than me, I didn't have a network. The first person I said "nah sorry i'm quitting, don't have any" was a coworker that would grab a pinch once a week or so. And the bad thing is the first time he asked I was ~25 and told him no initially because I didn't want to be the asshole giving access. So I knew I should be done well before then. And still went back 4 years ago, and told myself "I'll quit after this trip". Technically yes, me being here now is "after" but my past self can fuck off. Why didn't I write "I'll quit tomorrow", or "I'll quit on x day (after trip)" because a tiny dip in the lip and almost throwing up from the smell and taste had me fully back in the loop after half a year.


Don't throw it away like I did. Build a group around you. Tell everyone you know.


I hid everything in the past, and was pretty good at it like most of us. I got called out a few times, and just learned to hide it better. My dad called me on it once, then ignored it (I'm sure he noticed)... last time I could never bring myself to tell any of my family, or admit it. I've told my brother that I've quit. Will tell my dad next, something I would've never admitted to in the past. They'll be the first to call me on any bullshit, and I should've mentioned it the first time around, but I was afraid of too much bitching driving me to go find a can of shit.

So don't be me, do it sooner, do it the first time, or never fucking start packing shit in your lip.


----


Day 9 (7.9.21) - [Day 9 because time of day isn't counted on ktc]

Some cravings in the morning, and not really sleeping great (waking up every couple hours). Posted roll couldn't think of any comment to add this morning, hopefully that's ok.

Tried several of the fake chews over this week. Not trying to do a full review but: (all nicotine free since some offer different versions I guess?)
Smokey Mountain - Wintergreen hit the flavor. But not a great fan of wintergreen.
Fully Loaded - Mint & Wintergreen are pretty close to texture but lacking the flavor. Tastes just slightly more than paper.
Bacoff - Mint pretty close in texture. Tastes like paper.
TeaZa (pouches) - Some variety pack... pretty decent flavor that shows tea the longer its in. Probably my favorite so far.
dryv (pouches) mint : Not terrible but seems like cheap coffee taste comes through well before the mint. works in a pinch. Biggest problem being all the loose grains on pouches, like one broke open.
Also throwing in cinnamon Altoids, which are probably actually the cheapest option. But they make me want a toothbrush right away

Online nick-Otine Free

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2021, 08:53:54 AM »
Nic-Free= 191 Days with you Zach! Shits tough man no doubt. Stick to the plan and reach out. Posting roll is only 1/4 of the gold ticket you receive here. you have now read alot around the site- HOFs, Intros, as well as other areas. You have also now posted roll with a group. Guess what! you only 1/2 in!! to really make this stick brother it takes 1) WUPPing( Wake Up Piss Post) the pure purpose of this is because you never skipped packing your lip in the morning so now you are programming your brain and replacing dip with your promise. 2) being active, Ask questions, Talk with your group, Rage at us not your family and friends, hit up the wildcard keep your mind off it. and 3) last but not least and the most important tool you will have here is get Digits. The more numbers you have the more you are held accountable, this creates a brotherhood, its also in my opinion creates dip dreams because you don't want to let your team down. When people can be honest and get on your ass for slacking it inspires you to push through the shitty day you may be having and make it through ODAAT. Build your Quit line as long and as high as you can. Your Success is truly dependent on you! Wanna be Nicotine free, hopefully skip out on the cost and pain of cancer? Than invest brother man. Im here and quit with you! Drink lots of water friend and i would suggest picking up magnesium vitamins to help aid in those sleepless nights you may be having. Exercise to help break up some of that fog, dopaime is a huge help.

LTBE -Nick

« Last Edit: July 08, 2021, 08:56:38 AM by nick-Otine Free »
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Offline Keith0617

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2021, 08:45:18 AM »
I wont go back.

-Zach

Welcome Zach!  Not to diminish the rest of your post but how do you know you won't go back?  We quit here one day at a time, every damn day.  If you want to join us I think you can start posting roll in the September 2021 quit group.

I quit with you today!  Stranger999 day 2,133

I posted roll in Oct 2021, I think that's correct?

"I wont go back." was more for me than anything else. I've always stuck to what I say; that means jack shit to anyone until you prove it... there's little chance I "prove it" to anyone. One day at a time until then...
You posted correctly in October. However, today is day 8 for you. KTC doesn't have a day zero. Wake up and post you promise first thing everyday to stay nicotine free and then keep your word. Also suggest you connect with some fellow quitters. Those connections will pay huge dividends. Exchanging digits is normal but only through personal messages.
Jan19

Offline zav3nd

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2021, 12:41:00 AM »
I wont go back.

-Zach

Welcome Zach!  Not to diminish the rest of your post but how do you know you won't go back?  We quit here one day at a time, every damn day.  If you want to join us I think you can start posting roll in the September 2021 quit group.

I quit with you today!  Stranger999 day 2,133

I posted roll in Oct 2021, I think that's correct?

"I wont go back." was more for me than anything else. I've always stuck to what I say; that means jack shit to anyone until you prove it... there's little chance I "prove it" to anyone. One day at a time until then...


Offline Stranger999

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Re: Day #X
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2021, 12:04:31 AM »
I wont go back.

-Zach

Welcome Zach!  Not to diminish the rest of your post but how do you know you won't go back?  We quit here one day at a time, every damn day.  If you want to join us I think you can start posting roll in the September 2021 quit group.

I quit with you today!  Stranger999 day 2,133

Offline zav3nd

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Day #X
« on: July 07, 2021, 10:43:56 PM »
Hey,

Quit on July 2nd, 2021. (Or July 1st at ~6pm, but I'm lazy and need easy counting). So 6 days today.

I've taken 1 break before, I'm going to include that for myself, and anybody in the future. All the old intros and hof's helped me the first time, but I never signed up for the full experience. I've always been an introvert, I've learned to "fake it until I make it", but even today try not to put it out there so...

--
1st Break (Sep 28, 2017-March 16, 2018) - As a Lurker/Guest only
I've taken a break before, and lurked here before during that time, it helped a lot to read what everyone else was going through or had gone through, and I stopped for about 6months. I remember having a hell of a fog. For the first while.

In journal date:
2017.09.30
I wrote "...it feels like I've had a beer or two (mentally), but no physical effect. It seems quieter and less agitated..."

2017.10.28
"Day 30... Internal war to tell myself to fuckoff. I only wish my brain could focus..." and mention being done with Altoids.

2017.11.22
"Been thinking about my first dip... picked up a can of grizzly natural pouches while waiting for brothers... made me dizzy as hell, and then sick. Pretty sure i on convinced myself by claiming it was an experiment, no way tobacco was that addictive. ... Weeks wen ton and it was because I needed more data for my experiment." I have an aunt that smoked that I used to bug to quit smoking because it can't be hard, just do x or y (internet advised ecigs at the time or something.. probably right at the start of them), that wasn't exactly the first time... that happened later in college. This was the last mention of quitting in 2017.

2018.03.16
"Welp today I bought a can of Copenhagen... 170 days w/o nicotine. I will quit after this trip. Stupid how easy that first pinch was to put in..." Yeah I didn't quit after that trip... What a dumbass. The second 'first dip' is what I remember more than the original. I was at a competition for college, went a few days before everyone else because I was part time employed by the college. May have contributed slightly going from a room to myself to sharing a room, not really sure I didn't write too much. I do remember immediately feeling sick on opening the 1st can back, thinking how the fuck can I put this in my mouth? Closed the can. Then for whatever reason opened it threw one in again, maybe thinking it'd be the best thing in the world like I've always dreamed, felt sick like a virgin all over again, came close to throwing up. Almost threw the can away, but it felt so natural to pocket it.
--

2021.07.07

Day 6 - zav3nd.

No nicotine again, today. It doesn't seem as bad as I recall, maybe I've gone through it before. Maybe because I'm not over the phone mostly I'm not as angry. I know last time I felt like I was always being an asshole to anybody. This time there have been a couple times I've been heated but it doesn't seem to register on either side. Today was mostly fine, I dipped all the time, most of the time a dip came out, one went right back in. I was a 98% of a can a day, one or two micropinches left over usually to get me by in the morning. My usage increased immediately and drastically after that 2nd "first pinch" back in 2018, cans used to last me a week, then a couple days.

Triggers at this point seem pointless to outline for me: wake up, got to work, 1st job @ work, driving to next job, 2nd job @ work, driving to 3rd job, etc. drive home....

My story has probably been here before, and will be here again. I'm an addict (idiot too probably since I couldn't stay stopped). Reading through my old writings (and duplicated the 'meat' here so maybe others have somewhat of a timeline). I realize either I haven't reached my fog or this time is different. Either way last time I didn't stick to it, so I can't count on this time being anything different.

--

I wont go back.

-Zach