KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: koba on May 09, 2018, 07:53:00 PM
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I figured I'd post an introduction, since today was the first day that I posted roll in the August 18 Pre-HOF Group (apparently we're The Butt Chuggin', Tide Pod Eatin', Rubber Snortin' Window Lickers: The Next Generation. If that's not a crazy name, I don't know what is). Dipped for ~8 years, starting when I was in high school. It was pretty prevalent, especially among the athletes. In the coming years, it became a crutch. I was up to a can/can and a half per day, until today.
I'm here because I'm tired of all the things that come along with dipping. The wasted hours out of my day, the money spent on feeding my addiction, the strain my habit placed on my personal relationships, the constant health worries, the screwed up sleep schedule---I'm tired of all of the bullshit. I'm tired of placing so much time and effort and mental energy into a substance that has nothing but a negative impact in my life. But most of all, I'm fucking tired of being anything less than my best self because I couldn't sack up and do what needs to be done. So from here on out, I'm doing the damn thing. I'm excited to be here, and excited to take my first steps towards better living, one day at a time.
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Welcome koba! Glad you ate a part of August 18. We quit one day at a time and we hold each other accountable. My digits will be in your PM shortly.
Keep on quittin on!
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Good intro, glad I can quit with you today!
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Awesome intro Koba. Great decision to quit now. Wish I had been able or willing to quit 1 year, or 5 years, or ten years or even 20 years sooner than I did. Get to know the site. Get involved. Get to know your quit group by name. Make this place a meeting place, not just a place you post a number and disappear for 24 hours. Ask questions, vent, post your victories, etc. PM with digits coming your way, check your inbox, upper right hand corner.
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Nice intro. Welcome. Proud to quit with you.
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Day 7 today! Great to be one week in. Still feeling a bit foggy, but a lot better than days 1-3; I'd say I'm currently at like 80% brainpower instead of 50%. The mood swings have been pretty crazy, but I'm actually feeling pretty good otherwise.
The core concept of "post every day, and focus on that day" is a really good one for me. One of the most intimidating parts of quitting is the notion that I am permanently rejecting a substance I have used to regulate my mood, alertness, etc. for nearly 8 years. In that sense, it can be easy to feel like I am giving up some measure of control over my life. But in reality, I am regaining the freedom to be my fullest self. It is only by mastering our desires that we become truly free to choose that which is good. This is what we do each morning on KTC---we choose to live that day without being enslaved to a vice which is deeply harmful to us, without orienting ourselves around the indulgence of an addiction. And while it is hard to think about "quitting for the rest of my life", it is reassuring in many ways to think about "quitting for today, and promising to quit when I wake up tomorrow".
Big thanks to all my fellow window-lickers, and the vets giving back by supporting us---here's looking forward to week 2.
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Day 7 today! Great to be one week in. Still feeling a bit foggy, but a lot better than days 1-3; I'd say I'm currently at like 80% brainpower instead of 50%. The mood swings have been pretty crazy, but I'm actually feeling pretty good otherwise.
The core concept of "post every day, and focus on that day" is a really good one for me. One of the most intimidating parts of quitting is the notion that I am permanently rejecting a substance I have used to regulate my mood, alertness, etc. for nearly 8 years. In that sense, it can be easy to feel like I am giving up some measure of control over my life. But in reality, I am regaining the freedom to be my fullest self. It is only by mastering our desires that we become truly free to choose that which is good. This is what we do each morning on KTC---we choose to live that day without being enslaved to a vice which is deeply harmful to us, without orienting ourselves around the indulgence of an addiction. And while it is hard to think about "quitting for the rest of my life", it is reassuring in many ways to think about "quitting for today, and promising to quit when I wake up tomorrow".
Big thanks to all my fellow window-lickers, and the vets giving back by supporting us---here's looking forward to week 2.
A week is a monumental milestone. Wish I had a nickel for the guys that fall by the wayside after posting a day 1 (we use their corpses to grease the tracks of our quit tanks).
Great job brother. You are wise indeed to recognize that you're dealing with an addiction. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power, ignorance is terribly expensive.
Stay quit! See you in the hall...
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Day 14---two weeks down! Feeling a lot better, still some fog (usually in the afternoon) and trouble sleeping, although it can be hard to tell what exactly is from dip and what is just part of the natural rhythm of life. Either way, there has been a definite overall improvement in how my mind and body feel. Now that I have gotten through the "acute" part of withdrawals, my biggest goal is to find constructive habits to build in order to replace/rewire the triggers that I had for dipping. I used to come home, go straight to the bathroom, and poison myself with nicotine. Now, I make a cup of tea or coffee and read a book at the kitchen table for an hour. Similarly, I now spend my lunch break talking to my colleagues and having great conversation. I have also changed my route to work to avoid the gas station where I used to buy tobacco.
Looking ahead, I think that keeping the benefits of quitting in mind will be important---it is easy for the addict brain to say "dip wasn't really that bad for you." I am planning to make a list of all the improvements I've seen, so that I can reference it in any more difficult moments. Using KTC has definitely helped me keep my eye on the prize, and I've enjoyed getting to know some of the guys in my quit group (and some of the vets) a little better. The bus doors will be closing in just a couple days, so hopefully our group can come together little more when we don't have a bunch of people drifting in and out of the group or posting and caving several times in a row. Week 3 here I come!
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Day 14---two weeks down! Feeling a lot better, still some fog (usually in the afternoon) and trouble sleeping, although it can be hard to tell what exactly is from dip and what is just part of the natural rhythm of life. Either way, there has been a definite overall improvement in how my mind and body feel. Now that I have gotten through the "acute" part of withdrawals, my biggest goal is to find constructive habits to build in order to replace/rewire the triggers that I had for dipping. I used to come home, go straight to the bathroom, and poison myself with nicotine. Now, I make a cup of tea or coffee and read a book at the kitchen table for an hour. Similarly, I now spend my lunch break talking to my colleagues and having great conversation. I have also changed my route to work to avoid the gas station where I used to buy tobacco.
Looking ahead, I think that keeping the benefits of quitting in mind will be important---it is easy for the addict brain to say "dip wasn't really that bad for you." I am planning to make a list of all the improvements I've seen, so that I can reference it in any more difficult moments. Using KTC has definitely helped me keep my eye on the prize, and I've enjoyed getting to know some of the guys in my quit group (and some of the vets) a little better. The bus doors will be closing in just a couple days, so hopefully our group can come together little more when we don't have a bunch of people drifting in and out of the group or posting and caving several times in a row. Week 3 here I come!
Another monumental milestone. Something so powerful and contagious about winning. Everyone wants to stand next to the winner.
They want to know his name, they want him to know theirs. They want to be seen with them, as if it imparts victory by close association! Maybe it does!
I'm calling it now - KOBA GOES ON TO HOF AND BEYOND!
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You've got a really good thing going here, koba. Keep it up. There are things in your life that will continue to improve and there are things you didn't even know were being affected by your addiction that will come back into your life. 2 weeks is bad ass, and it will keep getting better.
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Today is day 56 for me. I feel like I've come a long way since I first started. I remember the first week of quitting, where the fog and rage was so bad that I couldn't do anything other than repeatedly hit "refresh" on the KTC page and inhale food. I feel so much better overall, not just from when I was having withdrawals from nicotine, but from when I used to go through a can or more every day. My mouth feels better, I'm sleeping better, my mind is clearer, and life is good. I know that there are still more challenges to come (several vets have warned me about the funk), but I'm looking forward to overcoming them.
One of the best parts of my quit has been the motivation it has given me to improve other parts of my life. For so long, I felt like I was just stuck in this cycle of bad habits. I'd try to work on one thing, and all the others would get worse. It was like banging my head against a wall, trying to figure out what needed to change. Well, I might not have wanted to admit it at that point in time, but it turns out it was the nic bitch. I feel like I've been able to use my quit as a springboard for so many other changes in my life--I'm eating clean and losing weight, I'm back in the gym, I'm getting shit done at work and at home, I quit looking at porn and jerking off, I'm working on a consistent sleep schedule, and more. Shit's been great. Much love to all of the Hot August Knights, and to all of the veterans who have been supporting us all this time--I'm glad to be quit with y'all today.
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I'm not coaching football this year due to other committments, but got roped into helping film endzone at a scrimmage tonight. Felt good to make it through tobacco-free; enjoyed my seeds instead. I was disappointed to not be able to coach FB this year, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise--it would definitely be a pretty trying situation. Glad to be HOF, glad to be quit, and glad to be on the road to 200.
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I know I'm late, but congrats on that HOF brother. Keep up the good work.
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Congrats on day 400, brother!
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Congrats on day 400, brother!
Hell yeah, man! 400 days of freedom! Damn proud to be quit with you today!
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Congrats on day 400, brother!
Hell yeah, man! 400 days of freedom! Damn proud to be quit with you today!
Well done Sir!!!
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Congrats on day 400, brother!
Hell yeah, man! 400 days of freedom! Damn proud to be quit with you today!
Well done Sir!!!
400 days! 400 days of freedom!
And it just keeps getting better.
Congrats brother!
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Thanks for all the kind words guys. Proud to be here and be quit with you!
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Thanks for all the kind words guys. Proud to be here and be quit with you!
I remember the pre-HOF road trip with your brother coming up and talking about it. Then there was the most awesome meetup in Texas. Looking forward to the next one Big Jon! Love that you are no longer a slave but a free man and an example to all your charges!
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Anyone seen Hundy? I heard Koba ate him. That's right, Koba ate Hundy!
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Anyone seen Hundy? I heard Koba ate him. That's right, Koba ate Hundy!
Congrats brother