KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: luby on July 19, 2011, 12:28:00 PM
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Hello everyone my name is Luby and I have used skoal mint for as long as I can remember.
I have quit dozens of times yet here I am on day 4 in roll call. My wife thinks I quit years ago and I've been hiding it ever since, same with my family and close friends. My work friends all chew, so I would just go at it at work, here's the thing not even they knew how MUCH i was chewing. Think there is a word for someone that behaves this way. Think the word is addict. Really hate the fact that word applies to me but it does.
I am an addict.
So why is this quit different? One simple reason. This is gonna be different because of YOU. That's right you, if you are reading this I am going to rely on you, and you can rely on me. If you are reading this I am going to use you, and when I have a bad day or a craving you are going to get sick of me, and I expect the same out of you.
It was a tough decision to come onto this sight. It meant admitting I am an addict, and making a commitment to people who are living it every day. Well now that I am here, 4 days in, I am going for it.
Thanks to all you for being here.
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Hello everyone my name is Luby and I have used skoal mint for as long as I can remember.
I have quit dozens of times yet here I am on day 4 in roll call. My wife thinks I quit years ago and I've been hiding it ever since, same with my family and close friends. My work friends all chew, so I would just go at it at work, here's the thing not even they knew how MUCH i was chewing. Think there is a word for someone that behaves this way. Think the word is addict. Really hate the fact that word applies to me but it does.
I am an addict.
So why is this quit different? One simple reason. This is gonna be different because of YOU. That's right you, if you are reading this I am going to rely on you, and you can rely on me. If you are reading this I am going to use you, and when I have a bad day or a craving you are going to get sick of me, and I expect the same out of you.
It was a tough decision to come onto this sight. It meant admitting I am an addict, and making a commitment to people who are living it every day. Well now that I am here, 4 days in, I am going for it.
Thanks to all you for being here.
Welcome to the party, Luby. I'm glad to be here with you today. Email me anytime jmiah717@yahoo.com (http://mailto:jmiah717@yahoo.com).
I'm on day 5 so I'm right there with you. I was Skoal Mint's bitch for a long time too. Not today though.
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Welcome Luby. I'm glad to hear you are making the decision to save your life. I'm glad to hear you understand and are willing to accept the label addict - don't think you are going to be judged negatively here with that label. Its one of acceptance. Good for you.
I'm guessing if you are on day 4 you have an idea of the flow here. I'm more than willing to hold your hand through the suck. Shit you can call me and we can trash the nic bitch all night brother. I've got hate for that liar. As much as I can talk to you through the worst of shit (tragedy, stress, anxiety) it is still going to take your WORD to put up the final defense. You got to want it more than I want it for you. Unless we're neighbors and you don't mind me coming over and lashing you to the bed posts until you are in a stable place along the quit path, its going to take the strength of your word bro. But I'm always willing to try to help. Pretty much 24/7. As are others.
Read everything. Post everyday. Get your ass involved. Reach out before things get bad. Welcome.
-Soul
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Welcome Luby and congratulations on taking your life back. I spent HOURS on this site reading in the beginning (I still spend hours... but not Capital HOURS).
One thing I noticed in your intro that you need to be careful of... Your wife thinks you quit already. Your family and friends think you quit already. That's not great - but I'm not going to judge. I've done that myself.
But what I will tell you is that you need somebody in your PERSONAL life - not co-workers, not us lunatics on here... someone in your personal life that knows you are on day 4. Because when you hit day 50 or day 100 or day 1,000 - it won't be enough to post here. You'll want to tell somebody you love because those milestones are accomplishments that you WILL be proud of and that you will want your loved ones to be proud of you for.
My advice - tell your wife. get the fight over with now about the lying (it probably isn't the first time when it comes to the nic bitch). Then get her in your corner. Get her on the spousal support section. Get her invested in your quit - because when she's invested, your quit gets stronger. My wife is the strongest thing in my quit. You should consider the importance of your wife in your quit.
Good luck - if you need anything PM me.
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Welcome Luby and congratulations on taking your life back. I spent HOURS on this site reading in the beginning (I still spend hours... but not Capital HOURS).
One thing I noticed in your intro that you need to be careful of... Your wife thinks you quit already. Your family and friends think you quit already. That's not great - but I'm not going to judge. I've done that myself.
But what I will tell you is that you need somebody in your PERSONAL life - not co-workers, not us lunatics on here... someone in your personal life that knows you are on day 4. Because when you hit day 50 or day 100 or day 1,000 - it won't be enough to post here. You'll want to tell somebody you love because those milestones are accomplishments that you WILL be proud of and that you will want your loved ones to be proud of you for.
My advice - tell your wife. get the fight over with now about the lying (it probably isn't the first time when it comes to the nic bitch). Then get her in your corner. Get her on the spousal support section. Get her invested in your quit - because when she's invested, your quit gets stronger. My wife is the strongest thing in my quit. You should consider the importance of your wife in your quit.
Good luck - if you need anything PM me.
good post per.
luby, if you're wife is anything like mine... she knows already. she may be keeping it from herself, but she really knows why you're taking 60 min shits and staying up late. we're really not all that clever, us addicts.
definitely tell your wife. might be a rough convo, but she'll be happy you were honest with her, and she'll be a valuable tool in your quit arsenal.
it's good to be quit with you. PM me if you ever need anything, and if you want my number let me know.
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Welcome Luby and congratulations on taking your life back. I spent HOURS on this site reading in the beginning (I still spend hours... but not Capital HOURS).
One thing I noticed in your intro that you need to be careful of... Your wife thinks you quit already. Your family and friends think you quit already. That's not great - but I'm not going to judge. I've done that myself.
But what I will tell you is that you need somebody in your PERSONAL life - not co-workers, not us lunatics on here... someone in your personal life that knows you are on day 4. Because when you hit day 50 or day 100 or day 1,000 - it won't be enough to post here. You'll want to tell somebody you love because those milestones are accomplishments that you WILL be proud of and that you will want your loved ones to be proud of you for.
My advice - tell your wife. get the fight over with now about the lying (it probably isn't the first time when it comes to the nic bitch). Then get her in your corner. Get her on the spousal support section. Get her invested in your quit - because when she's invested, your quit gets stronger. My wife is the strongest thing in my quit. You should consider the importance of your wife in your quit.
Good luck - if you need anything PM me.
Yea Bro be honest with the wife. This is a addiction and your gonna need her to be there for you.
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Welcome Luby and congratulations on taking your life back. I spent HOURS on this site reading in the beginning (I still spend hours... but not Capital HOURS).
One thing I noticed in your intro that you need to be careful of... Your wife thinks you quit already. Your family and friends think you quit already. That's not great - but I'm not going to judge. I've done that myself.
But what I will tell you is that you need somebody in your PERSONAL life - not co-workers, not us lunatics on here... someone in your personal life that knows you are on day 4. Because when you hit day 50 or day 100 or day 1,000 - it won't be enough to post here. You'll want to tell somebody you love because those milestones are accomplishments that you WILL be proud of and that you will want your loved ones to be proud of you for.
My advice - tell your wife. get the fight over with now about the lying (it probably isn't the first time when it comes to the nic bitch). Then get her in your corner. Get her on the spousal support section. Get her invested in your quit - because when she's invested, your quit gets stronger. My wife is the strongest thing in my quit. You should consider the importance of your wife in your quit.
Good luck - if you need anything PM me.
good post per.
luby, if you're wife is anything like mine... she knows already. she may be keeping it from herself, but she really knows why you're taking 60 min shits and staying up late. we're really not all that clever, us addicts.
definitely tell your wife. might be a rough convo, but she'll be happy you were honest with her, and she'll be a valuable tool in your quit arsenal.
it's good to be quit with you. PM me if you ever need anything, and if you want my number let me know.
Ditto. I was in your shoes, bro. Exact same situation. Found this site, fought some tough times, and FINALLY told my wife somewhere around day 50. Should have clued her in earlier. Hopefully yours will help as much as mine did. It can be a great help, and the spouse section will help her. Honestly, they have no idea what we are dealing with. My wife was brainwashed by our society calling nicotine a "habit". When she realized it was a real addiction, her whole attitude changed. Positive support, assistance with the kids when I had to walk away due to a raging fit, etc. I've said it many times here, but it is something I believe whole heartedly. Hell, my wife even got me an awesome gift when I hit HOF.
Just in case you haven't found it: Spouse's Section (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp)
Let me know if you need anything else.
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Welcome Luby and congratulations on taking your life back. I spent HOURS on this site reading in the beginning (I still spend hours... but not Capital HOURS).
One thing I noticed in your intro that you need to be careful of... Your wife thinks you quit already. Your family and friends think you quit already. That's not great - but I'm not going to judge. I've done that myself.
But what I will tell you is that you need somebody in your PERSONAL life - not co-workers, not us lunatics on here... someone in your personal life that knows you are on day 4. Because when you hit day 50 or day 100 or day 1,000 - it won't be enough to post here. You'll want to tell somebody you love because those milestones are accomplishments that you WILL be proud of and that you will want your loved ones to be proud of you for.
My advice - tell your wife. get the fight over with now about the lying (it probably isn't the first time when it comes to the nic bitch). Then get her in your corner. Get her on the spousal support section. Get her invested in your quit - because when she's invested, your quit gets stronger. My wife is the strongest thing in my quit. You should consider the importance of your wife in your quit.
Good luck - if you need anything PM me.
good post per.
luby, if you're wife is anything like mine... she knows already. she may be keeping it from herself, but she really knows why you're taking 60 min shits and staying up late. we're really not all that clever, us addicts.
definitely tell your wife. might be a rough convo, but she'll be happy you were honest with her, and she'll be a valuable tool in your quit arsenal.
it's good to be quit with you. PM me if you ever need anything, and if you want my number let me know.
Ditto. I was in your shoes, bro. Exact same situation. Found this site, fought some tough times, and FINALLY told my wife somewhere around day 50. Should have clued her in earlier. Hopefully yours will help as much as mine did. It can be a great help, and the spouse section will help her. Honestly, they have no idea what we are dealing with. My wife was brainwashed by our society calling nicotine a "habit". When she realized it was a real addiction, her whole attitude changed. Positive support, assistance with the kids when I had to walk away due to a raging fit, etc. I've said it many times here, but it is something I believe whole heartedly. Hell, my wife even got me an awesome gift when I hit HOF.
Just in case you haven't found it: Spouse's Section (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp)
Let me know if you need anything else.
I used to tell my wife I quit all the time, but really I was doing the same thing you guys are talking about: 60 min. shits, getting about 4 hours of sleep, sneaking out to the car to grab my can while the wife is in the shower.
I don't necessarily agree with some of the comments. Who cares if your parents don't know you are still using? It is only about you and your desire to quit. Talk to you wife so she can be there to support. Explain to her it is an addiction and you finally realize that. I finally did that a few months ago and it actually led me to quitting a couple days back.
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Quick update and reply. I know I need to talk to my wife, it's on the plate. Not looking forward to admitting how much I've lied to her, it is gonna hurt her and I'm gonna be crushed with the guilt of my behavior. Also I agree I need her support, but what I need right now is to quit each day and focus on working on all the little bullshit that comes with my addiction. One day at a time.
I'm happy where I am today, and I'm gonna pledge to stay quit tomorrow. I don't seem to have too many physical or mental symptoms so far so I count that as a blessing.
Thanks for your advice and support, I'd be nowhere without this site and the good people on it.
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Quick update and reply. I know I need to talk to my wife, it's on the plate. Not looking forward to admitting how much I've lied to her, it is gonna hurt her and I'm gonna be crushed with the guilt of my behavior. Also I agree I need her support, but what I need right now is to quit each day and focus on working on all the little bullshit that comes with my addiction. One day at a time.
I'm happy where I am today, and I'm gonna pledge to stay quit tomorrow. I don't seem to have too many physical or mental symptoms so far so I count that as a blessing.
Thanks for your advice and support, I'd be nowhere without this site and the good people on it.
just keep in mind that each day that you delay talking to your wife about this is another day you've lied to her.
this is a cool fucking journey to freedom. let your wife hop on and enjoy the ride with you.
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talk to her. let her curse you out for the day. alot of these wives are smarter then we think. we all tell them we quit and they all know our fucking sneaky tricks we play.
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Try this:
" honey, I have an addiction and i need your help." Then go from there.
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Admit lying to your wife?
How about help strengthen your chances of ending your addiction and solidify a framework to assist you in maintaining that strength? That sounds better.
A GIGANTIC weight will be taken off your chest bro if you tell her the truth. It sucks but you are an addict. You know what you were doing was wrong. You know that you were killing yourself with poison everyday. It was your addiction, shame and guilt keeping you from being open about it. If you get a dialogue going with that woman your quit with be order of magnitudes safer. And the priority here is to save your life the best you/we can. Take a breath, grab your nut sack and tell that woman. Then get her in here to support you.
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Ok, this is me taking my medicine. I still haven't talked to my wife. Let me have it over that I've earned it.
I want her support, but I don't deserve it.
I want the freedom to lean on her, but I've got to earn it.
In a marriage I don't expect others to get our relationship but I am at 12 days.... I think I've got to prove to myself that I'm as tough as I need to be, then present that to her on a platter. Say to her "I've been dishonest, it's because I am an addict, here is how I am dealing with it, I hope you can forgive me"
I completely respect your advice, I want to follow it so bad it hurts, but I love my wife and I know her very well I have to handle this in a way that is best for her.... If it isn't best for me, that is too bad for me, I've lied to her and what is best for her is top priority.
Wish I was tough enough to quit and face a huge marital problem at the same time, I am not yet and I choose to stay quit.
I WILL come clean, I love my wife and owe her the truth.
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If your wife loves you she will forgive you. Don't start with "I've been lying and here's why"
Start with "I'm an addict and I need your help." Once you say those words, if she truly loves you, she will put every other emotion aside and focus solely on helping you. I've lied to my wife so many times about my tobacco use. But now she's on my side. She's forgiven me those failings becuase she knows that it wasn't out of disrespect for her. It was because of my addiction. I was trying to serve two women. My wife, who I love and respect; and the nic-bitch, who is a lying, thieving, heartless C. I could always aplogize to my wife and she would ultiamtely accept it.
The nic-bitch would never accept my apology and I needer her in my life just as much - until now. Until I admitted to myself that I had an addiction.
My wife will give up anything for me to be free of nicotine. Tell her you're an addict and you need her help - and that you need her to hear you out before she reacts. Explain why you lied. You lied because you didn't want to disappoint her. You lied because you thought you could quit - that you did quit and the can of tobacco in your pocket is the last one. You lied because you never truly realized the hold nicotine had on you and thought "I'm lying today, but tomorrow it won't be a lie anymore." Unfortunately, tomorrow never came. until now.
Tell her how much her support will mean to you to get through this.
Or - the other possibility is, you don't want to get caught lying to her again and you're not yet convinced that you're completely quit.
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You might be surprised. I was able to talk to my s.o. about this, finally a few days ago, and things went over so much better than I ever expected they would.
Just be open and honest. Tell her that you love her, and that beating this addiction and keeping it beat is so important to you, and so on and so fifth.
We all here for you!
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If your wife loves you she will forgive you. Don't start with "I've been lying and here's why"
Start with "I'm an addict and I need your help." Once you say those words, if she truly loves you, she will put every other emotion aside and focus solely on helping you. I've lied to my wife so many times about my tobacco use. But now she's on my side. She's forgiven me those failings becuase she knows that it wasn't out of disrespect for her. It was because of my addiction. I was trying to serve two women. My wife, who I love and respect; and the nic-bitch, who is a lying, thieving, heartless C. I could always aplogize to my wife and she would ultiamtely accept it.
The nic-bitch would never accept my apology and I needer her in my life just as much - until now. Until I admitted to myself that I had an addiction.
My wife will give up anything for me to be free of nicotine. Tell her you're an addict and you need her help - and that you need her to hear you out before she reacts. Explain why you lied. You lied because you didn't want to disappoint her. You lied because you thought you could quit - that you did quit and the can of tobacco in your pocket is the last one. You lied because you never truly realized the hold nicotine had on you and thought "I'm lying today, but tomorrow it won't be a lie anymore." Unfortunately, tomorrow never came. until now.
Tell her how much her support will mean to you to get through this.
Or - the other possibility is, you don't want to get caught lying to her again and you're not yet convinced that you're completely quit.
Very well said. All of it.
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Ok new subject, just for now. I had a good day today. I am a freelancer and work and dip have always gone hand in hand for me. So it was no accident that I chose to face my addiction when I was away from work for awhile. I have 14 days quit and I never had to work, I count myself very lucky to have had that luxury. That all changed today. My day started (after posting roll call of course) with a 5 hour drive by myself. I don't have to tell anyone in this community what a 5 hour drive by yourself means..... Huge trigger! I had a huge diet coke, a huge water, some jerky and some hard candy, for defense. Between enjoying those things, talking on the phone to some friends ( hands free of course) and singing along with Springsteen at the top of my lungs I had an enjoyable drive. Felt so free it was great.
At the end of that drive I got to work for 7 hours side by side with good friends who all dip. I told them all I was an addict and quit, but they can fell free to dip around me because this is my problem not theirs. I then told them that if they even think they see me ever coming close to caving they are are to immediately punch me in the face. They all seem quite excited to help me now! I also saw a little glimmer of curiosity and hope in their eyes, seeing me quit has em thinking. I pray I can be the example that gets them thinking about joining us here.
After that it was just 4 hours in a major league baseball dugout. Dipper city. I had some seeds some gum and some more water and just enjoyed my quit.
Now I sit here with a nice martini, I just wanted to share. I had to face a lot of triggers today. The tools I've learned here helped me face them and stay quit today.
Today was a good day.
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Ok new subject, just for now. I had a good day today. I am a freelancer and work and dip have always gone hand in hand for me. So it was no accident that I chose to face my addiction when I was away from work for awhile. I have 14 days quit and I never had to work, I count myself very lucky to have had that luxury. That all changed today. My day started (after posting roll call of course) with a 5 hour drive by myself. I don't have to tell anyone in this community what a 5 hour drive by yourself means..... Huge trigger! I had a huge diet coke, a huge water, some jerky and some hard candy, for defense. Between enjoying those things, talking on the phone to some friends ( hands free of course) and singing along with Springsteen at the top of my lungs I had an enjoyable drive. Felt so free it was great.
At the end of that drive I got to work for 7 hours side by side with good friends who all dip. I told them all I was an addict and quit, but they can fell free to dip around me because this is my problem not theirs. I then told them that if they even think they see me ever coming close to caving they are are to immediately punch me in the face. They all seem quite excited to help me now! I also saw a little glimmer of curiosity and hope in their eyes, seeing me quit has em thinking. I pray I can be the example that gets them thinking about joining us here.
After that it was just 4 hours in a major league baseball dugout. Dipper city. I had some seeds some gum and some more water and just enjoyed my quit.
Now I sit here with a nice martini, I just wanted to share. I had to face a lot of triggers today. The tools I've learned here helped me face them and stay quit today.
Today was a good day.
Fucking fantastic, Luby. Use my # if you need it.
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Had to share my good day yesterday so here's my bundle of suck today.
Got to bed at 1:00 am got up at 4:00 and off to work. Posted thru jmiah (thanks bud, I'll be posting via phone tomorrow too but I'll spread it around) work was an unorganized cluster fuck with a bunch of tired people. Long story short I never wanted to cave, but working with obnoxiously tired people all day with everyone but me dipping just sucked. Old me woulda had some raw gums by the end of a day like this.
I quit today, I stuck to it, I'm very happy with that, the day just sucked so bad I did end up with some fake dip in my lip, I was trying to avoid that but I am glad I did it because it really enforced how stupid paying to put poison in your body really is.
Kind of realize that I am using my "intro" thread as a blog, I hope that is ok.
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Had to share my good day yesterday so here's my bundle of suck today.
Got to bed at 1:00 am got up at 4:00 and off to work. Posted thru jmiah (thanks bud, I'll be posting via phone tomorrow too but I'll spread it around) work was an unorganized cluster fuck with a bunch of tired people. Long story short I never wanted to cave, but working with obnoxiously tired people all day with everyone but me dipping just sucked. Old me woulda had some raw gums by the end of a day like this.
I quit today, I stuck to it, I'm very happy with that, the day just sucked so bad I did end up with some fake dip in my lip, I was trying to avoid that but I am glad I did it because it really enforced how stupid paying to put poison in your body really is.
Kind of realize that I am using my "intro" thread as a blog, I hope that is ok.
I've been doing pretty much the same thing. Never though to see if anyone had an issue with it. Strong work on using your tools today.
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
Outstanding! Congratulations on conquering the most difficult step in your quit so far, Luby. I'm proud of your wife too, isn't it amazing what our family is capable of if we'd just let them? Well done, my friend. I'm proud to be an X- :ph43r: with you today.
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
Outstanding! Congratulations on conquering the most difficult step in your quit so far, Luby. I'm proud of your wife too, isn't it amazing what our family is capable of if we'd just let them? Well done, my friend. I'm proud to be an X- :ph43r: with you today.
Well done, indeed! Just freaking awesome! This time, I don't mind saying "I told you so!".
Couldn't be happier for you telling her and that she reacted in a positive way. Life is good when you're quit and everybody knows it.
Are you posting roll with November? Didn't see you on the list. Maybe you got bumped.
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
Outstanding! Congratulations on conquering the most difficult step in your quit so far, Luby. I'm proud of your wife too, isn't it amazing what our family is capable of if we'd just let them? Well done, my friend. I'm proud to be an X- :ph43r: with you today.
Well done, indeed! Just freaking awesome! This time, I don't mind saying "I told you so!".
Couldn't be happier for you telling her and that she reacted in a positive way. Life is good when you're quit and everybody knows it.
Are you posting roll with November? Didn't see you on the list. Maybe you got bumped.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congrats on a job well done!!!
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
Outstanding! Congratulations on conquering the most difficult step in your quit so far, Luby. I'm proud of your wife too, isn't it amazing what our family is capable of if we'd just let them? Well done, my friend. I'm proud to be an X- :ph43r: with you today.
Well done, indeed! Just freaking awesome! This time, I don't mind saying "I told you so!".
Couldn't be happier for you telling her and that she reacted in a positive way. Life is good when you're quit and everybody knows it.
Are you posting roll with November? Didn't see you on the list. Maybe you got bumped.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congrats on a job well done!!!
This gave me chills. I'm proud of you. You did the hard thing and it proved to be the right thing in the end.
This development will make your quit infinitely stronger. This is outstanding. Simply outstanding. Thank you for sharing this. 'Cheers'
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Quick update. Nothing new, just continued to be overwhelmed by the advice and support I receive here. Thank you all so much, I hope someday you all know how much this place has meant to me.
One quick thought since telling my wife, and lots of you told/and or implied it: I just burned my last boat. Not telling my wife gave me an "out" I never even saw, but you guys did, you called me on it and now I see it. My quit is more real now. It was before but now I've asked the most important person in my life to go all in on my quit too. It has not added pressure and stress it has just demonstrated what I have known all along, for me to be the person I want to be I have to be honest with myself and others.
Thanks for helping me get this far.
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Wow, what a day! I came home after a 20 day work road trip, shoulda been a breeze but it wasn't. Golfed in the am with dad and brothers and not getting into personal info, something fun that i looked forward to wasn't what i'd hoped for. Then time for 4 hour drive home, alone, grumpy.... A quick text or two to some tough ass quitters from this site made that way easier than it was shaping up to be. Got home, grilled some steaks and had a pleasant evening with my wife.
However we started talking about lots of things and I finally came clean. I have so much to say about this, hopefully tomorrow I can express myself better, but i had to share this news. It was the toughest conversation i've ever had and it confirmed that i married an incredible person that i don't deserve.
My quit is healthier now, my wife is amazing, the advice i received here is incredible.
I am emotionally spent, but I wanted to shout from the rooftops I am not a ninja anymore! I am an honest husband! I have a wife I don't deserve, but she's mine anyway!
nice work, luby. and smart move.
my wife and kids are my real life KTC support groups. it's funny to see them checking in on me when i'm doing stuff that used to involve dipping... i wasn't quite as good of a ninja as i thought i was.
lean on us. lean on your wife. we're all a part of your quit arsenal now. as always, thank your wife for her help and support. it's okay to be selfish right now, but take some steps back now and again and recognize how she's made your quit stronger.
you da man, luby.
Outstanding! Congratulations on conquering the most difficult step in your quit so far, Luby. I'm proud of your wife too, isn't it amazing what our family is capable of if we'd just let them? Well done, my friend. I'm proud to be an X- :ph43r: with you today.
Well done, indeed! Just freaking awesome! This time, I don't mind saying "I told you so!".
Couldn't be happier for you telling her and that she reacted in a positive way. Life is good when you're quit and everybody knows it.
Are you posting roll with November? Didn't see you on the list. Maybe you got bumped.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congrats on a job well done!!!
This gave me chills. I'm proud of you. You did the hard thing and it proved to be the right thing in the end.
This development will make your quit infinitely stronger. This is outstanding. Simply outstanding. Thank you for sharing this. 'Cheers'
Outstanding man! Way to come clean. I too was ninja :ph43r: or at least I thought I was. Came clean with my wife somewhere in the mid 50s. The hardest part was coming clean with my 19 20 year old kids on day 91. Without the support of people on this site, I'm not sure I would have come clean with either wife or kids.
Your quit will be much stronger now that you have more accountability beyond this site. Keep up the great work....it's worth it!
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56 days.... Nothing special at 56, the hall ain't close, the drama of struggling with first days is gone, just another day. I just wanted to write, because while it was just another day, it was another day quit!
I could not say that, without Kill the Can. I have quit on my own so many times and it was days like today that would ruin my half-ass, alone quits.
I read this site when I got up after 2 hours of sleep. I made my promise for today. I struggled thru my morning and texted an additional promise to a quit brother that has helped me so much over the past 56 days that I could never begin to thank him enough. I got back to my hotel room and got on line with you knuckleheads and read some truly inspiring shit on here. I stayed quit.
I am man enough to admit I cannot do this alone, I need support and I get it here. So thank you brothers of Kill the Can, today could have been a horrible day, but because of what I have learned here and all of you it was simply a great day to be quit.
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56 days.... Nothing special at 56, the hall ain't close, the drama of struggling with first days is gone, just another day. I just wanted to write, because while it was just another day, it was another day quit!
I could not say that, without Kill the Can. I have quit on my own so many times and it was days like today that would ruin my half-ass, alone quits.
I read this site when I got up after 2 hours of sleep. I made my promise for today. I struggled thru my morning and texted an additional promise to a quit brother that has helped me so much over the past 56 days that I could never begin to thank him enough. I got back to my hotel room and got on line with you knuckleheads and read some truly inspiring shit on here. I stayed quit.
I am man enough to admit I cannot do this alone, I need support and I get it here. So thank you brothers of Kill the Can, today could have been a horrible day, but because of what I have learned here and all of you it was simply a great day to be quit.
You're an awesome quitter and an inspiration Luby. Glad to be quit with you today.
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56 days.... Nothing special at 56, the hall ain't close, the drama of struggling with first days is gone, just another day. I just wanted to write, because while it was just another day, it was another day quit!
I could not say that, without Kill the Can. I have quit on my own so many times and it was days like today that would ruin my half-ass, alone quits.
I read this site when I got up after 2 hours of sleep. I made my promise for today. I struggled thru my morning and texted an additional promise to a quit brother that has helped me so much over the past 56 days that I could never begin to thank him enough. I got back to my hotel room and got on line with you knuckleheads and read some truly inspiring shit on here. I stayed quit.
I am man enough to admit I cannot do this alone, I need support and I get it here. So thank you brothers of Kill the Can, today could have been a horrible day, but because of what I have learned here and all of you it was simply a great day to be quit.
You're an awesome quitter and an inspiration Luby. Glad to be quit with you today.
Great point about how much the "nothing" days can fuck up one's quit. On those days, people lower their weapons. There's no invaders. There's no big events. There's no milestones. They get complacent, bored, overconfident.
A day like you're having is a great reason to be a part of KTC and to get online, to post your promise not to use this day. A day when you wouldn't be expecting a crave, or a cave.
Great post.
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Props to you Luby. Sounds like you figured out the unknown ingredients in the secret sauce. I like my quit drenched in the secret sauce - as well as my midget tranny little ladies of the night.
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56 days.... Nothing special at 56, the hall ain't close, the drama of struggling with first days is gone, just another day. I just wanted to write, because while it was just another day, it was another day quit!
I could not say that, without Kill the Can. I have quit on my own so many times and it was days like today that would ruin my half-ass, alone quits.
I read this site when I got up after 2 hours of sleep. I made my promise for today. I struggled thru my morning and texted an additional promise to a quit brother that has helped me so much over the past 56 days that I could never begin to thank him enough. I got back to my hotel room and got on line with you knuckleheads and read some truly inspiring shit on here. I stayed quit.
I am man enough to admit I cannot do this alone, I need support and I get it here. So thank you brothers of Kill the Can, today could have been a horrible day, but because of what I have learned here and all of you it was simply a great day to be quit.
You're an awesome quitter and an inspiration Luby. Glad to be quit with you today.
Great point about how much the "nothing" days can fuck up one's quit. On those days, people lower their weapons. There's no invaders. There's no big events. There's no milestones. They get complacent, bored, overconfident.
A day like you're having is a great reason to be a part of KTC and to get online, to post your promise not to use this day. A day when you wouldn't be expecting a crave, or a cave.
Great post.
Good stuff Luby.
Freedom is created everyday.
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Just a quick note to all of you. Thanks. It's days like today, when I am feeling the intoxication of freedom from nicotine, that I just want to shout it from the roof tops. "All you users, you gotta try this quit shit!"
So thanks to everyone here on Kill the Can, because without you I wouldn't be feeling this good right now, and to anyone thinking of quitting? You have no idea what you are missing out on.
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Just a quick note to all of you. Thanks. It's days like today, when I am feeling the intoxication of freedom from nicotine, that I just want to shout it from the roof tops. "All you users, you gotta try this quit shit!"
So thanks to everyone here on Kill the Can, because without you I wouldn't be feeling this good right now, and to anyone thinking of quitting? You have no idea what you are missing out on.
Luby, I am with you all the way today. I am having a good day today myself. You and I are on the same team even hitting the hall in the same month. You keep that quit going strong and I will too. See you on the train bro.
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Just a quick note to all of you. Thanks. It's days like today, when I am feeling the intoxication of freedom from nicotine, that I just want to shout it from the roof tops. "All you users, you gotta try this quit shit!"
So thanks to everyone here on Kill the Can, because without you I wouldn't be feeling this good right now, and to anyone thinking of quitting? You have no idea what you are missing out on.
Oh yeah. Good shit Luby. Totally blew my quit load on this line:
"I am feeling the intoxication of freedom"
Thanks for the quit porn. Tissue please.
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I work in a strange business. Like lots of folks here there are lots of dippers around me all the time at work..... Got into a long talk tonight with a co-worker, one thing led to another and we were into seeds, stir straws, jerky, tea, diet coke, and whatever other oral fixation substitute you could ever think of. I finally had to ask "dude you a quit dipper"? His answer "nope, lifetime smoker, quit 13 years and 20 days, I got this so do you"!
Goddamn that is an exclusive club I am proud to a part of, quit.
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I work in a strange business. Like lots of folks here there are lots of dippers around me all the time at work..... Got into a long talk tonight with a co-worker, one thing led to another and we were into seeds, stir straws, jerky, tea, diet coke, and whatever other oral fixation substitute you could ever think of. I finally had to ask "dude you a quit dipper"? His answer "nope, lifetime smoker, quit 13 years and 20 days, I got this so do you"!
Goddamn that is an exclusive club I am proud to a part of, quit.
And still knows his time quit! Something tells me he knows he's an addict!
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The last couple days I have been very active on this site. I have been in chat, I have tried to help newbys, I have tried to help cavers get back on the horse....
I have really enjoyed being this active around here, but let me tell you all a little secret... I owe this site more than a few days. Because when I am traveling for work which is way too much lately, I can grab my iphone and read stuff on here. Hell I lurk around as much as I can to suck up all the motivation I find here. I may not be able to go into chat, or feel like trying to type out a supportive message on my phone but I still get what I need.
So when I can I try to follow the lead I see on here to pay it forward. I am so damn proud to be a part of this community I will do what I can to be a productive part of it.
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The last couple days I have been very active on this site. I have been in chat, I have tried to help newbys, I have tried to help cavers get back on the horse....
I have really enjoyed being this active around here, but let me tell you all a little secret... I owe this site more than a few days. Because when I am traveling for work which is way too much lately, I can grab my iphone and read stuff on here. Hell I lurk around as much as I can to suck up all the motivation I find here. I may not be able to go into chat, or feel like trying to type out a supportive message on my phone but I still get what I need.
So when I can I try to follow the lead I see on here to pay it forward. I am so damn proud to be a part of this community I will do what I can to be a productive part of it.
Glad you are here. Thanks for the chat today.
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I work in a strange business. Like lots of folks here there are lots of dippers around me all the time at work..... Got into a long talk tonight with a co-worker, one thing led to another and we were into seeds, stir straws, jerky, tea, diet coke, and whatever other oral fixation substitute you could ever think of. I finally had to ask "dude you a quit dipper"? His answer "nope, lifetime smoker, quit 13 years and 20 days, I got this so do you"!
Goddamn that is an exclusive club I am proud to a part of, quit.
And still knows his time quit! Something tells me he knows he's an addict!
Excellent illustration, Luby. That's a lot of quit. I have a friend who is 11 + years quit dipping right now. He has never even heard of KTC, but I owe him my quit, first and foremost. I've told him that several different times, and he still doesn't believe it. He told me early last year that he had quit "a little over 10 years ago" and said he could pick it right back up at any time. The more I thought about it, the madder I got at myself. Every time I was around him with my lip or jaw packed, I felt like a complete ass for exposing him again. A few other factors pushed me over the edge, but I kept returning to "If Steve can do it, so can I". I found and joined KTC to stay accountable, but I know ole Steve-O has got his eye on me too. He has not forgotten that he is an addict, and never shall I.
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Been meaning to write in here since making the Hall...
Here is why. I was scared in the days leading up to a 100. Felt I was building it up too much in my head, that I was gonna wake up on day 101 and say "done!" and I know I will never be done, I have to quit everyday. So last week I made a plan, for post HOF... kinda sick plan but it's my plan!
I kinda hated myself for being a dipper, and now I that I have worked on that aspect of my life I want to use it as a foundation to continue building. That being the case my HOF "reward" was to go on a diet, join a crossfit gym (holy sweet fuck I am sore) and cut way back on the drinking.
I know it is weird "reward" but I like it, I like feeling better and I like feeling in control of my life.
Important lesson I have learned here. Have a plan. I always had a plan whether it was first day at work, first time back around dippers, first long drive.... and then I had a plan for when I repeated those thing.
So when I was worried about how I would feel post HOF I made a plan for that.
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Been meaning to write in here since making the Hall...
Here is why. I was scared in the days leading up to a 100. Felt I was building it up too much in my head, that I was gonna wake up on day 101 and say "done!" and I know I will never be done, I have to quit everyday. So last week I made a plan, for post HOF... kinda sick plan but it's my plan!
I kinda hated myself for being a dipper, and now I that I have worked on that aspect of my life I want to use it as a foundation to continue building. That being the case my HOF "reward" was to go on a diet, join a crossfit gym (holy sweet fuck I am sore) and cut way back on the drinking.
I know it is weird "reward" but I like it, I like feeling better and I like feeling in control of my life.
Important lesson I have learned here. Have a plan. I always had a plan whether it was first day at work, first time back around dippers, first long drive.... and then I had a plan for when I repeated those thing.
So when I was worried about how I would feel post HOF I made a plan for that.
nice work, luby.
i'm right behind you... going to take some time to work out on my own and shed some lbs, but i'm thinking of going crossfit too. let me know how it goes for you...
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Been meaning to write in here since making the Hall...
Here is why. I was scared in the days leading up to a 100. Felt I was building it up too much in my head, that I was gonna wake up on day 101 and say "done!" and I know I will never be done, I have to quit everyday. So last week I made a plan, for post HOF... kinda sick plan but it's my plan!
I kinda hated myself for being a dipper, and now I that I have worked on that aspect of my life I want to use it as a foundation to continue building. That being the case my HOF "reward" was to go on a diet, join a crossfit gym (holy sweet fuck I am sore) and cut way back on the drinking.
I know it is weird "reward" but I like it, I like feeling better and I like feeling in control of my life.
Important lesson I have learned here. Have a plan. I always had a plan whether it was first day at work, first time back around dippers, first long drive.... and then I had a plan for when I repeated those thing.
So when I was worried about how I would feel post HOF I made a plan for that.
nice work, luby.
i'm right behind you... going to take some time to work out on my own and shed some lbs, but i'm thinking of going crossfit too. let me know how it goes for you...
Excellent plan. I kinda did the same thing, but couldn't do it at 100 days. A year was my "what then" opportunity to start reclaiming all aspects of my health. So far, C25K is going great and several pounds went missing.
You'll have to enlighten us on the crossfit plan.
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Been meaning to write in here since making the Hall...
Here is why. I was scared in the days leading up to a 100. Felt I was building it up too much in my head, that I was gonna wake up on day 101 and say "done!" and I know I will never be done, I have to quit everyday. So last week I made a plan, for post HOF... kinda sick plan but it's my plan!
I kinda hated myself for being a dipper, and now I that I have worked on that aspect of my life I want to use it as a foundation to continue building. That being the case my HOF "reward" was to go on a diet, join a crossfit gym (holy sweet fuck I am sore) and cut way back on the drinking.
I know it is weird "reward" but I like it, I like feeling better and I like feeling in control of my life.
Important lesson I have learned here. Have a plan. I always had a plan whether it was first day at work, first time back around dippers, first long drive.... and then I had a plan for when I repeated those thing.
So when I was worried about how I would feel post HOF I made a plan for that.
nice work, luby.
i'm right behind you... going to take some time to work out on my own and shed some lbs, but i'm thinking of going crossfit too. let me know how it goes for you...
Excellent plan. I kinda did the same thing, but couldn't do it at 100 days. A year was my "what then" opportunity to start reclaiming all aspects of my health. So far, C25K is going great and several pounds went missing.
You'll have to enlighten us on the crossfit plan.
Nice job, Luby! (http://www.lubys.com/en/default.asp)! Sorry, always think of this place when I see your name.
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Haven't written in here in awhile, but being quit and who I am because of it is on my mind a lot lately. I've been in Peru for almost 2 weeks now and am heading home tomorrow. I have travelled a lot in the past but this one meant a lot to me. I grew up a history geek (and a geography geek, and a geology geek, I guess just a geek) and machu picchu was probably always number one on my list of places to see. So much so that I couldn't just take the train and the bus and see it, I had to hike across the Andes the way the incas did and approach it with the respect it deserved. I assumed at some point I wouldn't be able to post roll (even though i was in lodges, c'mon I like my comforts) I even posted in October and let the quitters I support know I wouldn't be available....
Turns out the one lodge that didnt have Internet a village up the road did, I posted everyday. I was somewhat active on site, what with no tv, it came down to Internet and books, it was great!
Short story long, i had the experience of a lifetime and I had it quit. Are there days I wish I didn't need KTC? Are there times I wish my quit was done and I would not need to focus on it? Hell yes! But posting roll everyday and being an active member of this community is what works for me, and as the title of my intro thread stated months ago there is "no looking back", there is today, and I am so much happier because of it.
So if you read this and you have a chance, raise a glass of your favorite beverage (a Peruvian lager for myself this evening) and say a little toast to what we have accomplished today.
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Exellent post Luby. Thanks for sharing some inspiration.
It's always nice to conquer some new shit in life clean...taking down machu picchu is epic. And still managed to post roll everyday. There is a lesson in there somewhere.
Never forget you are an addict. You forget, you die.
Thanks again.
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Nicely done!
I now have another example of a seriously bad ass quitter posting roll in some remote place, willing to do what it takes to keep his word and his quit !
Very well done indeed !
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You sir are a badass quitter. Way to set an example!
An honor to quit with you,
30
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Perfecto!
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Haven't written in here in awhile, but being quit and who I am because of it is on my mind a lot lately. I've been in Peru for almost 2 weeks now and am heading home tomorrow. I have travelled a lot in the past but this one meant a lot to me. I grew up a history geek (and a geography geek, and a geology geek, I guess just a geek) and machu picchu was probably always number one on my list of places to see. So much so that I couldn't just take the train and the bus and see it, I had to hike across the Andes the way the incas did and approach it with the respect it deserved. I assumed at some point I wouldn't be able to post roll (even though i was in lodges, c'mon I like my comforts) I even posted in October and let the quitters I support know I wouldn't be available....
Turns out the one lodge that didnt have Internet a village up the road did, I posted everyday. I was somewhat active on site, what with no tv, it came down to Internet and books, it was great!
Short story long, i had the experience of a lifetime and I had it quit. Are there days I wish I didn't need KTC? Are there times I wish my quit was done and I would not need to focus on it? Hell yes! But posting roll everyday and being an active member of this community is what works for me, and as the title of my intro thread stated months ago there is "no looking back", there is today, and I am so much happier because of it.
So if you read this and you have a chance, raise a glass of your favorite beverage (a Peruvian lager for myself this evening) and say a little toast to what we have accomplished today.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
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Haven't written in here in awhile, but being quit and who I am because of it is on my mind a lot lately. I've been in Peru for almost 2 weeks now and am heading home tomorrow. I have travelled a lot in the past but this one meant a lot to me. I grew up a history geek (and a geography geek, and a geology geek, I guess just a geek) and machu picchu was probably always number one on my list of places to see. So much so that I couldn't just take the train and the bus and see it, I had to hike across the Andes the way the incas did and approach it with the respect it deserved. I assumed at some point I wouldn't be able to post roll (even though i was in lodges, c'mon I like my comforts) I even posted in October and let the quitters I support know I wouldn't be available....
Turns out the one lodge that didnt have Internet a village up the road did, I posted everyday. I was somewhat active on site, what with no tv, it came down to Internet and books, it was great!
Short story long, i had the experience of a lifetime and I had it quit. Are there days I wish I didn't need KTC? Are there times I wish my quit was done and I would not need to focus on it? Hell yes! But posting roll everyday and being an active member of this community is what works for me, and as the title of my intro thread stated months ago there is "no looking back", there is today, and I am so much happier because of it.
So if you read this and you have a chance, raise a glass of your favorite beverage (a Peruvian lager for myself this evening) and say a little toast to what we have accomplished today.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
You rock Luby. Posted EVERY day from the jungles of Peru. B)
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edit
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Haven't written in here in awhile, but being quit and who I am because of it is on my mind a lot lately. I've been in Peru for almost 2 weeks now and am heading home tomorrow. I have travelled a lot in the past but this one meant a lot to me. I grew up a history geek (and a geography geek, and a geology geek, I guess just a geek) and machu picchu was probably always number one on my list of places to see. So much so that I couldn't just take the train and the bus and see it, I had to hike across the Andes the way the incas did and approach it with the respect it deserved. I assumed at some point I wouldn't be able to post roll (even though i was in lodges, c'mon I like my comforts) I even posted in October and let the quitters I support know I wouldn't be available....
Turns out the one lodge that didnt have Internet a village up the road did, I posted everyday. I was somewhat active on site, what with no tv, it came down to Internet and books, it was great!
Short story long, i had the experience of a lifetime and I had it quit. Are there days I wish I didn't need KTC? Are there times I wish my quit was done and I would not need to focus on it? Hell yes! But posting roll everyday and being an active member of this community is what works for me, and as the title of my intro thread stated months ago there is "no looking back", there is today, and I am so much happier because of it.
So if you read this and you have a chance, raise a glass of your favorite beverage (a Peruvian lager for myself this evening) and say a little toast to what we have accomplished today.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
You rock Luby. Posted EVERY day from the jungles of Peru. B)
Good shit Luby. Commitment to your quit. Great thing to read bro. That's awesome.
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
I know it can suck sometimes. You have self awareness though. This is a good thing. I kinda like that.
Stick with the herd. Always best. The nic bitch is more likely to go after some dumb ass being stupid.
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
I know it can suck sometimes. You have self awareness though. This is a good thing. I kinda like that.
Stick with the herd. Always best. The nic bitch is more likely to go after some dumb ass being stupid.
Luby,
You are a badass quitter and I appreciate your honesty. I will help out in any way I can.
I quit on or about the day you walked into the HOF, which means whatever you go through in your quit, I'm likely to experience 100 days or so down the line.
You've set and continue to set a great example for us quitters. I know what you deal with in your daily life and your ability to stand up and say "QUIT" each and every day is inspiring. Others in your line of work have not been so successful.
Stay strong, Luby. And hit me up whenever you need. You know how to find me.
-Bigsky
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
I know it can suck sometimes. You have self awareness though. This is a good thing. I kinda like that.
Stick with the herd. Always best. The nic bitch is more likely to go after some dumb ass being stupid.
Luby,
You are a badass quitter and I appreciate your honesty. I will help out in any way I can.
I quit on or about the day you walked into the HOF, which means whatever you go through in your quit, I'm likely to experience 100 days or so down the line.
You've set and continue to set a great example for us quitters. I know what you deal with in your daily life and your ability to stand up and say "QUIT" each and every day is inspiring. Others in your line of work have not been so successful.
Stay strong, Luby. And hit me up whenever you need. You know how to find me.
-Bigsky
When i thought I couldn't make it through this quit, all I had to do was take a look to see that Luby, WP, CnC ect have posted roll and I know I can because they have trusted me enough to give me their word. If that didn't work for me then I called on my quit brother, Luby and it always helps. He won't let me fail and I won't let him fail either. You call or text if you need it! Last week I had a case of the effits. That is basically when you think about all of the reasons you quit and say f-it, I am going back. Short text with Luby and I had my sane quit mind back. I can't do this alone anytime soon...maybe ever...glad to be quit with you! This addiction is cunning and will strike when we least expect it. Keep your hands up sisters and brothers.
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
I know it can suck sometimes. You have self awareness though. This is a good thing. I kinda like that.
Stick with the herd. Always best. The nic bitch is more likely to go after some dumb ass being stupid.
Luby,
You are a badass quitter and I appreciate your honesty. I will help out in any way I can.
I quit on or about the day you walked into the HOF, which means whatever you go through in your quit, I'm likely to experience 100 days or so down the line.
You've set and continue to set a great example for us quitters. I know what you deal with in your daily life and your ability to stand up and say "QUIT" each and every day is inspiring. Others in your line of work have not been so successful.
Stay strong, Luby. And hit me up whenever you need. You know how to find me.
-Bigsky
When i thought I couldn't make it through this quit, all I had to do was take a look to see that Luby, WP, CnC ect have posted roll and I know I can because they have trusted me enough to give me their word. If that didn't work for me then I called on my quit brother, Luby and it always helps. He won't let me fail and I won't let him fail either. You call or text if you need it! Last week I had a case of the effits. That is basically when you think about all of the reasons you quit and say f-it, I am going back. Short text with Luby and I had my sane quit mind back. I can't do this alone anytime soon...maybe ever...glad to be quit with you! This addiction is cunning and will strike when we least expect it. Keep your hands up sisters and brothers.
THANK YOU for sharing. The more that see this, the better. Too many people are going to leave in 100 days. IDK when I'll leave, but I do know that 100days of being nic free is a drop in the bucket compared to the 10,950 days of using nicotine.
We need to reprogram ourselves on how to handle every situation. Our brain is programmed to immediately go to the one thing it knows...stuff shit in your face. We have to retrain our brain on a new "go to". At 50days, I'm just learning how to relax without having cravings. Almost everything I've experienced in my life for the past 30years has had nicotine as part of the program.
One huge lesson for me this past week is it's much more effective to think of what I CAN do. The more I think, "What CAN I do in this situation", the more replacements I find. It's a waste of opportunity, never mind energy, to focus on what we can't do.
-
Debated whether to write anything, because it may be discouraging for some but decided to because it may help others.
Day 178 and I have been struggling since the holidays, lots of factors, one being this is about my most stressful work weeks of the year, another I work around guys that dip. Whatever the reason they have combined and hit me like a ton of bricks. Whatever the reasons the craves are here and they suck.
The most important thing about these last few days is that they have reinforced the fact I cannot, and may never be able to do this alone. Yesterday I reached out in my quit group and that helped. I reached out via text to quit brothers yesterday and already this morning. One thing I did is make sure I know some guys will be near their phones for me today. I will fight like mad today, but I may not be strong enough to win the fight, but I know I don't have to be, I have people who will help me and together we will be strong enough.
I won't lie I am pissed. I want to be "done" quitting. I want to be "cured", I don't want to have to fight this everyday.
To any newbys who read this and think "fuck this guy is 6 months quit and struggling...." please trust me when I say that I have had way, way more good days than bad thought this, and the freedom is worth every bad day I've had.
And for everyone the lesson I've learned, post roll everyday, and use your resources!
I feel for you Luby, I really do. It sounds like you're going through a difficult period and questioning if you really can t through without nicotine. This is the addiction pulling at you. These are death throws from a dying nic bitch.
Let me ask you a couple questions...
Is dipping an option for you today?
Are you considering not posting roll tomorrow?
If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' or a 'maybe' then you are in a danger zone.
One of the things that has helped me is that I took the advice of some on this board and I did my best to "Shut the Door" on that period of my life when I dipped.
It's a mindset thing.
Step back from where you are and consider your big picture options. You can go back to the fucked up way of living your life, or you can continue to man-up and own that bitch.
Be a bad-ass. Own your addiction and make it play by YOUR rules...
Peace to you my friend.
I know it can suck sometimes. You have self awareness though. This is a good thing. I kinda like that.
Stick with the herd. Always best. The nic bitch is more likely to go after some dumb ass being stupid.
Luby,
You are a badass quitter and I appreciate your honesty. I will help out in any way I can.
I quit on or about the day you walked into the HOF, which means whatever you go through in your quit, I'm likely to experience 100 days or so down the line.
You've set and continue to set a great example for us quitters. I know what you deal with in your daily life and your ability to stand up and say "QUIT" each and every day is inspiring. Others in your line of work have not been so successful.
Stay strong, Luby. And hit me up whenever you need. You know how to find me.
-Bigsky
When i thought I couldn't make it through this quit, all I had to do was take a look to see that Luby, WP, CnC ect have posted roll and I know I can because they have trusted me enough to give me their word. If that didn't work for me then I called on my quit brother, Luby and it always helps. He won't let me fail and I won't let him fail either. You call or text if you need it! Last week I had a case of the effits. That is basically when you think about all of the reasons you quit and say f-it, I am going back. Short text with Luby and I had my sane quit mind back. I can't do this alone anytime soon...maybe ever...glad to be quit with you! This addiction is cunning and will strike when we least expect it. Keep your hands up sisters and brothers.
THANK YOU for sharing. The more that see this, the better. Too many people are going to leave in 100 days. IDK when I'll leave, but I do know that 100days of being nic free is a drop in the bucket compared to the 10,950 days of using nicotine.
We need to reprogram ourselves on how to handle every situation. Our brain is programmed to immediately go to the one thing it knows...stuff shit in your face. We have to retrain our brain on a new "go to". At 50days, I'm just learning how to relax without having cravings. Almost everything I've experienced in my life for the past 30years has had nicotine as part of the program.
One huge lesson for me this past week is it's much more effective to think of what I CAN do. The more I think, "What CAN I do in this situation", the more replacements I find. It's a waste of opportunity, never mind energy, to focus on what we can't do.
I've had this same emotion lately. you are not alone. stay strong luby. you are a fine quitter who many look up to. a cave decision will not only be a disappointment to you but also to your wife and your quit brothers and sisters. ultimately it comes down to one question. is dip more important? Don't be selfish today. let tomorrow take care of itself. Your quit inspires me.
-
Keep up the fight Luby. Lots of folks here to lean on...or get a kick in the crotch from.
-
Wow, it has been awhile since I wrote anything in here! I have had such a simple but powerful thought lately, it is nothing new but it just keeps hitting me. I have lived life as a dipper and I have now lived my life quit for 215 days.
The one with the freedom is so exponentially better I do not have words to describe it. It shocks me when I see a caver because he has tasted this freedom and chose to forsake it.
Gentleman raise a glass to freedom tonight, we have earned it, and it is a beautiful thing!
-
Wow, it has been awhile since I wrote anything in here! I have had such a simple but powerful thought lately, it is nothing new but it just keeps hitting me. I have lived life as a dipper and I have now lived my life quit for 215 days.
The one with the freedom is so exponentially better I do not have words to describe it. It shocks me when I see a caver because he has tasted this freedom and chose to forsake it.
Gentleman raise a glass to freedom tonight, we have earned it, and it is a beautiful thing!
Freedom. It is humanity's natural state. Cheers to you!
-
Wow, it has been awhile since I wrote anything in here! I have had such a simple but powerful thought lately, it is nothing new but it just keeps hitting me. I have lived life as a dipper and I have now lived my life quit for 215 days.
The one with the freedom is so exponentially better I do not have words to describe it. It shocks me when I see a caver because he has tasted this freedom and chose to forsake it.
Gentleman raise a glass to freedom tonight, we have earned it, and it is a beautiful thing!
Freedom. It is humanity's natural state. Cheers to you!
Wonderfully stated Luby! On that note, I will cheers you as well as any who should also decide to do so! I am so very grateful to have found KTC and established such stellar brelationships with so many of the people here. Congrats on your 200+ so far and I look forward to continuing the journey with you as well! 'Have a beer'
-
Suffering from one of periodic bouts of insomnia, which sucks a ton but gives me time to write in here. My wife and I have made a huge life decision and decided to make Eugene, Oregon home. Even moving around I never thought I'd call anyplace but Seattle home, but life, box of chocolates and all that.
Anyway the moving into a new home has triggered some thoughts about my quit. A couple big life decisions and moves in the past have led to major amounts of dipping. This time it isn't even an option, not just because I post roll each day, but because I am in a great place in my quit right now. Nicotine has no appeal, and it is something that i used to do. Don't get me wrong I post everyday, I am a texting fool with many fine quitters, I am active on site and paying it forward helping anyone I can. I have not lost sight of the fact that I am an addict, I remain vigilant. My freedom was hard earned, I will do what it takes to keep it.
There is one other reason I am so strong right now, the same reason I stated in my first post here, all of you. I look back to my first post and I told this entire community that I was going to rely on all of you. It is really funny looking back on it because I had no clue what I was talking about, but boy did I get that right!
I had no idea the level that would go to. Some of the people I consider very close friends are people I have met here. The thought of letting them down, of letting this community down, of letting my wife down, of letting myself down is just so repulsive to me that I cannot even imagine it.
To anyone new, or anyone struggling I have felt your pain, I am sure I will struggle again but right now I feel great and I am proud to quit with all of you today!
-
Suffering from one of periodic bouts of insomnia, which sucks a ton but gives me time to write in here. My wife and I have made a huge life decision and decided to make Eugene, Oregon home. Even moving around I never thought I'd call anyplace but Seattle home, but life, box of chocolates and all that.
Anyway the moving into a new home has triggered some thoughts about my quit. A couple big life decisions and moves in the past have led to major amounts of dipping. This time it isn't even an option, not just because I post roll each day, but because I am in a great place in my quit right now. Nicotine has no appeal, and it is something that i used to do. Don't get me wrong I post everyday, I am a texting fool with many fine quitters, I am active on site and paying it forward helping anyone I can. I have not lost sight of the fact that I am an addict, I remain vigilant. My freedom was hard earned, I will do what it takes to keep it.
There is one other reason I am so strong right now, the same reason I stated in my first post here, all of you. I look back to my first post and I told this entire community that I was going to rely on all of you. It is really funny looking back on it because I had no clue what I was talking about, but boy did I get that right!
I had no idea the level that would go to. Some of the people I consider very close friends are people I have met here. The thought of letting them down, of letting this community down, of letting my wife down, of letting myself down is just so repulsive to me that I cannot even imagine it.
To anyone new, or anyone struggling I have felt your pain, I am sure I will struggle again but right now I feel great and I am proud to quit with all of you today!
Well done Luby. I don't know if you been going to any quitter meets or anything out there...I call them conventions out here on the east coast cause it seems like a whole bunch of folks come out for these things. The thing that I always come away with is what a complete bunch of characters we all are. Strong personalities. Solid folks. And the thing I dig is I get a sense of purpose from everyone. May be I'm projecting...I dunno. Good folks. That's all I got to say.
Glad you're here man.
-
Suffering from one of periodic bouts of insomnia, which sucks a ton but gives me time to write in here. My wife and I have made a huge life decision and decided to make Eugene, Oregon home. Even moving around I never thought I'd call anyplace but Seattle home, but life, box of chocolates and all that.
Anyway the moving into a new home has triggered some thoughts about my quit. A couple big life decisions and moves in the past have led to major amounts of dipping. This time it isn't even an option, not just because I post roll each day, but because I am in a great place in my quit right now. Nicotine has no appeal, and it is something that i used to do. Don't get me wrong I post everyday, I am a texting fool with many fine quitters, I am active on site and paying it forward helping anyone I can. I have not lost sight of the fact that I am an addict, I remain vigilant. My freedom was hard earned, I will do what it takes to keep it.
There is one other reason I am so strong right now, the same reason I stated in my first post here, all of you. I look back to my first post and I told this entire community that I was going to rely on all of you. It is really funny looking back on it because I had no clue what I was talking about, but boy did I get that right!
I had no idea the level that would go to. Some of the people I consider very close friends are people I have met here. The thought of letting them down, of letting this community down, of letting my wife down, of letting myself down is just so repulsive to me that I cannot even imagine it.
To anyone new, or anyone struggling I have felt your pain, I am sure I will struggle again but right now I feel great and I am proud to quit with all of you today!
Well done Luby. I don't know if you been going to any quitter meets or anything out there...I call them conventions out here on the east coast cause it seems like a whole bunch of folks come out for these things. The thing that I always come away with is what a complete bunch of characters we all are. Strong personalities. Solid folks. And the thing I dig is I get a sense of purpose from everyone. May be I'm projecting...I dunno. Good folks. That's all I got to say.
Glad you're here man.
Great post! Thanks. So glad to be quit and celebrate with all you bastards of quit. kill The Can!
-
Suffering from one of periodic bouts of insomnia, which sucks a ton but gives me time to write in here. My wife and I have made a huge life decision and decided to make Eugene, Oregon home. Even moving around I never thought I'd call anyplace but Seattle home, but life, box of chocolates and all that.
Anyway the moving into a new home has triggered some thoughts about my quit. A couple big life decisions and moves in the past have led to major amounts of dipping. This time it isn't even an option, not just because I post roll each day, but because I am in a great place in my quit right now. Nicotine has no appeal, and it is something that i used to do. Don't get me wrong I post everyday, I am a texting fool with many fine quitters, I am active on site and paying it forward helping anyone I can. I have not lost sight of the fact that I am an addict, I remain vigilant. My freedom was hard earned, I will do what it takes to keep it.
There is one other reason I am so strong right now, the same reason I stated in my first post here, all of you. I look back to my first post and I told this entire community that I was going to rely on all of you. It is really funny looking back on it because I had no clue what I was talking about, but boy did I get that right!
I had no idea the level that would go to. Some of the people I consider very close friends are people I have met here. The thought of letting them down, of letting this community down, of letting my wife down, of letting myself down is just so repulsive to me that I cannot even imagine it.
To anyone new, or anyone struggling I have felt your pain, I am sure I will struggle again but right now I feel great and I am proud to quit with all of you today!
Welcome to Oregon...I'm glad you've made the decision to stay here. It took me 18 years to get back here and I'm never looking back. Before you know it you'll be sporting the green and gold! 'crackup'
Seriously though, I AM glad you're here...it's good to have a strong quitter like you close enough to keep me honest, and I'll do the same for you. There are a couple other vets here too, so maybe it's time for an Oregon "convention" as Souliman puts it. B)
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Had to go back aways to find my intro thread but I wanted to share something and I figured here was the right place....
A year ago today was my "quit date" I had set it, built it up in my mind and I was spending the 4th owning my "independence from nicotine". Seriously that is what I was calling it, don't mock me, I am mostly awesome but sometimes even I can have bad ideas.
Anyway I owned it that day and the next and for a few more, I don't really know because this was before I found KTC, quit one day at a time and paid attention to my days..... I know I made it through the hard part physically and mentally (as I had countless times before, I was a professional "stopper") but not too long into it I was right back to the tin, I won't call it a 'cave' cus once again pre KTC I don't feel I have the right to that terminology, what I was, was a loser.
I am celebrating the 4th a little extra today because that failed attempt led to such shame and self loathing that I sought help and found KTC. Without that pathetic, independent attempt to quit on my own I would have never found the tools, the support, the brotherhood, the good friends, and the accountability that have led me to the intoxication of freedom I have earned today.
I have had a damn nice run lately. Quit is strong, life is good, living is easy, but I know there will always be rough spots, I am an addict, there is no cure, this is who I am. And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way.
Happy Fourth of July KTC I hope you are all feeling the extra freedom today.
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Had to go back aways to find my intro thread but I wanted to share something and I figured here was the right place....
A year ago today was my "quit date" I had set it, built it up in my mind and I was spending the 4th owning my "independence from nicotine". Seriously that is what I was calling it, don't mock me, I am mostly awesome but sometimes even I can have bad ideas.
Anyway I owned it that day and the next and for a few more, I don't really know because this was before I found KTC, quit one day at a time and paid attention to my days..... I know I made it through the hard part physically and mentally (as I had countless times before, I was a professional "stopper") but not too long into it I was right back to the tin, I won't call it a 'cave' cus once again pre KTC I don't feel I have the right to that terminology, what I was, was a loser.
I am celebrating the 4th a little extra today because that failed attempt led to such shame and self loathing that I sought help and found KTC. Without that pathetic, independent attempt to quit on my own I would have never found the tools, the support, the brotherhood, the good friends, and the accountability that have led me to the intoxication of freedom I have earned today.
I have had a damn nice run lately. Quit is strong, life is good, living is easy, but I know there will always be rough spots, I am an addict, there is no cure, this is who I am. And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way.
Happy Fourth of July KTC I hope you are all feeling the extra freedom today.
Glad you found us
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Had to go back aways to find my intro thread but I wanted to share something and I figured here was the right place....
A year ago today was my "quit date" I had set it, built it up in my mind and I was spending the 4th owning my "independence from nicotine". Seriously that is what I was calling it, don't mock me, I am mostly awesome but sometimes even I can have bad ideas.
Anyway I owned it that day and the next and for a few more, I don't really know because this was before I found KTC, quit one day at a time and paid attention to my days..... I know I made it through the hard part physically and mentally (as I had countless times before, I was a professional "stopper") but not too long into it I was right back to the tin, I won't call it a 'cave' cus once again pre KTC I don't feel I have the right to that terminology, what I was, was a loser.
I am celebrating the 4th a little extra today because that failed attempt led to such shame and self loathing that I sought help and found KTC. Without that pathetic, independent attempt to quit on my own I would have never found the tools, the support, the brotherhood, the good friends, and the accountability that have led me to the intoxication of freedom I have earned today.
I have had a damn nice run lately. Quit is strong, life is good, living is easy, but I know there will always be rough spots, I am an addict, there is no cure, this is who I am. And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way.
Happy Fourth of July KTC I hope you are all feeling the extra freedom today.
Glad you found us
I quit with you !
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I lost my shit tonight. Little after 11 PM after an absolute shit storm of a night at work, combined with phone calls, texts and emails amongst various family members and issues (some unfortunately serious) all while dealing with co-workers that are so controlled by addictions that their rationalizations are their realitys, I was fucking done.
Driving home I was headed to buy a can, I even thought about who I could call and told myself there was no one up that late. I pulled my own rationalization.
I didn't cave, not even close.
My addiction told me chew was the answer. That shit is laughable. I thought about my quit brothers i'd let down, I thought about giving up my freedom, and it wasn't even close.
The best part I KNEW it wouldn't help even a little. And as all bat shit crazy, out of control pissed and losing it I was, chew didn't even sound good. A cheeseburger and a beer? That sounded good a lip filled with shame sounded like the dumbest idea ever.
The fact I still think about it proves I'm an addict, the fact I'm better than that keeps me free.
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I lost my shit tonight. Little after 11 PM after an absolute shit storm of a night at work, combined with phone calls, texts and emails amongst various family members and issues (some unfortunately serious) all while dealing with co-workers that are so controlled by addictions that their rationalizations are their realitys, I was fucking done.
Driving home I was headed to buy a can, I even thought about who I could call and told myself there was no one up that late. I pulled my own rationalization.
I didn't cave, not even close.
My addiction told me chew was the answer. That shit is laughable. I thought about my quit brothers i'd let down, I thought about giving up my freedom, and it wasn't even close.
The best part I KNEW it wouldn't help even a little. And as all bat shit crazy, out of control pissed and losing it I was, chew didn't even sound good. A cheeseburger and a beer? That sounded good a lip filled with shame sounded like the dumbest idea ever.
The fact I still think about it proves I'm an addict, the fact I'm better than that keeps me free.
Awesome shit right there brother. In a pinch like that next time though, give me a shout, if you need #s, shoot me a PM. I don't sleep well, let alone much as a rule during the week so never assume you're playing sniper without a spotter. Someone will always have your back.
QLAFM with you today.
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Congrat's on 400 brother. This journey has broken you and rebuilt you into a rock solid man with balls of steel. I'm proud to quit with you every day and have a quitter like you in my corner. Well done, Luby.
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Congrat's on 400 brother. This journey has broken you and rebuilt you into a rock solid man with balls of steel. I'm proud to quit with you every day and have a quitter like you in my corner. Well done, Luby.
I second that. What he said.
Thanks for all the support you have given me Luby. I will never forget it.
Keep on keepin on with your Steel Balls of Quitdom hanging to the ground.
That's right. I said Steel Balls of Quitdom.
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That is some very badass quitting! I love hearing these victories. They beat the hell out of hearing pussy cave stories! If you or anyone else needs night time contacts pm me anyone that know me well can tell you I have really messed up sleep patterns and I'm generally available!
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
Role models in posting roll!
:ph43r:
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
Role models in posting roll!
:ph43r:
I choose to look at it as saying hello to my friends each morning.
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
Role models in posting roll!
:ph43r:
I choose to look at it as saying hello to my friends each morning.
Hello friends.
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
Role models in posting roll!
:ph43r:
I choose to look at it as saying hello to my friends each morning.
Hello friends.
I agree with you all, it is a privilege to post roll and it is a privilege to have so many great friends and to be a part of such a great community. Which is kinda what I was saying in my own rambling way. Whenever I see the negatives of how I am dealing with my addiction all the positives come rushing back and destroy any little negative, whiny thoughts.
I love this place, full homo.
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Have not written in here in a long time, I really have nothing profound to say except that I posted roll today for the 495th consecutive day, and I don't foresee tomorrow being any different. I was starting to get annoyed that I am not cured, that I have to post roll everyday, I was starting to think it sucks to be reminded every morning that I am an addict. All those negative thoughts were fleeting at best because sure it'd be easier to just be "cured" but nothing in life worth having is easy, I am just as much of an addict as I was 496 days ago, but today I have chosen to be free, I've committed to all of you that I will stick with that choice today, all damn day.
Glad you're still around luby. You being here helps countless of guys remain quit. Myself included.
I look at it a little differently. I can understand the feeling of 'I HAVE to post roll!', but I don't look at Posting Roll as a burden anymore.
It's a privilege.
Proud to be quit with you today, brother.
Role models in posting roll!
:ph43r:
I choose to look at it as saying hello to my friends each morning.
Hello friends.
I agree with you all, it is a privilege to post roll and it is a privilege to have so many great friends and to be a part of such a great community. Which is kinda what I was saying in my own rambling way. Whenever I see the negatives of how I am dealing with my addiction all the positives come rushing back and destroy any little negative, whiny thoughts.
I love this place, full homo.
x 4
Missed this earlier and just wanted to hetero this thread up some. shocker
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Hey - today Luby hit 500 days nicotine free. He, like you and me, were once hopelessly lost to our addiction. Nic had been whispering in our ears for years, decades in most cases, that we had no choice. I had given up, I knew one day I'd die from my addiction and my biggest fear was how I was going to explain to my wife that I got mouth cancer when I had quit before we got married (like many of you, I didn't quit, I just hid it better). What we have learned over this past year plus is that nicotine was lying to us. We actually had a CHOICE. Luby has chosen to quit daily for 500 days, in the midst of personal struggles, a brutal work life, and constantly being around other dippers. How? He chose to. Thanks for showing me and so many others here what it means to CHOSE to be nicotine free. Today I chose to quit right alongside you. Congrat's man, you deserve it. If you're feeling adventurous this morning, how 'bout we blow up the Basterds (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4873) roll call and post alongside Luby and the rest of them.
Here's to 501!
'Cheers'
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Hey - today Luby hit 500 days nicotine free. He, like you and me, were once hopelessly lost to our addiction. Nic had been whispering in our ears for years, decades in most cases, that we had no choice. I had given up, I knew one day I'd die from my addiction and my biggest fear was how I was going to explain to my wife that I got mouth cancer when I had quit before we got married (like many of you, I didn't quit, I just hid it better). What we have learned over this past year plus is that nicotine was lying to us. We actually had a CHOICE. Luby has chosen to quit daily for 500 days, in the midst of personal struggles, a brutal work life, and constantly being around other dippers. How? He chose to. Thanks for showing me and so many others here what it means to CHOSE to be nicotine free. Today I chose to quit right alongside you. Congrat's man, you deserve it. If you're feeling adventurous this morning, how 'bout we blow up the Basterds (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4873) roll call and post alongside Luby and the rest of them.
Here's to 501!
'Cheers'
Nice work Luby!! 'Cheers'
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
You, my fellow Oregon brother, are a quit monster! Proud to know you... Proud to quit with you!
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
Glad to be quit with you my friend.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
Glad to be quit with you my friend.
The best.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
Glad to be quit with you my friend.
The best.
Peepers Like Fuck
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
Glad to be quit with you my friend.
The best.
Peepers Like Fuck
It has to hurt if its to heal, a wise old man told me that a long time ago and it stuck. I love lubes.
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Been reminiscing on my quit lately as I approach the two year mark. It all starts with my final attempt to quit before I found KTC, and that started 2 years ago today. I had just finished a brutal 20 days stretch of work and had made the decision I was done with the damn skoal mint, when that stretch was over, I had almost 3 week off work, I would be all good and quit when I headed back to work and all those temptations. My wife was at friends about an hour from where I worked and we were gonna spend memorial day together just hanging out. I chewed my face off all day and at the gas station closest to those friend house I chucked an almost empty can, all my spitters and I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
All hail luby!! Nice work buddy.
I was done, it felt good.
To be continued.
INDEED
Every damn day bro 'clap'
Just to clarify these posts will be about how I found KTC. The story gets a bit ugly before it gets better.
Glad to be quit with you my friend.
The best.
Peepers Like Fuck
It has to hurt if its to heal, a wise old man told me that a long time ago and it stuck. I love lubes.
I'll follow these quitters...anywhere, anytime!
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July 4th, 2011
First full day into what I really was feeling was my final quit. Spent the day at the lake with my wife and family. As a long time ninja (caught once in 12 years) being around family meant no dip any way, also I think because of the many times I had to abstain for days at a time and the many attempted quits I didn't get physical withdrawal symptoms that bad. Anyway spent a relaxing day at the lake drinking beer, while I would never advocate it, a few drinks kept me relaxed and off edge.
Anyway it was a good day 2 years ago, I was happy, I was even telling myself, and man this is painful to admit that I was "independent of tobacco"....
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July 4th, 2011
First full day into what I really was feeling was my final quit. Spent the day at the lake with my wife and family. As a long time ninja (caught once in 12 years) being around family meant no dip any way, also I think because of the many times I had to abstain for days at a time and the many attempted quits I didn't get physical withdrawal symptoms that bad. Anyway spent a relaxing day at the lake drinking beer, while I would never advocate it, a few drinks kept me relaxed and off edge.
Anyway it was a good day 2 years ago, I was happy, I was even telling myself, and man this is painful to admit that I was "independent of tobacco"....
Glad to be here and quit with you today bro...and every damn day for that matter.
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July 5, 2011
Long drive home from Seattle to Eugene, but I remember it well, I was with my wife so my new little attempt at quitting wasn't really threatened.. I also remember my wife drove cus my back was acting up and I took a couple pain pills and muscle relaxers that had me very relaxed. I remember being really, really happy that I wasn't chewing, happy that I wasn't wishing my wife wasn't there so I could chew the whole way home.... The third day into my last attempt was a good day.
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July 5, 2011
Long drive home from Seattle to Eugene, but I remember it well, I was with my wife so my new little attempt at quitting wasn't really threatened.. I also remember my wife drove cus my back was acting up and I took a couple pain pills and muscle relaxers that had me very relaxed. I remember being really, really happy that I wasn't chewing, happy that I wasn't wishing my wife wasn't there so I could chew the whole way home.... The third day into my last attempt was a good day.
Reading with great interest...
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July 5, 2011
Long drive home from Seattle to Eugene, but I remember it well, I was with my wife so my new little attempt at quitting wasn't really threatened.. I also remember my wife drove cus my back was acting up and I took a couple pain pills and muscle relaxers that had me very relaxed. I remember being really, really happy that I wasn't chewing, happy that I wasn't wishing my wife wasn't there so I could chew the whole way home.... The third day into my last attempt was a good day.
Reading with great interest...
#baited
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July 5, 2011
Long drive home from Seattle to Eugene, but I remember it well, I was with my wife so my new little attempt at quitting wasn't really threatened.. I also remember my wife drove cus my back was acting up and I took a couple pain pills and muscle relaxers that had me very relaxed. I remember being really, really happy that I wasn't chewing, happy that I wasn't wishing my wife wasn't there so I could chew the whole way home.... The third day into my last attempt was a good day.
Reading with great interest...
#baited
You are a fucking titan. When they finally turn this little fucking journey of yours into a movie (of which I hope to play the main character...true to form but nakeder) you will be remembered as a truly powerful force. I am glad you are here and have been here for me and the rest of this lot of addicts.
F UST
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July 6, 2011
As a long time ninja, also known as a lieing sack of addicted monkey shit, the 6th was my first reel test. My wife went back to work which meant I'd have the place to myself all day and that used to mean a long wasted day with a lip full of shame. I got through the 6th, don't remember it being that big of a deal, I worked out, made dinner, caught up on bills.... Just everyday life stuff, and I did it without dipping.
Seemed pretty easy so far.
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July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.
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July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.
'Popcorn'
Loving this.
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July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.
'Popcorn'
Loving this.
This so cool. What a great idea. Leave it to Lubes to think of something like this.
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July 7, 2011
I don't remember the specifics of this Thursday but I do know that today is when things started to go wrong, I didn't have any good reasons, other than the fact I am an addict, nor did I have any tools to deal with it, but "forever" was starting to look way too big. I also remember thinking in these early days of my last attempt that I wish one of my dipping friends was quitting as well so at least I had somebody to talk to, my most successful attempt up to this point me and a work buddy quit at the same time, that one lasted a couple months, this one was completely on my own, and it was getting really shakey, really quick.
'Popcorn'
Loving this.
This so cool. What a great idea. Leave it to Lubes to think of something like this.
'Popcorn'
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July 8, 2011
Friday morning, I woke up had a couple cups of coffee drove to the convenience store bought a big diet coke and can of Skoal Mint, drove home and put a dip in....
It was that simple.
It was almost like I wasn't even awake, all the addict parts of my brain had shut down the reasonable, logical parts. I had no tools to deal with this and I let it happen. I was not a part of KTC then, hell looking back on it I know I wasn't quit, it was an attempt and a half assed one at that. Over the next few days I will answer the three questions.
Looking back on it the most depressing part of this failure was the incredibly depressing reasoning behind it. There was no way I was gonna be able to quit forever so why even bother trying.
But I wasn't thinking that way on this day 2 years ago, my brain wasn't allowing logic for awhile, I wasn't even enjoying the lip full of cancer it was just pure auto pilot on that first dip.
Later that afternoon I had another dip before my wife came home and that is when addict logic started to take over. I remember thinking I was now gonna become the occasional dipper! I would not chew nearly the same amount, hell I'd just gone 5 days with no trouble I would do that on a regular basis, and at work where a can was lucky to get me through a day I would just have one or two.
That is where my mind was 2 years ago today.
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Love the random thoughts of reminiscing! Hope the newbies are picking up on this
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July 8, 2011
Friday morning, I woke up had a couple cups of coffee drove to the convenience store bought a big diet coke and can of Skoal Mint, drove home and put a dip in....
It was that simple.
It was almost like I wasn't even awake, all the addict parts of my brain had shut down the reasonable, logical parts. I had no tools to deal with this and I let it happen. I was not a part of KTC then, hell looking back on it I know I wasn't quit, it was an attempt and a half assed one at that. Over the next few days I will answer the three questions.
Looking back on it the most depressing part of this failure was the incredibly depressing reasoning behind it. There was no way I was gonna be able to quit forever so why even bother trying.
But I wasn't thinking that way on this day 2 years ago, my brain wasn't allowing logic for awhile, I wasn't even enjoying the lip full of cancer it was just pure auto pilot on that first dip.
Later that afternoon I had another dip before my wife came home and that is when addict logic started to take over. I remember thinking I was now gonna become the occasional dipper! I would not chew nearly the same amount, hell I'd just gone 5 days with no trouble I would do that on a regular basis, and at work where a can was lucky to get me through a day I would just have one or two.
That is where my mind was 2 years ago today.
Ahh the occasional dipper rationalization!! One of my faves! I "only dipped occassionally" for about 10 years at the rate of roughly a can a day. What a difference 2 years make!
Stay strong Luby my man. Stay strong. Proud to be quit with you.
Rangy96.
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July 9, 2011
The perfect day to test my new way of life as someone who dips a little. I had a two hour drive to Portland so I had one dip on the way, and planned for one more on the way home. In between drives I had to work 10 hours at a Major league socce game, not my favorite sport but it still pays. This being the case there would be no reason not to leave the can in my car, I of course put it in my bag and headed to work. I was on headsets early for the game and bored so I had another one, cus you know it was a work thing, then when the game was over I had a little quick one while I took down my camera, but it was smaller so it was all good. I can honestly say I was ignoring all rational thoughts that my quitting dip had turned into me justifying 2 dips and that those 2 dips had turned into four.....
I wasn't facing reality at all but my days as an occasional dipper were off to a fairly ugly beginning.
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July 9, 2011
The perfect day to test my new way of life as someone who dips a little. I had a two hour drive to Portland so I had one dip on the way, and planned for one more on the way home. In between drives I had to work 10 hours at a Major league socce game, not my favorite sport but it still pays. This being the case there would be no reason not to leave the can in my car, I of course put it in my bag and headed to work. I was on headsets early for the game and bored so I had another one, cus you know it was a work thing, then when the game was over I had a little quick one while I took down my camera, but it was smaller so it was all good. I can honestly say I was ignoring all rational thoughts that my quitting dip had turned into me justifying 2 dips and that those 2 dips had turned into four.....
I wasn't facing reality at all but my days as an occasional dipper were off to a fairly ugly beginning.
Their is such a thing as an occasional dipper? Damn wish I knew that in my 20's. I was 2 cans a day for almost 17 years. Maybe that was occasional..... Glad to see you posted this. It's clear we cannot CONTROL our addiction. The only way it works is none at all!
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Love the random thoughts of reminiscing! Hope the newbies are picking up on this
I am.....
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Oh yeah. I am picking it up loud and clear. I am sure others are as well. I am left wondering if other fellow quitters are smiling as big as I was when reading these last comments. Not smiling because it is a joke. I am smiling because I am happy I am beginning to recognize the idiotic thinking now a I had before. I know I have to stay on top of this as I sat and still sit here fighting some of that perverse addiction thinking just a few minutes ago.
This reminiscing can be fun but us newbies need to be careful. From the addiction world this is called Euphoric Recall. That is when we reminisce of a time we used and had positive experiences with our drug of choice. It is a subconscious attempt by our addiction to get us consciously thinking about using again and only associating the positive feelings with it. That way we are more likely to cave. Boys becareful with this. Especially us newbies. You can't prevent it just make sure you get yourself out or thinking about the negative aspects as quick as possible. Basically, RIGHT NOW!!!
Man I love this site and the input guys give. This is strength that keeps me focused. It is Awesome! :D
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Damn this is good stuff!
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Them damn defense mechanisms. The can block out all kinds of crap for awhile. Good for you to realize that messed up thinking though.
Bye the way LionHeartedGirl please for give me when you read my posts and they say "guys" as inclusive for all on the forum. I know there are great women out there fighting this Nic crap and giving great feedback as well. You Specifically!!!!! It is just a habit.
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Love me some Luby! Thank you, dude.
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Them damn defense mechanisms. The can block out all kinds of crap for awhile. Good for you to realize that messed up thinking though.
Bye the way LionHeartedGirl please for give me when you read my posts and they say "guys" as inclusive for all on the forum. I know there are great women out there fighting this Nic crap and giving great feedback as well. You Specifically!!!!! It is just a habit.
I don't mind. When I'm in the locker room (that's how I think of this place) I know I'm gonna be "one of the boys". :)
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Love me some Luby! Thank you, dude.
I was never a ninja dipper. Its cool to see the other side. I have really enjoyed your reminiscing. Excellent!!
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July 10 11
Two days that were basically the same day. My wife had Sunday and Monday off so as a ninja it was easier to be a guy who uses less, since even before my monumnetal, geniuos idea to be an occasional dipper I never dipped in front of my wife. She did go workout each morning however and I managed to shove one in my face each day. Looking back what I remember most about these two days (and actually Tuesday and Wednesday of my last attempt fall into this category as well) is just how in denial I was. I had tried to quit for years and I had really built this one up in my mind, I did not even make it a week yet I was feeling no regret, no shame, and I'd been feeling ashamed for years. This time was such a colossal failure my mind wouldn't even think about it yet. Almost like I was in shock and not facing the reality of the situation.
Love me some Luby! Thank you, dude.
I was never a ninja dipper. Its cool to see the other side. I have really enjoyed your reminiscing. Excellent!!
Man I know what you mean about the shame being so intense you could t even face it. I lived in such shame for years. Coming out of that pit, that despair, that pathetic place where we lied to the ones we love and ourselves, is one of the things that makes the FREEDOM especially sweet for me. Shine the light of truth on all the lies and the addiction and freedom will be yours. Damn I love Luby.
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July 12 13
Two days that looking back on I can't differentiate between the two. Basically this is when "occasional dipper" charade came crashing down, not that it ever really existed any where but inside my addict brain, but these two days I didn't even bother justifying my use to myself, I just chewed. My wife was back at work and my pathetic ninja ass just chewed the whole day away while she was gone.
The reality of what I was doing still hadn't quite set in, I felt worthless and weak but I still had that macho, addict rational that I would just quit whenever I wanted to....
I hadn't quite hit rock bottom but I was starting to see it.
Even though I was not a part of KTC yet I will now answer the 3 questions....
1) What Happened?
I was such an unaware addict that buying a can and chewing when it was available was almost as natural as breathing. Too much of my addict brain, controlled too much of freedom desiring brain to stop the addict part.
2) Why did it happen?
I was weak. Simple really, I still am. I am an addict and I am not strong enough to break my chains by myself, I need help. I had no help back then, I couldn't turn to my wife or family because they didn't know, I couldn't turn to my friends because they all chew (still do amazingly enough) and I had not found KTC yet.
3) What will I do different this time
Find KTC, use it first and foremost to educate myself. The support has helped me countless times but the most important thing for me was to learn I am an addict, I am not gonna be strong enough on my own at times but I don't need to be. I have dozens of numbers in my phone, I have hundreds of people I could turn to on this site and if that is not enough I could reach out to everyone here and get the help I need. What I will do differently next time (and have done for almost two years) is fight like a basterd all damn day, every damn day, and if I need help in my fight I know where to find it.
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Congrats on two years Luby!! You prove that it can be done and life on this side is so much sweeter. Enjoy your day!
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Thursday July 14, 2011
First off thanks for the two years congrats, it is greatly appreciated but my true quit day is not until tomorrow because of the extra day in leap year. I usually don't really care but I want my little look back to be accurate and Thurday the 14th was probably as important to my finding KTC as the day I actually did it.
I remember I was up earlier than normal (when I am home off work I sleep in) I was wasting time on the computer with a dip in when I got a last second invite to play in a golf tourny. I am a freelancer and a couple influential people in my business was part of a foursome that had a last second cancellation. I usually don't run with the decision maker types but this was a good opportunity and it was free golf at a very nice course. I dropped everything and headed for the course.
Even at work where most people know I dipped I always kept it away when I was with the big wigs, every gig in my profession is competitive and I don't want people to have any reason to think less of me. None of that mattered on this day, though I chewed the whole round, no hiding it at all, just didn't care. I think the two clients was with just thought I was knucklehead but my boss type that had invited me gave me a lot of weird looks.
It hit me on the way home from the course just how bad I was getting, I had gone from quit, to every once in awhile, to full blown ninja mode, to actually worse than I had been before my big "July 4th Quit day".
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Friday July 15, 2011. The last day I dipped or used nicotine in any form.
All I remember for most of the day is being utterly defeated. I had lost, I was resigned to my fate. I couldn't quit, of all the attempts I had made this was the one I had put all my faith in and I had failed miserably. I was as ashamed of myself as I had ever been.
There was one little trigger that sent me to the internet, I was running errands and heard an ad on the radio for nicotine cessation study that the University of Oregon was running, it sounded like it was for college kids but I kinda stowed the info and thought I'd check in out later.
That night my wife went to bed early and I had probably a bit too much to drink reached for the Ipad and decided to look up the study I had heard about earlier, I found nothing on it but KTC popped up and I read a little, I got excited thinking this could really help. I managed to sign up for an account but I couldn't manage to do much else on the Ipad. I actually posted in September '11 totally screwed it up too. I post something in general discussion as well got really frustrated and went to bed thinking I'd found something that gave me a little hope but I was too computer stupid to figure it out.
The next morning I checked my phone and had a email from Chewie offering to help that email got me back on the site and I had pm's from DennyX and eafman. Texting and pm's with those two got me through the first 3 days when I had no idea what a roll post even was. The next week when my wife went back to work I lived on the site, read everything I could, spent a LOT of time in chat started posting roll daily, I have now done that for the last 731 days, and I don't plan on going anywhere.
So that is it, for me it all started with my last failure on my own. I found the help I needed and have lived free for 2 years. Is it easy? Most of the time, but there are still rough days, but I have the tools to deal with those days.
I love it here, and as horrible as I felt 2 years ago it was worth it to find KTC.
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Well Done Luby!!!
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Congrats, Luby. You're an inspiration.
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Thank you, bro! I think we all have stories that have similar, if not identical, components. I'm glad you're a neighbor. It makes all of this more real. Proud to quit with you man!
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After 2 years quit it's still the little things.... Today I vacuumed out my car, this is the first nice car I've ever had, I'm not a car guy at all, so I have always been fine with a decent used car that runs, plus I'm kinda cheap so spending big coin on a car never appealed to me. So I'm vacuuming my nice new to me car and I realized I haven't vacuumed a car since I quit. One reason was my last car
was kind of a pile and I didn't care, another reason is I'm kinda lazy, but the main reason without dipping the car stays pretty damn clean. I remember what a chore it was with all the chew bits everywhere, plus I was a ninja so I had to vacuum all the fucking time to keep it decent. Cleaning the car way less often just another of the infinite number of reasons to quit!
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After 2 years quit it's still the little things.... Today I vacuumed out my car, this is the first nice car I've ever had, I'm not a car guy at all, so I have always been fine with a decent used car that runs, plus I'm kinda cheap so spending big coin on a car never appealed to me. So I'm vacuuming my nice new to me car and I realized I haven't vacuumed a car since I quit. One reason was my last car
was kind of a pile and I didn't care, another reason is I'm kinda lazy, but the main reason without dipping the car stays pretty damn clean. I remember what a chore it was with all the chew bits everywhere, plus I was a ninja so I had to vacuum all the fucking time to keep it decent. Cleaning the car way less often just another of the infinite number of reasons to quit!
Thank You. You've been there always for me to look up to as an example in quitting. I always enjoy your comments.
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After 2 years quit it's still the little things.... Today I vacuumed out my car, this is the first nice car I've ever had, I'm not a car guy at all, so I have always been fine with a decent used car that runs, plus I'm kinda cheap so spending big coin on a car never appealed to me. So I'm vacuuming my nice new to me car and I realized I haven't vacuumed a car since I quit. One reason was my last car
was kind of a pile and I didn't care, another reason is I'm kinda lazy, but the main reason without dipping the car stays pretty damn clean. I remember what a chore it was with all the chew bits everywhere, plus I was a ninja so I had to vacuum all the fucking time to keep it decent. Cleaning the car way less often just another of the infinite number of reasons to quit!
Thank You. You've been there always for me to look up to as an example in quitting. I always enjoy your comments.
I really appreciate you saying that, this Community has meant so much to me whenever I feel like I've given back a little it makes me happy because I owe this place so much.
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I had a shitty summer. I posted roll everyday and between that and all the buddies I knew I could count on if needed a cave was never a threat but it was a rough summer, I worked too much, drove too much, traveled too much. I was at way too many baseball games with my coworkers all dipping, it was harder than I would of liked, had a lot of the "fuck it's" but I muddled through one day at a time. The best thing about crap times like that is no matter your day count when you manage to show the crappy times that you will face whatever they have to give and you will do it free from the bonds of shame, that when you triumph each day the intoxication of freedom is just that much sweeter.
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I had a shitty summer. I posted roll everyday and between that and all the buddies I knew I could count on if needed a cave was never a threat but it was a rough summer, I worked too much, drove too much, traveled too much. I was at way too many baseball games with my coworkers all dipping, it was harder than I would of liked, had a lot of the "fuck it's" but I muddled through one day at a time. The best thing about crap times like that is no matter your day count when you manage to show the crappy times that you will face whatever they have to give and you will do it free from the bonds of shame, that when you triumph each day the intoxication of freedom is just that much sweeter.
Luby,
You are a role model to quitters on here and I hope that you can continue to inspire and stay quit. Thank you for being a quitter.
Pinched
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I had a shitty summer. I posted roll everyday and between that and all the buddies I knew I could count on if needed a cave was never a threat but it was a rough summer, I worked too much, drove too much, traveled too much. I was at way too many baseball games with my coworkers all dipping, it was harder than I would of liked, had a lot of the "fuck it's" but I muddled through one day at a time. The best thing about crap times like that is no matter your day count when you manage to show the crappy times that you will face whatever they have to give and you will do it free from the bonds of shame, that when you triumph each day the intoxication of freedom is just that much sweeter.
Luby,
You are a role model to quitters on here and I hope that you can continue to inspire and stay quit. Thank you for being a quitter.
Pinched
Bro... Proud to be your neighbor, proud to be a quit brother with you! Good stuff man. Thanks for being an example of Rock Solid Quit!
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I had a shitty summer. I posted roll everyday and between that and all the buddies I knew I could count on if needed a cave was never a threat but it was a rough summer, I worked too much, drove too much, traveled too much. I was at way too many baseball games with my coworkers all dipping, it was harder than I would of liked, had a lot of the "fuck it's" but I muddled through one day at a time. The best thing about crap times like that is no matter your day count when you manage to show the crappy times that you will face whatever they have to give and you will do it free from the bonds of shame, that when you triumph each day the intoxication of freedom is just that much sweeter.
Wow, congrats on making it through a tough summer! You're right about the freedom being that much sweeter though! :D
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Luby 845 this is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any other form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise every day because even 845 days in without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 846 days ago. But not today, motherfucker, not today.
This was my roll post today. I hate to tell guys fighting thru the first days that there will still be suck this far along, but there will be. WE ARE ADDICTS. Its that simple, we will never be cured most days are great but there are still times when this shitty, awful, addictive drug calls to us. Easy solution post roll, and live up to your word, it is what I did today, and I'll do it again first thing tomorrow.
Quit with this awesome community today.
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Luby 845 this is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any other form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise every day because even 845 days in without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 846 days ago. But not today, motherfucker, not today.
This was my roll post today. I hate to tell guys fighting thru the first days that there will still be suck this far along, but there will be. WE ARE ADDICTS. Its that simple, we will never be cured most days are great but there are still times when this shitty, awful, addictive drug calls to us. Easy solution post roll, and live up to your word, it is what I did today, and I'll do it again first thing tomorrow.
Quit with this awesome community today.
Hell yeah my friend.
When we start posting roll here, it's because we have to. We're doing EVERYTHING in our power to stay quit. We claw. We fight. We learn tools to help us cope. Let's face it...we're fucked up.
But life moves along.
The quit becomes easier.
The quitting pendulum is out of "suck" territory and now everything is sunshine and rainbows. There's so much of this program you can utilize in your life in just about everything you do. "We can only control our actions." "We have today." "Lean on your friends when you need it."
Life is good until that pendulum comes back. It hits us like a freight train, but it never is as bad as it started out. It hurts, and it's surprising.
When times are good, practice for the bad (Which you've done).
When times are bad, lean on what you've learned (Which you're doing).
You got this bud. Ain't no shame in being an addict.
(and, in case you were wondering....)
By WhoDey
I'll tell ya, I still get an urge every now and then. Nothing serious but there is always that thought about possibly some day dipping again. I was just browsing around the main killthecan.org site when I saw the Tom and Jenny Kern story on there. It has been years since I have been on their caring bridge site so I went over and started reading the recent journal entries and guestbook entries. It is amazing and painful to read how Tom's story continues to affect not only those who are quitting but also how the loss of Tom is still affecting their family. I am literally sitting at my desk crying. I read a post from his daughter like the one below, and can barely contain myself. I tell you what, if I ever get close to going back I hope I have the good sense to go back to their site and start reading. Heart breaking and inspiring all mixed together.
"Hey dad!
Well today is the day that Alexa leaves for school. I thought I would be so excited for her to go since I will finally not have to be her second mom...reminding her to clean her room, do the dishes, help with laundry, well basically cleaning up after herself...which we all know if a life or death situation for her. Well I am actually sad. (don't tell mom, she will do the "I told you so" thing) Kenra, Lexa, and I had so much fun last night just hanging out, dancing, and just talking.m Now I am at home cleaning her room, bathroom, and closet..because it is now mine. I thinking of her moving in and you should be there helping. When you go to college your dad should be there helping you carry all of the big things, giving you a big hug and as your pretending not to be scared to be on your own you should be there saying it will be okay kiddo, you can call when anytime. But your not. I am so mad that you are not here to watch all of us grow up and here for every waking moment. I wish you could be hear for us and give us that hug and call us kiddo or pumpkin. Well I miss you dad and love you so much!"
WOW!!
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/index.htm (http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/index.htm)
Every Newb (and Vet) should read this page from the bottom up.
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/history.htm (http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/history.htm)
WhoDey - 1,894 days Nic free.
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT
'BanDog'
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT
'BanDog'
'BanDog'
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT
'BanDog'
'BanDog'
damn man, next year maybe we speak to one another before the season...as think you saw what I went through and felt the same.
but remember as its never again as we just keep kicking this.
right there with you brother.
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Holiday rant.
The holidays suck for me. This time of year means one of my busiest work times, and inside that business I wedge out a couple days of family time. My wife and I don't have kids and we've always been the ones to make everything work for everyone, so lots of driving, lots of family, lots of stress.
I have been very reminiscent in my quit this year, I don't why, don't particularly care whether there is a good reason or not. Any way in years past as the addicted ninja pile of crap I was I would chew every second I could when I was alone and then go long periods without, as we all know that led to making the stress even worse, as I loaded nicotine into my system and then went hours and hours going through slow withdrawal. Fun.
Anyway this year has been particularly brutal schedule wise, and stress wise. Work is part of that, my marriage is part of that, and other factors too.
Anyway all I know is I am so thankful for KTC and my quit. I feel kinda powerless in life sometimes but I know I have the power to meet my addiction head on and win that battle each day as I post roll, keep my word and know any help I need is a text message, a phone call, a pm or any other resource KTC presents away. I am blessed to have brothers in arms that I can count on.
I know there are good times and bad and I know I am an addict, but I know I will not succumb today, and today that is all that matters.
Merry Christmas quitters, I am not a good enough writer to express how much this community means to me, just know there is a stressed out quitter on the west coast that tears up a little when he thinks about how good the freedom feels and how grateful he is for how this wonderful group of misfit toys has helped him.
Thank you all.
I am moved and feel the exact same way. Thanks for this post AMD Merry Christmas to you.
Thank You Luby for sharing that and God Bless You and your family......ODAAT
'BanDog'
'BanDog'
damn man, next year maybe we speak to one another before the season...as think you saw what I went through and felt the same.
but remember as its never again as we just keep kicking this.
right there with you brother.
Got room for one more
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Dear John (damn I get to write a Dear John letter),
Well brother congrats on day 900 today. You recently helped pull my head from my ass when I was in a funk, for that owe you. You are a great quitter, a good man and what I consider a damn good friend.
I appreciate everything you do and I look forward to many more +1s with you. Keep on keeping on and I will keep on watching sporting events just waiting to see a spat sunflower seed husk fly across the TV screen.
Thanks,
Corey
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A New Years Eve toast to a great quitter and fellow former ninja! Proud to be quit with you today as you celebrate your 900th day of freedom! Post roll and repeat.......
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My fellow Oregon brother!!
900 days. Badass. Thanks for being around John. From the start of my quit you've been a big help and steady supporter. Hats off to you man!
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'BanDog'
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'BanDog'
Don't bogart the Luby
'BanDog'
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'BanDog'
Don't bogart the Luby
'BanDog'
900 'BanDog'
Congrats.
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
thank you Luby, at least I am not the only one who is seeing this....
I think I will quit beer, by drinking bourbon....but I quit it...... 'Crazy'
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
Holy smokes I hear ya Luby. The "freedom" claim pisses me off also. They don't know freedom, they have no clue. Today I posted 954 days of freedom in a row, THAT'S FREEDOM! We covered a similar topic in Sept 11 a while back and tgafish nailed it: even if someone found out that nicotine wasn't bad for you or was EVEN healthy, I'd NEVER EVER do it in any for EVER. Why? Simple: because I'm nobody's bitch. You hear that? I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. The days of being whooped by nic are done. The days of hiding are done. I own it today and there's no changing that. I OWN IT. Because I quit for me, and (to quote you) the freedom is intoxicating. Intoxicating.
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
Holy smokes I hear ya Luby. The "freedom" claim pisses me off also. They don't know freedom, they have no clue. Today I posted 954 days of freedom in a row, THAT'S FREEDOM! We covered a similar topic in Sept 11 a while back and tgafish nailed it: even if someone found out that nicotine wasn't bad for you or was EVEN healthy, I'd NEVER EVER do it in any for EVER. Why? Simple: because I'm nobody's bitch. You hear that? I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. The days of being whooped by nic are done. The days of hiding are done. I own it today and there's no changing that. I OWN IT. Because I quit for me, and (to quote you) the freedom is intoxicating. Intoxicating.
Hell yeah I hear ya..."I'M NOBODYS BITCH". I love it.
Quit on...
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
Holy smokes I hear ya Luby. The "freedom" claim pisses me off also. They don't know freedom, they have no clue. Today I posted 954 days of freedom in a row, THAT'S FREEDOM! We covered a similar topic in Sept 11 a while back and tgafish nailed it: even if someone found out that nicotine wasn't bad for you or was EVEN healthy, I'd NEVER EVER do it in any for EVER. Why? Simple: because I'm nobody's bitch. You hear that? I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. The days of being whooped by nic are done. The days of hiding are done. I own it today and there's no changing that. I OWN IT. Because I quit for me, and (to quote you) the freedom is intoxicating. Intoxicating.
Hell yeah I hear ya..."I'M NOBODYS BITCH". I love it.
Quit on...
True story:
(Coach Steve is hanging out at the beach condo when his wife and her old friend from high school return from dinner and drinks)
CS: Hello wife
Mrs. CS: Hello husband, this is Sarah my old friend from high school
CS: Hi Sarah
Sarah: Hi Coach Steve
Mrs. CS: So Sarah...CS quit dipping over a year ago, maybe he can give you some pointers
CS: Oh, you want to quit smoking?
Sarah: {pulling out an electronic death stick and taking a puff} Yeah....I've pretty much quit
CS: What do you mean pretty much?
Sarah: Well I still smoke a few cigs every day
CS:{biting his tongue} Oh....yeah...I see. I think you really have to quit the substance of it
Sarah: Yeah that's what I'm doing
CS: {opening the fridge for another beer and making a sarcastic face because he doesn't want to embarrass his wife by telling her friend that she's an addicted fool} Ok.....
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
Holy smokes I hear ya Luby. The "freedom" claim pisses me off also. They don't know freedom, they have no clue. Today I posted 954 days of freedom in a row, THAT'S FREEDOM! We covered a similar topic in Sept 11 a while back and tgafish nailed it: even if someone found out that nicotine wasn't bad for you or was EVEN healthy, I'd NEVER EVER do it in any for EVER. Why? Simple: because I'm nobody's bitch. You hear that? I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. The days of being whooped by nic are done. The days of hiding are done. I own it today and there's no changing that. I OWN IT. Because I quit for me, and (to quote you) the freedom is intoxicating. Intoxicating.
Hell yeah I hear ya..."I'M NOBODYS BITCH". I love it.
Quit on...
True story:
(Coach Steve is hanging out at the beach condo when his wife and her old friend from high school return from dinner and drinks)
CS: Hello wife
Mrs. CS: Hello husband, this is Sarah my old friend from high school
CS: Hi Sarah
Sarah: Hi Coach Steve
Mrs. CS: So Sarah...CS quit dipping over a year ago, maybe he can give you some pointers
CS: Oh, you want to quit smoking?
Sarah: {pulling out an electronic death stick and taking a puff} Yeah....I've pretty much quit
CS: What do you mean pretty much?
Sarah: Well I still smoke a few cigs every day
CS:{biting his tongue} Oh....yeah...I see. I think you really have to quit the substance of it
Sarah: Yeah that's what I'm doing
CS: {opening the fridge for another beer and making a sarcastic face because he doesn't want to embarrass his wife by telling her friend that she's an addicted fool} Ok.....
Right on Luby! I wanna punch those dick actors in the throat every time I see a commercial for one of those things. Funny what some people think of as freedom...
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If I may borrow Coach Steve's soap box its time for a rant.
I am so sick of seeing people who "quit" smoking sucking on those fucking e cigs. I am also pissed at the advertising, with lines like "take back your freedom". I've talked to couple of people who "quit" and are inhaling addictive drugs every chance the get, and they brag about how they are quit, I've also done the math for them and everyone I've talked to is sucking more nicotine into their systems than they were when they were just smoking. I have not come across someone claiming to be off chew using these stupid things, that would probably really set me off.
Then they say that taking large amounts of an addictive substance is better for them because they aren't smoking, first that sounds like absolute horseshit to me and second how do they know it isn't bad for them no one has studied these little death devices they could be even worse for them.
We here at KTC know what a real quit is, we know what real freedom is, but I'd like to spend a few minutes alone in a room with the fuckers that are calling those e cigs freedom.
Everyone keep posting roll and fuck nicotine one day at a time and enjoy the true freedom from slavery that we earned the right way.
Thanks Coach, you can have your soap box back.
You're welcome Peeps. Only problem is that Gmann says I have to start charging rent for use of the soapbox. I think he said they're raising money to buy Nolaq a new color printer...or something like that? When I asked him why I had to charge rent he said, "Because they is no such thing as free speech." FUGM
The next asshat that exhales a big ol cloud of their "vapor" anywhere near me is going to eat that fucking thing.
Oh, and to the dumbasses that wear them like some kind of status symbol - eat a bag. You are as dumb as you look. 'Finger'
People using those things look like test monkeys to me!!! Looks so anal watching them susk on those things. The nic in those things still increases your blood pressure and is addictive, so they can't be good for you.
Holy smokes I hear ya Luby. The "freedom" claim pisses me off also. They don't know freedom, they have no clue. Today I posted 954 days of freedom in a row, THAT'S FREEDOM! We covered a similar topic in Sept 11 a while back and tgafish nailed it: even if someone found out that nicotine wasn't bad for you or was EVEN healthy, I'd NEVER EVER do it in any for EVER. Why? Simple: because I'm nobody's bitch. You hear that? I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. The days of being whooped by nic are done. The days of hiding are done. I own it today and there's no changing that. I OWN IT. Because I quit for me, and (to quote you) the freedom is intoxicating. Intoxicating.
Hell yeah I hear ya..."I'M NOBODYS BITCH". I love it.
Quit on...
True story:
(Coach Steve is hanging out at the beach condo when his wife and her old friend from high school return from dinner and drinks)
CS: Hello wife
Mrs. CS: Hello husband, this is Sarah my old friend from high school
CS: Hi Sarah
Sarah: Hi Coach Steve
Mrs. CS: So Sarah...CS quit dipping over a year ago, maybe he can give you some pointers
CS: Oh, you want to quit smoking?
Sarah: {pulling out an electronic death stick and taking a puff} Yeah....I've pretty much quit
CS: What do you mean pretty much?
Sarah: Well I still smoke a few cigs every day
CS:{biting his tongue} Oh....yeah...I see. I think you really have to quit the substance of it
Sarah: Yeah that's what I'm doing
CS: {opening the fridge for another beer and making a sarcastic face because he doesn't want to embarrass his wife by telling her friend that she's an addicted fool} Ok.....
Right on Luby! I wanna punch those dick actors in the throat every time I see a commercial for one of those things. Funny what some people think of as freedom...
Brother I am right there with you. Yesterday while at the hospital with my mother, I saw and Cardio Pulmonologist walk outside to go smoke their e-Cig. I know this is bad but I wanted to take the edge of my hand and chop him really hard in the throat then smile as I state that I just thought I would speed up the process for him.
On top of that I saw an advertisement for Copenhagen on one of those LED displays in the hospital.
No matter what fuck em all, I quit!
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Comma
Total badass bro! Congratulations! Proud as hell to quit with you every day m'man!
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Since I have been quit and using this site, I have saved my life, learned and added special butterfly and throat punch to my vocabulary, and drank enough watch the West Arm of Grand Traverse Bay is a foot shallower. I quit with you today.
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
Congrats Luby .... comma is a fine milestone!
I look forward to continuing to QLF ODAAT with you.
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
Congrats Luby .... comma is a fine milestone!
I look forward to continuing to QLF ODAAT with you.
'boob' 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Brotha....
So fucking proud of you man!
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
Congrats Luby .... comma is a fine milestone!
I look forward to continuing to QLF ODAAT with you.
'boob' 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Brotha....
So fucking proud of you man!
Awesome man its a great milestone it is nice to see you posting all the groups you do even with a comma.
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
Congrats Luby .... comma is a fine milestone!
I look forward to continuing to QLF ODAAT with you.
'boob' 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Brotha....
So fucking proud of you man!
Awesome man its a great milestone it is nice to see you posting all the groups you do even with a comma.
Congrats!
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You have become quite a friend beyond being a fantastic support net for quitting. You always seem to be there with a text or a PM when I need it most. I quit with you each and every day and I am damn glad to have a guy like you helping guide me on this journey.
Congrats on 1,00 days, and thank you for still being here and helping others along their path too.
'BanDog' and one more 'BanDog' for my beloved Peepers
'Cheers' Congrats Luby! Nicely done!
Congrats Luby .... comma is a fine milestone!
I look forward to continuing to QLF ODAAT with you.
'boob' 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Brotha....
So fucking proud of you man!
Awesome man its a great milestone it is nice to see you posting all the groups you do even with a comma.
Congrats!
Much Love bro. Full frontal Ghey
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I thought I'd feel like a million bucks today, and while I do feel great, mostly what I feel is humble gratitude. I have so much love for the KTC community, all my friends here and what this place has done.... I would never be quit 1,000 days any other way than what we have here. One day at a time, all damn day. I do plan on writing a speech for the Hall of Legends, probably gonna have to wait until I can wrap my mind around the fact I have actually qualified to do so.
I will say today, to all my quit brothers.
This is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise everyday because even now without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 1,000 days ago, but not today motherfucker, not today.
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I thought I'd feel like a million bucks today, and while I do feel great, mostly what I feel is humble gratitude. I have so much love for the KTC community, all my friends here and what this place has done.... I would never be quit 1,000 days any other way than what we have here. One day at a time, all damn day. I do plan on writing a speech for the Hall of Legends, probably gonna have to wait until I can wrap my mind around the fact I have actually qualified to do so.
I will say today, to all my quit brothers.
This is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise everyday because even now without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 1,000 days ago, but not today motherfucker, not today.
Congrats on 1k. "But not today motherfucker, not today." That about says it all right there!
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I thought I'd feel like a million bucks today, and while I do feel great, mostly what I feel is humble gratitude. I have so much love for the KTC community, all my friends here and what this place has done.... I would never be quit 1,000 days any other way than what we have here. One day at a time, all damn day. I do plan on writing a speech for the Hall of Legends, probably gonna have to wait until I can wrap my mind around the fact I have actually qualified to do so.
I will say today, to all my quit brothers.
This is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise everyday because even now without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 1,000 days ago, but not today motherfucker, not today.
Congrats on 1k. "But not today motherfucker, not today." That about says it all right there!
ATTA BOY LUBY!!! YOU DA MAN!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD QUIT!!!
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I thought I'd feel like a million bucks today, and while I do feel great, mostly what I feel is humble gratitude. I have so much love for the KTC community, all my friends here and what this place has done.... I would never be quit 1,000 days any other way than what we have here. One day at a time, all damn day. I do plan on writing a speech for the Hall of Legends, probably gonna have to wait until I can wrap my mind around the fact I have actually qualified to do so.
I will say today, to all my quit brothers.
This is my promise to not chew today, or use the drug nicotine in any form. This promise is important to me because as much as I wish it were not true I need to make this promise everyday because even now without this promise I am vulnerable, I am addicted to chewing tobacco, I am one trip to the store, one can, one lip full of shame away from being the same sorry sack of shit I was 1,000 days ago, but not today motherfucker, not today.
Congrats on 1k. "But not today motherfucker, not today." That about says it all right there!
ATTA BOY LUBY!!! YOU DA MAN!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD QUIT!!!
Congrats, and thank you for showing us the way!
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First and foremost, FU! Secondly, congrats on the 12th floor Luby! Thanks for looking out for me and FU texts each morning. Nothing like an FU to get a brother fired up to quit every day. You're badass through and through. It means a lot to me that you stuck around so that guys like me get to benefit from your quit. It's an awesome example for all of us. FU!
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First and foremost, FU! Secondly, congrats on the 12th floor Luby! Thanks for looking out for me and FU texts each morning. Nothing like an FU to get a brother fired up to quit every day. You're badass through and through. It means a lot to me that you stuck around so that guys like me get to benefit from your quit. It's an awesome example for all of us. FU!
Congrats on the 12th floor
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First and foremost, FU! Secondly, congrats on the 12th floor Luby! Thanks for looking out for me and FU texts each morning. Nothing like an FU to get a brother fired up to quit every day. You're badass through and through. It means a lot to me that you stuck around so that guys like me get to benefit from your quit. It's an awesome example for all of us. FU!
Congrats on the 12th floor
Congrats Luby, truly badass!
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First and foremost, FU! Secondly, congrats on the 12th floor Luby! Thanks for looking out for me and FU texts each morning. Nothing like an FU to get a brother fired up to quit every day. You're badass through and through. It means a lot to me that you stuck around so that guys like me get to benefit from your quit. It's an awesome example for all of us. FU!
Congrats on the 12th floor
Congrats Luby, truly badass!
Luby Luby (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1p1dM3snQ) say we gotta go now!
'oh yeah'
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First and foremost, FU! Secondly, congrats on the 12th floor Luby! Thanks for looking out for me and FU texts each morning. Nothing like an FU to get a brother fired up to quit every day. You're badass through and through. It means a lot to me that you stuck around so that guys like me get to benefit from your quit. It's an awesome example for all of us. FU!
Congrats on the 12th floor
Congrats Luby, truly badass!
Luby Luby (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1p1dM3snQ) say we gotta go now!
'oh yeah'
nice work, peepers!
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I always intend to write something eloquent and meaningful and then you fucks come along and knock me speechless, which is damn hard to do! Someday I'll be able to put into words what being a part of this community means to me, what having brothers like you all to fight with side by side means to me, how much I love the freedom I have because of all of you. Until the day I can properly express that all I have is my undieing appreciation, thanks.
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I always intend to write something eloquent and meaningful and then you fucks come along and knock me speechless, which is damn hard to do! Someday I'll be able to put into words what being a part of this community means to me, what having brothers like you all to fight with side by side means to me, how much I love the freedom I have because of all of you. Until the day I can properly express that all I have is my undieing appreciation, thanks.
shhhhh........ 'BanDog'
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I always intend to write something eloquent and meaningful and then you fucks come along and knock me speechless, which is damn hard to do! Someday I'll be able to put into words what being a part of this community means to me, what having brothers like you all to fight with side by side means to me, how much I love the freedom I have because of all of you. Until the day I can properly express that all I have is my undieing appreciation, thanks.
shhhhh........ 'BanDog'
'hit it'
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I always intend to write something eloquent and meaningful and then you fucks come along and knock me speechless, which is damn hard to do! Someday I'll be able to put into words what being a part of this community means to me, what having brothers like you all to fight with side by side means to me, how much I love the freedom I have because of all of you. Until the day I can properly express that all I have is my undieing appreciation, thanks.
shhhhh........ 'BanDog'
'hit it'
I'll follow Luby anywhere. Except when he's following ERDVM! LOL
Rock Star of Quit = Luby the badass quitter
Thank you for being here EDD.
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I hit 1200 days the other day, it was cool, milestones are still fun but I remember hitting Hall of Fame, hitting a year quit, hitting my comma and I won't lie hitting 1200 was just a bit of shrug and a little smile. Frankly as much as a milestone is fun, the best part is the support I still get from so many that are in this fight with me. I am a West Coaster and when i am home I usually sleep in, so by the time I post roll I am one of the last to do it, and I am usually overwhelmed with the support and congratulations I wake up to. What we have here is pretty damn cool and I could not be more grateful to be a part of it.
That said, I haven't been that involved on here in quite awhile, I post with my Crossfit for Quitters group and I post roll every day, I will swing by intros every now and again but for the most part I am not around much, and I kinda regret that. I would like to remedy it, and I am going to try and do that. All that said, the main thing is I post roll everyday, never missed a day, not in the 1208, I think officially I fell through the cracks on a bump once or twice or my texted promise didn't make it, but the promise has been made every day.
I am an addict and without making that promise I am one trip to the store from a lip full of shame and a can a day habit, without that promise I am a fragile step from losing the freedom I cherish so much, and from damaging friendships that mean the world to me. So while I haven't been as involved as I like I still make that promise, not today, motherfucker, not today.
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I hit 1200 days the other day, it was cool, milestones are still fun but I remember hitting Hall of Fame, hitting a year quit, hitting my comma and I won't lie hitting 1200 was just a bit of shrug and a little smile. Frankly as much as a milestone is fun, the best part is the support I still get from so many that are in this fight with me. I am a West Coaster and when i am home I usually sleep in, so by the time I post roll I am one of the last to do it, and I am usually overwhelmed with the support and congratulations I wake up to. What we have here is pretty damn cool and I could not be more grateful to be a part of it.
That said, I haven't been that involved on here in quite awhile, I post with my Crossfit for Quitters group and I post roll every day, I will swing by intros every now and again but for the most part I am not around much, and I kinda regret that. I would like to remedy it, and I am going to try and do that. All that said, the main thing is I post roll everyday, never missed a day, not in the 1208, I think officially I fell through the cracks on a bump once or twice or my texted promise didn't make it, but the promise has been made every day.
I am an addict and without making that promise I am one trip to the store from a lip full of shame and a can a day habit, without that promise I am a fragile step from losing the freedom I cherish so much, and from damaging friendships that mean the world to me. So while I haven't been as involved as I like I still make that promise, not today, motherfucker, not today.
Luby - I ran across you the other day in one of the old groups and you were a funny MFer. Come post in Jan and Feb with us supporting the noobs! We have Vadge, Skoal Monster, Visa, Syndrome, Mcarmo. Come join the fun. There's nothing more fulfilling and empowering to a quit than helping the noobs.
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
Nice Luby, nice!!!! Like a rock star!
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
Nice Luby, nice!!!! Like a rock star!
and you look dead sexy in those cut off shorts too 'winker'
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
Nice Luby, nice!!!! Like a rock star!
and you look dead sexy in those cut off shorts too 'winker'
Everyday with you man. Like we have now for over 3 years.
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
Nice Luby, nice!!!! Like a rock star!
and you look dead sexy in those cut off shorts too 'winker'
Everyday with you man. Like we have now for over 3 years.
I'm with Lubmeister.
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Found my intro thread on page 8, what a slacker!
Just had a quick ah ha moment today. I've said this before, but I hate cleaning my car, I'm not a slob so its not too bad but pulling out the shop vac and armor all is just not for me. Back in my Ninja dipping days I had to clean my car all the time because of all the particles of shame that covered the center console where I packed my lip full of cancer..... So today when i was cleaning my car for the first time in months, so we have a nice clean car to go visit family in, I realized how nice it was not to have to do it more, and not be stressed out that I wouldn't do a good enough job and my wife would notice something and I'd be caught in my constant lies....
that hasn't been an issue for 1255 days now, and its not gonna be an issue today, I posted roll this morning, so not today, motherfucker, not today.
Nice Luby, nice!!!! Like a rock star!
and you look dead sexy in those cut off shorts too 'winker'
Everyday with you man. Like we have now for over 3 years.
I'm with Lubmeister.
I have been Lubed 2x. Go WNBA team in Seattle !!!!! 'ninja'
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Found my Intro on page 22, wow times have changed.
I'm still here. Most of you probably don't even know me.
I post roll every day, haven't missed one yet, proud of that? Not really, its just what I do. I still love this community and its the only thing that ever worked for me so if it ain't broke, don't fix it. So yeah I post roll everyday. Do I pay it forward anymore like I should? Not really, am I disappointed about that? Yeah I am. So many quitters helped me along the way, the fact that I have been on the sidelines for so long.... well yeah, I owe this site more than daily roll, and my ramblings in the CrossFit discussion board.
A lot of the time, I really considering fading away even more, just not posting roll and checking in every now and then. The friends I have made here will be friends for the rest of my life, I don't need to post roll for them to know I am just a text away from a bullshit session or to help. My support is in place I don't really NEED to be here anymore, but I am not leaving. This community is a part of me now, do I still crave a dip? Occasionally, sadly yes I do, but I am an addict, thats the way it works its never gonna go away. Do I need roll to get me through that anymore? No, no I don't but it sure as shit doesn't hurt so why not just post roll.
Plus where else would I sit down and ramble like this! Just wanted to say, I'm still here.
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Found my Intro on page 22, wow times have changed.
I'm still here. Most of you probably don't even know me.
I post roll every day, haven't missed one yet, proud of that? Not really, its just what I do. I still love this community and its the only thing that ever worked for me so if it ain't broke, don't fix it. So yeah I post roll everyday. Do I pay it forward anymore like I should? Not really, am I disappointed about that? Yeah I am. So many quitters helped me along the way, the fact that I have been on the sidelines for so long.... well yeah, I owe this site more than daily roll, and my ramblings in the CrossFit discussion board.
A lot of the time, I really considering fading away even more, just not posting roll and checking in every now and then. The friends I have made here will be friends for the rest of my life, I don't need to post roll for them to know I am just a text away from a bullshit session or to help. My support is in place I don't really NEED to be here anymore, but I am not leaving. This community is a part of me now, do I still crave a dip? Occasionally, sadly yes I do, but I am an addict, thats the way it works its never gonna go away. Do I need roll to get me through that anymore? No, no I don't but it sure as shit doesn't hurt so why not just post roll.
Plus where else would I sit down and ramble like this! Just wanted to say, I'm still here.
You are solid, you have paid it forward more than you can ever think.
Just keep up what you are doing my friend. You are living your life the right way, free of any nicotine (and getting those damn good pictures in all those sports stadiums.....).
thanks and be good.
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Found my Intro on page 22, wow times have changed.
I'm still here. Most of you probably don't even know me.
I post roll every day, haven't missed one yet, proud of that? Not really, its just what I do. I still love this community and its the only thing that ever worked for me so if it ain't broke, don't fix it. So yeah I post roll everyday. Do I pay it forward anymore like I should? Not really, am I disappointed about that? Yeah I am. So many quitters helped me along the way, the fact that I have been on the sidelines for so long.... well yeah, I owe this site more than daily roll, and my ramblings in the CrossFit discussion board.
A lot of the time, I really considering fading away even more, just not posting roll and checking in every now and then. The friends I have made here will be friends for the rest of my life, I don't need to post roll for them to know I am just a text away from a bullshit session or to help. My support is in place I don't really NEED to be here anymore, but I am not leaving. This community is a part of me now, do I still crave a dip? Occasionally, sadly yes I do, but I am an addict, thats the way it works its never gonna go away. Do I need roll to get me through that anymore? No, no I don't but it sure as shit doesn't hurt so why not just post roll.
Plus where else would I sit down and ramble like this! Just wanted to say, I'm still here.
You are solid, you have paid it forward more than you can ever think.
Just keep up what you are doing my friend. You are living your life the right way, free of any nicotine (and getting those damn good pictures in all those sports stadiums.....).
thanks and be good.
Proud of you brother. I cant believe we're at 4 years, and I wouldn't be here without you. Thanks for all you do just by showing up.
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Found my Intro on page 22, wow times have changed.
I'm still here. Most of you probably don't even know me.
I post roll every day, haven't missed one yet, proud of that? Not really, its just what I do. I still love this community and its the only thing that ever worked for me so if it ain't broke, don't fix it. So yeah I post roll everyday. Do I pay it forward anymore like I should? Not really, am I disappointed about that? Yeah I am. So many quitters helped me along the way, the fact that I have been on the sidelines for so long.... well yeah, I owe this site more than daily roll, and my ramblings in the CrossFit discussion board.
A lot of the time, I really considering fading away even more, just not posting roll and checking in every now and then. The friends I have made here will be friends for the rest of my life, I don't need to post roll for them to know I am just a text away from a bullshit session or to help. My support is in place I don't really NEED to be here anymore, but I am not leaving. This community is a part of me now, do I still crave a dip? Occasionally, sadly yes I do, but I am an addict, thats the way it works its never gonna go away. Do I need roll to get me through that anymore? No, no I don't but it sure as shit doesn't hurt so why not just post roll.
Plus where else would I sit down and ramble like this! Just wanted to say, I'm still here.
You are solid, you have paid it forward more than you can ever think.
Just keep up what you are doing my friend. You are living your life the right way, free of any nicotine (and getting those damn good pictures in all those sports stadiums.....).
thanks and be good.
Proud of you brother. I cant believe we're at 4 years, and I wouldn't be here without you. Thanks for all you do just by showing up.
Well brother you have always been just a text away from me since the first month in my quit. I am glad you are here.
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Congrats on 4 years Luby!!!
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Holy crap is it crazy to see all the new names, all the new quitters, on intros and elsewhere as I make the occasional tour around this community. I post roll everyday in my group, October '11 and follow and post in the crossfit discussion thread but other than that I am not around this community as much anymore, but I occasionally spend some time reading intros.
I have zero to say about my quit but that I still post roll everyday, without fail, and it is still important to me. This site is still important to me, my friends I have made on this site are some of the most important people to me. Without this community I am not the person I am today, I would be a slave to the can of shame, I would be justifying an addiction like I always did, I would be the same dishonest pile of monkey shit I was before I found this place, I would lie to everyone and most importantly I would lie to myself, as I justified continuing being owned by nicotine. So all these new quitters that I have had no interaction with just know you are in the right place, know that there are quitters that you have never even heard of still posting roll, still reading, still here. We may not be as visible or active as we once were but we are here, we are here for our friends, we are here for each other, we are here for everyone that makes this community as valuable as it is. The cost of admission is to be a man of your word and promise not to use nicotine today. A price for the intoxication of freedom I am willing to pay first thing every morning.
Not today, mother fucker, not today.
-
Holy crap is it crazy to see all the new names, all the new quitters, on intros and elsewhere as I make the occasional tour around this community. I post roll everyday in my group, October '11 and follow and post in the crossfit discussion thread but other than that I am not around this community as much anymore, but I occasionally spend some time reading intros.
I have zero to say about my quit but that I still post roll everyday, without fail, and it is still important to me. This site is still important to me, my friends I have made on this site are some of the most important people to me. Without this community I am not the person I am today, I would be a slave to the can of shame, I would be justifying an addiction like I always did, I would be the same dishonest pile of monkey shit I was before I found this place, I would lie to everyone and most importantly I would lie to myself, as I justified continuing being owned by nicotine. So all these new quitters that I have had no interaction with just know you are in the right place, know that there are quitters that you have never even heard of still posting roll, still reading, still here. We may not be as visible or active as we once were but we are here, we are here for our friends, we are here for each other, we are here for everyone that makes this community as valuable as it is. The cost of admission is to be a man of your word and promise not to use nicotine today. A price for the intoxication of freedom I am willing to pay first thing every morning.
Not today, mother fucker, not today.
Bingo
-
Holy crap is it crazy to see all the new names, all the new quitters, on intros and elsewhere as I make the occasional tour around this community. I post roll everyday in my group, October '11 and follow and post in the crossfit discussion thread but other than that I am not around this community as much anymore, but I occasionally spend some time reading intros.
I have zero to say about my quit but that I still post roll everyday, without fail, and it is still important to me. This site is still important to me, my friends I have made on this site are some of the most important people to me. Without this community I am not the person I am today, I would be a slave to the can of shame, I would be justifying an addiction like I always did, I would be the same dishonest pile of monkey shit I was before I found this place, I would lie to everyone and most importantly I would lie to myself, as I justified continuing being owned by nicotine. So all these new quitters that I have had no interaction with just know you are in the right place, know that there are quitters that you have never even heard of still posting roll, still reading, still here. We may not be as visible or active as we once were but we are here, we are here for our friends, we are here for each other, we are here for everyone that makes this community as valuable as it is. The cost of admission is to be a man of your word and promise not to use nicotine today. A price for the intoxication of freedom I am willing to pay first thing every morning.
Not today, mother fucker, not today.
Bingo
Brotha, I'm with you man.
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Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
-
Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
-
Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
-
Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
My Pac NW brother!
This is it. Right here.
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Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
My Pac NW brother!
This is it. Right here.
Wow, thank you Luby. I needed that.
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Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
My Pac NW brother!
This is it. Right here.
Wow, thank you Luby. I needed that.
I'm not quite a newbie but my quit is stronger after reading this. Thanks for still being here Luby. I agree with AJ. PNW rules!
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Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
My Pac NW brother!
This is it. Right here.
Wow, thank you Luby. I needed that.
I'm not quite a newbie but my quit is stronger after reading this. Thanks for still being here Luby. I agree with AJ. PNW rules!
Luby this is gold. Thanks. Helps to have your thoughts from that far out in the land of freedom.
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Many of you don't know me, I haven't been real active on this site for awhile. I post roll everyday, and I do mean everyday in October '11. I posted 1725 today and I am proud to call myself a "basterd". Quick bio, I am a camera operator for live sporting events, if you are watching a game on TV some guy like me, or maybe even me is standing behind a camera to get you the shot, my job is very seasonal. Fall its football, college game every saturday night, winter is my down time, I don't travel as much as the rest of the year, I do a lot of hoops around where I live. It's great time at home with wife and more importantly dog, time to hit the gym on regular basis, no stress, no mess its great. It also leads me to question why I still post roll everyday, when I am chill at home I damn near forget to post, and when I forget I question why I bother to even do it. Do i NEED it anymore? I've been quit for years I barely even think about dipping, ever.
Then it is Spring, Spring means baseball. I worked 3 college games over the weekend and trust me I was probably the only guy there without a tin, I was talking to a players dad and he pulled a tin of Skoal mint (my poison of choice for 20 years) out of his pocket and packed one and I was ashamed at how bad I craved at that moment. I've gotta lot of MLB ahead of me and I know I will re-live that same moment time and again as the season goes on. So I post roll. It's nice to be able to actually feel complacent about my quit sometimes, hell I earned that through everyday I have quit, but its also nice to be reminded I am an addict. I will never be cured, I am stronger for it, and I have the tools to win the fight each day.
It is amazing how we are healed mentally until one trigger causes that pause where the thought of "just one more"; I am proud to say I do know you Peepers.
Thanks for pointing this out, I hope newbies that are "healed" read this.
This is badass. Proud to have met you and proud to be quit with you.
New quitters take note, here. This is why we post roll. You're never cured.
My Pac NW brother!
This is it. Right here.
Wow, thank you Luby. I needed that.
I'm not quite a newbie but my quit is stronger after reading this. Thanks for still being here Luby. I agree with AJ. PNW rules!
Luby this is gold. Thanks. Helps to have your thoughts from that far out in the land of freedom.
'ninja'
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Congrats on 5 years my PNW brother!
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'oh yeah'
Love ya you basterd!
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'oh yeah'
Love ya you basterd!
Bad. Ass.
Congrats bro!
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2,000
Now, that's badass!
Congrats bro!
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2,000
Now, that's badass!
Congrats bro!
Truly baddassery!
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2,000
Now, that's badass!
Congrats bro!
Truly baddassery!
Taking names ans kicking nics ass for 2,000 days. Sweet
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2,000
Now, that's badass!
Congrats bro!
Truly baddassery!
Taking names ans kicking nics ass for 2,000 days. Sweet
Double up.. Badassery!
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I don't spend much time around here anymore, roll in the am and the crossfit forum is about it. I just had a great reminder today of why being quit and being free are so great. I drove by a hospital on the way to the gym today and standing out front in pajamas and a robe was a woman on crutches and in obvious pain sucking on a cigarette. I live in Oregon the weather is shitty today, windy and raining. This poor slave had to crawl out of a hospital bed, painfully make her way outside to stand in the rain to get her fix.
Thanks to kill the can and all the great quitters on here today I am free of that. Today I posted roll and I am not gonna use nicotine. Not today, mother fucker, not today.
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I don't spend much time around here anymore, roll in the am and the crossfit forum is about it. I just had a great reminder today of why being quit and being free are so great. I drove by a hospital on the way to the gym today and standing out front in pajamas and a robe was a woman on crutches and in obvious pain sucking on a cigarette. I live in Oregon the weather is shitty today, windy and raining. This poor slave had to crawl out of a hospital bed, painfully make her way outside to stand in the rain to get her fix.
Thanks to kill the can and all the great quitters on here today I am free of that. Today I posted roll and I am not gonna use nicotine. Not today, mother fucker, not today.
love that last line i feel the same way every time i post roll!
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I don't spend much time around here anymore, roll in the am and the crossfit forum is about it. I just had a great reminder today of why being quit and being free are so great. I drove by a hospital on the way to the gym today and standing out front in pajamas and a robe was a woman on crutches and in obvious pain sucking on a cigarette. I live in Oregon the weather is shitty today, windy and raining. This poor slave had to crawl out of a hospital bed, painfully make her way outside to stand in the rain to get her fix.
Thanks to kill the can and all the great quitters on here today I am free of that. Today I posted roll and I am not gonna use nicotine. Not today, mother fucker, not today.
love that last line i feel the same way every time i post roll!
Missed this!
Hell yeah Lubs!
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I don't spend much time around here anymore, roll in the am and the crossfit forum is about it. I just had a great reminder today of why being quit and being free are so great. I drove by a hospital on the way to the gym today and standing out front in pajamas and a robe was a woman on crutches and in obvious pain sucking on a cigarette. I live in Oregon the weather is shitty today, windy and raining. This poor slave had to crawl out of a hospital bed, painfully make her way outside to stand in the rain to get her fix.
Thanks to kill the can and all the great quitters on here today I am free of that. Today I posted roll and I am not gonna use nicotine. Not today, mother fucker, not today.
love that last line i feel the same way every time i post roll!
Missed this!
Hell yeah Lubs!
Was at the hospital today as well. Just a yearly check up for my youngest. Couple parked next to us, younger, 25ish, got out and the husband stood outside the car in the parking lot
while his wife finished the cigarette before they went into the hospital. It was 25F outside. Addiction is amazing. I made my son watch the whole act and told him how addictive it was for that lady.
So we passed the time waiting while discussing which McDonalds to go to for his Shamrock Shake. No nic for me today boys.
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If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
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If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
Epic post brother... epic.
Truthfully... this post is further proof that the method this place preaches works beautifully if you work it. I see nothing weak here man... takes uncommon strength to humble yourself and get back to basics. None of us... none... are so far ahead of our addiction that we can ignore the desperation of that "day 1" we've all posted. Good on ya bro... give or take... do whatever the hell you need to square yourself off.
-
If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
Epic post brother... epic.
Truthfully... this post is further proof that the method this place preaches works beautifully if you work it. I see nothing weak here man... takes uncommon strength to humble yourself and get back to basics. None of us... none... are so far ahead of our addiction that we can ignore the desperation of that "day 1" we've all posted. Good on ya bro... give or take... do whatever the hell you need to square yourself off.
very well said, I too use to be very active it help my quit more then anything. at 1693 days I still have bad days weeks so I start spending more time on here it helps a lot.
-
If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
Epic post brother... epic.
Truthfully... this post is further proof that the method this place preaches works beautifully if you work it. I see nothing weak here man... takes uncommon strength to humble yourself and get back to basics. None of us... none... are so far ahead of our addiction that we can ignore the desperation of that "day 1" we've all posted. Good on ya bro... give or take... do whatever the hell you need to square yourself off.
very well said, I too use to be very active it help my quit more then anything. at 1693 days I still have bad days weeks so I start spending more time on here it helps a lot.
We used to look to nicotine to level out the lows... and the highs. Many of us used it like we would a medication. Fuck... work sucks... shove face full. Fuck fight with wife... shove face full. Promotion at work... shove face full. Crazy animal sex wife wife.... shove face full.
It leveled out all of the emotions. Now that we are on the roller coaster that life is, sometimes we miss the leveling out. Not weird at all. Stress sucks - and we used to deal with it by using nicotine. Now we don't. Continuous improvement is what life is all about. Always trying to get better, win bigger, lose less, find better and shorter paths to success. Nicotine didn't help us win, it just dulled the feeling of losing (and of winning). Hang tough bro - I'm loving this freedom from the clutches of nicotine.
worktowin 1,615
-
If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
Funny, took a trip down memory lane today and this was my last post in introductions, frankly I haven’t been around much for years, but I still know this community is here, still appreciate it so much.
Most days anymore it doesn’t matter, some days it does, My life’s kinda a pile right now, and one of the things I appreciate amongst all my other issues is at least I’m not figuring out how to get my nicotine fix….. My brother at 54 started using Zin’s cus he claimed it helped with his tinnitus, since getting tinnitus myself (thanks asshole at the gun range that unloaded his snub 45 right next to me in the quiet area that my father in law and I were at with silenced 9’s mostly so we could bullshit and still shoot) I have almost considered it, in the abstract…
Anyway nothing important just haven’t been around in awhile and wanted to say hi! This community saved me, and I am definitely piled under a lot of issues but not wondering where my next fix is coming from is almost a luxury. Gonna try harder to post roll and get somewhat back in the flow here. Not going back to the quit front lines, but i wanna be around, kinda like the old quiet guy at the country club/va/club, most won’t know what my deal is but “hey its that old dude”
-
If your quit is new, or you are feeling fragile at all maybe don't read this....
First let me introduce myself, I am Luby, I have been around awhile, 2,139 days to be exact, I was once a very active quitter, sometime after I hit my comma I just kinda didn't need to be as involved on site or as involved in my quit. I got comfortable, there were occasional cravings but nothing that wasn't easy to deal with.
From the outside I look like I have my shit together, I am pretty damn good at what I do, my finances are pretty ok, I am a good husband. In general I have my shit together, but, oh boy I don't think a lot of people would trade me for what goes on inside my head, I flat have anxiety, gotta take drugs for it and everything, but there is other stuff in my noggin that ain't great either, nothing diagnosed or named but I have some rough times, so I have to go see a therapist from time to time.
Today I went in, nothing dramatic but about 50 minutes into the hour session my nicotine addiction came up, she said she hadn't really dealt with nicotine but she said a lot of what I was talking about seemed like "relapse behavior". Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, almost 6 years and a mental health professional is observing signs of relapse, we discussed it and she seemed right.
The only reason I am writing this here is because writing on here has always been helpful to me, I always hate expressing my vulnerability, well because I hate expressing vulnerability at all, but also because someone 2 days quit might look at this and say "fuck he's thousands of days in and still has issues? fuck this", and I hate that.
The thing is I still have to protect my quit, day 1, day 2, day 2,139, I am a addict, and I wonder if my relapse behavior would have manifested itself without me even realizing it. I am hyper aware now, but I am a vulnerable to the self justified, barely thinking about it trip to the corner store, so you might see me around a bit more for awhile. This place saved me, I hate to have to rely on it when I should be paying back, but I have to do what it takes to stay quit, I have enough shit going on without adding poison to my mouth and having that to add to my already fucked up head.
thanks for letting me ramble
Funny, took a trip down memory lane today and this was my last post in introductions, frankly I haven’t been around much for years, but I still know this community is here, still appreciate it so much.
Most days anymore it doesn’t matter, some days it does, My life’s kinda a pile right now, and one of the things I appreciate amongst all my other issues is at least I’m not figuring out how to get my nicotine fix….. My brother at 54 started using Zin’s cus he claimed it helped with his tinnitus, since getting tinnitus myself (thanks asshole at the gun range that unloaded his snub 45 right next to me in the quiet area that my father in law and I were at with silenced 9’s mostly so we could bullshit and still shoot) I have almost considered it, in the abstract…
Anyway nothing important just haven’t been around in awhile and wanted to say hi! This community saved me, and I am definitely piled under a lot of issues but not wondering where my next fix is coming from is almost a luxury. Gonna try harder to post roll and get somewhat back in the flow here. Not going back to the quit front lines, but i wanna be around, kinda like the old quiet guy at the country club/va/club, most won’t know what my deal is but “hey its that old dude”
Good to hear from you @luby (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1011) . Would love to see you posting again. Tag me and I will post with you. A lot of KTC is now on Discord but some of the older crowd is still here. Here is the link to Discord if you want to check it out: https://discord.gg/9qXQcTHuhd