KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Docpac on January 04, 2020, 03:41:53 PM
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Hello community,
I am writing this here because honestly I have never told my story. To anyone. I am a 34 year old who has been using tobacco in one way or another since I was 24. The irony is I started using tobacco when I was pre-med in college. Since then I have successfully completed medical school and worked as a military physician for the Marine Corps for 4 years and am now back in residency.
I had my first cigarette while doing an intensive 9 week organic chemistry course to prepare for my MCAT. I was stressed, studying or in class 16 hours a day and my roommate at the time (also in the same class) would take cigarette breaks every two hours and come back looking energized and more focused. So I started to join him. This lead to me smoking cigarettes all the way up until my last year in medical school. Medical school is brutal and I found keeping track of my day by when my next cigarette was going to be. At my peak I was smoking about 10 cigarettes a day, but was definitely addicted.
I knew that cigarette use was not inline with my career choice (although the medical field has a high alcohol/tobacco use). I quit cold turkey. Haven't had a cigarette since. Other than the first few days I didn't find quitting cigarettes all that hard. Part of it was I moved, got married and started my first year of residency at the same time so a lot of the associations I coupled with cigarette use were gone by default. I did well tobacco free for a few months until I got onto a hard rotation which involved a commute. I was working anywhere from 60-80 hour weeks and started feeling the urge to smoke again to help with the exhaustion. One of my co-residents noticed I was extremely tired at the end of a shift and knew I was about to drive home. He offered me a SNUS to stay awake. I had never done any smokeless tobacco before and though why not. SNUS escalated to skoal pouches, then two pouches at a time, then to longcut dip to get the nicotine I needed.
I have been dipping every since. The amount I have dipped over the past few years has varied considerably with stress levels, deployment cycles, etc but have been consistently been dipping 1/2 - 1 can a day now for 5 years. I have been married for 6 years now and have two sons, a 3 and a 1 year old. I am finally to the point where I actually WANT to quit. I have always known I should quit, but the want was never enough. I quit for a month about 7 months ago but then went through the stress of moving and starting a new position and was right back on it. I am sick of hiding it. My wife has caught me multiple times but I mostly have kept it hidden. I dip on the way to work, during backroom breaks, lunch break, on the way home, while showering, and after everyone else goes to bed. I am addicted.
This quit attempt I have decided to follow the advice I have given many of my patients and join a support group. I also have decided to stop hiding behind my guilt and have told my wife everything. She confessed she knew I was dipping but didn't know to the extent.
So now I am on day 3, currently on vacation. Feeling in a fog, tired, sucking down jolly ranchers and eating sunflower seeds like it's my job. I've appreciated reading your stories and am thankful for the transparency and honesty I have seen thus far. Thanks for your time and support.
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Hello community,
I am writing this here because honestly I have never told my story. To anyone. I am a 34 year old who has been using tobacco in one way or another since I was 24. The irony is I started using tobacco when I was pre-med in college. Since then I have successfully completed medical school and worked as a military physician for the Marine Corps for 4 years and am now back in residency.
I had my first cigarette while doing an intensive 9 week organic chemistry course to prepare for my MCAT. I was stressed, studying or in class 16 hours a day and my roommate at the time (also in the same class) would take cigarette breaks every two hours and come back looking energized and more focused. So I started to join him. This lead to me smoking cigarettes all the way up until my last year in medical school. Medical school is brutal and I found keeping track of my day by when my next cigarette was going to be. At my peak I was smoking about 10 cigarettes a day, but was definitely addicted.
I knew that cigarette use was not inline with my career choice (although the medical field has a high alcohol/tobacco use). I quit cold turkey. Haven't had a cigarette since. Other than the first few days I didn't find quitting cigarettes all that hard. Part of it was I moved, got married and started my first year of residency at the same time so a lot of the associations I coupled with cigarette use were gone by default. I did well tobacco free for a few months until I got onto a hard rotation which involved a commute. I was working anywhere from 60-80 hour weeks and started feeling the urge to smoke again to help with the exhaustion. One of my co-residents noticed I was extremely tired at the end of a shift and knew I was about to drive home. He offered me a SNUS to stay awake. I had never done any smokeless tobacco before and though why not. SNUS escalated to skoal pouches, then two pouches at a time, then to longcut dip to get the nicotine I needed.
I have been dipping every since. The amount I have dipped over the past few years has varied considerably with stress levels, deployment cycles, etc but have been consistently been dipping 1/2 - 1 can a day now for 5 years. I have been married for 6 years now and have two sons, a 3 and a 1 year old. I am finally to the point where I actually WANT to quit. I have always known I should quit, but the want was never enough. I quit for a month about 7 months ago but then went through the stress of moving and starting a new position and was right back on it. I am sick of hiding it. My wife has caught me multiple times but I mostly have kept it hidden. I dip on the way to work, during backroom breaks, lunch break, on the way home, while showering, and after everyone else goes to bed. I am addicted.
This quit attempt I have decided to follow the advice I have given many of my patients and join a support group. I also have decided to stop hiding behind my guilt and have told my wife everything. She confessed she knew I was dipping but didn't know to the extent.
So now I am on day 3, currently on vacation. Feeling in a fog, tired, sucking down jolly ranchers and eating sunflower seeds like it's my job. I've appreciated reading your stories and am thankful for the transparency and honesty I have seen thus far. Thanks for your time and support.
Hey Doc-I am also in the medical field. I’m a X-Ray tech but have worked in the Cardiac Cath Lab/Interventional Radiology/Electrophysiology Lab for 20 years. 4 years ago I switched over to medical devices clinical support for 3-D cardiac mapping for ablation procedures. Before I go any further, I just want to point one thing out. In one of your paragraphs, you used the phrase “quit attempt”. Please understand we don’t attempt here, we QUIT. Outside of that, you and I are a lot alike. Obviously, I know the link between tobacco and bad health. It didn’t stop me either. I also hid it from my wife. Even worse, I lied to her each time she caught me. I also have two little girls that depend on me. This is a choice. You can chose to put another one in, or not. You can chose to post roll or not. We all will support the hell out of you if you chose to be here. If you need any extra support, please PM me. I will send you my number and we can give each other extra support. It may seem weird, but it works. Post roll each day when you wake up. Take nicotine off the table EARLY. Hit me up for any thing you need. You can do this bro.
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Hello community,
I am writing this here because honestly I have never told my story. To anyone. I am a 34 year old who has been using tobacco in one way or another since I was 24. The irony is I started using tobacco when I was pre-med in college. Since then I have successfully completed medical school and worked as a military physician for the Marine Corps for 4 years and am now back in residency.
I had my first cigarette while doing an intensive 9 week organic chemistry course to prepare for my MCAT. I was stressed, studying or in class 16 hours a day and my roommate at the time (also in the same class) would take cigarette breaks every two hours and come back looking energized and more focused. So I started to join him. This lead to me smoking cigarettes all the way up until my last year in medical school. Medical school is brutal and I found keeping track of my day by when my next cigarette was going to be. At my peak I was smoking about 10 cigarettes a day, but was definitely addicted.
I knew that cigarette use was not inline with my career choice (although the medical field has a high alcohol/tobacco use). I quit cold turkey. Haven't had a cigarette since. Other than the first few days I didn't find quitting cigarettes all that hard. Part of it was I moved, got married and started my first year of residency at the same time so a lot of the associations I coupled with cigarette use were gone by default. I did well tobacco free for a few months until I got onto a hard rotation which involved a commute. I was working anywhere from 60-80 hour weeks and started feeling the urge to smoke again to help with the exhaustion. One of my co-residents noticed I was extremely tired at the end of a shift and knew I was about to drive home. He offered me a SNUS to stay awake. I had never done any smokeless tobacco before and though why not. SNUS escalated to skoal pouches, then two pouches at a time, then to longcut dip to get the nicotine I needed.
I have been dipping every since. The amount I have dipped over the past few years has varied considerably with stress levels, deployment cycles, etc but have been consistently been dipping 1/2 - 1 can a day now for 5 years. I have been married for 6 years now and have two sons, a 3 and a 1 year old. I am finally to the point where I actually WANT to quit. I have always known I should quit, but the want was never enough. I quit for a month about 7 months ago but then went through the stress of moving and starting a new position and was right back on it. I am sick of hiding it. My wife has caught me multiple times but I mostly have kept it hidden. I dip on the way to work, during backroom breaks, lunch break, on the way home, while showering, and after everyone else goes to bed. I am addicted.
This quit attempt I have decided to follow the advice I have given many of my patients and join a support group. I also have decided to stop hiding behind my guilt and have told my wife everything. She confessed she knew I was dipping but didn't know to the extent.
So now I am on day 3, currently on vacation. Feeling in a fog, tired, sucking down jolly ranchers and eating sunflower seeds like it's my job. I've appreciated reading your stories and am thankful for the transparency and honesty I have seen thus far. Thanks for your time and support.
Hey Doc-I am also in the medical field. I’m a X-Ray tech but have worked in the Cardiac Cath Lab/Interventional Radiology/Electrophysiology Lab for 20 years. 4 years ago I switched over to medical devices clinical support for 3-D cardiac mapping for ablation procedures. Before I go any further, I just want to point one thing out. In one of your paragraphs, you used the phrase “quit attempt”. Please understand we don’t attempt here, we QUIT. Outside of that, you and I are a lot alike. Obviously, I know the link between tobacco and bad health. It didn’t stop me either. I also hid it from my wife. Even worse, I lied to her each time she caught me. I also have two little girls that depend on me. This is a choice. You can chose to put another one in, or not. You can chose to post roll or not. We all will support the hell out of you if you chose to be here. If you need any extra support, please PM me. I will send you my number and we can give each other extra support. It may seem weird, but it works. Post roll each day when you wake up. Take nicotine off the table EARLY. Hit me up for any thing you need. You can do this bro.
Thanks for the support. I assure you the "attempt" was a typo. I wouldn't be in this forum if I was viewing this as an attempt. It took every part of me just to post this and sign up for this forum. Telling my wife I was doing it was even harder. My wife is an ultrasound and x-ray tech as well. I'm going to PM you if that's alright. Appreciate the support.
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Welcome aboard Doc. Great job committing to quit and posting roll. You nailed when you admitted addiction; that's half the battle. The method here is surprisingly simple: you promise today, just today, not to use nicotine. Then you are either a man of your word or you are not.
Winners have results, losers have excuses.
No excuses Doc, just freedom.
Quitting with you today.
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Hello community,
I am writing this here because honestly I have never told my story. To anyone. I am a 34 year old who has been using tobacco in one way or another since I was 24. The irony is I started using tobacco when I was pre-med in college. Since then I have successfully completed medical school and worked as a military physician for the Marine Corps for 4 years and am now back in residency.
I had my first cigarette while doing an intensive 9 week organic chemistry course to prepare for my MCAT. I was stressed, studying or in class 16 hours a day and my roommate at the time (also in the same class) would take cigarette breaks every two hours and come back looking energized and more focused. So I started to join him. This lead to me smoking cigarettes all the way up until my last year in medical school. Medical school is brutal and I found keeping track of my day by when my next cigarette was going to be. At my peak I was smoking about 10 cigarettes a day, but was definitely addicted.
I knew that cigarette use was not inline with my career choice (although the medical field has a high alcohol/tobacco use). I quit cold turkey. Haven't had a cigarette since. Other than the first few days I didn't find quitting cigarettes all that hard. Part of it was I moved, got married and started my first year of residency at the same time so a lot of the associations I coupled with cigarette use were gone by default. I did well tobacco free for a few months until I got onto a hard rotation which involved a commute. I was working anywhere from 60-80 hour weeks and started feeling the urge to smoke again to help with the exhaustion. One of my co-residents noticed I was extremely tired at the end of a shift and knew I was about to drive home. He offered me a SNUS to stay awake. I had never done any smokeless tobacco before and though why not. SNUS escalated to skoal pouches, then two pouches at a time, then to longcut dip to get the nicotine I needed.
I have been dipping every since. The amount I have dipped over the past few years has varied considerably with stress levels, deployment cycles, etc but have been consistently been dipping 1/2 - 1 can a day now for 5 years. I have been married for 6 years now and have two sons, a 3 and a 1 year old. I am finally to the point where I actually WANT to quit. I have always known I should quit, but the want was never enough. I quit for a month about 7 months ago but then went through the stress of moving and starting a new position and was right back on it. I am sick of hiding it. My wife has caught me multiple times but I mostly have kept it hidden. I dip on the way to work, during backroom breaks, lunch break, on the way home, while showering, and after everyone else goes to bed. I am addicted.
This quit attempt I have decided to follow the advice I have given many of my patients and join a support group. I also have decided to stop hiding behind my guilt and have told my wife everything. She confessed she knew I was dipping but didn't know to the extent.
So now I am on day 3, currently on vacation. Feeling in a fog, tired, sucking down jolly ranchers and eating sunflower seeds like it's my job. I've appreciated reading your stories and am thankful for the transparency and honesty I have seen thus far. Thanks for your time and support.
Hey Doc-I am also in the medical field. I’m a X-Ray tech but have worked in the Cardiac Cath Lab/Interventional Radiology/Electrophysiology Lab for 20 years. 4 years ago I switched over to medical devices clinical support for 3-D cardiac mapping for ablation procedures. Before I go any further, I just want to point one thing out. In one of your paragraphs, you used the phrase “quit attempt”. Please understand we don’t attempt here, we QUIT. Outside of that, you and I are a lot alike. Obviously, I know the link between tobacco and bad health. It didn’t stop me either. I also hid it from my wife. Even worse, I lied to her each time she caught me. I also have two little girls that depend on me. This is a choice. You can chose to put another one in, or not. You can chose to post roll or not. We all will support the hell out of you if you chose to be here. If you need any extra support, please PM me. I will send you my number and we can give each other extra support. It may seem weird, but it works. Post roll each day when you wake up. Take nicotine off the table EARLY. Hit me up for any thing you need. You can do this bro.
Thanks for the support. I assure you the "attempt" was a typo. I wouldn't be in this forum if I was viewing this as an attempt. It took every part of me just to post this and sign up for this forum. Telling my wife I was doing it was even harder. My wife is an ultrasound and x-ray tech as well. I'm going to PM you if that's alright. Appreciate the support.
I am an X-ray/CT/and now mostly Ultrasound/Vascular tech as well. I was just thinking today about my healthier arteries. 8) Proud to quit with you! Hit me up if you need anything!
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Hello community,
I am writing this here because honestly I have never told my story. To anyone. I am a 34 year old who has been using tobacco in one way or another since I was 24. The irony is I started using tobacco when I was pre-med in college. Since then I have successfully completed medical school and worked as a military physician for the Marine Corps for 4 years and am now back in residency.
I had my first cigarette while doing an intensive 9 week organic chemistry course to prepare for my MCAT. I was stressed, studying or in class 16 hours a day and my roommate at the time (also in the same class) would take cigarette breaks every two hours and come back looking energized and more focused. So I started to join him. This lead to me smoking cigarettes all the way up until my last year in medical school. Medical school is brutal and I found keeping track of my day by when my next cigarette was going to be. At my peak I was smoking about 10 cigarettes a day, but was definitely addicted.
I knew that cigarette use was not inline with my career choice (although the medical field has a high alcohol/tobacco use). I quit cold turkey. Haven't had a cigarette since. Other than the first few days I didn't find quitting cigarettes all that hard. Part of it was I moved, got married and started my first year of residency at the same time so a lot of the associations I coupled with cigarette use were gone by default. I did well tobacco free for a few months until I got onto a hard rotation which involved a commute. I was working anywhere from 60-80 hour weeks and started feeling the urge to smoke again to help with the exhaustion. One of my co-residents noticed I was extremely tired at the end of a shift and knew I was about to drive home. He offered me a SNUS to stay awake. I had never done any smokeless tobacco before and though why not. SNUS escalated to skoal pouches, then two pouches at a time, then to longcut dip to get the nicotine I needed.
I have been dipping every since. The amount I have dipped over the past few years has varied considerably with stress levels, deployment cycles, etc but have been consistently been dipping 1/2 - 1 can a day now for 5 years. I have been married for 6 years now and have two sons, a 3 and a 1 year old. I am finally to the point where I actually WANT to quit. I have always known I should quit, but the want was never enough. I quit for a month about 7 months ago but then went through the stress of moving and starting a new position and was right back on it. I am sick of hiding it. My wife has caught me multiple times but I mostly have kept it hidden. I dip on the way to work, during backroom breaks, lunch break, on the way home, while showering, and after everyone else goes to bed. I am addicted.
This quit attempt I have decided to follow the advice I have given many of my patients and join a support group. I also have decided to stop hiding behind my guilt and have told my wife everything. She confessed she knew I was dipping but didn't know to the extent.
So now I am on day 3, currently on vacation. Feeling in a fog, tired, sucking down jolly ranchers and eating sunflower seeds like it's my job. I've appreciated reading your stories and am thankful for the transparency and honesty I have seen thus far. Thanks for your time and support.
Hey Doc-I am also in the medical field. I’m a X-Ray tech but have worked in the Cardiac Cath Lab/Interventional Radiology/Electrophysiology Lab for 20 years. 4 years ago I switched over to medical devices clinical support for 3-D cardiac mapping for ablation procedures. Before I go any further, I just want to point one thing out. In one of your paragraphs, you used the phrase “quit attempt”. Please understand we don’t attempt here, we QUIT. Outside of that, you and I are a lot alike. Obviously, I know the link between tobacco and bad health. It didn’t stop me either. I also hid it from my wife. Even worse, I lied to her each time she caught me. I also have two little girls that depend on me. This is a choice. You can chose to put another one in, or not. You can chose to post roll or not. We all will support the hell out of you if you chose to be here. If you need any extra support, please PM me. I will send you my number and we can give each other extra support. It may seem weird, but it works. Post roll each day when you wake up. Take nicotine off the table EARLY. Hit me up for any thing you need. You can do this bro.
Thanks for the support. I assure you the "attempt" was a typo. I wouldn't be in this forum if I was viewing this as an attempt. It took every part of me just to post this and sign up for this forum. Telling my wife I was doing it was even harder. My wife is an ultrasound and x-ray tech as well. I'm going to PM you if that's alright. Appreciate the support.
I am an X-ray/CT/and now mostly Ultrasound/Vascular tech as well. I was just thinking today about my healthier arteries. 8) Proud to quit with you! Hit me up if you need anything!
I don't share a similarity in profession, but if you read my Hall of Fame (HOF) linked in my signature below, I think in other ways we are pretty similar. Shoot me your digits via PM; I'd be happy to help hold you accountable.
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Do you and would you have the ability to help out with the SSOA/ tracking down the missing/ and/or roll flipping duties in your April 2020 quit group? Any help at all is much appreciated and goes along way when it comes to Brotherhood + Accountability. Thanks in advance!