Days of our Quit – Episode 4 “Rocket Science Meets Common Sense”
Days of our Quit returns with an all new shocking episode. We will focus on some new people that would like to be part of the quitters and their vast arrays of quit. We briefly recap some things that have occurred up to this point.
We recall the death we had amongst the group. For those viewers that couldnÂ’t follow along or think for themselves, along the bottom of the screen we ran a title that explained that we put our quits in the casket to bury forever. The funeral was also an insight to one of a man that apparently couldnÂ’t handle being quit anymore. Apparently the healthier body, longer life, saving money and overall improvement in health was too much for him. He gave in, and evidently died to all of us. No more posting roll, no more worth caring about to the eyes of the quitters.
We also recall the interesting life of a few others, like Gmann and Gator. These two “G’s” are interesting in their own right. Gator, 30’s loyal and somewhat metro assistant, spends most of his time making sure all is well in 30’s world. He continues to bring him a cold beverage and massages his feet. Gmann has his own issues with homosexuality. He still calls the others gay, when he himself has a nice collection of Dolce purses and red heels. These two characters are still quitters, just interesting in their own right.
We now explore some of the newer people to the site. The quitters, who are now well into the 50’s, 60’s and 70th days of their quit, are still going strong. They now feel confident, reassured and overwhelmingly awesome. The first new character we get to meet is the planner. These Noobs are interesting. It seems everything in their life has to be planned. Every meal, every poop, every glass of water, taking a piss, cutting the yard, picking his nose and then of course quitting the earth dirt. These planners also believe in a magical day. This magical day is obviously amazing and brings forth all types of self reassurance and support. “On _____ day I will quit destroying my face.” The problem is your brain does not work this way, but they feel they are bigger than this. Knowing the inhaling gasoline everyday will kill me, but a few more days won’t hurt. I’m just going to keep going through with this nasty, deathly and overall gross habit just a few more days until the magic day appears. In the background of this scene is a tv playing news highlights from the Heavens Gate cult, who also had a magical day.
The next Noob that gets brought to light is the tryers. These people expect success without going in with a full head of steam. It is very similar to the waders of the pool; it’s not really swimming if you sit on the edge of the pool with your feet in. The tryers are depicted as Eyeore like survivors. They have quit using the earth dirt, but really have their doubts. They have quit, but think that they will not be able to quit for good, just for a period of time. We all explain to them that they have to buy in, but all we hear is that they will do their best. We are reminded by a video in the back playing the movie, “The Rock.” In this movie we have a great quote to sum up these tryers. Sean Connery says to Cage, when Cage says he could do his best, “Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Champs go home and f*** the prom queen.” These people are not champs yet but have the ability to change their ways. (The orignal qoute uses the Win word but everytime i type it in, we get Winner. Thanks loot.)
Then we have the BAÂ’s. These guys are not bachelors of art but merely Bad Asses. These guys have taken a can of the earth dirt, dumped the remaining contents in the toilet, flushed the nasty brown down, took the can, drove to the incinerator from Rudy, threw it in and smiled. This person then heads to the gas station for a Diet Coke and Funyons. When asked from the guy behind the counter if he would like any tobacco products, he punches the dude in the face, knocks him out, rips his shirt off like the hulk and leaves. These people are to be looked up too. They have bought it from the beginning. They believe in the quit. They believe in righteous honest living. They truly are BAÂ’s. A cameo of Chuck Norris here would complete the scene. Chuck comes in to the bar, looks at the BA and shakes his hand, then drinks a glass of milk, kisses a random November Hooters calendar model and leaves. We all need to be the BAÂ’s.
We go back to the bar after the new people have been introduced to the group, and we meet the most interesting man in the room, the multi changing man. This guy is amazing, he can quit, come back, quit, come back, quit comeback and encompass almost a dozen months and almost as many usernames. This guys balls have been left somewhere, possibly in a ballpark. But when everyone gets fooled, it all goes back on him. It really is not his fault, he just couldnÂ’t deal with life and itÂ’s complexities. We do live such a tough life. We must fight for every meal, personally make items to barter or sell for clothing, food and goods and work 90-110 hours in sweat shops to make ends meat. Or did we? Maybe not, but the other quitters really do not care.
Scotty gets up to announce to multiple groups that he is back, really quit and ready to be a leader. The others, who don’t care, look at him with a look of disgust. You cannot walk into a group of BA quitters and explain that you caved, multiple times, while giving your word and expect our sympathy. One man, a resident BA, walks up to Scotty, punches him clean in the left nut, spits at him and says “good luck.” We don’t play with this half ass quitting nonsense. You either quit, or GTFO. Scotty just doesn’t know.
To conclude our episode, LeeRon stands on a table and gives this speech. “Our lives are this simple. Post roll, live up to it, and quit for today. Repeat the process everyday. Good to go. If this seems like rocket science, maybe you should study a little harder about the process. This is common sense. Just quit.”
The episode ends with the group, toasting and cheering. The tryers are crying, the planners are thinking about a great day to be like Leeron while the BAÂ’s, like PMac break bottles over the head, flick of tobacco and quit, together. Everyday. We Quit.
