Double Comma
The last time I logged into KTC (before today), I was on Day 1,9XX. I was like, "Cool...almost 2,000. I should think of something profound to say and share it with my comrades."
It's Day 2,016 now. I totally missed 2,000. I missed the venerable double comma.
But you know what? Therein lies the profound thing that I can say: At this stage of my quit, 30 or 40 days just cruise by. BAM another day week month. BAM another year.
Contrast that with the average 30-day span in 2009 or 2010: It took all the strength I could muster, on a daily basis, to not start slashing at my own sac in a fit of straight-up jonesing.
I mean, wow...holy shit...this is freedom, man! Today, I would never, ever hurt my balls! Today, I just bend right down and give my balls sweet little licks!
- -
There's a lot of freedom in staying the course and fighting hard for a while - none of which is to say that, today, I do not take my quit seriously, or that I take it for granted. My quit pretty much defines me. I protect it. No surrender. To cave would make me a zero.
It's not to say that the addiction disappears, either. It finds me. Even in my dreams.
But I am vastly more powerful than this addiction. I guess that's about the only thing that this double comma shows. Selah.