Hello everyone. Where to start...
I'm 30 years old, married, and have three children. I started smoking at the age of 17 and probably tried to quit over 100 times before it finally took hold in 2009. Quitting was a miserable experience, for many reasons, and maybe I'll get more into that at a later time.
In late 2009 I bought my first can of dip, using the cognitive distortion that I wasn't buying cigarettes, so it was a victory, right? WRONG! I dipped about 1/3 - 1/2 a can per day from late 2009 until early 2013. In January 2013 I managed to stop dipping for 6 months. I visited KTC regularly during the first few months and read a lot of posts, but never registered or got involved. In June 2013 I caved and have been back in the saddle since. I've had my good weeks here and there, but I've been dipping pretty steadily again for the past 15 months.
I used my last pouch of tobbacco at about 3:30 p.m. on Friday, September 5, 2014. This weekend was rough. I had a pretty crappy attitude about most things and got into some arguments with the wife. I should add, the wife has never known about my dipping habbit. My reasons for quitting are many: I want to be more healthy; I want to be here for my wife and children for as long as possible; I'm tired of being dependant; I'm tired of not dealing with life's issues with a clear head; I'm tired of not enjoying life's gifts with a clear head; I'm tired of lying to my wife and family; and I'm tired of hiding the purchases, the cans, and the spit bottles. I remember with reverance the feeling I had during my 6 months away from dip. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I remember the first time I worked with power tools in the garage without dip, the first time I got into an argument with the wife and processed things without dip, the first time I took a long drive without dip, the first stressful day at work without dip - man, those all felt great. I think the best benefit though was not having to expend so much mental capacity on hiding things and lying...man, I want to get back there, and stay there!
Anyhow, there's a little bit about me...the bit that those closest to me don't know. Also, I can't seem to find my quit group in the forum. The way I have it calculated, I would be in a group for December 2014. Does anyone know where to find this elusive group? Thanks, and I look forward to reading more of the great information on this site!