the ramblings of a quitter

[summit]

56 and counting...
So the other night I was playing the song "Love your love the most" by Eric Church, good country song, for my wife and I was telling her that it was a song like I would write. Song tells all the things I love: 8 pt bucks, songs by George Strait, my truck, my dog, Jack D in my coke... anyway one of the lines in the song- "Man I love how Red man tastes..." When she heard that line she looked at me and said "well maybe not Red Man, but some other brand huh?" It was the first time that I got to tell her without skirting the subject that I was quiting, and actually meant it. That was a good feeling.

[summit]

here we are day 40... This time last year i was looking forward to a weekend at the house by myself with my kiddos, trip to the bass pro shop, long drives, late nights, and 3 days of 24 hour dip fests. So here the week comes again this year, while my wife is out for the weekend at a conference and all i can think about is a weekend with my kiddos, trip to the bass pro shop, and keeping the quit. Its kind of exciting to think that I have the whole weekend that its daddy dates and I don't have to worry about the girls taking a swig of my spitter, saying "daddy can I have some of that stuff that you are eating," or finding trash cans or carrying a spitter through the store.
The cravings are fewer and farther between, and I can spend time with the family without making up an excuse to go to the office or run an errand just so I could put a dip in.
I used to make jokes about quitting "Momma didn't raise no quitter," tried to see how good of a dip ninja I could be (close to invisible), and revolved everything around a pinch.
I also made fun of the smokers- couldn't understand why at every chance they could, would go outside and smoke. They would run out of restaurants the second the bill was paid just so they could smoke. Meanwhile from my high horse, shaking my head at them on my walk to the truck thinking how pathetic they were, the second I got to the truck would put a pinch in. I was just as bad, just not as noticeable.
So welcome day 40 to another day of the rest of my dip free life. Glad to see you.

[donewithapinch]

Along the same lines about money and quitting - I thought I would share these experiences from our March group - I'm sure everyone can relate - but maybe it will show others how sick we really are - here is some banter from our group - and my story about how sick I am....

QUOTE (daniel-san @ Jan 7, 2010, 6:25 pm) daniel-san wrote:
"Without a doubt, my 3 hour layover at DFW right now is the strongest urge/trigger I've had to endure....

I always dipped on the plane and in terminal with my handy dandy 007 water bottle neatly tucked into the front flap of my travel bag never far away. Of course I had to spend $4 for the water after I got through security (because you can't bring your own anymore) and then promptly headed to the mens room to dump the water out. Idiot."

donewithapinch replied:

"hahahah - I'll do you one better RE: the airport - how about quitting the morning you get on the plane, but then deciding in the air that you are not quitting, and then walking around the airport between flights hoping you can find some other loser that has a ring in his back pocket or a lip full of crap...then bumming a dip from a stranger taht probably has re-dip in his can....then buying the $4 water bottle to have a place to spit - then buying the $3 Tums to combat the heartburn.....dallas was the only airport where I ever found Skoal for sale....actually considered carrying it with me to sell to others...one last thing...on a trip to the Bahamas I promised my wife I would quit - and the entire cruise I tried to find someone/somewhere to bum a dip....found cans for sale in the newsstand at the Atlantis resort...$17/can !!!! I didnt buy any..but thats just because my wife was watching...what a pathetic addict....I'm so glad to be quitting this drug!!! Good luck March fellows. Sorry to take up so much space with this post....just thought I'd share..Thanks "

[summit]

I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week.  before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day.  and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!

Yep... it certainly adds up!

If you haven't seen it yet, there is a quit tracker at the bottom of the homepage that will keep track of your days quit as well as how much you're saving: http://www.killthecan.org/

chewie

I missed yesterdays big savings Wednesday, thought about it too late, but I love to see what we are pulling away from Big Tobacco. I have a long way to catch up for what I gave them, but I have the rest of my life to stick it to them!
thanks Chewie

[chewie]

I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week. before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day. and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!

Yep... it certainly adds up!

If you haven't seen it yet, there is a quit tracker at the bottom of the homepage that will keep track of your days quit as well as how much you're saving: http://www.killthecan.org/

chewie

[summit]

I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week. before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day. and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!

[ChoosingIntegrity]

day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can.  Also made it through several major triggers.  The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp.  Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip.  Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free.  Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in????  Apparently you can, and so can I.  People actually hunt without dip... amazing.  Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented.  I was ready just in case.  Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either.  VICTORY!  2 Triggers down.  Trigger 3 Fishing....  went flyfishing last week, no dip.  Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping.  I never knew that.  Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping.  They still let me catch them.

On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more.  Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...,"  "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on.  Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker."  Are you kidding me?  I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.

Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!

Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

Hey Summit... Thanks, Bro... Needed to see this tonight!
I drove past one of my ex-favorite convenience stores this evening. I thought about the cashiers that used to laugh at me when I told them I was going to quit. When I drove past tonight I thought about stopping... just to go in and shoot a 'Finger' to the Cancer Wall.
Maybe I will tomorrow. Drive by. See the ol' fella's that sold me the poison, tell 'em I've got a month tallied in my quit history, and wish them all a happy new year.
"I don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive."
Sounds like the mantra I needed to pass the next trigger test that will no doubt come who knows when.
Cheers! Good stuff, man!

[Kdip]

day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can.  Also made it through several major triggers.  The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp.  Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip.  Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free.  Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in????  Apparently you can, and so can I.  People actually hunt without dip... amazing.  Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented.  I was ready just in case.  Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either.  VICTORY!  2 Triggers down.  Trigger 3 Fishing....  went flyfishing last week, no dip.  Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping.  I never knew that.  Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping.  They still let me catch them.

On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more.  Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...,"  "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on.  Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker."  Are you kidding me?  I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.

Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!

Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

[RAZD611]

day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.

On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.

Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!

Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.

[summit]

day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.

On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.

Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!

[GlennFtheKodiak]

So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream.  Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me.  Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in.  I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor...  what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again.  Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not.  Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you.  Day 14! and keeping the quit.

Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.

Here's an article on "Using Dreams"

When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.

Thanks for the info Helios! Good article. And was glad to see another one of my Marchies had a spitting dream last night.

LOL, oh yes, everyone gets them. they do fuck with you don't they? haven't had one in a while and can't say i miss them.

[summit]

So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream.  Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me.  Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in.  I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor...  what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again.  Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not.  Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you.  Day 14! and keeping the quit.

Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.

Here's an article on "Using Dreams"

When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.

Thanks for the info Helios! Good article. And was glad to see another one of my Marchies had a spitting dream last night.

[Helios]

So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream.  Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me.  Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in.  I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor...  what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again.  Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not.  Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you.  Day 14! and keeping the quit.

Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.

Here's an article on "Using Dreams"

When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.

[summit]

So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream. Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me. Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in. I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor... what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again. Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not. Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you. Day 14! and keeping the quit.

[Fomocosho]

I guess I need to google and find out it there is a forum that will help me kick sunflower seeds.

I thought the same thing the first couple of weeks, damn my mouth hurt, but eventually the need for them went away. Now I rarely eat them, only when I have extreme craves.

If the seeds help with the craves I wouldnt be in too big of a hurry to get rid of them, beat the nic addiction first then go after the oral habit.