Hi all.
I have been smoking on and off for 24 years. I have tried to quit more times than I can count. I tried quitting with the patch, with Welbutrin, with Chantix, going cold turkey and nothing has worked for me for the "long haul".
Many years ago, I quit while pregnant only to begin again within a week or two of having my kids. After that, I quit multiple times but it only lasts a week to about six weeks. Currently, I have been smoking on and off for the last three years, sometimes off for weeks and then sure enough, I'm back at it.
My most recent quit was October 25, 2010. I quit cold turkey and on my own and went 19 weeks (131 days) and then I had a family crisis and I went back to smoking. Now five months later, my family is under control but my smoking is not. IÂ’m hooked again and this time I want to quit and stay quit. At that time, I was very proud of my accomplishment, felt good and thought I had it beat. Now that I'm using nicotine again, I know how addictive it can be and that it will be something I will always struggle with but I have to start sometime.
IÂ’m tired of being a slave to nicotine. IÂ’m scared of what it is doing to my health and my body. IÂ’m struggling right now because IÂ’m scared of the quit but at the same time, IÂ’m scared to smoke as well. I want to be around to enjoy my kids and family. When IÂ’m smoking, I hate it and just want to be done but when IÂ’m not smoking, all I can do is think about it and then the mind games get me every time and I start rationalizing it and before long I cave. This time itÂ’s for good.
I am QUIT.