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Offline AppleJack

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2014, 11:34:00 AM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: baflow7
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.
I'm going to take a different approach, since this same exact thing happened to me. Others may disagree, and that's fine.

Do what you have to do to get yourself right and your anxiety under control. But you must remain quit.

Once you get stable again, you will be back. I guarantee it.

Let the doctors and therapists do their job. Anxiety is a mother fucker. It gets you thinking stuff you have no business thinking and its scary. Good news is you can reverse it and you have taken steps to do so. Shows me you really want this.

Once you get feeling better again you will realize that as great as the doctors/therapists are, they cannot relate to the daily struggles of beating nicotine addiction. That's when you will come back. Things will be less scary and you will be able to handle things better because you wont be riddled with anxiety and you won't be having irrational thoughts.

Get right, stay quit, and come back. I'll still be here.

Take care.

Bump for July 14 peeps.
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Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2014, 12:46:00 PM »
Quote from: baflow7
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.
I'm going to take a different approach, since this same exact thing happened to me. Others may disagree, and that's fine.

Do what you have to do to get yourself right and your anxiety under control. But you must remain quit.

Once you get stable again, you will be back. I guarantee it.

Let the doctors and therapists do their job. Anxiety is a mother fucker. It gets you thinking stuff you have no business thinking and its scary. Good news is you can reverse it and you have taken steps to do so. Shows me you really want this.

Once you get feeling better again you will realize that as great as the doctors/therapists are, they cannot relate to the daily struggles of beating nicotine addiction. That's when you will come back. Things will be less scary and you will be able to handle things better because you wont be riddled with anxiety and you won't be having irrational thoughts.

Get right, stay quit, and come back. I'll still be here.

Take care.
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Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline rdad

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #36 on: March 27, 2014, 12:12:00 PM »
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: baflow7
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.
Dammit! Not yet dude... don't give in. Freedom is just around the corner and you're getting closer. Stay on the path. We're here too...
Baflow
Why not Therapist, Trainer, Parents, Coach AND KTC?
You leaving here is not going to help. Whatever help you find for your anxiety will not be diminished by staying with us. There are a lot of guys here that are standing behind you and some very experienced in what you are going through. Don't Go!
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Offline mich 34

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #35 on: March 27, 2014, 10:40:00 AM »
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my intro
QD 07-19-2012
Group - Roctober Madmen Post with some Madmen (and women)
HOF 10-27-12 HOF Speech
2nd Floor 2-4-13, 3rd Floor 5-15-13
1 year of freedom - 7-19-2013. Thank you KTC
4th Floor 8-23-13, 5th Floor 12-1-13, 6th Floor 3-11-14, 7th Floor 6-19-14, 8th Floor 9-27-14, 9th Floor 1-5-15

Offline AppleJack

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #34 on: March 27, 2014, 10:08:00 AM »
Quote from: baflow7
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.

Dammit! Not yet dude... don't give in. Freedom is just around the corner and you're getting closer. Stay on the path. We're here too...
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Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Offline srans

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #33 on: March 27, 2014, 09:31:00 AM »
Quote from: baflow7
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.
You will do this one day at at a time. You screwed your brain for years,, I say again YEARS!! I'll let you add the days up on your own. You'll probably need a calculator. I say that to say this,,, 11 days is just the beginning. I didn't begin feeling better until about 40 days in. Maybe you will be different though,, you never no. In time you will start to feel better and begin feeling somewhat normal. What is normal exactly!?!? Your guess is as good as mine.

There is a door you need to get to. This door is hard to get to and open. Sharpen your tools, settle in and make your way to the door. I can't tell you how far the door is or how long it will be before you get to this door. You WILL get there one day at a time. I make you one promise and you can take it to the bank. You stay the course, and live by this rule (nafar) you will love where this quit takes you. Life is so much better without the poison.

I would like to end this with one important question. Has your therapist, trainer, coach or parents ever had this addiction and quit. I bet not! You will not find help like this anywhere. Don't walk away from this site! At least give it the 100 days. 11 days isn't long enough my friend. You have a ways to go.
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Hof date may 25, 2013
HoF Speech


The poison sucks. I hate it. I hated it this morning, I hated it at noon, I hated it at supper and I hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. I quit with anyone that wants to hate it with me.

Offline jayd41

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #32 on: March 27, 2014, 09:23:00 AM »
I want you to look at me...Jake Frawley, and a few others before you make that decision. I was past HOF....left the site....now i'm on day 9
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Boy I sure could use a beer right about now!

Offline baflow7

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #31 on: March 27, 2014, 09:06:00 AM »
hey guys thank you so much for all the support so far..I just talked with my therapist this morning and yesterday along with my athletic trainer and coach and parents.

I am going to be taking a break from this site, my anxiety is through the roof and i am overthinking everything. I tend to look at what happens to everyone on the site and immediately think it is going to happen to me even when it is not true. I have been battling anxiety for a long time and this is just something that i need to do for myself to make this quit as easy for me as possible.

I know that a lot of you guys wouldnt reccommend doing this but it is something i have to try in order to try and better myself. I am going back on meds for my anxiety and everything and i am hoping to get better soon. I appreciate everything you guys have done so far, this is just something i need to do for myself. i love all you guys that i have met on here so far and appreciate everything so much.
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Offline Diesel2112

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #30 on: March 25, 2014, 01:20:00 AM »
Quote from: baflow7
Update: Day 8

Today is a lot better than yesterday. I used the temazepam last night and i got a full nights sleep, woke up at 4am to piss but fell back asleep til my alarm at 0730. Today i still am a little edgy. For me the worst part of this whole thing has been the anxiety and the tight chest feeling that drives me crazy. I think that the foggy feeling is what freaks me out the most and it gives me anxiety. I understand its from the nicotine withdrawal and the quit. I give MYSELF anxiety over it and i am just overthinking ever damn thing, making myself all crazy. I am trying to push past it all and not be afraid to do things cause im anxious. I dont really remember how i felt before i chewed, i want to know what it feels like again though. I do know i was a hell of a lot more productive and motivated before i chewed, ill tell you that. Just really want to get to that point again and stop making myself crazy. I am my own worst enemy sometimes and i realize that. I am grateful to have you all to talk to about all this. I know this recent increase in anxiety and slight depression has to do with the withdrawal and the quit because it wasnt really there before the quit, i just need to learn to cope with it better. Day 8, moving forward. Almost double digits.

I also had forgot to mention that i actually got in my lacrosse game this weekend! I am a senior and havent been playing much, even though we were up by 7 in the 4th quarter it was nice to get in and see some burn. Last year of college so i am grateful for that. One picture of me in that portion of the game was actually one of the pics they use in our article on Inside Lacrosse. Positive thoughts right?!
Hang in there bro. I sent you a lengthy PM. Reading that should put you to sleep. LOL

Seriously, it's easy to tell you not to think about stuff so much, but it's extremely hard to do. I know from experience...

I too would get anxious about anxiety. Eventually you just have to say fuck it and embrace the montra, "I do not fear anxiety", "I DO NOT FEAR ANXIETY".

Let the thoughts come, accept and even laugh at them, and move on. It's not worth the wasted energy.

Again, I know it's easier said than done, but as soon as you learn not to fear anxiety the more comfortable you will become.

Try to embrace the journey of finding the real you again. Fuck, you're only 21 years old. You got your whole damn life in front of you, yet.

Very wise move to quit now. Don't fuck it up and don't let a few sleepless nights get to you too much. It's a small price to pay for freedom, trust me.

You got this shit. You fuck it up and I will find you and huck a lacrosse ball at your dick.

Quit on...
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Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline baflow7

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #29 on: March 24, 2014, 10:45:00 AM »
Update: Day 8

Today is a lot better than yesterday. I used the temazepam last night and i got a full nights sleep, woke up at 4am to piss but fell back asleep til my alarm at 0730. Today i still am a little edgy. For me the worst part of this whole thing has been the anxiety and the tight chest feeling that drives me crazy. I think that the foggy feeling is what freaks me out the most and it gives me anxiety. I understand its from the nicotine withdrawal and the quit. I give MYSELF anxiety over it and i am just overthinking ever damn thing, making myself all crazy. I am trying to push past it all and not be afraid to do things cause im anxious. I dont really remember how i felt before i chewed, i want to know what it feels like again though. I do know i was a hell of a lot more productive and motivated before i chewed, ill tell you that. Just really want to get to that point again and stop making myself crazy. I am my own worst enemy sometimes and i realize that. I am grateful to have you all to talk to about all this. I know this recent increase in anxiety and slight depression has to do with the withdrawal and the quit because it wasnt really there before the quit, i just need to learn to cope with it better. Day 8, moving forward. Almost double digits.

I also had forgot to mention that i actually got in my lacrosse game this weekend! I am a senior and havent been playing much, even though we were up by 7 in the 4th quarter it was nice to get in and see some burn. Last year of college so i am grateful for that. One picture of me in that portion of the game was actually one of the pics they use in our article on Inside Lacrosse. Positive thoughts right?!
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Offline Steakbomb18

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2014, 08:02:00 PM »
Quote from: baflow7
Alright I have officially reached the 1 week mark and I am happy to say so. Unfortunately my sleeping habits haven't gotten much better. Slightly yes but I am still having anxiety upon bedtime. I just saw the doctor and I have some temazepam prescribed to help me out with the sleep and anxiety. I am hoping this will help me get into a better sleep pattern. As for today it's 3:00 now I am bout to go study for about and hour then maybe ride the bike or elliptical or run a mile. Then gonna come back and clear my mind and relax. I feel like once I start getting more sleep and my mind calms down into a sleeping pattern that this fog will clear up and I won't feel like a zombie! Being that I hit the day 7 mark I want to thank all of you so far for all the encouragement and support. I just have to stay calm and get past this frustration of sleeping and the anxiety part. Then big things will come. If anyone also has any experience with tamazepam please let me know!
Resident pharmacist here. Temazepam is an older benzodiazepine that causes more sedation and is relatively long-acting compared to others. It would be similar to diazepam (Valium) or flurazepam (Dalmane) along those lines. Ginet is right, there is a hangover effect, especially if you're not used to taking the drug so be sure to allow for a full 8 hours of sleep and see how you feel in the morning. It's relatively safe and has been used as a sleep aid for years. If it still isn't helping, talk to your doctor about zolpidem (Ambien) and drugs similar to that. These are short-acting drugs with much less hangover effect.
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Offline Ginet

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #27 on: March 23, 2014, 06:02:00 PM »
Quote from: baflow7
Alright I have officially reached the 1 week mark and I am happy to say so. Unfortunately my sleeping habits haven't gotten much better. Slightly yes but I am still having anxiety upon bedtime. I just saw the doctor and I have some temazepam prescribed to help me out with the sleep and anxiety. I am hoping this will help me get into a better sleep pattern. As for today it's 3:00 now I am bout to go study for about and hour then maybe ride the bike or elliptical or run a mile. Then gonna come back and clear my mind and relax. I feel like once I start getting more sleep and my mind calms down into a sleeping pattern that this fog will clear up and I won't feel like a zombie! Being that I hit the day 7 mark I want to thank all of you so far for all the encouragement and support. I just have to stay calm and get past this frustration of sleeping and the anxiety part. Then big things will come. If anyone also has any experience with tamazepam please let me know!
Ensure you have enough sleeping hours when you take it. You will wake in a hangover state if not. It will kick in quickly and then you are out for the count....need more info? PM me....

Happy sleeping....and congrats on 7 days of bad ass quitting
G
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The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it. ~ Chinese Proverb
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~ Stephen R. Covey

QD 12/29/13
April 2014 Resolute

Offline baflow7

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #26 on: March 23, 2014, 03:05:00 PM »
Alright I have officially reached the 1 week mark and I am happy to say so. Unfortunately my sleeping habits haven't gotten much better. Slightly yes but I am still having anxiety upon bedtime. I just saw the doctor and I have some temazepam prescribed to help me out with the sleep and anxiety. I am hoping this will help me get into a better sleep pattern. As for today it's 3:00 now I am bout to go study for about and hour then maybe ride the bike or elliptical or run a mile. Then gonna come back and clear my mind and relax. I feel like once I start getting more sleep and my mind calms down into a sleeping pattern that this fog will clear up and I won't feel like a zombie! Being that I hit the day 7 mark I want to thank all of you so far for all the encouragement and support. I just have to stay calm and get past this frustration of sleeping and the anxiety part. Then big things will come. If anyone also has any experience with tamazepam please let me know!
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Offline rdad

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2014, 07:52:00 PM »
Quote from: baflow7
Okay guys it is day 6 today. Tomorrow will be the official week 1 of quit over. Last night I am happy to say that I slept! Thank you to Mich34 Lipizzaner applejack bronc and others for the advice on the sleeping anxiety and stuff. Today I am still in a bit of a fog, anxiety is rather on the higher side today but I am happy I got some sleep last night. Today I just feel kinda out if it and in the fog. But I feel like I'm slowly moving forward!
Keep writing in your intro about how shitty you feel. Believe me . You're going to feel so good sometime soon and you DO NOT want to forget how crappy it is now. Keep going. Post roll EVERYDAY. Keep your vow. Keep trudging forward! There is nothing good behind you, and there is freedom ahead. You are on a righteous path brother!
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Offline baflow7

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Re: Bryan A. Introduction
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2014, 11:26:00 AM »
Okay guys it is day 6 today. Tomorrow will be the official week 1 of quit over. Last night I am happy to say that I slept! Thank you to Mich34 Lipizzaner applejack bronc and others for the advice on the sleeping anxiety and stuff. Today I am still in a bit of a fog, anxiety is rather on the higher side today but I am happy I got some sleep last night. Today I just feel kinda out if it and in the fog. But I feel like I'm slowly moving forward!
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