Brett, your renewed intro is practically plagiarizing something I wrote 280 days ago in my intro. I can't tell you the degree to which I relate to everything you said. You're right though, freedom is so much better than anything dip ever gave you. I remember that buzz from the first dip in awhile and you're right, it felt like I was on top of the world. Then I realized what being on top of the world really meant. Time with my wife, time with my kids, and maybe most importantly time without wondering if I was going to contract cancer that day.
F all that noise my man. What you are doing and what the BAQs are doing is living life without the constant inebriating effect of nicotine. Real life is actually pretty damn great without the anesthetic of nicotine. You can and you will do this. Freedom is so much better than that occasional buzz. I promise you that good days are right around the corner. "Don't give up. Don't ever give up." - Jimmy V