You know what's amazing, too, Pete? Women and their absolutely unconditional love for their man. I won't pretend to know the situation with you and your wife and if it's salvageable, but if the thing that is keeping you separated from a woman you called beautiful (and I'm only to assume that means inside and out), you'll be amazed at what happens when you surrender all. Hell, even involve her in it if you're serious about it. I talk about you guys with my wife EVERY day. I talk about stuff I share at AA meetings. I talk about stuff I've learned both places. I've completely involved the woman that BEGGED me to get help for years, yet stood by my side when she should have given up on me (well, she left me once, but I somehow weaseled my way back in.) All of our relationships are different, but mine with my wife is suddenly awesome, just because she sees me trying a hundred percent every day, she hears the sincerity in my voice when I admit I finally did what she'd wanted all along when I surrendered trying to do it alone, she sees a REAL fucking smile on my face that is not there simply because I got beer and dip waiting for when she goes to sleep.
One word of warning, though. I know there is still distrust in her. She'd be a fool to believe I'm clean and sober forever. She has to protect herself in that regard. I don't blame her at all. So the warning is that once you surrender, you better not half ass it. Go all in. She'll see how serious you are. From that point forward, it's ODAAT until the trust returns. Try it. It's been the best decision of my life. And that's not hyperbole. THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.