Giving up nic once and for all

[PeteHair]

Hey all, I felt great this morning and when I got home this evening, all I could think about was a can. I reached out to Joel and he talked me down from my anxiety, self loathing feelings, and gave me true inspiration to stay quit. One day at a time is the only way amd without Joel picking up his phone and being a brother, I would have caved. I have a plan for tonight to get my energy out and get through the rest of the day. This site works because the people that want you to quit and stay quit are truly gifts that should not be taken for granted.

Thank u Joel, thank u KTC, I believe in you because you believe in all of us struggling with whatever demons take hold.

Much love and respect,

Pete

[gottadoit3]

It's always wise to remember in times of stress to take it one day at a time. Go a step further and take it one moment at a time. That's all we can really do. If you're contemplating getting a nicotine fix and you can't talk yourself out of it, just tell yourself "I won't take another dip in 5 minutes." And just focus on the next 5 minutes. --One step at a time - one minute at a time if you have to.

I think it's great that you have made the decision to quit.

[PhuctUp]

You know what's amazing, too, Pete? Women and their absolutely unconditional love for their man. I won't pretend to know the situation with you and your wife and if it's salvageable, but if the thing that is keeping you separated from a woman you called beautiful (and I'm only to assume that means inside and out), you'll be amazed at what happens when you surrender all. Hell, even involve her in it if you're serious about it. I talk about you guys with my wife EVERY day. I talk about stuff I share at AA meetings. I talk about stuff I've learned both places. I've completely involved the woman that BEGGED me to get help for years, yet stood by my side when she should have given up on me (well, she left me once, but I somehow weaseled my way back in.) All of our relationships are different, but mine with my wife is suddenly awesome, just because she sees me trying a hundred percent every day, she hears the sincerity in my voice when I admit I finally did what she'd wanted all along when I surrendered trying to do it alone, she sees a REAL fucking smile on my face that is not there simply because I got beer and dip waiting for when she goes to sleep.

One word of warning, though. I know there is still distrust in her. She'd be a fool to believe I'm clean and sober forever. She has to protect herself in that regard. I don't blame her at all. So the warning is that once you surrender, you better not half ass it. Go all in. She'll see how serious you are. From that point forward, it's ODAAT until the trust returns. Try it. It's been the best decision of my life. And that's not hyperbole. THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

[CavMan83]

If you read enough around here, sooner or later you'll come across the phrase "problem + nicotine = 2 problems". I think you have recently discovered the truth in that saying. Your recent fall should have provided you enough factual evidence to believe that. Now when you add in alcoholism, it's taking this issue to a whole 'nother level.

I can't speak to the problems with alcohol abuse or the bi=polar, manic/depressive stuff. All I know is that nicotine will NOT make dealing with any of those any easier. Your profile says "30 something living in Texas with a decent job and a beautiful wife. ......... need to quit to save my marriage."

I would suggest you need to do more than just quit to save your marriage. You need to show your beautiful wife that you have found the methods necessary to conquer those demons which have driven her from you, and that you'd do whatever it takes to keep them conquered. As you probably have learned by now, there's not a single quitter here that wants you to fail.....

Having said that, there's not a single quitter here that can KEEP you from failing.....that responsibility is all yours bubba. All we can do is provide some tools, advice, and accountability. But you have to own it.

Glad you realized the first step was to come back. Now let's get to quitting! I'll quit with you every day you're willing to...

And oh, BTW, the posts immediately above and below this one were written by someone who's been in pretty low places, so he speaks with a wisdom that can only be derived from his experiences....if I were you, I'd pay attention.

[PhuctUp]

Pete, coming from someone who has recently taken the plunge into both, add AA to your arsenal here at KTC. I read somewhere once that alcoholics come in many shapes and severities, but one sign of alcoholism is turning to it to numb pain. You did that. You drank to "compensate" other shit in your life. That's a sign. Even if you don't consider yourself a "true" alcoholic, go to a few meetings and see if you don't find yourself a little bit at home in those rooms. If you embrace the support, if you truly surrender your addictions and let others help you with them, I think you'll find a relief that you undoubtedly need. If you ever want to call and talk to me about what AA already means to me and how I think it might help you, I'll make sure I have, in fact, sent you my number as soon as I post this reply. Between KTC and my new AA support, I am literally unencumbered with the stress of fighting my addictions alone.

And regardless of whether or not you are an alcoholic, have you ever met anybody that actually NEEDS alcohol to survive? And you didn't say, but if these are medications that might be prescribed for the rest of your life, I'm assuming alcohol isn't a good idea anyway. Go to a few meetings and hear some stories about how some people very, very much like you have learned to live without it. Want another perk? I guarantee that you will hear a story at your VERY FIRST meeting that will make you feel like your life ain't so bad. There's a whole lot of fucked up people in this world that are a lot more fucked up than you and I. But they're also amazing human beings that finally realized they were powerless over alcohol (or tobacco as is the case here) and sought help. It takes a big, strong man to do that.

[SuccessThisTime]

Pete - keep up the fight. It's worth it to get rid of one demon, even if you have several. You have my number.

[sfurze76]

here for you you got my digits use them if needed

[BrianG]

Pete,
Glad to see you are committed to quitting nicotine. Post roll early everyday and keep your word. Take tobacco off the table as an option to dealing with life's problems. As you found out, caving did not help anything, and probably just made some things worse. Use those digits as needed and stay quit

Proud to quit with you!!

BrianG

[PeteHair]

Hi I am Pete. Otherwise known as PeteHair. I have been on the site now for 22 days. Those of you who have supported me and are in the September quit group know that I caved on my day 20. I've been using tobacco for nearly 20 years on and off. I had two years completely tobacco free until my wife left me about a year ago. That triggered so much turmoil inside of myself that I broke my promise to be tobacco free and began drinking heavily to compensate. Since that time my wife and I had real reconciled our differences and were able to move forward, unfortunately there are many other demons in my life that were preventing me from being a good husband and true to myself. As some of you may know my wife left me again she is providing me a support system while I'm going through my nicotine withdrawals alcohol with drawls and my recent diagnosis with bipolar disorder. The medications they have me on have really fucked with my equilibrium. My disorder makes quitting nicotine difficult and with my mood swing from up to down to high to low to manic to depressed I'm going to need this for more than ever to help get me through this. Quitting nicotine is one part of my battle but I will succeed. All the other shit in my life I have to figure out a way to deal with it and I have to figure out a way to deal with it without considering nicotine. Thank you so much for this group it means so much to get texts every day from people I don't even know they're going through the same struggles. Some are on day one and some just keep going, a true inspiration. I'm ready to quit with all of you.