day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.
On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.
Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!