Good morning!
Up until Jan 15th of this year I had been dipping regularly, every day, for the last 15-16 years. Sure, I've had several times that I "stopped" using for 3 days here, 2 months there but it was only to start using again and seemed like more and more each time I started again.
I don't know exactly what it was this time that made me want to try and kick it again. Maybe it was that pain in my jaw, pain in my teeth? The extreme anxiety I had with the possibility of having something really wrong with me? The fact that I finally actually realized how freaking stupid it is/was or how much I was spending on it? Finally realizing the potential pain and suffering I am intentionally going to put my family thru if, God forbid, something was really wrong?
I can say it was one thing or the other, more like all of the above, but on January 15th 2018, I gave away my 3/4 full can of red seal natural fine cut, saying I was done for good.(Looking back now I wish I would have dumped that shit. I know it was so freakin stupid to basically help someone destroy their body.)
I have creeped this site for the last 30 days or so. I've done a lot of reading on about every single section you can, on this forum and on the KTC website. Even tho I have only been a creeper up until today, I have still gained a lot of knowledge and support over the last 30 days. I know I've seen several and I mean several people in here say it, but I didn't actually understand and realize how much of a brother/sisterhood this is until I read Todd Garcia's thread today. If that pull at you emotionally and put things into perspective, nothing will.
So I say all of that to say that I felt very selfish after all of these days and not posting my story or saying a word. Not much of a story I know, but if my few words might or will help someone else, who freakin cares.
So If you're out there like I was/am and afraid of what you might look like or sound like, suck it up because from everything I have seen you will get nothing but support here as long as you are honest about everything.
gwhits - 30 days quit