My Journey Starts Now!

[Gunnar]

Hope all is well brother!

[worktowin]

Man, Brothers and Sisters, if you haven't yet, get your asses to the Dentist. Little back story on me. My Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles on my Mom & Dads side have what is known as Sot Teeth.. All of them but 1 Uncle that spent thousands on his teeth all have false teeth... You would of thought that would been enough to keep me away from the dip. Well it didn't and now I am paying the price.

The past few weeks I have been hitting the dentist to make sure everything is good. 2 Weeks ago I had 3 teeth pulled, and now I am looking at getting 4 more pulled. This is something I am ashamed of, but I am dealing with the Price of Dipping for over 20 Years.. I'm embarrassed to even be typing this here in a public forum, but if I can help just one person it is worth it to me.

I am using this experience to teach some young dipper out there, and of course my two beautiful daughter's to keep them away from the dip. I was up all night last night dealing with the pain, didn't get to bed until 4:30am when I finally just passed out. Nothing was working for the pain. Sad to think a few times I would buy my daughters some of the shredded Beef Jerky and they would sit there and put it in their mouths and "Dip like Daddy" I think I have put the fear into their minds that Dipping is NOT cool.

I am so Proud of my Mayhem 19 Brothers! These gents are really Masters in the Quit, the train is starting to fill up. Today OBB and Allpuck posted a cool quote from a vet quitter and I want to post it here in hopes My Brothers will look back on it and remember, and any new quitters that join KTC will read and it will stick in their heads.

 
"Been thinking a lot about this whole "it gets better" voodoo that we all parrot over and over.  I know I didn't really believe it when I was just past the hall and trudging through the motions trying like hell to stay clean and watching my group lose quitters.  Always lead me to think - if it is OK for them, why not me?

I remember another thing I did in these types of situations.  Go find some "active", crusty old vet - I'd suggest a guy like Hydro because he is quit friggen YODA - shoot him a pm.  Ask him questions about what it is like now.  Find these 6, 7, 8 year quitters who are still here every day - though not overly active - and ask them.  Don't take my word for it.  Ask them what it is like.  Ask them if it was all worth it.  There HAS to be a reason guys like Hydro and others still post roll like it is their job.  We are all pretty busy guys with professional lives and work responsibilities, with families and probably have FAR better things to do than troll internet forums for nic addicts.  Yet here we all are - in the same boat.

I bet you'll hear the same story over and over.  Take it on faith that shit gets so much fucking better you can't possibly imagine.  I sure as shit didn't until one day, I realized it had.  I challenge you all to keep the focus on TODAY - every day and everything will get worked out in time.  Get rid of the thoughts of "by now, I should feel ______" because I can promise you those expectations will lead to let down.  Instead, try "Today I will not use nicotine" and go live your life without thinking about where you think you ought to be at this point.  You are exactly where you all should be.  There is a reason I hate the hall...sure it is a bad ass benchmark but after that, it is just another +1.  My worst days were AFTER the hall.  My best days were ahead of me - I just didn't believe it.

Keep the faith brothers.  You are all killing it - and winning - it just doesn't feel like it most days.  I promise that changes."

My biggest fear is after May 19 is no longer in the Pre - Hall of Fame area and becomes just another group. I fear of the Brothers dropping 1 by 1 from Roll. This journey is not just to 100 Days, it goes far beyond that. We are not "Cured" after 100 Days, shit I went a Year and a Half once on my Own, the numbers in my phone will never get deleted, because I know some day I may need them. All it took was one shitty day to start back up again.

To my Masters of Mayhem Brothers. I am damn proud of you all, sure we lost a few along the way, some were just not ready to quit, a couple caved, a couple left because of the "Drama" on the Board of the Vets trying to whip our asses into shape. Like any elite group, we weeded out all the non hackers who were not ready, I do hope someday to see those names back in another group, ready to start over and toss that can or pouch, and enjoy the freedom we are all feeling!

Well that's all for today.

Rick Jr 111

Day 2,331.  Guess how many I've missed on roll???  Rick, you are a winner.  It is easy to read in the passion of your writing.  Winners post roll. 

What happens in your group after HOF is not in your control.  But your actions are.  This quit is about you.  And you are killing it.

[Rick Jr]

Man, Brothers and Sisters, if you haven't yet, get your asses to the Dentist. Little back story on me. My Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles on my Mom & Dads side have what is known as Sot Teeth.. All of them but 1 Uncle that spent thousands on his teeth all have false teeth... You would of thought that would been enough to keep me away from the dip. Well it didn't and now I am paying the price.

The past few weeks I have been hitting the dentist to make sure everything is good. 2 Weeks ago I had 3 teeth pulled, and now I am looking at getting 4 more pulled. This is something I am ashamed of, but I am dealing with the Price of Dipping for over 20 Years.. I'm embarrassed to even be typing this here in a public forum, but if I can help just one person it is worth it to me.

I am using this experience to teach some young dipper out there, and of course my two beautiful daughter's to keep them away from the dip. I was up all night last night dealing with the pain, didn't get to bed until 4:30am when I finally just passed out. Nothing was working for the pain. Sad to think a few times I would buy my daughters some of the shredded Beef Jerky and they would sit there and put it in their mouths and "Dip like Daddy" I think I have put the fear into their minds that Dipping is NOT cool.

I am so Proud of my Mayhem 19 Brothers! These gents are really Masters in the Quit, the train is starting to fill up. Today OBB and Allpuck posted a cool quote from a vet quitter and I want to post it here in hopes My Brothers will look back on it and remember, and any new quitters that join KTC will read and it will stick in their heads.

 
"Been thinking a lot about this whole "it gets better" voodoo that we all parrot over and over.  I know I didn't really believe it when I was just past the hall and trudging through the motions trying like hell to stay clean and watching my group lose quitters.  Always lead me to think - if it is OK for them, why not me?

I remember another thing I did in these types of situations.  Go find some "active", crusty old vet - I'd suggest a guy like Hydro because he is quit friggen YODA - shoot him a pm.  Ask him questions about what it is like now.  Find these 6, 7, 8 year quitters who are still here every day - though not overly active - and ask them.  Don't take my word for it.  Ask them what it is like.  Ask them if it was all worth it.  There HAS to be a reason guys like Hydro and others still post roll like it is their job.  We are all pretty busy guys with professional lives and work responsibilities, with families and probably have FAR better things to do than troll internet forums for nic addicts.  Yet here we all are - in the same boat.

I bet you'll hear the same story over and over.  Take it on faith that shit gets so much fucking better you can't possibly imagine.  I sure as shit didn't until one day, I realized it had.  I challenge you all to keep the focus on TODAY - every day and everything will get worked out in time.  Get rid of the thoughts of "by now, I should feel ______" because I can promise you those expectations will lead to let down.  Instead, try "Today I will not use nicotine" and go live your life without thinking about where you think you ought to be at this point.  You are exactly where you all should be.  There is a reason I hate the hall...sure it is a bad ass benchmark but after that, it is just another +1.  My worst days were AFTER the hall.  My best days were ahead of me - I just didn't believe it.

Keep the faith brothers.  You are all killing it - and winning - it just doesn't feel like it most days.  I promise that changes."

My biggest fear is after May 19 is no longer in the Pre - Hall of Fame area and becomes just another group. I fear of the Brothers dropping 1 by 1 from Roll. This journey is not just to 100 Days, it goes far beyond that. We are not "Cured" after 100 Days, shit I went a Year and a Half once on my Own, the numbers in my phone will never get deleted, because I know some day I may need them. All it took was one shitty day to start back up again.

To my Masters of Mayhem Brothers. I am damn proud of you all, sure we lost a few along the way, some were just not ready to quit, a couple caved, a couple left because of the "Drama" on the Board of the Vets trying to whip our asses into shape. Like any elite group, we weeded out all the non hackers who were not ready, I do hope someday to see those names back in another group, ready to start over and toss that can or pouch, and enjoy the freedom we are all feeling!

Well that's all for today.

Rick Jr 111 

[Rick Jr]

Man what a great Saturday I had. A few buddies and I found this Older Gent that is starting a Homestead. He's 58 and dealing with Parkinson's Disease. We went to hep him do a few things around his Property. Built some Sheds, cleared land for a garden, set up Chicken areas. It was a long ass cool day, but man did it feel great to be outdoors with a small circle of friends, just helping someone in need.

So here I sit 110 Days into my quit, this day is a little special for me, I always say "I give 110% in anything I do" This quit has effected my life like I never thought it would. When I joined KTC, I figured "Ok make it to Day 100 and it's done" But it's never done. I have made a lot of awesome Friends here, People I think of as Brothers. We lost some early in our quit, but we gained more. Working on the SSOA, tracking down my Brothers as the day grew short, all fun. I truly care for my Brothers and their quit, like it was my own.

Well it's Mother's Day and I am the only one in the house up, besides the Dog, so time to get things ready for the Wife to have an easy day and to visit my Mom. Hope everyone has a great day today!   

[Rick Jr]

Congrats brother.  We’ll see you on roll in the AM’s!

Every Damn Day Brother, I'm keeping the beer cold for you. Keep up the great work! Thank you Brother

[Gunnar]

Congrats brother.  We’ll see you on roll in the AM’s!

[Rick Jr]

So here I sit, on the Eve of Hall of Fame... Day 99. The past few weeks has been crazy, Work stress pushing me to the limits, this and that, if it could go wrong.. it did. But with my Brothers having my back, making me laugh, taking my mind of things, it's helped a lot.

Day 99.. It should feel a bit more special for me, but I have been here before, just not on KTC, I made it 1.5 Years, but the difference is, I have my Mayhem Brothers. This time it is different. I am the type of guy that don't like the attention. I would rather see my Brothers get it, because they deserve it just as much as I do, but their day will come. I hope they are just as proud about it as I am. With out my Brothers I am just a guy, doing what I do, my Brothers make this what it is.

If someone new comes to KTC and see's this.. All I want to say is Welcome, Drink all the Kool Aid you can, Read Everything, Contact your Brothers / Sisters in Quit, Swap numbers, Text, Call, PM, Groupme with them. Get active on the Boards, Remember your Quit group is YOUR Home, Use it and Respect it. Become a team as soon as you can.. No one on this site can do it a lone.. You are a Team and you are only as Strong as your Weakest Link. Always remember the Vets are here for you, they will give you a hard time if they don't see you are becoming One Team, but they care, We have all had the feelings, the rage, craves, you name it. Drink the Kool Aid my Friends, Dive in 100%

Rick Jr

[Rick Jr]

It's been far to long since I have posted. I guess it's because I don't want to dwell on it all. Just do my thing One Day at a time. 78 Days in, Feeling good. Do I miss it? Yeah... Do I need it? Not in the least. Dip didn't make me cool or a Cowboy, it drained my Wallet.. Like a Smoker I always remember saying "I ain't paying this much for a Tin of Dip" (I started when Grizzly just had Wintergreen and was only .99 Cents a tin, Now almost $8)

I read from a Brother about the "Daily Feeling" We wake up, post and go about our day.. The Daily Grind, Piss Post, go to work, drive home, relax, eat, go to bed and do it again tomorrow.. Yes it gets old fast. I hate Winter (Vermont is not the Best Place for this, But it's Home) Cabin Fever is High, I get bored, look for something to do.. We all deal with this, We need to Work to Live and pay the Bills.. We got this...

That's all for now.

[Rick Jr]

I hope everyone is doing good so far this weekend. I know the crave can become overbearing but lets not forget why were here!

We have one life my friends, let us not fall victim to this drug called nicotine.

I promise you all this friday night the dip will not hit my lips!!!!! ODAAT

Amen Brother! Proud to quit with you! Everyone in May 19 has my digits, and those of others. Use them, do not be ashamed. Most of you guys are hitting the Dirty 30's I was feeling great until 34-36 fog, shakes, etc. I relied on my digits, the guys talked me down. The Anxiety was real. Be alert, and do what you need to do. Being an Addict sucks, but we are blessed to have each other.

Please don't think of me as a Leader of this group. We are ALL Equal, we are all going through the Same Hell. Together we are Strong. I am Proud of Each and every one of you!

Quit On!

[AWright2262]

I hope everyone is doing good so far this weekend. I know the crave can become overbearing but lets not forget why were here!

We have one life my friends, let us not fall victim to this drug called nicotine.

I promise you all this friday night the dip will not hit my lips!!!!! ODAAT

[Rick Jr]

Below is a Post I made on Day 41 of my Quit. It is also my 100th Post and I want to save it here, for the new folks in hopes they can maybe learn something from it.

Here is about all I have to say. I have fucked up a few times, I have been bitched at, and it was a little harsh. At a few points I almost said "Fuck It All". I know the quit has to be about me, but I am here because of my Brothers.. I don't want to let them down, simple as that, it's not about me, it's about my Brothers reaching out to me in a hard time, Just shooting the shit and getting through the Suck of it all.

Something the Vet's have to remember, us new quitters are going through hell, you all have learned how to deal with the Suck and life after the Nic Bitch. We are all addicts yes, but we are new, our heads are not right.

Now Penree, has gone MIA, has not answered PM's and not shared digits with me. BrianD was sick a couple of days ago and answered my PM saying he was sorry, I gave him my digits, but that's all I can do. I can't force him to use them. Toss me a text for a pick up, I don't mind. I like the extra work I have been given with the SSOA and don't mind doing it, if anyone wants to help let me know, the work has helped calm some tough craving times, keeps my mind busy.

Quitting cold turkey as you all know, sucks ass! Many times I thought about finger fucking a tin, because I know it will give instant relief, but I can't and won't go back. It's a temporary fix to a problem.. We need to learn to live a life once again without Nicotine. After 41 days, my head is still not right. There are days I want to call out from Work, lock myself in my Mancave, or days I want to drive my truck off the road... I have thought about going to the doctors and get Wellbutrin, then I see the side affects.

To any brother that has gone AWOL, we are still here for you. This is not a "Safe Place" no stuffed animals or cry closets. Quitting Sucks, no one likes a Quitter, but this comes down to life or death. Do we really need Dip? Fuck no we don't. It changes our moods, gives us false hope. Reach out to people. I have to say I have never met anyone here in person, but I do care about you. This is why I text or PM you. I'm worried you are having a hard time, I have no idea what you are doing at any given second of the day. WUPP. We all wake up, we all Piss in the Morning. Get on your phone and make your Promise, then go about your day. Sure some of us sleep in on the weekend, whatever day of the week that may be, but we all with the grace of God wake up.

I have taken crap from the wife asking who is texting me all the time, I tell her my Quit brothers, she don't get it. She has access to my phone, I have nothing to hide. Sometimes I ignore text, it's wrong, but sometimes I'm not in the mood. I do check them in case it is a brother in need.

Brotherhood is a strange thing, it's something I love in life being a Firefighter / EMT and a Military Hopeful (Car accident took that from me)

BrianD and Penree if you see this reach out, stay quit with us, suck it up and move on. No one here is Perfect, we don't claim to be, I have been told if I fuck up I'm gone, I'm fine with that, but the digits I have will never leave my phone. If I ever removed from KTC, I would still be in contact with folks. People here care, even if they are bitching you out. Remember we are new, we may be quit for 40 Days, but we are new and we still have to learn to live without a dip in our lip.

That's all I have to say about that...

[Rick Jr]

I agree, we will forever be remembered as the Masters of Mayhem May 19, it has stuck, but the biggest thing is I am Proud to be in this Quit with all of you!

I have pretty much taken over the SSOA Spreadsheet, if anyone wants to help let me know!

We have a lot of folks posting "Zeros" today and that's a good thing. We have had members use the digits for support (Myself included) and that is awesome to see! Keep up the Awesome Work all!

[Gunnar]

I’m also good with the name, pretty sure it has stuck now. 

[VMan]

I am good with the name. It seems to have stuck. I think it would be silly to change it. Also, I am on the Group Me page but I am not interested in Facebook.

[Zeus]

You guys should delegate the work. Get 5 people. Have each of those 5 responsible for making contact with a list of 4, 5, 6, 7 other quitters in the group. Make an introduction. Give numbers - request numbers. Make 100% contact. No man gets left behind. Some might resist getting involved. Draw them out. At the very least, they can't say they didn't have anyone to call. This could get done today or tomorrow. Let's hear a progress report of the % contacted tomorrow.

You all are doing a terrific job. It's not easy making sure  no one is getting left behind.
It takes a coordinated effort.

You're probably  familiar with the Incident Commander method of organizing and planning? Decentralized nodes of leadership responsible for separate sectors? Redundancies and multiple layers of leadership?

Ask for volunteers. Many are eager to start giving something back, and it will give them something to do.

Now, ensure all group members get a copy of the Contract To Give Up from the sector leaders. Have it explained to them to print it out and to keep it on their person. Explain that they are to sign and date in ink and to notify one of their sector leaders (just don't call it that) before they give up on the quit. Group members need to be available to take those types of calls. They aren't fun, but will happen. This is the foundation of real brotherhood.

https://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?topic=946.0