124. How fast things can change. Looked at my last post, just 4 measly days ago and I was going strong. About day 122, thoughts crept in. "Just one, to show myself that it's nothing and I'll jump right back out"
That right there is a dangerous thought. I think back on that, and the ONLY reasons I did not cave were as follows.
I texted TONS of brothers. I read until my eyes hurt on the site. Still needing more I set out to talk to some vets, get some advice. Seeing my unbreakable, ridiculously quit, brother Skol post some words of wisdom, I read about reaching out to vets to strengthen your quit. So I talked with Pab1964, he gave me some great insight. We exchanged digits, and I have one more check of accountability and another resource to use when that whore tries to pull me away from my brothers.
I then reached out to some in my very own group, which I'm ashamed to say, I just recently exchanged digits with. I feel like I should have them all by now, but I dont. I will though.
After all that, today i woke up with a pounding headache. Not quite a migraine, but I did end up puking my guts out at work. Not from my stomache, but my head spinning. I cant tell if its late fog, or what, but it finally let up this evening.
I didnt get to post support in all the groups I wanted, but came here instead. Trying to keep these days noted, so when I'm on day 5000 I can look back and say "shiiiiit, look how damn far I've come", "look what I went through to get here".
125 days ago, I didnt have this. I wasnt this strong. I just have to keep that in the forefront of my mind. I cant always do that on my own yet. But I'll get there. With my brothers. One. Day. At. A. Time.
