SRains918

[BluManChew]

Something worth hearing. Really drives the nail in even more for me.

Two years...hard to believe two whole fucking years have passed!  Congrats to you, and thanks for being apart of my quit.

BMC 730

[NurseFarmer]

Something worth hearing. Really drives the nail in even more for me.

[Judaculla]

Two Years... Holy Shit...

This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.


I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...


I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for.  I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.


All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.


Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?


It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.


It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.


Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.

Thank you for what you have and continue to do. Proud to quit with you.

That’s some beautiful, deeply real, and heartfelt stuff right there, Mr. Rains. Proud to be quit with you.

[Keith0617]

Two Years... Holy Shit...

This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.


I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...


I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for.  I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.


All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.


Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?


It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.


It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.


Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.

Thank you for what you have and continue to do. Proud to quit with you.

[SRains918]

Two Years... Holy Shit...

This past Sunday was my two year quit anniversary. Two. Fucking. Years. Quit.


I've spent a fair amount of time over the last week or so trying to reflect on what that actually means to me and what's changed in these last two years. It's been one hell of a ride so far, that's for damn sure...


I've come across a fair number of people over the course of the last two years. Many have come and gone - some on their own, and some were deservedly shown the door. I've seen quitters that I have tremendous respect for drift and fade. I've continuously refreshed my quit by staying active in the new groups and have met some badass newer quitters that I have a shitload of respect for.  I've battled debilitating depression and anxiety at times, especially early in my quit. Two years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship and getting divorced. Now I'm getting married (not many people know that, so it'll be interesting to see who texts me after reading this). I've suffered personally difficult losses with the passing of my grandparents (who were an incredibly important part of my life). My family has seen horrible, horrible things happen on one sisters side and a cancer battle for another sister that's ongoing. My kids have continued to evolve into functional adults and my grandson has started kindergarten. I finished a long run coaching soccer for my sons HS and retired last year, only to recently be enticed back to coaching for my grandson and his kindergarten team. In short, life has happened, and I have been quit through it all.


All of these things comprise what we call "normal life". This isn't a contest to see who's had a shittier time of it. I know some people on here that have been through what I would consider to be far more difficult struggles, and they have remained quit through it all. I'm not special. That's the point of this message. I am not better than you are. If you're reading this and contemplating whether or not you should quit - do it. Now. Seriously. Right now. Spit it out, find your quit group, and post your day 1. In two years, YOU can post something like this in YOUR intro.


Why are so many people successful quitting nicotine with KTC? Every single one of us has tried to do this on our own and has failed, or we wouldn't have found KTC in the first place. What sets this apart?


It's not necessarily the absolute wealth of quit wisdom evident throughout the site, although that's part of it. Certainly the idea of making a daily promise is incredibly important. I have yet to miss a roll post in the first 730+. I don't forsee a case where I miss roll, certainly not intentionally. Clearly those things are important. Accountability - that's HUGE. Having your feet held to the fire when you act like the addict you are is a critical component of quitting. None of these things compete with the Brotherhood aspect in my opinion, and it's not even close.


It is the people that I have met through KTC that matter the most to me at this stage in my quit. These relationships are built to stand the test of time. I have been through hell and back with my FURY brothers and sisters and I love and appreciate each and every one of them in their own way. I'm sure it drives them crazy sometimes at two years in, but I still reach out and harass them when they're not on roll. The vets that came before me will always hold a special place in my heart. They did for me what I'm trying to do for others - help show them how to quit. I don't interact with all of them outside these walls, but I appreciate them none the less. The newbies - they keep my quit young and remind me where I've been. I need to have you in my life as well because your pain reminds me of my pain. Your struggles remind me of mine. Everything you're going through now helps remind me why I don't want to go through that hell again. Hopefully in return I provide some small glimmer of hope for you for the future. This is possible.


Then there's you fuckers. The ones I originally sat down to type about. The ones that are going to be stuck with me no matter what, pretty much forever... The power of KTC doesn't lie in the method of posting or the setup of the groups or the wisdom throughout the site. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are important, they're just not what truly drives this place. The power of this site lies within the people that quit here. Those of you that have had a profound impact on my life over the last two years, thank you. I would not be here without your help. There have been far, far too many to list and I'm not going to piss someone off by leaving them off a thank you list. You know who you are. I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you.

[69franx]

700! Hoary Chit man! Congrats and keep kicking ass!

[Athan]

600 is the shizzle.  Amazing what you can do ODAAT!  Thanks for all the love!

[SRains918]

599 / 2

Many of you are aware that I've had a pretty shitty couple of weeks personally. That's actually NOT why I dropped that second number back to 1 yesterday morning (no, "Fatty McFatty" didn't "cave" on food or exercise), and I'll get to all of that in a minute...

First though I want to thank those of you that have reached out over the past few weeks to make sure I'm doing ok. I have had quite a bit of time to process all that's happened, and I really appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers and support along the way. I know I've been incredibly sporadic in terms of the site, but that's unfortunately been what I've needed to do to maintain my sanity...

The good news is that there's light at the end of the tunnel (and I'm reasonably sure it's not a train this time)! While it's been hard losing my grandmother, I've known for years this time was coming and did my best to prep for it. My son and I spent as much time with them as we could over the last few years, if for no other reason than to let my mom Skype with them every other weekend while she lived abroad, and I know that I've truly been blessed to have them in my life as long as I did. She is pain free and at peace, and we'll lay her to rest with my grandfather next week.

There are only a handful of people that know about the other part of the family drama I've been dealing with since just after Christmas and I don't intend to share that any more than I already have, but that came to a conclusion last Wednesday as well. Now it's a matter of healing and trying to move forward as best they can, and all I can do from this point on is offer my love and support as they work through it all. I do feel as if a weight has been lifted from me though with this resolution...

Through it all (last week especially) I've posted roll, kept my word, and repeated the next day. The biggest win? Zero craves. If you're reading this and thinking about quitting (or wondering if it's worth staying quit) I promise you it's worth every bit of the struggle to get to this point. I had an incredibly shitty week and never once considered whether stuffing poison into my face would help (spoiler alert - it won't). With the support of this site, and more importantly the people posting on it, I conquered what would have killed a stoppage if I were trying to do this alone. This is where I know I would have failed if I'd chosen to drift and fade and walk away at any point over those first 600 days. Caving was never on the table though. WUPP took care of that every single day.


So, why the "2" again?



I got on the scale a couple weeks ago for my regular Monday morning weigh in and found that I'd gained about four pounds. I knew that couldn't be right because I'd pretty much been following the same eating and exercise patterns. Puzzled, I put the scale back and started getting ready for work. It bugged the shit out of me though, so I stripped back down, re-weighed myself, and found that I'd LOST around three to four pounds. I hadn't taken an 8-pound crap in the middle, so wtf???

It turns out that I am able to get about an 8-9 pound swing on my scale by moving it around in my bathroom and putting it on different areas of the tile. So, even though I know I've lost at least SOME weight (even the high side is lower than I started) I really can't honestly claim that I know how much at this point. I feel better, as evidenced by the distance I've been walking and that it takes more for me to get winded, but quantitatively I have no legitimate way to measure progress that I can say for certain is correct. As an engineer I want some hard and fast numbers and stats to analyze dammit! Things are supposed to be MEASURED!!!

The scale has been relocated to it's "original" location in the spare room with the exercise equipment (I'd moved it when I started this personal challenge to make the scale more accessible and top of mind), and I've verified that it's consistent over the last few days by climbing on and off several times a day to be sure. I've taken this "break" to deal with family challenges, but didn't "cave" on my eating or exercise goals. I've also concluded that I need hard and fast numbers to go after in terms of weight loss. Saying that I need to lose a "shitload" doesn't cut it.

So, these are the goals I am setting:

Weight - 50 pounds total lost from yesterday's weigh-in
Time - No set timeline (I still want this to be a healthy lifestyle change rather than one and done)
Distance - Two miles per day minimum to start this week, bumping half a mile a day every other week after that (2, 2.5, 3, 3.5, 4, 4.5, 5, etc. until I'm limited by time then I'll re-evaluate).
Walking sessions - Twice per day for distance (morning and night) with approximately half of my distance in each, plus walking the property every two hours at work (3-4x per day). May need to adjust a bit when it gets too hot to walk the dog.

I've also moved my weigh in from Monday to Sunday. Monday makes more sense from a "work week" perspective, but Sunday is easier from a "tracking my distance" perspective.


Tracking:
Weight:  -0.0 of -50.0 lbs total
Distance:  0.0 of 2.0 per day
Mornings: 0 of 7
Evenings: 0 of 7

I'll probably still report my numbers on Monday morning because it's just easier...

Thank you all again for your support!

[SRains918]

578 / 43

Weight this week is -1.4 lbs
Overall weight is -10.6 lbs in six weeks
Activity is +10.1 miles this week vs a goal of +14.0

"Notes for the week" - I didn't really like the "Excuse" heading. There are no excuses. At my weight this is every bit as life and death as quitting dipping was. I won't accept excuses, and you shouldn't either. I was actually closer to my goals for the week than my numbers indicate. I was a day behind last week when I posted, so this is a "six day week" to get me back on a Mon-Mon schedule for my posts.

"What am I going to do differently" - Nothing significant. I was reasonably pleased with the numbers from last week, considering they were a day short. Still a little short of where I want to be from a mileage standpoint, but I know what I need to do to get there and I'm happy that I'm able to feel a difference in stamina. It's not a lot, but it's a definite improvement. I think the important thing for me right now is to power through the little bit of a lull I'm in and really focus next week and onward! The 20-25 degree swings in temperature from one day to the next haven't been helping, but I've been able to work around it by walking early and around at work a little.

[Broccoli-saurus]

Good job, stains.

[SRains918]

572 / 37

Weight this week is -1.2 lbs
Overall weight is -9.2 lbs in five weeks
Activity is +8.2 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5

"Excuse of the week" - Easter. It's not really an excuse, just an opportunity for improvement that I feel like I took some advantage of. Pretty happy that I was able to continue downward this week (-1.2 lbs) even with the big holiday meal on Sunday. I stuck with smaller portions (including dessert, which was my personal favorite - my moms lemon merengue pie from my great grandmothers recipe...) and avoided seconds. It was still a high calorie day, but substantially less than it would have been in the past. I'm not sure many people know this about me, but I absolutely LOVE to cook and the big holiday family style meals are my favorite. I kept my taste testing to a minimum and adjusted what I had for dinner to even account for that.

"What am I going to do differently" - Time to focus on bumping my mileage. I'm still short of my daily/weekly goal as far as my activity goes. I believe I'm on the right track from a dietary standpoint (with a few things to work on), but activity has consistently been lower than it should. No excuse this week. I want +14.0 (an extra two miles per day). Stamina improvements have helped because my morning walk is now approximately the equivalent of what I was doing in a day, but I've been dropping the ball after that. The heat hasn't helped in that I'm not walking the dog in the afternoon/evenings, but there's no reason I can't jump on the treadmill for 15-20 minutes in the evenings. I've been using "playing with my grandson" as an excuse for not doing that in the evenings as we have him five nights a week for a few hours, but if I dump the seat down on the elliptical I'm sure he'd be more than happy to exercise with me!

[Broccoli-saurus]

564 / 29

Weight this week is unknown (only because I didn't weigh in last week)
Overall weight is -8.0 lbs in four weeks
Activity is +6.4 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5

"Excuse of the week" - None this week. I feel like I'm back on track after fighting through these back issues. They're still popping up a bit, but I'm learning when to take it easy to take a little pressure off of it.

"What am I going to do differently" - Still, nothing significant. I'm a bit disappointed that I'm only at -8.0 after four weeks (hoping to be at -10.0 this morning), but I realize that I'm in this for the long haul. Rapid weight loss sounds great and I know I could shed this faster, but I know for me it's not sustainable and that ultimately 2-3 pounds a week is something I can do consistently for quite a while... I do need to be better about ramping my activity though. Even with the back pain I'd hoped for better mileage this week. I'll be sure to improve that for next week.

Great job sticking to it.

[SRains918]

564 / 29

Weight this week is unknown (only because I didn't weigh in last week)
Overall weight is -8.0 lbs in four weeks
Activity is +6.4 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5

"Excuse of the week" - None this week. I feel like I'm back on track after fighting through these back issues. They're still popping up a bit, but I'm learning when to take it easy to take a little pressure off of it.

"What am I going to do differently" - Still, nothing significant. I'm a bit disappointed that I'm only at -8.0 after four weeks (hoping to be at -10.0 this morning), but I realize that I'm in this for the long haul. Rapid weight loss sounds great and I know I could shed this faster, but I know for me it's not sustainable and that ultimately 2-3 pounds a week is something I can do consistently for quite a while... I do need to be better about ramping my activity though. Even with the back pain I'd hoped for better mileage this week. I'll be sure to improve that for next week.

[SRains918]

559 / 24

Weight this week is unknown. I had a couple of days off, including Monday (my normal weigh-in day) and slacked from the weigh-in.
Overall weight is unknown in three weeks
Activity is +6.2 miles this week vs a goal of +10.5

"Excuse of the week" - My back continued to harass me throughout the week, so even though I'm slightly below my activity increase goal (stepped up an extra half mile per day this week to +10.5 instead of +7) I'm pretty happy with the results. I finally went to see the Doc at the end of last week and have seen tremendous improvement over the last few days and that will help going forward. I'm right around +2.5 miles through two days this week, but still taking it easy when my back decides to be an asshole.

"What am I going to do differently" - Nothing significant. Even though I've fallen slightly below what I'd hoped for in terms of activity and didn't weigh in on Monday to track that progress, I have noticed one significant change - I can walk farther before I'm winded. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but considering where I'm starting I'm pretty happy with that progress. At some point in the near future I'm going to need to add a "pace" component to my goals, but I've been careful to avoid that so far simply because I have been doing 90% of my walking with the dog. She likes to chase smells and I'm happy to let her do it, so that has forced me to a slower pace than I'd like at times. I'll be too hot for her to go with me pretty soon, so I'll start timing myself at that point.

[walterwhite]

I enjoy reading your introduction section…

I too have these same fears of the unknown in quitting and my use of KTC.  You are not alone.  What I keep reminding myself is…One day at a time.  Who cares about tomorrow, next week or 2 years from now.  All that matters is today.  I’m still an addict and I can’t have just one…today. 

Keep on quitting…it keeps getting better.