10/5/17 @ 07:40
A few people have pointed out that I'd been "counting" wrong and shorting myself a day because I wasn't counting the first day I actually quit. I'm sure most people outside KTC don't give a rats ass, but to this 30+ year addict day 7 sounds a hell of a lot better than day 6 for some reason so I'm gonna take it!
Thank you to all that have reached out so far. I want to apologize for what I'm sure have been some incoherent rambling replies. I'm happy to exchange digits with anyone, and especially encourage those in my Jan18 Quit Group to hit me up if I miss you over the next few days. I'm doing my best to figure out the ins and outs of the site (while pretending to work), but have been having a tough time focusing on anything for too long as I know you've all been through (or are going through).
I'm going to document my journey through this intro feed at least every few days (probably more often in the beginning). I think being able to go back and look at what I've been through so far will help me when I have rough days down the road.
I'm going to post my roll call daily. No excuses. One thing that has been mentioned to me repeatedly is accountability, and I already see the benefits of that. Quit one habit, start a new one (roll call). That seems like a fair trade.
I'm going to send my digits to everyone in my quit group. More accountability. Quit as a group. Support each other. Talk each other down when necessary.
I'm going to keep reading as much as I can on here; Your stories and your journey. It helps so much to read something and realize the crap I'm dealing with is normal for the day range of my quit and that I'm not alone and that it is possible to beat this daily.
I'm open to any other suggestions or ideas or resources!!!
My Day 6 yesterday started out great! Mornings have been tough for me; that first dip always came almost as soon as I opened my eyes. Oddly enough, this has been the easiest one to avoid so far. As long as I don't buy a can of shit the day before, I don't have a can in the morning to be tempted by. Yesterday (and today) have been the first two days it really hasn't bothered me in the morning. I was more social at work yesterday. Pretty much everyone knows I've quit and they've been incredibly supportive. I'm able to keep to myself at work when I need to and that's really helped because I can just walk away and compose myself when the tension gets to be too much. For the most part yesterday was a good day until I went grocery shopping with my S/O, and then panic set in. Stupid things that set me off. Too many people. Not knowing what was on our list so I didn't know where to go. We started on the wrong side and didn't do the store in the right order. We went down aisles, moved on, and realized we needed other things down that aisle and had to go back. Stupid. Meaningless. Shit. Fortunately she was incredibly patient with me and helped ease me through it. By the time we got home I could feel the stress leaving my body and the rest of the night was fairly uneventful. I don't remember the fog from my first quit (well, I guess that was a one year "stop" and not a quit), but it's a bigger part of this quit so far than almost anything else. I can't focus. I'm easily distracted. I find myself staring off into space and wonder how long I've been doing that. Walking helps a lot. I'm normally desk bound, so I've tried to make myself get up and walk around to help clear my head a little.
Today is day 7. I am quit today, so tomorrow I can add a day to that number. Right now my first goal is 10. Baby steps.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!!
