I started posting in the roll call yesterday at day 21 so I guess I should get my introduction in. I have been on the site a few times through the years as a guest, but never signed up. I wanted to quit, but didn't want to go all in. I didn't really want the accountability. I hate letting people down and I guess I wasn't sure if I wanted to quit for good.
Most of my friends started dipping on the baseball diamond in our early teens, but I was always a catcher and had a face mask on so I couldn't spit like everyone else. I avoided it through high school.
I went on to college on academic scholarships and struggled my first year. I had never learned to study. I had to keep a certain GPA to keep my scholarships and was talking to a high school friend about it during winter break. He said he had started chewing to help him focus and I should try it. I tried and didn't like his red man, but I tried skoal wintergreen and it really helped me focus on my studies. So I was 19 when I started.
It progressed through the years. In the early days I would just dip when I needed to study all night. As college progressed I dipped more and more.
I graduated in 2009 and went to work at a small town bank. Most of the officers dip at the bank so I was right at home. I've been in a rotation for the past 9 years where I throw in a dip for a while, spit it out, drink a bottle of water, throw in a couple pieces of gum for a bit, and then rotate back to the dip. The only break I take from that rotation is when I go to the gym or when I sleep.
I quit for a whole year in 2014 when I got married. About a year after I quit, I was working on a project with a co-worker that dipped and started back. One dip always leads to another.
My first child is due in April and I decided a while back that I would stop before she was born. I kept putting it off, but for some reason on January 9th I decided that would be my last day. I have been struggling with the quit, but the site has helped a lot. I'm hoping now that I'm on the forums it will help more. Maybe by April when my daughter is born I can focus more on her than my addiction.
I appreciate any support.
Welcome Brother! Use that support! It's not easy and we are all in the Suck brother, Embrace it, burn that shitty feeling into your mind. The hell we go through to quit is unreal, I have been burning this feeling in my head, and I can tell you I never want to go through it again. I too have quit for over a year, and yes one leads to another.
Congrats on the Daughter! With two of my own, I wish I was quit before they were born, but my now 4 year old told me the other day, it was one of the worse days of the suck, she came up to me, grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye and said "Daddy you don't need the dip anymore?" I said "No Baby" She goes "Good Because I love you"
If you want digits send me a PM and they will be right in your box! Proud of you bud, One Day at a Time (ODAAT) Wake Up, Piss, Post Roll (WUPP) Take it Day by Day, Hour by Hour, Minute by Minute, Second by Second if you need to. Draw that line in the Sand, Get to it and draw the next, Never Quit (The Quit) Keep Moving forward, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!
Proud to be quit with you today!