I'm still quit.
Today is day 9.
Party this past weekend went off without a hitch.
Wound up that I really don't need the medications the doc prescribed.
After about the 5th day the irritability and aggression began to really taper off quickly and I'm no more irritable today than I was prior to my quit.
I was perfectly civil at the party and was even able to help out the way I would have if I'd not been going through this thing.
It seems that the "withdrawal" is over for the most part.
I'm still a little fuzzy in the head, stomach is still not totally settled, still chewing gum like crazy (though I had to find an all natural brand to chew because I was going through so much of it that the sorbitol in regular sugar-free gum was acting as a laxative), but the crazy intense constant craving coupled with absolute physical misery is past.
So yeah, my quit is still alive and well and getting stronger by the day.
It's really just that, and I'm sorry if this seems ungrateful after the help you guys offered me, I've just come to not really like this place very much.
I'm glad I grew up and decided to be a man and not let my wife and a little can control me
I bet/hope she bought him a bunch of life insurance!!!!
Starting to live up to your name.... all sooty, and dirty, and not worth much of anything????
That kind of insulting, demeaning, obnoxious stuff is literally ALL OVER this website and I don't like it at all.
I guess I understand that talking down to people helps you guys in some way to stay quit and if that's what it takes then I'm not going to buck that system because it allowed you to be here for me when I needed y'all most.
And I'm trying to figure out how I can, in turn, be here for the new guy coming in so that I can pay back that debt (what I see as a debt, anyhow).
But it's tough because, like I said, that kind of talk is so prevalent around here.
I'll get it figured out I'm sure.
But in the mean time, I'm proud to be quit with you guys today, even if I do want to wash your mouths out with soap.
Just trying to knock the addict speak out of you and try to impress upon you the importance of posting roll and making some friends to lean on. This place is a tremendously powerful tool to stay quit if you dive in and commit all the way.
I said nothing that I would be ashamed to say in front of my own mother, there bubba. Grow a little thicker skin..... the only thing any of us wants for you is to stay quit.
Glad to see that the irritability is subsiding a bit. You'll be fuzzy in the head for awhile....but sooner or later the fog will lift and you'll have clarity you haven't had in years (even better than when you were actively dipping).....likewise, craves will begin to taper off, but they'll still be there months, even years later (your addict brain never sleeps)....
Oh, and BTW, the KTC methodology is DAILY posting your promise. Not every three to five days. More than happy to offer my support to you every day, but only if I see your name on the roll EVERY DAY.
Soot, you got this, if you want it. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.
You are through the acute withdrawal. Welcome now to post acute withdrawal symptons (PAWs). See the link in my signature for details.
Keep in mind that, once you became an addict, you cannot un-become an addict. You have to learn to live with your addiction without using. Keep moving forward, don't ever go back.
Soot, I totally agree with you on the way people treat others here on the site. I would never hang around people in real life that acted like that. I have considered leaving this site many times in the last 78 days, but I'm still here and have posted roll every day 100%. I do agree with what the bullies are telling you about posting EDD; if you aren't willing to do that, then you will continue to receive the insults.
Some call it bully others call it getting a point across. Some people like me need it. I hated every cock sucker on this stupid friggin website. What a bunch of assholes! And then it clicked in side my head one day and I publicly thanked every one of them. They were keeping my dumb ass in check. Here I come asking for support from them and offer up excuses and stupid addict talk and they simply got tired of it. If not for them, I would not be here today.
So yes, call it what you want, but sooner or later you will understand. There is no pat on the ass that is going to help. How many heroin addicts you see get patted on the ass? None! My doctor went of case studies with me and we as dippers have a 10% chance of success without support. Care to guess a heroin addict? 50% without support. WOW! So yeah, sorry guys, no pats on the ass from me. And PLEASE do not ever pat me on the ass. If I need it, give it to me full bore! I'm a man, I can take it. Call me a dick head, a deuche bag, a what ever you want guys. If it helps you stay quit, I'm all in!
And now on with the show. We do not take weekends off here no matter what. No Christmas, not Thanksgiving, Not Easter, not ever. No weekend holidays or party weekends. We offer support 7 days a week not 5. When you dipped was it only 5 days a week and not on the weekends?
Anyhow, glad to hear you are still quit. Now head on over to your group and explain to your guys why it was cool that you take 2 days off within your first 5 days of posting on the site and they get no days off.
Hurt feelings are a good thing, it means you are getting engaged. So is anger. Not posting roll here... not a good thing.
If you want to quit, you are in the right place. The price of admittance here is posting roll every day. It is rule #1. If you don't like someone calling you out directly about it, thanks fine. I think every single person on this site started out thinking... post roll? Why is that so important? It is confusing and doesn't make sense and I keep messing it up.
It is all part of the program, dude. If you want to quit here, you follow rule #1. Don't fight the system. This really does work.
So you in or out? Hopefully you can put away your little hurt feelings for a bit and start posting roll or I can promise you guys will come after you. See here we consider ourselves a family a damn big family and I don't know about you but I don't personally get alone with everyone in my family but I still listen to the majority and take heed to advice. If you take time and read some former groups , you will see most of the ones that whined and bitched because someone stepped on there toes are no longer with us or posted another day one. My advice to you is take what you need and leave the rest but the best advice we will all give you is POST ROLL EARLY EVERY DAMN DAY or go on down the block and play!
My feelings aren't hurt.
There's a difference between having hurt feelings and thinking that a group of people are assholes.
I don't need to "find my safe place" or "grow a pair".
I choose not to associate with people I am unable to respect because their behavior is unacceptable to me.
I'm sorry I called you out for not following the only rule on this website.
I understand you not wanting to associate with me. Good luck.
Soot. You will find no two bigger supporters of those willing and wanting to quit than Pab and Workintown. They will be there when you are raging in anger from early withdraw and right beside you when you are posting roll from your Dad's bedside on the day he left this world. How would I know that. Because in the instances they were both there for me when I went through this. From Day 15 anger to day 250 sorrow on my journey these men and women have helped me realize that Nicotine makes none of it Better. Drink the kook aid and quit hard for you all day one day at a time. I will quit with anyone that posts roll and makes that promise.
Soot, I know I am one of them "Guys". And rightfully so. Because frankly speaking, I actually do give a shit about people I don't know. I don't want to see anyone else have to go through what trauma and many others on this site are going though. Nor do I want you to go through what 8 out of 9 of my family members that died in 10 months went through. From first hand experience watching loved one wither away to nothing and die a slow painful death, cancer really fucking sucks man. Not only for you but for your loved ones.
Sorry man. I don't do pats on the ass. They never work. Well, RARELY do they work.
I will gladly honor your request and give you practical advice that you asked for as far as getting your anger and emotions or what ever under control. Oh and I gave the same advice in your quit group in case you miss it there it is here.
Ok here goes, practical advice. Man, you seriously need medical help. You talk about KICKING a 4 year old kid in the pool. that alone is just....nuts. Then you mention tossing your wife in, as if this is her fault, and having a gun fight with the cops. Kick back for a moment and seriously think about that. You joined here in 2013 and didn't buy in to the system. You tried it your own way with NRT and that didn't work obviously. Then you come back here and STILL decide you don't buy in to the system. Then why come back? I'm really curious. So practical advice is still medical help. You BADLY need medication. I'm not sure what kind but you need, but something. I don't buy in to the whole Chantix crap but that is just me. I think it is junk. I had valium. It took the edge off. Some of us just need it man. Some takes longer to work than others. My doc went with valium since I already was prescribed it and it was fast acting unlike prozac or zoloft or welbutrin or something like that.
More practical advice. Give in to the system for just 1 day. That is all. Just one day. When you get so outraged you want to alienate everyone in your life and kick a 4 year old kid, call a bad ass quitter and talk it out. If you make it through that day, awesome. Then give us one more day. that is all. Just one more day. Post your roll, make a promise to YOURSELF, and give it a go. When shit gets rough, call a quit buddy or text or jump in live chat. Use the site and get through the day. We are NOT asking you to devote your entire life here. JUST one day at a time. You only have 24 hours the same as I have. So my self or any other quitter here has no more to work with than what you do. It's even stevens. Forget yesterday and lets not worry about tomorrow. We only have today. And the cycle works over and over. As long as it works, keep giving it just one more day.
On a side note, I can understand you calling us guys assholes. Hey I appreciate that! I mentioned before that I would rather you hate me for the rest of your life than to love and respect me until the day you die of cancer. I used to run a crew of 32 men and 1 woman and I used to be a royal ass to them. I never had an accident in 4.5 years as supervisor. I used to tell the crew I have never met your wife and I am not going to meet her for the first time at your funeral and I would rather them hate me for the rest of their life than to love me and respect me until the day they die of a stupid accident that was preventable, just like our cancer issue. I got fired due to reasons beyond my control and guess what, a soft supervisor let a guy try it his way and a guy got killed 2 weeks after I got fired. That is what sold me on the fact that being soft is not right.
BUT, consider this for a moment. YOU are the one who said you wanted to kick a 4 year old in the pool, throw your wife and the kids dad in as well and a grill and have a shoot out with cops. And we are the assholes? I'm really confused here.
Back to practical advice, get the meds and give it a shot. Just remember what ever you do, no one did this to you but your self. You have no right to treat anyone like crap because you feel like shit. I'm not telling you to man up. That is for you to decide. I'm not telling you to grow a sack. Hopefully by now, you got one. You have already heard it all so I'll save it.
So what ever you decide to do, I hope you understand exactly how many people are here that want nothing but to see you succeed and not die of cancer or related illnesses. There are over 25,000 of us here. They didn't come looking for you, you found them. The help is free, all you need to do is run with it.
Take care man and I wish you nothing but the best. I'll not bother you any more since I am such a bother. If you ever need anything, just give me a shout. I am always around.
Ray
