My Quit x 2

[BrianG]

Nice Job on hitting Day 100 Glock!!

Proud to quit with you!

[worktowin]

Congratulations on 100 days of wins stacked up in a nice neat row.

This place works - I'm glad you came back.

Celebrate today. You earned this!

[worktowin]

Today would be day 1,461 if I had stay quit when I first joined KTC.
But I didn't buy in to KTC and I really wanted the chew more than I wanted to quit.
I thought it would be just a little detour to take one dip. And I thought I didn't need KTC. I would be able to quit without KTC. I didn't quit after that dip for about two years, but I started using BRT. When I finally quit NRT I think there was maybe 6 months where I was NIC free. Then, one day I needed a dip. It was supposed to keep me awake. After all, it was a forty hour day and I had to make it to my flight. I'll use this one can and when I get to the airport I'll throw it away. It took me ten months to throw that can away. And then I decided to quit tobacco for good. I was sick of it and for once in my life I wanted to quit tobacco more than I wanted to shove it in my face. So I decided to just quit. On Christmas Day 2016. I started chewing NRT gum and used a patch. But I was sick of the idea of nicotine. I hate nicotine. I HATE nicotine. So I just decided to quit. January 1, 2017 - it had nothing to do with the date - I took the patch off and spit the gun out. Then I sulked. My way wasn't working. I knew I needed some help. Brethren to help me. So, knowing I would suffer abuse, I came back to KTC. I thought it had only been a couple of years. It had been four. I came back to KTC because my way wasn't working. And I pledged one day at a time. I quit today. And that one day at a time pledge has helped me more than most would realize. The KTC crew gets it, but my friends don't. They don't understand why I am posting roll. Or reading through KTC. Why? If I had stayed where I had been, today would've been 1461 days free. Instead, its Day 22 and I want to make it to 1461.

One day at a time Glock. Each day is a win and better than the past. Every one.

I'm honored to quit with you today.

[GlockTherapy]

Today would be day 1,461 if I had stay quit when I first joined KTC.
But I didn't buy in to KTC and I really wanted the chew more than I wanted to quit.
I thought it would be just a little detour to take one dip. And I thought I didn't need KTC. I would be able to quit without KTC. I didn't quit after that dip for about two years, but I started using BRT. When I finally quit NRT I think there was maybe 6 months where I was NIC free. Then, one day I needed a dip. It was supposed to keep me awake. After all, it was a forty hour day and I had to make it to my flight. I'll use this one can and when I get to the airport I'll throw it away. It took me ten months to throw that can away. And then I decided to quit tobacco for good. I was sick of it and for once in my life I wanted to quit tobacco more than I wanted to shove it in my face. So I decided to just quit. On Christmas Day 2016. I started chewing NRT gum and used a patch. But I was sick of the idea of nicotine. I hate nicotine. I HATE nicotine. So I just decided to quit. January 1, 2017 - it had nothing to do with the date - I took the patch off and spit the gun out. Then I sulked. My way wasn't working. I knew I needed some help. Brethren to help me. So, knowing I would suffer abuse, I came back to KTC. I thought it had only been a couple of years. It had been four. I came back to KTC because my way wasn't working. And I pledged one day at a time. I quit today. And that one day at a time pledge has helped me more than most would realize. The KTC crew gets it, but my friends don't. They don't understand why I am posting roll. Or reading through KTC. Why? If I had stayed where I had been, today would've been 1461 days free. Instead, its Day 22 and I want to make it to 1461.

[Atown]

Hang Tough Greg. Onward Thru the Fog. Im Anthony , in April with you Bro. Check your inbox for my digits. Life is too short for even one more chew.

[worktowin]

Vegas is a tough struggle this early on. Your word will keep you clean. Post early. Stay close to the site. One drink (or better none) is enough.

This quit is the most important thing in your life. Cherish it.

[GlockTherapy]

Next thing is that you are blaming your wife for your addiction. It isn't her fault. How about this mentality. She is going to have to accept that you have quit now! Don't give her an excuse to be pissed. I can tell you my wife was never critical of my quitting, that's for sure! Glad you are quit!

I had never thought about it before but you're right - in a way I am blaming my wife - in the sense that she wasn't supportive. So somehow I made that her fault rather than this whole mess being mine. I'm not saying it right but I'll figure it out and repost it.

[worktowin]

...Honestly I don't know if I can make it...


Dude... you can't allow this to be even a fleeting thought. If this is truly your mindset then you've already caved... it just hasn't happened yet... again. Over the years I've seen this frame of mind make someone's Quit a white knuckle ride the entire time. They never turn the corner on owning their Quit... loving their Quit.

That. Has. To. Happen!

You can't spend the rest of your life quitting every day. There really does have to come a point where you fucking own it and... you're Quit. It becomes who you are instead of something you're doing in white knuckle fashion, hoping you get through the next craving. At 1,359 days today... I laugh at craves. They're a joke.

Because I owned that decision.

Done for Me... by Me.

It may sound cocky for me to say some of that. That's ok... I don't really care... I worked and nurtured this Quit because I needed and wanted it more than anything... anything.

That's where you need to get to bro.

Own. It.

There are ways to win.

Post early
Post in other groups
Read a lot on the site
Stay on the site a lot reading, giving, getting support
Update your intro
Reach out to those that have offered assistance

And there are ways to lose.

you can do this, but as applejack said... you have got to own it.

[AppleJack]

...Honestly I don't know if I can make it...


Dude... you can't allow this to be even a fleeting thought. If this is truly your mindset then you've already caved... it just hasn't happened yet... again. Over the years I've seen this frame of mind make someone's Quit a white knuckle ride the entire time. They never turn the corner on owning their Quit... loving their Quit.

That. Has. To. Happen!

You can't spend the rest of your life quitting every day. There really does have to come a point where you fucking own it and... you're Quit. It becomes who you are instead of something you're doing in white knuckle fashion, hoping you get through the next craving. At 1,359 days today... I laugh at craves. They're a joke.

Because I owned that decision.

Done for Me... by Me.

It may sound cocky for me to say some of that. That's ok... I don't really care... I worked and nurtured this Quit because I needed and wanted it more than anything... anything.

That's where you need to get to bro.

Own. It.

[Thumblewort]

I hope some of the newer quitters will read this thread, it shows how you think you have your quit in hand, and then BANG, it's gone. I hope you quit this time Glock, and not just a stoppage. You had the support of some monster quitters back in 2013, and walked away from them.

[cbird65]

own it this time

[Doc2quit4good]

Glad to see you are back. My start was similar but I never posted roll. Nonetheless... A couple of things here I see. You have to drop the mentality that you aren't sure you'll make it. Next thing is that you are blaming your wife for your addiction. It isn't her fault. How about this mentality. She is going to have to accept that you have quit now! Don't give her an excuse to be pissed. I can tell you my wife was never critical of my quitting, that's for sure! Glad you are quit!

[worktowin]

Thought I'd post your answers here too:

See you've been here before (31 days in 2013) so you're probably familiar with the cave questions.

What happened?
Why did it happen?
What will you do differently this time to keep it from happening again?

What happened:
This is going back four years, but I remember my fail. Though I was truly struggling through the fog, and I had a 30 hour day, I decided that a chew would let me wake up and be ok. But it wasn't like I tripped and fell into the pool. It wasn't a slip up, a mistake, No, it was my choice. I dove into the pool. I just wanted to have the chew again. I found "my excuse" to chew but ultimately, I just wanted it more than I wanted to quit.

What will you do differently this time to keep it from happening again?
Honestly I don't know if I can make it. Here are some differences: 1)My wife is more willing to talk with me about what's going on. I don't have to hide the struggles I'm dealing with. She's willing to let me talk and not criticize me for the struggles. We both know it was my choice to chew. But lately she hasn't been criticizing me, and in fact she is more willing to listen. So that's helpful. 2) I intellectually agree with the fact that my way doesn't work. (Notice that I only intellectually agree - I don't own it in my heart) So I am submitting myself to KTC and the daily roll call as accountability. I hate accountability. So I will do that today.

3) I found something that is helpful for me to repeat (Today is day 2 of being NIC free, though I used NRT for eight days before this) "No thanks, I quit." I say that about ten times when I wake up, and then throughout the day.

[worktowin]

I signed up January 24, 2013 for KTC. And I made it a couple of weeks. Then I started chewing again. Then I chewed nicotine gum. Then I stopped the nicotine gum for about a year and four months. Then I made the excuse that just because I was tired and had to work a forty hour a day that I would chew "Just this once." And then I'd throw it away. That chew lasted from February 2016 till December 25th, 2016. I decided to quit chewing tobacco on the 26th of December but I thought I would chew nicotine gum and use a patch to make it easier for me. On January 1st of 2017 - not a new years resolution but just because I got sick of this nicotine crap - I spit out the gum and tore off the patch. I am so sick and tired of this nicotine and tobacco. But my way hasn't worked out. I've been lurking on the KTC web site a few times throughout the years saying more to myself, "I don't need these guys." But it really surprised me when I searched my original join email and found it had been four years since I had initially signed up.

Why did I quit and then start again? I loved chewing more than I love my integrity. In fact, admitting that to myself was one of the things I found relieving. I found it relieving to tell myself the truth that I wanted tobacco more than I wanted to quit.

So, here I sit, head in a nasty fog, body screaming at me and saying that for today, I will not use, take or buy and tobacco, nicotine or nicotine alternative.

Glock Therapy.

Welcome back.

Jan 24, 2013. One month to the day after I quit. I'm an April fogcutter, you are a Mayster. I'm posting day 1,473 today. You are posting day 2. You had the tools, and you know this place works. We post our promise each day and we keep our word. We help each other. But we are honest at all times and once we give our word not even water boarding would make us break it. One day at a time, brother, you cannot imagine the sense of freedom and peace that is in my life. Fuck the money saved, which is now nearly 10k... or the obvious health advantages... the freedom from lies and shame and guilt is beyond my ability to put into words. It is s freedom that is yours for the taking, but it requires hard word and integrity. You gotta want it.

I post with the Maysters daily. I invite you to do the same, along with your new group. We win as a team. We fail alone. You can do this.

[GlockTherapy]

I signed up January 24, 2013 for KTC. And I made it a couple of weeks. Then I started chewing again. Then I chewed nicotine gum. Then I stopped the nicotine gum for about a year and four months. Then I made the excuse that just because I was tired and had to work a forty hour a day that I would chew "Just this once." And then I'd throw it away. That chew lasted from February 2016 till December 25th, 2016. I decided to quit chewing tobacco on the 26th of December but I thought I would chew nicotine gum and use a patch to make it easier for me. On January 1st of 2017 - not a new years resolution but just because I got sick of this nicotine crap - I spit out the gum and tore off the patch. I am so sick and tired of this nicotine and tobacco. But my way hasn't worked out. I've been lurking on the KTC web site a few times throughout the years saying more to myself, "I don't need these guys." But it really surprised me when I searched my original join email and found it had been four years since I had initially signed up.

Why did I quit and then start again? I loved chewing more than I love my integrity. In fact, admitting that to myself was one of the things I found relieving. I found it relieving to tell myself the truth that I wanted tobacco more than I wanted to quit.

So, here I sit, head in a nasty fog, body screaming at me and saying that for today, I will not use, take or buy and tobacco, nicotine or nicotine alternative.

Glock Therapy.