It has been 46 days of being quit and it is time for me to put myself out there. Why would I wait so long to post my intro, one word, fear. It started out as being afraid of the unknown world of posting and conversing with strangers on the internet, what if all of you were just luring me in with promises of being quit from nicotine for good, only to catfish me into selling the stuff to my kids. Why would anyone really care if I was off this crap, there had to be a hook. Having just turned 40 I still feel like a dinosaur when it comes to the internetÂ…facebook, twitter, the idea of sharing my life with anyone outside of my immediate family seemed bizarre, I feel like the only one I know who doesnÂ’t use those sites (hell even my 93 yr old grandmother does).
So I lurked around in the background as a guest checking out all aspects of the KTC site I could access, looking for the scam, wanting to find it so I could talk myself out of quitting. The funny thing is the more I read the more this site just felt right, then I saw “ODAAT” at bottom of someone’s post (sorry wish I could remember the brother it was) I had to know what it stood for (Acronyms fascinate me) . Reading further I discovered it was One Day At A Time. This simple phase, changed everything for me. It made sense this was doable. For the first time in my life I felt a calm come over me and knew with the help of KTC I could tackle giving up my 22 year addiction to dip by changing my outlook on it…One Day At A Time…. For the first time in my life I really quit.
This was it. As a started posting roll, one day at a time, quietly I became invested in my and my June Platoon brothers quits, still not being brave enough to reach out to a stranger, I became fearful that if I caved I would let them down, so every time I drafted an introduction (yes I have about 6 versions of this), I talked myself out of posting it because it figured it best that nobody knew me, just in case I caved.
Problem is by not sharing and getting involved I know now I am setting myself up for failure. I want this quit, and to be honest I want everyone on this site to stay quit. I really donÂ’t know any of you but I feel we have all walked down similar paths. I have quietly watched WildIrish317, WalterWhite, Chewie, Suthern_gntlman, and other members inspire me with their quits and words on this site and there is no doubt that I have taken much more from this site than I have given. I have decided this has to change if I am really going to own this quit. One day at a time, I going to stay quit, post roll and conquer my fear of the unknownÂ…
Thanks for listening.