Matt....do this. don't give up. Most of us have chewed a long time and it gets harder and harder to quit--get's harder and harder to remember life before chew. Starting wasn't the dumbest thing I ever did (pretty close...) The dumbest thing I ever did was lying to myself (and anyone who'd listen) that I was "in control"....I wish someone had litterally kicked me in the balls when I first started chewing and said this will truly fuck up your life and you can't control it, and if you ever think you can your are living a lie.
You are in a fantastic situation to prevent years and years of grief.
When I first started chewing I actually thought I could take it or leave it...to a certain extent that was true. I'd chew while on some construction jobsite and then I'd go to work teaching/guiding in the outdoors for a few months--tobacco was not allowed at all at the school I worked for...I'd have to quit.....I'd be totally fine and forget all about chew. But here's the problem: I'd just start again as soon as I got back into "Civilization" (that's what we call places where you can buy extremely addictive poison at any c-store...). I did this seasonal thing for a while....I really liked the chew but it didn't totally rule my life YET...(like, I'd rather climb El Capitan than worry about a chew...). Eventually I was full time in ski patrol and construction, where chewing was possible and acceptable all the time by everyone. Before I realized it I was chewing a can a day and I was just another addict who couldn't even think straight without a chew in. That all happened pretty fast and pretty easy...Then when I thought I'd "just quit" I became crazy...I became a short tempered asshole (especially to people I loved). I did all the avoiding family, lying, hiding, endless lame and humiliating shit you never think you'll do. Somehow ten years pass and you're still chewing...life is what happens while your making other plans. Addiction happens while you are telling yourself you're in control.
This decision you have made is very wise and important. quit and don't look back. yeah, its hard--duh, look at all of us spending our time on this website instead of skiing powder, ridin sleds, hunting, fishing, chasing skirts, doing our homework, or whatever....the first 4 days I couldn't even spell my name and I probably ate a pound of seeds and Jakes mint chew... The whole environmental element--I mean all the bro's on your fire crew chewing...yeah, that's tough. But if you chew long enough you will think that about every single fucking thing you do anywhere anytime anyplace period. Read what people have to say about this....how many times have you read "if I was awake and not eating I had a chew in...." I used to say "I can't frame houses without a chew in..." and "I can't drive without a chew in"...every shower, every shave (that's because your hiding it from a chick) is a chance to chew...and so on until anything and everything becomes a reason, or "an excuse" for a chew. When I couldn't go out the door with a backpack full of explosives to start big avalanches and ski insane pow (ie: when I was doing really exciting, engaging, and cool shit) without a chew in....well then you know you just chew no matter what. and then it's way, way too late. But it's never too late to quit. .......... I've made a lot of bad choices in my life....done a lot of dumb things....about the only advice I think I'm qualified to give is: quit now and never, ever look back.
--NoMorePoison
