« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2014, 09:00:00 PM »
A few have asked for this so here it is. This is what I posted in the July 14 and April 10 groups yesterday.
First, I want to apologize to my April 2010 quit brothers and all the others who helped me through the journey. I let you all down.
Yes, I am back posting a day 1. Yes, I made it to the HOF. Yes, I wrote the speech as well. So, knowing how this place works I owe everyone an explanation as to why I am back at day 1.
The main reason I am back posting at day 1 again is because I am an addict plain and simple. I know it. When I quit nicotine I supplanted it with alcohol. Started using it more and more, I did recognize I was doing this and started posting about it well past the HOF. Started posting day 1 with no alcohol etc...while still clean with the nicotine.
Well, I caved with the alcohol shortly thereafter and within a few months did the same with the dreaded nicotine. I was using both and not feeling good about myself at all.
A common statement is what your plan is and what is going to be different this time. My plan is to not use fake, alcohol or anything else my addict mind wants to find to fill in for the nicotine. I need to learn to be clean and not use substitutes with the exception of exercise and this site.
I humbly come before this group and ask you to accept me again. Many here may remember me. This is where I amÂ…
Another prime example of why I have posted every day to 330 days and why I will post my promise til I die or this site is no more, whichever one comes first. Don't get me wrong I believe in the ODAAT, but this quit is for good. I have made my mind up, if post every day I will remain quit for life. If it worked for 100 days why the fuck stop?????????? It's like 2 minutes for Gods sake.
I see it all the time, "oh don't worrying about me, I am just too busy or it reminds me of my addiction or bla bla bla". Then iiiiiiiBAM!!!!!!! Day one post. Often these are folks I am close to and have gotten to know and care about.
I rant all this to say I hope when you get past your day 100, you not only continue to post but you post forever. Then more importantly you reach out and share this story with others you see drifting.
I'm with you steelers..i too caved...it wasn't booze for me but i did cave...and i came back and i'm on day 7. I made past the HOF and quit quitting...its tough...you're going to catch holy hell from some folk and you're going to catch a lot of support and you'll get somewhere in the middle...but you need to listen to erussell...as do i. We need to take heed and hold on for dear life...i can't help you on the drinking stuff, i'm sure there's guys here that can, but you know how this works...one day at a time my friend. Apply it to both. I quit with you
remember that the plan moving forward should be something that you not only have written down, but specific tasks that you will follow to ensure that you will not fall back again.
steps can include: contact at least 3 of the members of your group, maybe 3 or more others here on the site, print out and sign the contract to give up after you read it, telling a loved one that you are going back to poisoning yourself....
make it a good list. one that you will promise to follow (just like posting your word in here every day).
and remember, this time live your quit, this is a community, make your friends here and take them outside of the site. If you do that you will be better off for it.
Accountability + Brotherhood = Success
I hope that you stick with it this time. Posts like this remind me why I quit one day at a time and post roll daily so that I keep my commitment to quit.
Do or Do Not, There is No Try, period
Nicotine is poison.
I am an addict of nicotine.
I post roll everyday because I am an addict.
I keep my word today, because when I dipped I was a liar.
When my feet hit the floor in the a.m. I do it all over again.
ODAAT and NAFAR, period
I am quit. I will not dip today.
The men of KTC saved my life.
When I joined KTC 31 days ago, I thought the 100 day mark, HOF, was the finish line, the grand prize of my quit. Make it to 100 days, write a fancy, inspiring speech and muddle around the site a bit.
Man was I wrong! Early in our quits posting roll EDD and making contacts may seem a bit monotonous, boring and repetitive if you will. But it's absolutely the key for beating this bitch of an addiction.
I sit here 31 days quit and realize, I like posting roll EDD! I like reading what other people are going through in their quits! I like offering some help and encouragement to a brother or sister who's struggling. Just like we all brush our teeth in the morning, EDD for the rest of our lives. We need to post roll EDD for the rest of our lives. Otherwise who are we accountable to? We risk failure EDD that we spend away from this place. I quit w/you. Show July how to quit and be that rock for first time quitters.
Logged
Quitters I've met in person : Keddy, boelker62, Big Brother Jack, baitbanjo, SirDerek, Chewie, Scowick65, theo3wood, mcarmo44, MonsterEMT, Bronc, dforbes, rocketman, Lance from SD, kdip, wastepanel, quitspit, basshaug, greenspidy, 30yrAddict, btdogboy, cmark, chrisTKE1982, Jeffro Dolfie, Clampy, carlh2o, JGlav, ReWire, Chewrouski_Philly, Sranger999, walterwhite, DWEIRICK, spit cup, FranPro, ericfluck
