Figured Id brush off the dust on this thread.
Day 141.
Always thought this site would be a means to an end. An end to an addiction, an end to having to always be "quitting."
I thought that I would post my day 100 and be healed, cured, over dip entirely, and wouldnt think about it anymore.
Yet this morning I posted 141 and a few hours later I hit the gym and had a guy throw a fat lip in right in front of me and it took everything in me not to "bum one" off him. Good God it was hard, almost 5 long, grueling, tiring months of quitting I still have a weakness... How could this be?! I thought 100 was the day it was all over! WHAT A STUPID UN-THOUGHT THROUGH IDEA!
It sure as hell gets easier the longer I go but never expect the urge to disappear forever. Ive gone days without even thinking about dip, maybe even a week or so, but then someone throws a spitter in the garbage at my gym and I can smell the fumes and it hits you like a ton of bricks.... Then you realize.... This stuff doesnt let you go just because you hit 3.3 months (100 days) of not using it. This stuff wants you for life, this stuff wants to keep you locked in its jaws like a poor helpless animal in the mouth of a gator. AND IT WILL IF YOURE CONSTANTLY DRINKING BY THE WATER EXPECTING NOT TO GET SNATCHED!
You see, the water in this scenario is dip and situations you put yourself in that promote dipping. You put yourself in bad situations without accountability, you think you can have "just one more" because its been a long time and that gator (addiction to dip) is going to jump out and grab you by the throat and this time you may never escape with your life!
I have not ever thought that I could have just one more since starting this journey of quitting 141 days ago, however, no part of me ever thinks that I am immune to thinking that in a situation and because of that I make my promise today, tomorrow, and the next and know that when the situation that is inevitable happens I have a lifeline of guys to text, call, and message to pull me out before its too late and Im stuck back in the lies and trap of dip and nicotine.
You almost need to look at this situation as a life and death, stuck in the jaws of a beast that is only looking to destroy you because in all reality that is what this poison will do to you, your life, and your relationship with those you love as they see you put this poison in your body willingly.
Quit now and start the healing process before you wake up with cancer because you let the teeth of that gator sink too deeply into your throat!
that should have been part of my HOF speech but I was a bit rushed on it so I figured Id throw it on my intro!
