After reading wildirish’s post of the three questions, here are my answers. Tear them apart, tear me apart, I don’t really give a shit because I’m going to quit regardless. I’m putting it all out in these answers for a hope at being able to return to this system. I know I need it and I know I’m an addict.
1. I set myself up for failure by reasoning with myself and creating the one more dip mentality. I also didn’t take this commitment seriously (as I have a history of doing in the past). I set myself up for failure by not being a man of my word. Shitty as it sounds that’s the bottom line.
2. It happened because I didn’t go into it with a day by day mentality. I was already thinking days in advance, and wanted a quick release from the shittiness I was feeling from nicotine withdrawal. I knowingly went and bought a can of dip, and knowingly didn’t honor my word to be dip free for that day.
3. I’m going to keep it from happening again by actually honoring my word. Reading all the posts from today made me realize how much of a man I wasn’t. I lied to y’all and I lied to myself and I’m not doing that ever again.
While I have received crap from not reciprocating my phone number that is still something I will have to build on. The PMs, forums, roll, and my word are what I’m going to commit to. I will not dip again, but I am one paranoid individual and just throwing my personal cell out to a public forum in today’s society is not something I’m entirely ready to do yet. Even being on this forum alone and sharing my struggles is a huge step outside of my box. If that’s a deal-breaker then I’ll log out and never post on this site again. You guys won’t have to deal with me. But I’m still quitting regardless. Either through this site, or through other people in my life. I've learned a lot already from ktc, and I'm ready to own my quit.