Andrew your story is like so many others here. Fortunately for you, you have the chance to get a grip on this burden before 10, 20, or 30 years go by before you decide enough is enough.
I, like you, only used for about 5 years before I quit, but i, like you, have an addictive personality. Many of my buddies that used many years longer than me still chew on occasion and they can put it down for weeks or months on end before the next dip. For me, as soon as I spit one out, I was planning when I could get the next one in. My whole life revolved around when I could dip and look out if you were somebody interfering with that dip. It's scary how deep I was in before I decided I had enough.
I have posted roll every single day for the last 496 days. I have kept my promise each of those days. I have never looked more than one day into the future and that works for me. Around here, we call that one day at a time (ODAAT). ODAAT and I have earned my freedom. Freedom from those incessant thought of cancer, of continuing my addiction, of letting myself and my family down.
You can do this. Take it ODAAT and don't let yourself start thinking about forever. Just win today. Get to know your Feb 17 quitmates and hold them accountable. It will exponentially help you in your own quit and you'll be helping somebody else conquer this addiction.
The bottom line is YOU have to own this. If you need help, PM me your digits and I will help you get there. Trust the process and buy-in 100%. If you do that, you cannot and will not fail.
King - 496