Hi cvoll Welcome to the site!
You know, it never ceases to amaze me at the amount of people here who's words are the exact same as mine. It gives a whole new meaning to the term, You are not in this alone! Like you, I had a young boy and I came in my office room one day at home and here he was with a cigar tube in his mouth and a empty soda bottle with some spit in the bottom of it. He looked me dead square int eh face and with his little 6 year old logical thin king he told me, "When I grow up, I'm going to smoke a cigar just like you Ray". DOH!!!! Ok so now I understand the cigar tube but why the spitter? So I asked him about it. He said when he grew up he was going to spit tobacco just like Ray. Hmmm that was odd. I was a gutter, I never used a spitter. I am sure he picked the spitter up from his biological dad or something. I'm not real sure. His dad died when he was 4 years old.
Man talk about feeling like crap real fast! Like you I knew I had enough. I was done. The problem was this was in 2008. I didn't give up the cat shit until last year for the final time. What a douche bag I was! I however, never had any lumps, bumps or anything in my mouth to push me over the edge.
And I truly like how you used the word stopped. We use that here regularly. If you started again you were not quit, you were stopped.
Not sure if you know how our system works so I'll break it down a bit for you. Here, we understand that our addiction is an addiction. It is NOT a habit. The habit is everything that goes long with the addiction. We are always going to be addicts. Never again in our lives will we not be an addict. we can't undo what we have done. What we can do is work on staying clean on a day to day basis. is it forever? Yes. Are we asking you forever? No. You only have 24 hours today. The same exact thing that I have, 24 hours. Yesterday is gone so who gives a rats ass. Tomorrow is not here yet so I'll worry about that when it gets here. So please lets just worry about today.
On the subject of just for today, we post what we call Roll. We do this every day. We WUPP (Wake up, Piss, Post) in that order. This roll is your daily promise to your self that you will not use any nicotine today in any way shape or form. It also helps your brothers of quit to hold you accountable and you hold them accountable as well. Just for today. On the accountability side of things, you need to exchange phone numbers with your brothers of quit. I know, they are strangers. So what! The folks at the hospital cutting your jaw off are going to be strangers to if you keep it up doing it your way. Trade numbers! This is your quit network. When shit hits the fan, call or text for help. If you do like I have done many times and dash out the door after you r piss instead of posting, you can text your promise to a buddy and they will post on your behalf.
Sounds silly right? Some say it does. I thought so to at first until my way didn't work one day and I came back and posted yet another day 1. My way sucked plain and simple. Your way must suck to or you wouldn't be here. So work with it and give it time. It will grow on you quickly.
What are some things you can do to help your self? You can Exchange those numbers we discussed, you can read the HoF Speeches threads, read the hell out of words of wisdom! Read everything you can read! Got cravings? Chew the hell out of some seeds or gum (no nic!), pound the holy hell out of some water. Go for a walk or run. Call for help!
The biggest thing is just be a man about it. Getting bitchy might happen. If it does, please remember that no one did this to you but you. You are the only one you can be a dick to. You have no right to treat anyone like shit. Easier said than done I know. I had to get medicinal help. And maybe last but most definitely not the least, you can not under any circumstance, quit for ANYONE but you! You have to be the one that wants to be quit. Quitting for others just don't work and often leads to resentment and that is where the treating one like shit comes in to play. Remember, its not their fault.
So lets get you started on your way man.
here is a link to your quit group:
topic/11679548/184/Here is how to post roll:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmDgTPJ6HyMKeep in mind, you are coming in at the end of the month, You are a member of a VERY busy group. There is a lot of info flying around. Please use it like a smorgasbord. Take what you want and leave the rest for others. There are a lot of people in there waiting to help you. Also, notice up to the right a little bit is a link Live Chat use that if you have to. I can't get it to load right now, maybe maintenance today, but it is nice to use. I lived there my first 100 days of quit.
Take care man and I look forward to seeing you on the boards!
Ray - 309
