I'm wide awake. 3:31 am. Alone in the living room. Tears in my eyes. Postn roll. And not believing where I am today. I dipped for 35 freakn years !!! I gave up on beating this addiction. The shame and embarrassment, I had just given in to it. The loss of dignity and pride ?!?! Finally figured I'd be like my Dad and be a nic addict until they put my coffin clothes on me. Thank you Stacy Clark, Musicluva, for posting on FB that you were 5 years Quit and sharing KTC with me. If you look at my join date, it's around 2 years before my Quit date. Took this dumb ass that long to post a Day 1. Taking my mother in law home to South Dakota last summer, seeing her toes becoming black from lack of circulation, and her denying that smoking had anything to do with it, pushed me off my own denial cliff and got me to realize the truth. I was dying just like her. And that I wanted desperately to live.
Here I am. Now I stand on my own 2 feet a FREE MAN with so many Quit bother and sister friends that its just simply amazing. It's totally unreal. But it actually is real. Wow. Thank you to each and everyone of you that I've walked with on this journey. Simply too many now at this point to mention. I just simply don't have the words to describe what this day means to me. But as you all well know, I didn't get here on my own, I'm here in this place because of you. And like Doc says, it's a debt I can't repay. :-)
