Quit on Monday

[kstampfly]

Day 48:

County fair week and that is sure to mean a load of people chewing  and spitting and the site of cans in jeans at every turn.  Ninja dipped last year at fair even while talking to current and potential clients. 

Took a walk down cancer lane getting ready to transport items to the fair.  I went to clean out the back of my truck, moved my spare tire, and lo and behold, there lay an empty can of Timberwolf mint.  Paused for second, first time I had even looked at a can.  I had made sure to have every last spitter, can, and hiding spot cleaned and emptied when the quit began.  Too bad I forgot about the bed of my truck (Truck gets driven sporadically, not too good on gas for my occupation).  Ah yes, the sneaky nic bitch trying to claw back into my life during an opportune time.

Walked inside, asked my son (6) to come outside with me.  He has been wanting to learn how to shoot a gun for so long, I thought now could be a perfect teachable moment to do so.  I took the can, and using my air nailer, fastened it to the nearest tree.  I took my son outside and gave him the finer points on using his BB rifle, and let him have at it. 

I reminded him to always be able to look your obstacles and adversaries in the face, meet them head on, and shoot 'em straight.  That meant a helluva lot more to me than him when I said it.  I pray to God he never has to look this bitch in the face.  It was kind of like the Medusa moment when the heroes of old would turn to stone.  Turns out for her though, she was only looking at a reflection of me and I took her head off with one fell swoop.

R.I.P. Bitch!

Love it !!!!! found a great use for it.

Way to go Eric. Shoot em up!!!

[SirDerek]

Day 48:

County fair week and that is sure to mean a load of people chewing and spitting and the site of cans in jeans at every turn. Ninja dipped last year at fair even while talking to current and potential clients.

Took a walk down cancer lane getting ready to transport items to the fair. I went to clean out the back of my truck, moved my spare tire, and lo and behold, there lay an empty can of Timberwolf mint. Paused for second, first time I had even looked at a can. I had made sure to have every last spitter, can, and hiding spot cleaned and emptied when the quit began. Too bad I forgot about the bed of my truck (Truck gets driven sporadically, not too good on gas for my occupation). Ah yes, the sneaky nic bitch trying to claw back into my life during an opportune time.

Walked inside, asked my son (6) to come outside with me. He has been wanting to learn how to shoot a gun for so long, I thought now could be a perfect teachable moment to do so. I took the can, and using my air nailer, fastened it to the nearest tree. I took my son outside and gave him the finer points on using his BB rifle, and let him have at it.

I reminded him to always be able to look your obstacles and adversaries in the face, meet them head on, and shoot 'em straight. That meant a helluva lot more to me than him when I said it. I pray to God he never has to look this bitch in the face. It was kind of like the Medusa moment when the heroes of old would turn to stone. Turns out for her though, she was only looking at a reflection of me and I took her head off with one fell swoop.

R.I.P. Bitch!

Love it !!!!! found a great use for it.

[eric71]

Day 48:

County fair week and that is sure to mean a load of people chewing and spitting and the site of cans in jeans at every turn. Ninja dipped last year at fair even while talking to current and potential clients.

Took a walk down cancer lane getting ready to transport items to the fair. I went to clean out the back of my truck, moved my spare tire, and lo and behold, there lay an empty can of Timberwolf mint. Paused for second, first time I had even looked at a can. I had made sure to have every last spitter, can, and hiding spot cleaned and emptied when the quit began. Too bad I forgot about the bed of my truck (Truck gets driven sporadically, not too good on gas for my occupation). Ah yes, the sneaky nic bitch trying to claw back into my life during an opportune time.

Walked inside, asked my son (6) to come outside with me. He has been wanting to learn how to shoot a gun for so long, I thought now could be a perfect teachable moment to do so. I took the can, and using my air nailer, fastened it to the nearest tree. I took my son outside and gave him the finer points on using his BB rifle, and let him have at it.

I reminded him to always be able to look your obstacles and adversaries in the face, meet them head on, and shoot 'em straight. That meant a helluva lot more to me than him when I said it. I pray to God he never has to look this bitch in the face. It was kind of like the Medusa moment when the heroes of old would turn to stone. Turns out for her though, she was only looking at a reflection of me and I took her head off with one fell swoop.

R.I.P. Bitch!

[eric71]

Day 43:

Getting real sick and tired of taking a shift babysitting our quit group. Trying hard to understand how and why some need the constant reminder to stay quit. Was the suck not bad enough, were they not the complete asshole I was for the better part of two weeks, was the fog so light they would think of going back, does their word not carry enough weight even in their own heart to put forth the effort to live?

Just frustrated and want to see us all take control of putting our lives and loved ones ahead of addiction. I will be praying for all of us to continue to have the strength to see the task through every day, one at a time.

[Ready]

Posted this in a new quitter's intro page and just re-read it to myself.  I thought it should have a place in my journal as well to remind me of what I am compared to what I let myself become:

"My first two weeks were absolute hell. I couldn't sleep at night and would fall asleep driving while at work. Angry as a hornet and ready to pounce at the slightest thing. I've come to see that it is all part of the suck. I've seen it written that the harder the original suck, the stronger and more committed the quit. That's what we talk about when we say, "Embrace the suck" , really pull that fucker in, own it, relish in its pain and turmoil. Sadistic, yeah it is, but well worth it when you come out on the other side. I am enjoying life and am seeing my kids and family so much more because I spend no time hiding myself in a far away place with a fucking spit bottle and a pile of cancer in my lip. How fucking selfish and ridiculous was that? What person of high morals, ethics, and integrity would put an inanimate, poisonous carcinogen ahead of their own flesh, blood, and love?

When we look at it how it truly is, not through the rose colored lenses of addiction, we see how an addictive mind set can truly rob us of the lives we work so hard to obtain. I'm here to say, not here, not now, not me."

Eric,

When you look back at this, you better be saying you only let this happen once.  No one respects a man who cannot respect himself.  How does a man respect himself?  He keeps his fucking word, he honors his friends and family, he posts roll and he loves and lives his life with no regrets.  You, my friend, are that man, prove it to yourself everyday.

I just read it over there and again here! Well said!

'clap' 'clap'

Your quality of life will improve drastically for sure.

Welcome to your Freedom. Keep fighting for it. It is well worth it and the fight gets easier with time.

Damn proud of you.

[Greg5280]

Posted this in a new quitter's intro page and just re-read it to myself. I thought it should have a place in my journal as well to remind me of what I am compared to what I let myself become:

"My first two weeks were absolute hell. I couldn't sleep at night and would fall asleep driving while at work. Angry as a hornet and ready to pounce at the slightest thing. I've come to see that it is all part of the suck. I've seen it written that the harder the original suck, the stronger and more committed the quit. That's what we talk about when we say, "Embrace the suck" , really pull that fucker in, own it, relish in its pain and turmoil. Sadistic, yeah it is, but well worth it when you come out on the other side. I am enjoying life and am seeing my kids and family so much more because I spend no time hiding myself in a far away place with a fucking spit bottle and a pile of cancer in my lip. How fucking selfish and ridiculous was that? What person of high morals, ethics, and integrity would put an inanimate, poisonous carcinogen ahead of their own flesh, blood, and love?

When we look at it how it truly is, not through the rose colored lenses of addiction, we see how an addictive mind set can truly rob us of the lives we work so hard to obtain. I'm here to say, not here, not now, not me."

Eric,

When you look back at this, you better be saying you only let this happen once. No one respects a man who cannot respect himself. How does a man respect himself? He keeps his fucking word, he honors his friends and family, he posts roll and he loves and lives his life with no regrets. You, my friend, are that man, prove it to yourself everyday.

I just read it over there and again here! Well said!

'clap' 'clap'

[eric71]

Posted this in a new quitter's intro page and just re-read it to myself. I thought it should have a place in my journal as well to remind me of what I am compared to what I let myself become:

"My first two weeks were absolute hell. I couldn't sleep at night and would fall asleep driving while at work. Angry as a hornet and ready to pounce at the slightest thing. I've come to see that it is all part of the suck. I've seen it written that the harder the original suck, the stronger and more committed the quit. That's what we talk about when we say, "Embrace the suck" , really pull that fucker in, own it, relish in its pain and turmoil. Sadistic, yeah it is, but well worth it when you come out on the other side. I am enjoying life and am seeing my kids and family so much more because I spend no time hiding myself in a far away place with a fucking spit bottle and a pile of cancer in my lip. How fucking selfish and ridiculous was that? What person of high morals, ethics, and integrity would put an inanimate, poisonous carcinogen ahead of their own flesh, blood, and love?

When we look at it how it truly is, not through the rose colored lenses of addiction, we see how an addictive mind set can truly rob us of the lives we work so hard to obtain. I'm here to say, not here, not now, not me."

Eric,

When you look back at this, you better be saying you only let this happen once. No one respects a man who cannot respect himself. How does a man respect himself? He keeps his fucking word, he honors his friends and family, he posts roll and he loves and lives his life with no regrets. You, my friend, are that man, prove it to yourself everyday.

[Grizzly25]

Day 39 and this week has been a fucking roller coaster for sure. All the while, with all that's come and gone this week, one thing still sticks in my head. Don't know whose quote this is but I saw it and it speaks volumes:

"Life is a trigger" Simple and deep at the same time. Hit me this week and has actually motivated me to become even more active on the site and in my quit. I am feeling my energy levels return and the good days out number the bad. Getting so much more work done than when I was chained to addiction.

Feed off the energy and empowerment that an active quit gives you and live life with no regrets.

Zac Brown Band,

"I hope they say I was a man who lived and never compromised, and when I live out my days, until the very end, I hope they find me in home, with my guitar in my hand"

Weekend rolling in, tomorrow will be my 40 days out in the desert, no longer feeling like I'm lost forever, the first trial is over and I've come out victorious.

QLAFM

Great post brother!

Quitting is such a roller coaster and the ride is wild but i will confirm the freedom is very much worth the struggle!

[eric71]

Day 39 and this week has been a fucking roller coaster for sure. All the while, with all that's come and gone this week, one thing still sticks in my head. Don't know whose quote this is but I saw it and it speaks volumes:

"Life is a trigger" Simple and deep at the same time. Hit me this week and has actually motivated me to become even more active on the site and in my quit. I am feeling my energy levels return and the good days out number the bad. Getting so much more work done than when I was chained to addiction.

Feed off the energy and empowerment that an active quit gives you and live life with no regrets.

Zac Brown Band,

"I hope they say I was a man who lived and never compromised, and when I live out my days, until the very end, I hope they find me in home, with my guitar in my hand"

Weekend rolling in, tomorrow will be my 40 days out in the desert, no longer feeling like I'm lost forever, the first trial is over and I've come out victorious.

QLAFM

[dr_jones_25]

So today I get the call. From the doctor's office that is.

"We need to schedule you for an appointment with Dr. $%*^. The earliest day we can get you in to see her will be on Monday, September 10th, that is her surgery day."

"But I just needed to follow up with her regarding my ultrasound test"

"Yes well, the doctor said she will have to take a biopsy and she'll explain why when you arrive that day. Is morning or afternoon a better time for you?"

This is NOT some made up shit fellas! This is my fucking life, right here, right now! Just got off the horn with the receptionist and that is the dialogue still playing through my head. Don't know what or how to think, still processing I guess. Fuck it, if it was serious they'd get me in sooner right? Other side of my brain says, if it's not serious, why the fucking biopsy?

In all honesty, I have not been this worked up in my life for a helluva long time. The fact is, when I do not have control over a situation, I get anxious. And right now, I'm anxious as hell. Gonna be doing some serious extra praying from now till then and hope the Good Lord eases my concerns.

Take what you will from this and I know you've all heard plenty worse and read about the tragedies of addictions; just reach out to someone you know who is addicted and tell them how you feel, what thoughts cross your mind now that you are quit and free, and how lucky we all are to live a full life; not a life full of regret.

Peace

Man.. several months ago my oral surgeon wanted to do a biopsy on some shit growing in my mouth too.. I told her I'd wait for a week or two and s=coem back if it didnt go away? It went away.. I have been a fortunate bastard.. they've all gone away and I've had many questionable lesions  places.. we are pretty tough.. our mouths are used to a lot of abuse! If it is sore and bothering you.. get it checked out.. Mine was nothing - Only sharing my experience - do what you want? Gooch

Hope all is well bro!! I will be praying for you. PM me, let's get some text's going!!

[mikegooch]

So today I get the call. From the doctor's office that is.

"We need to schedule you for an appointment with Dr. $%*^. The earliest day we can get you in to see her will be on Monday, September 10th, that is her surgery day."

"But I just needed to follow up with her regarding my ultrasound test"

"Yes well, the doctor said she will have to take a biopsy and she'll explain why when you arrive that day. Is morning or afternoon a better time for you?"

This is NOT some made up shit fellas! This is my fucking life, right here, right now! Just got off the horn with the receptionist and that is the dialogue still playing through my head. Don't know what or how to think, still processing I guess. Fuck it, if it was serious they'd get me in sooner right? Other side of my brain says, if it's not serious, why the fucking biopsy?

In all honesty, I have not been this worked up in my life for a helluva long time. The fact is, when I do not have control over a situation, I get anxious. And right now, I'm anxious as hell. Gonna be doing some serious extra praying from now till then and hope the Good Lord eases my concerns.

Take what you will from this and I know you've all heard plenty worse and read about the tragedies of addictions; just reach out to someone you know who is addicted and tell them how you feel, what thoughts cross your mind now that you are quit and free, and how lucky we all are to live a full life; not a life full of regret.

Peace

Man.. several months ago my oral surgeon wanted to do a biopsy on some shit growing in my mouth too.. I told her I'd wait for a week or two and come back if it didnt go away? It went away.. I have been a fortunate bastard.. they've all gone away and I've had many questionable lesions  places.. we are pretty tough.. our mouths are used to a lot of abuse! If it is sore and bothering you.. get it checked out.. Mine was nothing - Only sharing my experience - do what you want? Gooch

[Wt57]

So today I get the call. From the doctor's office that is.

"We need to schedule you for an appointment with Dr. $%*^. The earliest day we can get you in to see her will be on Monday, September 10th, that is her surgery day."

"But I just needed to follow up with her regarding my ultrasound test"

"Yes well, the doctor said she will have to take a biopsy and she'll explain why when you arrive that day. Is morning or afternoon a better time for you?"

This is NOT some made up shit fellas! This is my fucking life, right here, right now! Just got off the horn with the receptionist and that is the dialogue still playing through my head. Don't know what or how to think, still processing I guess. Fuck it, if it was serious they'd get me in sooner right? Other side of my brain says, if it's not serious, why the fucking biopsy?

In all honesty, I have not been this worked up in my life for a helluva long time. The fact is, when I do not have control over a situation, I get anxious. And right now, I'm anxious as hell. Gonna be doing some serious extra praying from now till then and hope the Good Lord eases my concerns.

Take what you will from this and I know you've all heard plenty worse and read about the tragedies of addictions; just reach out to someone you know who is addicted and tell them how you feel, what thoughts cross your mind now that you are quit and free, and how lucky we all are to live a full life; not a life full of regret.

Peace

i'd be calling them back and demand answers!

Agreed. You need to know what is up.

Call them back and tell them you need to speak to the doctor and ask why a biopsy is necessary.

You definetly need some answers brother and when you call get the answers before you get off the phone!

Hey Brother. I am with everyone else on this one, you definitely need answers. If they can't give it to you I would find a different doctor that can help. That is bullshit that the only day the doctor can see you is on September 10th which is over a whole goddamn month! Give em' Hell!!

If it was me I would give them a full fledge nic rage and then after you get some answers say FU and find a Dr. Not some no give a shit bitch!!
I just got a appointment with a otolaryngologist for a endoscope inconsiderate bastards send me 20 page instuctions and questions. 6 of the pages keep stressing that if I'm a no show or late I'll be billed anyway because the fucking Dr is busy and his time is valuable. Like mine isn't! I'll bet money I get to the office and the SOB's make me wait 45 min!! Think I'll send them a bill for my time!! Glad to vent with you Eric!!! Demand the answers!!!

[Wt57]

Dr

[kstampfly]

So today I get the call. From the doctor's office that is.

"We need to schedule you for an appointment with Dr. $%*^. The earliest day we can get you in to see her will be on Monday, September 10th, that is her surgery day."

"But I just needed to follow up with her regarding my ultrasound test"

"Yes well, the doctor said she will have to take a biopsy and she'll explain why when you arrive that day. Is morning or afternoon a better time for you?"

This is NOT some made up shit fellas! This is my fucking life, right here, right now! Just got off the horn with the receptionist and that is the dialogue still playing through my head. Don't know what or how to think, still processing I guess. Fuck it, if it was serious they'd get me in sooner right? Other side of my brain says, if it's not serious, why the fucking biopsy?

In all honesty, I have not been this worked up in my life for a helluva long time. The fact is, when I do not have control over a situation, I get anxious. And right now, I'm anxious as hell. Gonna be doing some serious extra praying from now till then and hope the Good Lord eases my concerns.

Take what you will from this and I know you've all heard plenty worse and read about the tragedies of addictions; just reach out to someone you know who is addicted and tell them how you feel, what thoughts cross your mind now that you are quit and free, and how lucky we all are to live a full life; not a life full of regret.

Peace

i'd be calling them back and demand answers!

Agreed. You need to know what is up.

Call them back and tell them you need to speak to the doctor and ask why a biopsy is necessary.

You definetly need some answers brother and when you call get the answers before you get off the phone!

Hey Brother. I am with everyone else on this one, you definitely need answers. If they can't give it to you I would find a different doctor that can help. That is bullshit that the only day the doctor can see you is on September 10th which is over a whole goddamn month! Give em' Hell!!

[Grizzly25]

So today I get the call. From the doctor's office that is.

"We need to schedule you for an appointment with Dr. $%*^. The earliest day we can get you in to see her will be on Monday, September 10th, that is her surgery day."

"But I just needed to follow up with her regarding my ultrasound test"

"Yes well, the doctor said she will have to take a biopsy and she'll explain why when you arrive that day. Is morning or afternoon a better time for you?"

This is NOT some made up shit fellas! This is my fucking life, right here, right now! Just got off the horn with the receptionist and that is the dialogue still playing through my head. Don't know what or how to think, still processing I guess. Fuck it, if it was serious they'd get me in sooner right? Other side of my brain says, if it's not serious, why the fucking biopsy?

In all honesty, I have not been this worked up in my life for a helluva long time. The fact is, when I do not have control over a situation, I get anxious. And right now, I'm anxious as hell. Gonna be doing some serious extra praying from now till then and hope the Good Lord eases my concerns.

Take what you will from this and I know you've all heard plenty worse and read about the tragedies of addictions; just reach out to someone you know who is addicted and tell them how you feel, what thoughts cross your mind now that you are quit and free, and how lucky we all are to live a full life; not a life full of regret.

Peace

i'd be calling them back and demand answers!

Agreed. You need to know what is up.

Call them back and tell them you need to speak to the doctor and ask why a biopsy is necessary.

You definetly need some answers brother and when you call get the answers before you get off the phone!