Quit on Monday

[kana]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage.  I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip.  Did I want to give up on my marriage?  Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. 

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak.  That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish.  That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of.  That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me.  That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness. 

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit.  There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't.  There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't.  There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is.  There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do.  There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.  There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone. 

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer.  The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses.  We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves,  look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life.  Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life.  I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco.  I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life.  I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site.  I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall.  I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down.  That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

Eric,

Very lucky that I stumble on this masterpiece. Well said and damn I feel like you do.

KTC take the time to read this.........

Now this is the kind of shit I love seeing in the morning! It just makes my day to read about someone applying the quit lessons learned to their life. Everything uttered above me is 100% truth. I'm with you guys, being quit has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

Quit Like (A) Fuck (ing) (Madman)

Thanks for taking the time Eric, proud to be quit with you.

I would say again that someone here has wrote what alot of us think!!! 'clap' 'clap'

Proud to be quit with you and stay strong brother remember if it was easy it wouldnt be worth having!

Thanks for sharing that Eric. I alway's enjoy your posts...You have come a long way, and I'm effin proud of you...

[Grizzly25]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage.  I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip.  Did I want to give up on my marriage?  Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. 

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak.  That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish.  That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of.  That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me.  That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness. 

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit.  There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't.  There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't.  There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is.  There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do.  There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.  There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone. 

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer.  The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses.  We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves,  look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life.  Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life.  I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco.  I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life.  I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site.  I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall.  I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down.  That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

Eric,

Very lucky that I stumble on this masterpiece. Well said and damn I feel like you do.

KTC take the time to read this.........

Now this is the kind of shit I love seeing in the morning! It just makes my day to read about someone applying the quit lessons learned to their life. Everything uttered above me is 100% truth. I'm with you guys, being quit has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

Quit Like (A) Fuck (ing) (Madman)

Thanks for taking the time Eric, proud to be quit with you.

I would say again that someone here has wrote what alot of us think!!! 'clap' 'clap'

Proud to be quit with you and stay strong brother remember if it was easy it wouldnt be worth having!

[TSNUS]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage.  I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip.  Did I want to give up on my marriage?  Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. 

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak.  That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish.  That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of.  That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me.  That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness. 

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit.  There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't.  There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't.  There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is.  There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do.  There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.  There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone. 

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer.  The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses.  We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves,  look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life.  Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life.  I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco.  I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life.  I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site.  I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall.  I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down.  That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

Eric,

Very lucky that I stumble on this masterpiece. Well said and damn I feel like you do.

KTC take the time to read this.........

Now this is the kind of shit I love seeing in the morning! It just makes my day to read about someone applying the quit lessons learned to their life. Everything uttered above me is 100% truth. I'm with you guys, being quit has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

Quit Like (A) Fuck (ing) (Madman)

Thanks for taking the time Eric, proud to be quit with you.

[Coach Steve]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage.  I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip.  Did I want to give up on my marriage?  Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. 

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak.  That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish.  That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of.  That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me.  That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness. 

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit.  There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't.  There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't.  There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is.  There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do.  There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.  There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone. 

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer.  The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses.  We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves,  look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life.  Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life.  I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco.  I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life.  I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site.  I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall.  I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down.  That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

Eric,

Very lucky that I stumble on this masterpiece. Well said and damn I feel like you do.

KTC take the time to read this.........

Now this is the kind of shit I love seeing in the morning! It just makes my day to read about someone applying the quit lessons learned to their life. Everything uttered above me is 100% truth. I'm with you guys, being quit has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

Quit Like (A) Fuck (ing) (Madman)

[Gunner75]

Thanks for posting Eric! Something for everyone to read and learn from.

[Mthomas3824]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage.  I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip.  Did I want to give up on my marriage?  Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. 

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak.  That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish.  That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of.  That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me.  That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness. 

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit.  There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't.  There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't.  There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is.  There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do.  There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.  There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone. 

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer.  The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses.  We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves,  look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life.  Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life.  I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco.  I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life.  I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site.  I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall.  I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down.  That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

Eric,

Very lucky that I stumble on this masterpiece. Well said and damn I feel like you do.

KTC take the time to read this.........

[jaginvest]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage. I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip. Did I want to give up on my marriage? Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another? If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them.

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak. That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish. That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of. That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me. That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness.

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit. There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't. There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't. There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is. There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do. There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there. There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone.

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer. The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses. We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves, look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life. Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life. I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco. I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life. I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site. I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall. I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down. That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

That is what I call MADMAN Quittin' right there. Everyone needs some space every once in a while to put things in perspective. We are all about accountability, and you have remained 100%. Even through the rough times you have been facing.

When we start on KTC, it is ALL about the quit. But now, it's about so much more. The lessons learned here are bigger than the quit. They are life lessons, not just quit lessons. They are applicable in all aspects of our lives. We ARE put on this earth to experience relationship. Plain and simple. You, my brother, have figured that out. Keep her close, and let her hold you accountable just like we do. You will come through this a better man.

Proud to be quit with you today and any day...QLAFM

[eric71]

Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage. I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip. Did I want to give up on my marriage? Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another? If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them.

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak. That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish. That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of. That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me. That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness.

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit. There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't. There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't. There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is. There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do. There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there. There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone.

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer. The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses. We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves, look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

You see, being quit has made me realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life. Having tools to use to keep me quit has bled over into other phases of my life. I was not meant to travel upon this site and just be quit from tobacco. I was meant to incorporate the skills I have learned by staying quit into a process of remodeling my life. I am in an evolution of myself thanks to this site. I am becoming a better husband, a better father, a better model of behavior in my church and community, and a better person overall. I am showing that it is acceptable to be strong and soft at the same time, to be firm but gentle, and to be loving.

I am loving what I am becoming and know that the day I give in to one of my addictions will be the day that I let my wife, family, friends, and this community down. That day, with the help of you all and the Good Lord, will not come.

Thanks for reading,
Eric

[eric71]

And we shall not conform to our addiction.

One fucking day at a time. Shit, my grandma's good for one day and she's 91. Finally got her to hop off the nic train she's been riding since she was 16. Like I said, if she can do it at her age, you all have no fucking excuse.

Use that for inspiration to keep your asses quit. If you can't measure up to her, you are no one I would trust in a foxhole.

Ego in check, quit in check, life in check.

QLAFM every flippin' day

[TSNUS]

Eric, read your entire intro and wanted to say thanks for sharing. Like most us you started at the lowest of lows, but from the bottom the only way to look is up. Your journey is a model example of using your quit to become a better man in spite of circumstances out of your control. I am relieved for you and your family with the news about your cyst. God is good! I'm glad to be quit with you today. Peace.

[kstampfly]

Day 85:

I feel like I missed a helluva lot yesterday in our group. Too late to go back in and try to help or fix what got broken. A 100% poster caved, fucking gave it up, went back to his old ways. I wasn't there for him, and it fucking hurts a little bit. I remember having a chat with Sir D just about 2 weeks ago and remarking on how impressive this guy's run was and how he kept a tally of how much cash he'd saved. He did this on a daily basis. This guy wasn't much of a communicator to the group and had grown tired of the litany of roll posts in our group thread. To him, the thread must have been his sounding board. I did not have his number, gave him mine and offered my help if he ever needed it. He said he was never much the type to talk about shit with relative strangers.

Is that what we are October? Are we strangers to each other? Do we really have our brothers' backs when the shit hits the fan? Can I rely on any of you if I get in a bind?

These are rhetorical questions for me. I know for a fact that I can count on some of you in our group and I hope the feeling is likewise. For those of you, any of you, but especially those of you in Oct12, who do not feel like you can count on someone in those dire times I have one simple message for you.

You need to get numbers right now and call these people. I mean fucking call them, talk to them. Don't fucking text them, that shit is paltry compared to real human interaction. What would a suicide helpline be if all you had to do was text, "Don't do it, you'll regret it"? Pretty fucking lame attempt but I guess it would remove the guilt right? At least you tried right?

So, what I'm saying is this I guess. We all talk of honor and support and I know it's there, you who read this know it's there, but a shit ton of us in here are missing that train. Quitting is a matter of life or death, let's treat it like one everyday and not let this kind of shit go on without a true attempt at help.

Does this mean the failed quitter had no skin in the game? Absolutely not, and I am downright ashamed of the fact he fell off the way he did. If I am ashamed of it, I can only imagine how he feels. I will not, however, grant him any leeway. I don't care the circumstances of his failure, only the fact that he failed.

Here is what we need to understand. Life is fucking hard people. Shit will happen, losses will occur, jobs will be lost, family will fall ill, stress will be overcoming at times. It is how we react in those times though that truly define the person we are. This is where our honor, integrity, faith, and moral fiber come in to save us from ourselves. This is where building that system of support can carry us through. This is the reason I am still quit and typing this diatribe.

When you post roll, mean it. When you offer your contact info, mean it. When you accept someone's number, use it. I am as guarded as the next person and I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see. What you will see from me is a fight to the death if the nic bitch comes calling, bitch better hope she's got nukes because I will not surrender. I will call every fucking one of you to help me get through it and I expect nothing less from any of you.

I am quit and failure is never an option.

I look at it this way Eric, there is no reason for you to feel guilty over this. The guy caved and it was his own fault for not reaching out to someone. Hell we shouldn't have to be accountable for someone elses actions, they are grown ass men!

Some people like to do this journey on their own and from the looks of it he did it for awhile. There is a point when you hit a wall and you need a little extra help from a few people to get you back on track. Thats what this site is for but if you are not capable of working with a few strangers then its only a matter of time before a cave happens.

As far as support I got your back brother and I don't have any problems exchanging numbers with you. There are always going to be forks in the road that separate the path to freedom and the road to dipville. We need to keep our quit strong and continue on this path to freedom without ever looking back. If you need anything I'm a phone call away brother. Stay strong, stay quit.

Kstamp

[SirDerek]

Day 85:

I feel like I missed a helluva lot yesterday in our group. Too late to go back in and try to help or fix what got broken. A 100% poster caved, fucking gave it up, went back to his old ways. I wasn't there for him, and it fucking hurts a little bit. I remember having a chat with Sir D just about 2 weeks ago and remarking on how impressive this guy's run was and how he kept a tally of how much cash he'd saved. He did this on a daily basis. This guy wasn't much of a communicator to the group and had grown tired of the litany of roll posts in our group thread. To him, the thread must have been his sounding board. I did not have his number, gave him mine and offered my help if he ever needed it. He said he was never much the type to talk about shit with relative strangers.

Is that what we are October? Are we strangers to each other? Do we really have our brothers' backs when the shit hits the fan? Can I rely on any of you if I get in a bind?

These are rhetorical questions for me. I know for a fact that I can count on some of you in our group and I hope the feeling is likewise. For those of you, any of you, but especially those of you in Oct12, who do not feel like you can count on someone in those dire times I have one simple message for you.

You need to get numbers right now and call these people. I mean fucking call them, talk to them. Don't fucking text them, that shit is paltry compared to real human interaction. What would a suicide helpline be if all you had to do was text, "Don't do it, you'll regret it"? Pretty fucking lame attempt but I guess it would remove the guilt right? At least you tried right?

So, what I'm saying is this I guess. We all talk of honor and support and I know it's there, you who read this know it's there, but a shit ton of us in here are missing that train. Quitting is a matter of life or death, let's treat it like one everyday and not let this kind of shit go on without a true attempt at help.

Does this mean the failed quitter had no skin in the game? Absolutely not, and I am downright ashamed of the fact he fell off the way he did. If I am ashamed of it, I can only imagine how he feels. I will not, however, grant him any leeway. I don't care the circumstances of his failure, only the fact that he failed.

Here is what we need to understand. Life is fucking hard people. Shit will happen, losses will occur, jobs will be lost, family will fall ill, stress will be overcoming at times. It is how we react in those times though that truly define the person we are. This is where our honor, integrity, faith, and moral fiber come in to save us from ourselves. This is where building that system of support can carry us through. This is the reason I am still quit and typing this diatribe.

When you post roll, mean it. When you offer your contact info, mean it. When you accept someone's number, use it. I am as guarded as the next person and I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see. What you will see from me is a fight to the death if the nic bitch comes calling, bitch better hope she's got nukes because I will not surrender. I will call every fucking one of you to help me get through it and I expect nothing less from any of you.

I am quit and failure is never an option.

Well stated my brother, and you can count on me to be there for you.

[eric71]

Day 85:

I feel like I missed a helluva lot yesterday in our group. Too late to go back in and try to help or fix what got broken. A 100% poster caved, fucking gave it up, went back to his old ways. I wasn't there for him, and it fucking hurts a little bit. I remember having a chat with Sir D just about 2 weeks ago and remarking on how impressive this guy's run was and how he kept a tally of how much cash he'd saved. He did this on a daily basis. This guy wasn't much of a communicator to the group and had grown tired of the litany of roll posts in our group thread. To him, the thread must have been his sounding board. I did not have his number, gave him mine and offered my help if he ever needed it. He said he was never much the type to talk about shit with relative strangers.

Is that what we are October? Are we strangers to each other? Do we really have our brothers' backs when the shit hits the fan? Can I rely on any of you if I get in a bind?

These are rhetorical questions for me. I know for a fact that I can count on some of you in our group and I hope the feeling is likewise. For those of you, any of you, but especially those of you in Oct12, who do not feel like you can count on someone in those dire times I have one simple message for you.

You need to get numbers right now and call these people. I mean fucking call them, talk to them. Don't fucking text them, that shit is paltry compared to real human interaction. What would a suicide helpline be if all you had to do was text, "Don't do it, you'll regret it"? Pretty fucking lame attempt but I guess it would remove the guilt right? At least you tried right?

So, what I'm saying is this I guess. We all talk of honor and support and I know it's there, you who read this know it's there, but a shit ton of us in here are missing that train. Quitting is a matter of life or death, let's treat it like one everyday and not let this kind of shit go on without a true attempt at help.

Does this mean the failed quitter had no skin in the game? Absolutely not, and I am downright ashamed of the fact he fell off the way he did. If I am ashamed of it, I can only imagine how he feels. I will not, however, grant him any leeway. I don't care the circumstances of his failure, only the fact that he failed.

Here is what we need to understand. Life is fucking hard people. Shit will happen, losses will occur, jobs will be lost, family will fall ill, stress will be overcoming at times. It is how we react in those times though that truly define the person we are. This is where our honor, integrity, faith, and moral fiber come in to save us from ourselves. This is where building that system of support can carry us through. This is the reason I am still quit and typing this diatribe.

When you post roll, mean it. When you offer your contact info, mean it. When you accept someone's number, use it. I am as guarded as the next person and I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see. What you will see from me is a fight to the death if the nic bitch comes calling, bitch better hope she's got nukes because I will not surrender. I will call every fucking one of you to help me get through it and I expect nothing less from any of you.

I am quit and failure is never an option.

[Morgan1]

Day 78:

September 10th, a day I have been dwelling on for the better part of 7 weeks.  If you remember the last bit of news I had was regarding a potential biopsy of a cyst in my neck/throat region.  Well, the day finally arrived.  As I sit in the waiting room of the endocrine/diabetes management center I cannot help but look around at what a seemingly harmless thing as eating can do to crumble someone's life.  Now granted, diabetes is plenty more than the inability to control food consumption.  I am not that ignorant to make that reference.  However, I did see more people enter into diet management consultation area than I did anywhere else. 

Fast forward through the agonizing wait.  Into the room, up on the table, another ultrasound.  Only this one lights up your cysts in fancy colors.  I could give a shit what color they were so long as they weren't cancerous.  The doctor looks at, analyzes, measures, and pokes and prods at my neck and throat only to say that whatever was there 7 weeks ago has subsided and I am only left with small cysts near my thyroid gland and no sign of lymph nodes or cysts that need biopsied for analysis.  She said that if the pain in this area continues that we would need to do a CAT scan.  All the blood work done also came back normal.  She said she has never seen a change as dramatic as this in this short of a time frame from one ultrasound to another.  She had no real explanation for it.

I would like to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during this time.  These last 7 weeks have been exhausting to myself and to my wife I'm sure.  You see, we didn't talk about it much because with 4 little ones around, adult conversation time is generally at the end of a long day and this topic was quite heavy to go to bed on.  I imagine, we both just lifted it up to God and let him speak to us through His ways.  We also did not want to place any unnecessary worry on the kids until we knew for sure what was going on. 

I will tell you all this though, life is meant to be lived without fear and regret.  These last 7 weeks I have lived as though I knew when my last day was.  I have said things I otherwise would have refrained from saying.  I have volunteered for things I would have deferred upon.  I have become more involved in my church, my family, my friends, and my businesses.  I have taken the time to be home early to help my wife with her day.  I have told her how much I love her and what a great job she does day in and day out with our kids.  I have been more affectionate and complimentary to her.  I have kissed and hugged my kids more.  I have had the conversations we all remember having with our parents, the life lessons.  I have taken the time to just play with them.  I have taken them places and done things with them that I would have put off for another time before.  I was able to take my son to his first NFL game this past weekend.  I built gymnastic equipment for my girls.  I have been the man I have wanted to be for so long.  I have finally figured out that I can be that man now, not at a future time. 

I guess what I'm saying is that I had to have the shit scared out of me before I realized that life was not meant to be a "go through the motions" exercise.  Life is meant to be lived.  It is meant to be exhilarating and exhausting all at once, everyday if possible.  It is meant for afternoon naps with your spouse on a Sunday after Church and dinner.  It is meant for the grind of the work week and the chaos of raising a family.  It is meant for disappointments and opportunities, successes and failures, loves and hates.  It is meant for everything we encounter if we put ourselves into it. 

What life is not meant to be is regretful.  Don't go another day without doing something, anything, that you wouldn't normally do.  Be the man or woman you aspire to be a little bit more today than you did yesterday.  Hug your kids, kiss your wife/husband for no other reason than to just say I love you.  Be the person you hear inside screaming to get out.  The feeling of liberating those feelings is one you will never regret.  I can only thank God and all of you and those around me for all the prayer and support.

Peace

Wow Eric, you are my hero. What an inspiration and change you have been to me and if you look back over the short 70 + days....What a positive change.

This is a witness that quitting tobacco is when we start living and stop going through the motions of life.

I fought with my wife today. I came home and she asked me to run some errands, so I went and picked up dry cleaning, grocery store for milk. I said, "you have been home all day and I'm the one that has to run errands?"

Well I didn't even acknowledge that the house was clean, dinner on the table and laundry was done. She worked hard and I criticized.

Well I am going to do something I probably wouldn't have until I read your post. I am going to tell her I am sorry for not recognizing all she does do...

Thanks Eric. Went to the gym today too. I hurt but it is a good hurt!

What a post! Nice Eric. Like you, (and ^^^) I am trying to use quitting dipping as a springboard to an overall improvement in my quality of life. I smell what you're cooking bud. I want some. Congrats on the good news in regards to your health!!

[kana]

great post Eric.. glad everything came back neg.. This whole process is quite simple when you think about what's most important in life. It all starts with the man in the mirror.. proud to quit with you..