New Quitter

[luby]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I wrote on Friday about my cave but have been asked to be more specific. I want to respond to Sir DerekÂ’s questions so that it might help me and others, so here goes:

1. What happened? – I was out drinking (strike one) with a couple of friends who are non-dippers. I was not falling over but would have been over the legal limit. We went to a second bar and I saw another group of friends, several of which I have dipped with and knew they would have some. I walked up to them to say hi (strike two). I saw the tin on the table(strike three). Within about 5 seconds later I had thrown my quit away. It was quick but again, I think the groundwork had been laid the week earlier. Then, on Monday I was on the road for work. I had already ruined my cave and was pissed at myself. What do I do when I’m pissed off? Buy a tin of course. Then, despite everything I have written on here or read before, I am having this dip and still thinking to myself “I got this”. I’ll dip this time and put it away for a week and maybe have one then. Those guys at KTC are going to be so pissed anyway, so I’ll just do this on my own. Needless to say, that can was gone on Tuesday and I had purchased another one Wednesday. By Thursday that was nearly gone and I was disgusted with myself. On top of it all, I had developed a nice sore on my inside lip which as you guys know is always scary as shit. Bleeckerdogs had PM’d me earlier in the week and I slunk in to read the postings about me. It sucked to hear but it was all true. I made the decision to suck it up, take the whipping that I knew I was going to receive and have received, and posted my cave and day 1 when I got to work on Friday.

2. Why it happened? It seemed almost like a planned cave in the sense that I had been thinking about “just one” in the week leading up to it more and more. I really hadn’t accepted the “addict” part of the equation as much as I should have. I don’t know if any of you have seen the television show Intervention on AE. I watch it fairly regularly. I watch these drug and alcohol users fucking up their lives and families and then go through the intervention before going to some rehab. Then at the end of the show I have always watched with interest to see how long the person lasted in rehab before relapsing. Some would make it but most leave and relapse within a few weeks. And I would always laugh at that, and say how could they be so weak? They’re ruining their life, their family’s lives and their health, all just for a momentary high? What loser addicts they are. Before my cave, I failed to recognize and accept, I mean REALLY recognize and accept, that I am no better than them. I’m actually worse than most of them. Most of them could make it more than 24 days.

3. What am I going to do differently? With the realization mentioned above, each day from now on I am going to post my quit days and “I am an addict” afterwards. That way I will not forget or think that I am stronger than I am. I will In addition, a couple of you have PM’d your numbers and if I start to hear myself talking about “just one”, I’ll be sure to get in contact with you or get on here to chat. I’ll also lay off the sauce for a while as I also should have done before. It would be good for me anyway. Lastly, I now appreciate more that even though it is my quit, it isn’t just about me. My cave affected others in a way I had not anticipated, until afterwards. I then thought about how it would have felt to me if the shoe was on the other foot. Everyone here has a right to pissed at me as I would have been pissed as well.

Thank you to those of you who have PMÂ’d or posted messages supporting me. I also thank those who have posted less supportive things, as it makes me more eager to earn your respect back and certainly has a deterrent effect on me. I don't want to go through this again.

Dear cr4, you must have numbers when you're young in your quit...MUST!
I have 3 numbers that I have sworn to call BEFORE I can dip....Get your numbers, make your promise to yourself and them...Your word is good, right? Or are you gonna pretend to be a special butterfly Sir?
You gotta reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyy want to "be quit" to be quit!
Post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
Balls to the wall Mister or you may be the next one diagnosed with CANCER!
If you don't wanna be quit, then simply fuck off and have a nice life with the nic bitch while we outlive you by 10-30 years....smelling good, living good, saving $$, living in the REAL instead of the fake that nic brought to your brain.
question: How could you possibly forget DAY 1????? 'bang head'

It's easy to talk the talk.

Walk the walk man.

You've made my radar.

On wastepanel's radar.....out-fucking-standing!

CR4.....you are in for fun now....lets do this

Through pm's I have talked to cr4.... I have decided he is worth my time on his second chance and I will do what I can to help him in his quit. Not sure why but I am investing in this guy but i am, and if he wants it as bad as i now beleive he does we are gonna have a quitter. I am proud to quit with cr4 today.

[CleanFuel]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I wrote on Friday about my cave but have been asked to be more specific. I want to respond to Sir DerekÂ’s questions so that it might help me and others, so here goes:

1. What happened? – I was out drinking (strike one) with a couple of friends who are non-dippers. I was not falling over but would have been over the legal limit. We went to a second bar and I saw another group of friends, several of which I have dipped with and knew they would have some. I walked up to them to say hi (strike two). I saw the tin on the table(strike three). Within about 5 seconds later I had thrown my quit away. It was quick but again, I think the groundwork had been laid the week earlier. Then, on Monday I was on the road for work. I had already ruined my cave and was pissed at myself. What do I do when I’m pissed off? Buy a tin of course. Then, despite everything I have written on here or read before, I am having this dip and still thinking to myself “I got this”. I’ll dip this time and put it away for a week and maybe have one then. Those guys at KTC are going to be so pissed anyway, so I’ll just do this on my own. Needless to say, that can was gone on Tuesday and I had purchased another one Wednesday. By Thursday that was nearly gone and I was disgusted with myself. On top of it all, I had developed a nice sore on my inside lip which as you guys know is always scary as shit. Bleeckerdogs had PM’d me earlier in the week and I slunk in to read the postings about me. It sucked to hear but it was all true. I made the decision to suck it up, take the whipping that I knew I was going to receive and have received, and posted my cave and day 1 when I got to work on Friday.

2. Why it happened? It seemed almost like a planned cave in the sense that I had been thinking about “just one” in the week leading up to it more and more. I really hadn’t accepted the “addict” part of the equation as much as I should have. I don’t know if any of you have seen the television show Intervention on AE. I watch it fairly regularly. I watch these drug and alcohol users fucking up their lives and families and then go through the intervention before going to some rehab. Then at the end of the show I have always watched with interest to see how long the person lasted in rehab before relapsing. Some would make it but most leave and relapse within a few weeks. And I would always laugh at that, and say how could they be so weak? They’re ruining their life, their family’s lives and their health, all just for a momentary high? What loser addicts they are. Before my cave, I failed to recognize and accept, I mean REALLY recognize and accept, that I am no better than them. I’m actually worse than most of them. Most of them could make it more than 24 days.

3. What am I going to do differently? With the realization mentioned above, each day from now on I am going to post my quit days and “I am an addict” afterwards. That way I will not forget or think that I am stronger than I am. I will In addition, a couple of you have PM’d your numbers and if I start to hear myself talking about “just one”, I’ll be sure to get in contact with you or get on here to chat. I’ll also lay off the sauce for a while as I also should have done before. It would be good for me anyway. Lastly, I now appreciate more that even though it is my quit, it isn’t just about me. My cave affected others in a way I had not anticipated, until afterwards. I then thought about how it would have felt to me if the shoe was on the other foot. Everyone here has a right to pissed at me as I would have been pissed as well.

Thank you to those of you who have PMÂ’d or posted messages supporting me. I also thank those who have posted less supportive things, as it makes me more eager to earn your respect back and certainly has a deterrent effect on me. I don't want to go through this again.

Dear cr4, you must have numbers when you're young in your quit...MUST!
I have 3 numbers that I have sworn to call BEFORE I can dip....Get your numbers, make your promise to yourself and them...Your word is good, right? Or are you gonna pretend to be a special butterfly Sir?
You gotta reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyy want to "be quit" to be quit!
Post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
Balls to the wall Mister or you may be the next one diagnosed with CANCER!
If you don't wanna be quit, then simply fuck off and have a nice life with the nic bitch while we outlive you by 10-30 years....smelling good, living good, saving $$, living in the REAL instead of the fake that nic brought to your brain.
question: How could you possibly forget DAY 1????? 'bang head'

It's easy to talk the talk.

Walk the walk man.

You've made my radar.

On wastepanel's radar.....out-fucking-standing!

CR4.....you are in for fun now....lets do this

[wastepanel]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I wrote on Friday about my cave but have been asked to be more specific. I want to respond to Sir DerekÂ’s questions so that it might help me and others, so here goes:

1. What happened? – I was out drinking (strike one) with a couple of friends who are non-dippers. I was not falling over but would have been over the legal limit. We went to a second bar and I saw another group of friends, several of which I have dipped with and knew they would have some. I walked up to them to say hi (strike two). I saw the tin on the table(strike three). Within about 5 seconds later I had thrown my quit away. It was quick but again, I think the groundwork had been laid the week earlier. Then, on Monday I was on the road for work. I had already ruined my cave and was pissed at myself. What do I do when I’m pissed off? Buy a tin of course. Then, despite everything I have written on here or read before, I am having this dip and still thinking to myself “I got this”. I’ll dip this time and put it away for a week and maybe have one then. Those guys at KTC are going to be so pissed anyway, so I’ll just do this on my own. Needless to say, that can was gone on Tuesday and I had purchased another one Wednesday. By Thursday that was nearly gone and I was disgusted with myself. On top of it all, I had developed a nice sore on my inside lip which as you guys know is always scary as shit. Bleeckerdogs had PM’d me earlier in the week and I slunk in to read the postings about me. It sucked to hear but it was all true. I made the decision to suck it up, take the whipping that I knew I was going to receive and have received, and posted my cave and day 1 when I got to work on Friday.

2. Why it happened? It seemed almost like a planned cave in the sense that I had been thinking about “just one” in the week leading up to it more and more. I really hadn’t accepted the “addict” part of the equation as much as I should have. I don’t know if any of you have seen the television show Intervention on AE. I watch it fairly regularly. I watch these drug and alcohol users fucking up their lives and families and then go through the intervention before going to some rehab. Then at the end of the show I have always watched with interest to see how long the person lasted in rehab before relapsing. Some would make it but most leave and relapse within a few weeks. And I would always laugh at that, and say how could they be so weak? They’re ruining their life, their family’s lives and their health, all just for a momentary high? What loser addicts they are. Before my cave, I failed to recognize and accept, I mean REALLY recognize and accept, that I am no better than them. I’m actually worse than most of them. Most of them could make it more than 24 days.

3. What am I going to do differently? With the realization mentioned above, each day from now on I am going to post my quit days and “I am an addict” afterwards. That way I will not forget or think that I am stronger than I am. I will In addition, a couple of you have PM’d your numbers and if I start to hear myself talking about “just one”, I’ll be sure to get in contact with you or get on here to chat. I’ll also lay off the sauce for a while as I also should have done before. It would be good for me anyway. Lastly, I now appreciate more that even though it is my quit, it isn’t just about me. My cave affected others in a way I had not anticipated, until afterwards. I then thought about how it would have felt to me if the shoe was on the other foot. Everyone here has a right to pissed at me as I would have been pissed as well.

Thank you to those of you who have PMÂ’d or posted messages supporting me. I also thank those who have posted less supportive things, as it makes me more eager to earn your respect back and certainly has a deterrent effect on me. I don't want to go through this again.

Dear cr4, you must have numbers when you're young in your quit...MUST!
I have 3 numbers that I have sworn to call BEFORE I can dip....Get your numbers, make your promise to yourself and them...Your word is good, right? Or are you gonna pretend to be a special butterfly Sir?
You gotta reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyy want to "be quit" to be quit!
Post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
Balls to the wall Mister or you may be the next one diagnosed with CANCER!
If you don't wanna be quit, then simply fuck off and have a nice life with the nic bitch while we outlive you by 10-30 years....smelling good, living good, saving $$, living in the REAL instead of the fake that nic brought to your brain.
question: How could you possibly forget DAY 1????? 'bang head'

It's easy to talk the talk.

Walk the walk man.

You've made my radar.

[30isEnuff]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I wrote on Friday about my cave but have been asked to be more specific. I want to respond to Sir DerekÂ’s questions so that it might help me and others, so here goes:

1. What happened? – I was out drinking (strike one) with a couple of friends who are non-dippers. I was not falling over but would have been over the legal limit. We went to a second bar and I saw another group of friends, several of which I have dipped with and knew they would have some. I walked up to them to say hi (strike two). I saw the tin on the table(strike three). Within about 5 seconds later I had thrown my quit away. It was quick but again, I think the groundwork had been laid the week earlier. Then, on Monday I was on the road for work. I had already ruined my cave and was pissed at myself. What do I do when I’m pissed off? Buy a tin of course. Then, despite everything I have written on here or read before, I am having this dip and still thinking to myself “I got this”. I’ll dip this time and put it away for a week and maybe have one then. Those guys at KTC are going to be so pissed anyway, so I’ll just do this on my own. Needless to say, that can was gone on Tuesday and I had purchased another one Wednesday. By Thursday that was nearly gone and I was disgusted with myself. On top of it all, I had developed a nice sore on my inside lip which as you guys know is always scary as shit. Bleeckerdogs had PM’d me earlier in the week and I slunk in to read the postings about me. It sucked to hear but it was all true. I made the decision to suck it up, take the whipping that I knew I was going to receive and have received, and posted my cave and day 1 when I got to work on Friday.

2. Why it happened? It seemed almost like a planned cave in the sense that I had been thinking about “just one” in the week leading up to it more and more. I really hadn’t accepted the “addict” part of the equation as much as I should have. I don’t know if any of you have seen the television show Intervention on AE. I watch it fairly regularly. I watch these drug and alcohol users fucking up their lives and families and then go through the intervention before going to some rehab. Then at the end of the show I have always watched with interest to see how long the person lasted in rehab before relapsing. Some would make it but most leave and relapse within a few weeks. And I would always laugh at that, and say how could they be so weak? They’re ruining their life, their family’s lives and their health, all just for a momentary high? What loser addicts they are. Before my cave, I failed to recognize and accept, I mean REALLY recognize and accept, that I am no better than them. I’m actually worse than most of them. Most of them could make it more than 24 days.

3. What am I going to do differently? With the realization mentioned above, each day from now on I am going to post my quit days and “I am an addict” afterwards. That way I will not forget or think that I am stronger than I am. I will In addition, a couple of you have PM’d your numbers and if I start to hear myself talking about “just one”, I’ll be sure to get in contact with you or get on here to chat. I’ll also lay off the sauce for a while as I also should have done before. It would be good for me anyway. Lastly, I now appreciate more that even though it is my quit, it isn’t just about me. My cave affected others in a way I had not anticipated, until afterwards. I then thought about how it would have felt to me if the shoe was on the other foot. Everyone here has a right to pissed at me as I would have been pissed as well.

Thank you to those of you who have PMÂ’d or posted messages supporting me. I also thank those who have posted less supportive things, as it makes me more eager to earn your respect back and certainly has a deterrent effect on me. I don't want to go through this again.

Dear cr4, you must have numbers when you're young in your quit...MUST!
I have 3 numbers that I have sworn to call BEFORE I can dip....Get your numbers, make your promise to yourself and them...Your word is good, right? Or are you gonna pretend to be a special butterfly Sir?
You gotta reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyy want to "be quit" to be quit!
Post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
Balls to the wall Mister or you may be the next one diagnosed with CANCER!
If you don't wanna be quit, then simply fuck off and have a nice life with the nic bitch while we outlive you by 10-30 years....smelling good, living good, saving $$, living in the REAL instead of the fake that nic brought to your brain.
question: How could you possibly forget DAY 1????? 'bang head'

[cr4]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I wrote on Friday about my cave but have been asked to be more specific. I want to respond to Sir DerekÂ’s questions so that it might help me and others, so here goes:

1. What happened? – I was out drinking (strike one) with a couple of friends who are non-dippers. I was not falling over but would have been over the legal limit. We went to a second bar and I saw another group of friends, several of which I have dipped with and knew they would have some. I walked up to them to say hi (strike two). I saw the tin on the table(strike three). Within about 5 seconds later I had thrown my quit away. It was quick but again, I think the groundwork had been laid the week earlier. Then, on Monday I was on the road for work. I had already ruined my cave and was pissed at myself. What do I do when I’m pissed off? Buy a tin of course. Then, despite everything I have written on here or read before, I am having this dip and still thinking to myself “I got this”. I’ll dip this time and put it away for a week and maybe have one then. Those guys at KTC are going to be so pissed anyway, so I’ll just do this on my own. Needless to say, that can was gone on Tuesday and I had purchased another one Wednesday. By Thursday that was nearly gone and I was disgusted with myself. On top of it all, I had developed a nice sore on my inside lip which as you guys know is always scary as shit. Bleeckerdogs had PM’d me earlier in the week and I slunk in to read the postings about me. It sucked to hear but it was all true. I made the decision to suck it up, take the whipping that I knew I was going to receive and have received, and posted my cave and day 1 when I got to work on Friday.

2. Why it happened? It seemed almost like a planned cave in the sense that I had been thinking about “just one” in the week leading up to it more and more. I really hadn’t accepted the “addict” part of the equation as much as I should have. I don’t know if any of you have seen the television show Intervention on AE. I watch it fairly regularly. I watch these drug and alcohol users fucking up their lives and families and then go through the intervention before going to some rehab. Then at the end of the show I have always watched with interest to see how long the person lasted in rehab before relapsing. Some would make it but most leave and relapse within a few weeks. And I would always laugh at that, and say how could they be so weak? They’re ruining their life, their family’s lives and their health, all just for a momentary high? What loser addicts they are. Before my cave, I failed to recognize and accept, I mean REALLY recognize and accept, that I am no better than them. I’m actually worse than most of them. Most of them could make it more than 24 days.

3. What am I going to do differently? With the realization mentioned above, each day from now on I am going to post my quit days and “I am an addict” afterwards. That way I will not forget or think that I am stronger than I am. I will In addition, a couple of you have PM’d your numbers and if I start to hear myself talking about “just one”, I’ll be sure to get in contact with you or get on here to chat. I’ll also lay off the sauce for a while as I also should have done before. It would be good for me anyway. Lastly, I now appreciate more that even though it is my quit, it isn’t just about me. My cave affected others in a way I had not anticipated, until afterwards. I then thought about how it would have felt to me if the shoe was on the other foot. Everyone here has a right to pissed at me as I would have been pissed as well.

Thank you to those of you who have PMÂ’d or posted messages supporting me. I also thank those who have posted less supportive things, as it makes me more eager to earn your respect back and certainly has a deterrent effect on me. I don't want to go through this again.

[CleanFuel]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

Telling a bad ass quitter via text I hadn't spent much time on site lately and felt bad about it. Logged on late tonight and see this. I wasted my time on this pile when I could of helped a real quitter? Fuck. Any real quitters pm me, I don't spend as much time on site as I used to but I'll help any real quitter that wants it.

I just don't get it. The guy was quit barely a month yet he thought he had it kicked???? Does he not read the site? Does he not know that guys with commas do not have it kicked??? Hell he wasn't even halfway to the HOF.

Pretty weak to just say "fuck it" and throw everything away like that. No attempt to reach out, no text to anybody saying he was about to cave, did he have #'s? I'm sure he did but the Pussy chose not to use them. Instead he just flipped the bird at every person on this site, especially those like Luby who were trying to help him.

Theres a formula here that is proven to work. Follow it to a fucking T, or get the fuck out of here and quit wasting everyone's time.

Anything back from CR4?

He posted a day 2 and thats it. I pm'd him and crickets. He shit on this site and still has people reaching out.....
You can't quit for him

Disappointing

[luby]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

Telling a bad ass quitter via text I hadn't spent much time on site lately and felt bad about it. Logged on late tonight and see this. I wasted my time on this pile when I could of helped a real quitter? Fuck. Any real quitters pm me, I don't spend as much time on site as I used to but I'll help any real quitter that wants it.

I just don't get it. The guy was quit barely a month yet he thought he had it kicked???? Does he not read the site? Does he not know that guys with commas do not have it kicked??? Hell he wasn't even halfway to the HOF.

Pretty weak to just say "fuck it" and throw everything away like that. No attempt to reach out, no text to anybody saying he was about to cave, did he have #'s? I'm sure he did but the Pussy chose not to use them. Instead he just flipped the bird at every person on this site, especially those like Luby who were trying to help him.

Theres a formula here that is proven to work. Follow it to a fucking T, or get the fuck out of here and quit wasting everyone's time.

Anything back from CR4?

He posted a day 2 and thats it. I pm'd him and crickets. He shit on this site and still has people reaching out.....
You can't quit for him

[CleanFuel]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

Telling a bad ass quitter via text I hadn't spent much time on site lately and felt bad about it. Logged on late tonight and see this. I wasted my time on this pile when I could of helped a real quitter? Fuck. Any real quitters pm me, I don't spend as much time on site as I used to but I'll help any real quitter that wants it.

I just don't get it. The guy was quit barely a month yet he thought he had it kicked???? Does he not read the site? Does he not know that guys with commas do not have it kicked??? Hell he wasn't even halfway to the HOF.

Pretty weak to just say "fuck it" and throw everything away like that. No attempt to reach out, no text to anybody saying he was about to cave, did he have #'s? I'm sure he did but the Pussy chose not to use them. Instead he just flipped the bird at every person on this site, especially those like Luby who were trying to help him.

Theres a formula here that is proven to work. Follow it to a fucking T, or get the fuck out of here and quit wasting everyone's time.

Anything back from CR4?

[Diesel2112]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

Telling a bad ass quitter via text I hadn't spent much time on site lately and felt bad about it. Logged on late tonight and see this. I wasted my time on this pile when I could of helped a real quitter? Fuck. Any real quitters pm me, I don't spend as much time on site as I used to but I'll help any real quitter that wants it.

I just don't get it. The guy was quit barely a month yet he thought he had it kicked???? Does he not read the site? Does he not know that guys with commas do not have it kicked??? Hell he wasn't even halfway to the HOF.

Pretty weak to just say "fuck it" and throw everything away like that. No attempt to reach out, no text to anybody saying he was about to cave, did he have #'s? I'm sure he did but the Pussy chose not to use them. Instead he just flipped the bird at every person on this site, especially those like Luby who were trying to help him.

Theres a formula here that is proven to work. Follow it to a fucking T, or get the fuck out of here and quit wasting everyone's time.

[luby]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

Telling a bad ass quitter via text I hadn't spent much time on site lately and felt bad about it. Logged on late tonight and see this. I wasted my time on this pile when I could of helped a real quitter? Fuck. Any real quitters pm me, I don't spend as much time on site as I used to but I'll help any real quitter that wants it.

[CleanFuel]

Day 8. I found myself getting a little overconfident with my quit . . . until today. I have been rolling along pretty good these past 8 days, nothing major. I did overcome a crave this morning. I was going into work a little later than my wife. Usually would run to the c-store as soon as she left so I could grab a tin. The thought ran through my head but I didn't. No huge deal, I got into work and signed the roll.

Then this afternoon, my wife lets me know that she is not going to be home tonight until after 8pm. My heart instantly started racing. An opportunity. I could have several hours of ninja time. Frankly, it is tough to write right now thinking about it.

"Perhaps I can be a once per 8 days dipper?", I thought trying to justify it as I always have. Then, I pulled the Contract to Give Up out of my wallet and read it over a few times. I read some posts and looked at a few cancer pics. I realized that this is just going to happen over and over again, just as it has in the past. If I don't get a hold of this now, another 20 years of putting this shit in my mouth is going to fly by, if cancer doesn't get me first.

Anyway, I signed the roll today, so I will not dip today or tonight. This is very difficult, but I thank KTC very much and all of my fellow quitters. I'm much feeling better now.

I'm fucking crushed! I was reading this thread and literally copied the quote above because I was going to PM you and congratulate you on your balls and a quality quote- "this is just going to happen over and over again. I scroll up, and wham, you are sucking the nicotine dick again. FUCK! Really? Did you not read the advice? No alcohol for the first few weeks? I'm fucking pissed!

59 days for me. Fuck you and your weak excuses. If you're coming back here you better answer up and pay it back twice over. FUCK!

DipWeez....spoken liken a true fucking champion who got betrayed by a brother...

Congrats to you on your day 8 .... 1 week is a fucking lifetime away from the Bitch....nice work

[dipweasel]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

I'm fucking crushed! I was reading this thread and literally copied the quote above because I was going to PM you and congratulate you on your balls and a quality quote- "this is just going to happen over and over again. I scroll up, and wham, you are sucking the nicotine dick again. FUCK! Really? Did you not read the advice? No alcohol for the first few weeks? I'm fucking pissed!

59 days for me. Fuck you and your weak excuses. If you're coming back here you better answer up and pay it back twice over. FUCK!

[dipweasel]

I'm so angry i cant even post right. See above - and I still didn't get it right. See the last part of the post - starting with I'm fucking crushed.......

[CleanFuel]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.

CR4....Epic Fail....

do everything all the guys have said and answer the questions

Then do this...

Visualize yourself dead cuz you could not give up the bitch....see your wife with another guy....making love to him cuz you could not give up the bitch....see that guy with your kids, cuz you won't be there, cuz you are dead and fucking pussy that caved....

you get me?

[T-Cell]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done.  As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday.  I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine.  Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver.  But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group.  I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return. 

Alcohol was involved and maybe didn’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing.  I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine.  Then, I didn’t post again this past Saturday.  I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked.  Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me.  I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me.  If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week.  I do not want that.

Anyway, I don’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all.  I expect more of what has been posted below.  If it happens again, you’ll never hear from me.  But it won’t.  I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

I like your honesty here cr4. Answer the 3 questions, it is for your own self reflection as well as for other quitters. The big one for me is #3. Did you have a quit plan before? If not, perhaps you should make one this time. You seem to now understand what being an addict is, keep that with you. The second you lose it, you've cracked the door back open.