New Quitter

[SirDerek]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done. As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday. I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine. Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver. But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group. I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return.

Alcohol was involved and maybe didnÂ’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine. Then, I didnÂ’t post again this past Saturday. I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked. Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me. I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me. If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week. I do not want that.

Anyway, I donÂ’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all. I expect more of what has been posted below. If it happens again, youÂ’ll never hear from me. But it wonÂ’t. I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

CR -

this is the time for you, It is a one way (back into the clutches of the nic bitch), or the other which looks like you have decided to do by posting up another DAY 1.

Let what you have done turn into a lesson for you. Look deep inside. You have part of it in your paragraph but for you own person, go ahead and list out those precious 3 questions that are to be answered. This is for you to learn and face, and also to use as you move forward.

So:

1 - What happened - go ahead and be specific as you have said

2 - Why it happened - again here list the specifics as you have

3 - What are you going to do differently to make sure this does not happen again - this is the one that takes the most thought, look around this site as there are many lessons that you can apply to this.

Be strong and yell if you need anything.

I will be watching

[cr4]

I know a site like this won’t work for me or anyone here if there is no accountability for failure, so I have to own what I have done. As bleekerdogs said, I caved on Saturday night and then basically said “fuck it” and purchased a tin Monday. I purchased another one and then was back into my same old shitty routine. Yes, cr4 does equal a waste of time, selfish asshole and pussy caver. But I have dumped what was left and will be posting day 1 today with the June group. I apologize to bleekerdogs, Luby and others who had spent their time and energy on me, only for me to give them a big “fuck you” in return.

Alcohol was involved and maybe didnÂ’t help, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I feel that groundwork for the cave had probably started the week or before when I failed to post for a weekend and did fine. Then, I didnÂ’t post again this past Saturday. I was overconfident and spent less time reading or posting on the site, stupidly thinking that just a few weeks away from the shit meant I had it kicked. Needless to say, I am an idiot in addition to all the other things that have been posted about me. I realize that I, like all of you, am a nicotine addict and no amount of time spent away from it, whether it be days, weeks or years, is going to cure me. If I have even one sniff, I will be right back to my lying, disgusting self just like I was this past week. I do not want that.

Anyway, I donÂ’t expect forgiveness or a welcome back parade from you all. I expect more of what has been posted below. If it happens again, youÂ’ll never hear from me. But it wonÂ’t. I am more determined now, will be more active, read more here, post each and every day and will not use.

[YogiBear257]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post.  He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time.  GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers.  It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good.  I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together.  I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow.  Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

THIS.

First step to kicking the pity party of abuse and nicdiction is day of being quit. Another step is paying back those who suffered because of you. Treat the lass well!

My buddies will miss me at the bar and I honestly will too. But I'll miss it because I won't be blacked out and forgetting it as I was.

You have to want it.

Like, reeeeeeeeeeeeallllllllllllly want it.

Otherwise, it's pointless. Thanks for wasting our time.

??? huh???

I'm not talking about dipping there. I'm talking about going out. But I don't miss it enough to want to go back.

cr4=Wasting our time

If he's back to "chewing full time", it means that any support thrown out to him was for nothing. It was pointless.

Yea, I meant to EDIT my post. The way the quote and response system works here is a little different than what I am use to.


He quit quitting. Like a double negative....and it does not make a positive...

[wastepanel]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post.  He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time.  GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers.  It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good.  I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together.  I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow.  Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

THIS.

First step to kicking the pity party of abuse and nicdiction is day of being quit. Another step is paying back those who suffered because of you. Treat the lass well!

My buddies will miss me at the bar and I honestly will too. But I'll miss it because I won't be blacked out and forgetting it as I was.

You have to want it.

Like, reeeeeeeeeeeeallllllllllllly want it.

Otherwise, it's pointless. Thanks for wasting our time.

??? huh???

I'm not talking about dipping there. I'm talking about going out. But I don't miss it enough to want to go back.

cr4=Wasting our time

If he's back to "chewing full time", it means that any support thrown out to him was for nothing. It was pointless.

[YogiBear257]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post.  He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time.  GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers.  It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good.  I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together.  I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow.  Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

THIS.

First step to kicking the pity party of abuse and nicdiction is day of being quit. Another step is paying back those who suffered because of you. Treat the lass well!

My buddies will miss me at the bar and I honestly will too. But I'll miss it because I won't be blacked out and forgetting it as I was.

You have to want it.

Like, reeeeeeeeeeeeallllllllllllly want it.

Otherwise, it's pointless. Thanks for wasting our time.

??? huh???

I'm not talking about dipping there. I'm talking about going out. But I don't miss it enough to want to go back.

[wastepanel]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post.  He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time.  GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers.  It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good.  I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together.  I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow.  Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

THIS.

First step to kicking the pity party of abuse and nicdiction is day of being quit. Another step is paying back those who suffered because of you. Treat the lass well!

My buddies will miss me at the bar and I honestly will too. But I'll miss it because I won't be blacked out and forgetting it as I was.

You have to want it.

Like, reeeeeeeeeeeeallllllllllllly want it.

Otherwise, it's pointless. Thanks for wasting our time.

[YogiBear257]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post.  He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time.  GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers.  It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good.  I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together.  I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow.  Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

THIS.

First step to kicking the pity party of abuse and nicdiction is day of being quit. Another step is paying back those who suffered because of you. Treat the lass well!

My buddies will miss me at the bar and I honestly will too. But I'll miss it because I won't be blacked out and forgetting it as I was.

[30isEnuff]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post. He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time. GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers. It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good. I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together. I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow. Will You? 'Finger'

hey bleeckerdogs, Sad to lose one to the nic bitch...BUT the fact is he wanted to drink and dip. He violated the first law of addiction, "he put the poison in his mouth".
Fuck him and all the pussy cavers! There is no try, we either do or die!
I want to live just like you bleeckerdogs. So, I wake, I promise not to dip today, I keep my word and I wake and REPEAT!
It is such a simple concept, yet it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, bar none!
If I can do this, then any other addict can too!
Cheers brother. Quit daily, quit early and Never Again For Any Reason!!!! 'bang head'

[SummersEve]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post. He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time. GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers. It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good. I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together. I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow. Will You? 'Finger'

CR4 - if you come back and read this, here is what you need to do - you need to stay the fuck away from those guys in drinking situations for a few months unless they pledge to quit and follow through. Maybe you need to turn into a hermit for a few months. Save some money up, buy your wife something nice with the booze money and chew money you have saved (or alternatively pay down some debt or build up some savings). She deserves it for putting up with your shit. Stop being a selfish asshole.

[bleeckerdogs]

Emailed Chad CR4 after seeing him miss a few days post. He replied that this past weekend he got to drinking with friends and is now back into chewing full time. GUYs if we want to make this quit real we need to work through the triggers. It really pisses me off because CR4 walked the walk and was doing dam good. I want everyone on here to win, one day at a time. Together. I promise to you and myself today and will do so again tomorrow. Will You? 'Finger'

[cr4]

One last thing about my difficult time yesterday. I don't know if there are any Clutch fans on KTC but when I got home last night, I put turned on some tunes on shuffle. The first track to come up was "Binge and Purge" by Clutch. F-ing awesome song to quit to and the lyrics fit eerily well.

[cr4]

It's amazing how we think - we can justify dipping any imaginable way. Even as I read your post I saw the opportunities for a ninja dip in my own life. But you said something that I hadn't considered - that this urge is going to keep happening, and if I don't get it under control now it will control me later.

Thanks!

Ha, thank you! Your long drive post was one of the ones I read this afternoon. I thought shit, if this quitter was able to make it through a 15 hour drive, I can make it a few hours.

[cr4]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

Luby,

Thanks for the support. I did read through your intro and HOF. Both are very inspiring to me and It looks like I have a good roadmap for what I need to do. It is not a good time for that conversation now but it will happen. Thanks again.

[luby]

Wow, I haven't had as much time on this site lately as I used too, I haven't "needed" it as much as I used to either which is a great thing. I still post roll every day and I post support in my "boys" groups. But cr4 and these responses made me want to weight in with a little quitter love.
You guys are awesome, you are doing it today and that is what matters.... If i knew anything about computers I'd attach my intro thread and HOF speech because this was me 573 days ago. I lied to my wife for 11 years, I got caught once! She honestly had no idea I was an addict, I was that good at the ninja shit. I was also a dishonest sack of monkey shit. Every time I put a dip in it tasted like shame. I am an honest guy, I am a confident guy but my ass was owned by skoal mint and I hated myself for it. I lied to the most important person in my life every day because I was such a loser I couldn't break free. Well I did and now you have too. I will tell you this you have to tell her at some point I won't pretend to know your circumstances and tell you have to do it now but you have to do it. It is your last boat to burn. The night I told my wife I was 30 days or so in and it was the hardest conversation I ever had but I knew if I could do that I had broken the chains of my slavery once and for all, and I could experience the true intoxication of freedom.
I quit with you ex-ninja dippers today, and I am damn proud to do so, all damn day.

[GlockTherapy]

It's amazing how we think - we can justify dipping any imaginable way. Even as I read your post I saw the opportunities for a ninja dip in my own life. But you said something that I hadn't considered - that this urge is going to keep happening, and if I don't get it under control now it will control me later.

Thanks!