newbie day2

[Rkymtnman]

Walkin' tall ...
Made roll call ...
Appreciative of the feedback here  in my inbox!

Nice bro. Always be mindful of the stark difference between that which you CAN control and that which you can NOT control. You must learn to DEAL with things that are out of your control and as Skoal Monster said, as your head clears, you will learn how to deal with tough situations withOUT dip. Trust me - you have no need for that shit anymore and it will make absolutely nothing better or easier to deal with. It will add guilt and shame and that is not what you need at the moment.

Gain strength from the battles that are in your direct control (last night - you fucking WON my friend). When my world was falling apart around me, I actually got much strength from the fact that I was a quitter and remained a quitter no matter what life threw at me. The simple act of posting roll first thing EVERY morning then beating the daily struggles made me feel like such a winner when the shit around me was leading me to falsely think otherwise.

Keep it up brother. You got this.

[ChoosingIntegrity]

Walkin' tall ...
Made roll call ...
Appreciative of the feedback here  in my inbox!

[Skoal Monster]

I bailed out and went to the bars to watch the Giants/Eagles game. Mainly, it was an excuse. I needed to get out of the house because I had dug myself a nice fat fucking hole of anger/frustration and really needed to run away for a while.
Didn't do much good. Had a couple glasses of wine with Family Dinner, then out at the bar had a couple more beers and a Makers up. Everything went down well, but... it was a challenge not to stop for a can on the way home tonight.
No... I haven't added myself to the cave roster.
I don't feel too good right now, though.
I sense my authenticity coming back, and I know there are a lot of people that wouldn't know me for my autheniticity because I've been living a lie for 29 years, and I feel like I'm on shakey ground.

I have lost sooooo fucking much in the last 12 months. I've gained freedom at the same time, but I am really feeling the pain of the loss right now. I'm taking responsibility, but it's not comfortable.
Abandonment is the worst thing I've ever gone through. It compares to this choice of stabbing the Nic Bitch, but making the choice to run away versus watching someone you love run away from are two completely different things.

Fuckin-A........
I feel like the biggest pussy I've ever known....
And, like the strongest man I've ever imagined myself to be...
All in the same breath...

There is pain in the loss of those I love...
The ultimate punishment would be accepting ALL responsibility, but...
I wonder this evening how it all would've been different had I been true to myself from the beginning...

Once upon a time I had the potential of a family... Now, I walk without them... sometimes I feel alone, and even that's a lie

All is well, though, I must admit, tonight was precarious in regards to desire...

I will, however, make it to roll call in the morning.
It's not ALL about me, that much I know...
But,

quitting dip is about more than just quittin dip. Hang tough the smoke clears and you'll figure it all out. In the meantime go easy on the booze, it's a quit killer.

[Dr. Bruce Banner]

feel like the biggest pussy and yet the strongest man...I gottcha!

the pussy feeling is from being scared about throwing your lover/ friend away, what will you do without her.....tell her to shut up!
The manly part is your intestinal fortitude your guts...It takes real guts to quit ...and quitting isn't for pussies.! you got this man hang in there I'll be looking for you in rollcall tomorrow...... Don't worry about tonight. you've already given me your word that you quit. be aman of your word!

[ChoosingIntegrity]

I bailed out and went to the bars to watch the Giants/Eagles game. Mainly, it was an excuse. I needed to get out of the house because I had dug myself a nice fat fucking hole of anger/frustration and really needed to run away for a while.
Didn't do much good. Had a couple glasses of wine with Family Dinner, then out at the bar had a couple more beers and a Makers up. Everything went down well, but... it was a challenge not to stop for a can on the way home tonight.
No... I haven't added myself to the cave roster.
I don't feel too good right now, though.
I sense my authenticity coming back, and I know there are a lot of people that wouldn't know me for my autheniticity because I've been living a lie for 29 years, and I feel like I'm on shakey ground.

I have lost sooooo fucking much in the last 12 months. I've gained freedom at the same time, but I am really feeling the pain of the loss right now. I'm taking responsibility, but it's not comfortable.
Abandonment is the worst thing I've ever gone through. It compares to this choice of stabbing the Nic Bitch, but making the choice to run away versus watching someone you love run away from are two completely different things.

Fuckin-A........
I feel like the biggest pussy I've ever known....
And, like the strongest man I've ever imagined myself to be...
All in the same breath...

There is pain in the loss of those I love...
The ultimate punishment would be accepting ALL responsibility, but...
I wonder this evening how it all would've been different had I been true to myself from the beginning...

Once upon a time I had the potential of a family... Now, I walk without them... sometimes I feel alone, and even that's a lie

All is well, though, I must admit, tonight was precarious in regards to desire...

I will, however, make it to roll call in the morning.
It's not ALL about me, that much I know...
But,

[Skoal Monster]

Went to a periodontist for a check up a few weeks ago. I got really good feedback. However, he did recommend that I go get a biopsy on the leukoplakia area.

Here's the question, though --

I don't have insurance, so... in the event that there is a legitamate problem will I never get insurance again because of a "pre-existing condition." I'm tempted to wait it out, keep up the quit, and wait until I've established insurance again before I go for a biopsy.

Any/all feedback is welcome in regards to this.

I'm not an insurance agent so I can't answer your question about pre-existing conditions!!! However, I do have a little God given common sense that tells me the longer you wait to get this checked out the more danger there is that it could develop into something serious! :( My advise, get it checked out and worry about the insurance issue later! Is your life really worth waiting a couple of months????

um have you read the Tom Kern story? Dude had a spot the size of a pencil eraser that he tought was just a small infection from where he bit his cheek. He was dead inside six months. If you wait you may seriously regret it. Cancer doesn't give a shit about your insurance

[Mikey]

Get the biopsy done now. No reason to let it go and worry about it. If the biopsy comes back negative, then it is not a pre-existing condition.

If it is positive for cancer, there are doctors that will work with you to pay the bill in installments, because cancer does not sit around and wait until you have the money.

[ScooterScum]

Went to a periodontist for a check up a few weeks ago. I got really good feedback. However, he did recommend that I go get a biopsy on the leukoplakia area.

Here's the question, though --

I don't have insurance, so... in the event that there is a legitamate problem will I never get insurance again because of a "pre-existing condition." I'm tempted to wait it out, keep up the quit, and wait until I've established insurance again before I go for a biopsy.

Any/all feedback is welcome in regards to this.

I'm not an insurance agent so I can't answer your question about pre-existing conditions!!! However, I do have a little God given common sense that tells me the longer you wait to get this checked out the more danger there is that it could develop into something serious! :( My advise, get it checked out and worry about the insurance issue later! Is your life really worth waiting a couple of months????

[ChoosingIntegrity]

Went to a periodontist for a check up a few weeks ago. I got really good feedback. However, he did recommend that I go get a biopsy on the leukoplakia area.

Here's the question, though --

I don't have insurance, so... in the event that there is a legitamate problem will I never get insurance again because of a "pre-existing condition." I'm tempted to wait it out, keep up the quit, and wait until I've established insurance again before I go for a biopsy.

Any/all feedback is welcome in regards to this.

[Dr. Bruce Banner]

Yesterday was Day 1. Learning the lay of the land here I somehow overlooked this Introductions area, and went straight to posting on the March2010 group instead.

I realized yesterday that I think it was 7th not 9th grade when I first started "takin' a right one" while building tree forts in the woods of southern Virginia. "Takin' a right one" was our hip lingo for "fat ass dip" and seeing how much Skoal, Cope, Happy Days, etc we could jam into our lower lips in one fowl swoop. Dudes... we were fucking cool!!!

I think back then in Virginia we were paying about $1 - $1.50/can. A couple weeks back I spent $7.85 somewhere outside Grand Central in NYC.

I've had about 30 zip codes in my lifetime. Chew has been perhaps the single constant companion through a helluvalot of change along the way.

Fast forward to yesterday... I'm 41 years old suddenly looking into the rearview of a 29 year habit. The ratio of life years to habit years, though daunting, isn't as scary a thought as the potential for damage I've caused along the way

Yesterday, I backhanded The Nic Bitch. She's bound to rear her head. The thing I've learned about Bitches (note: I said Bitches, not Women) is that they've got to be in control... ALWAYS! Take away their ability to control, especially you, and you've got a frenzied maniacal warlord-like demon on your hands.

So be it ... I backhanded The Nic Bitch yesterday ...

Game On!

well done.....I'm gonna try and call my wife that one of these days and see if it's the same reaction.."You frenzied maniacal warlord-like demon"

Point understood!! again well done...and yes I remember the ole Happydays uck!

[ChoosingIntegrity]

Yesterday was Day 1. Learning the lay of the land here I somehow overlooked this Introductions area, and went straight to posting on the March2010 group instead.

I realized yesterday that I think it was 7th not 9th grade when I first started "takin' a right one" while building tree forts in the woods of southern Virginia. "Takin' a right one" was our hip lingo for "fat ass dip" and seeing how much Skoal, Cope, Happy Days, etc we could jam into our lower lips in one fowl swoop. Dudes... we were fucking cool!!!

I think back then in Virginia we were paying about $1 - $1.50/can. A couple weeks back I spent $7.85 somewhere outside Grand Central in NYC.

I've had about 30 zip codes in my lifetime. Chew has been perhaps the single constant companion through a helluvalot of change along the way.

Fast forward to yesterday... I'm 41 years old suddenly looking into the rearview of a 29 year habit. The ratio of life years to habit years, though daunting, isn't as scary a thought as the potential for damage I've caused along the way

Yesterday, I backhanded The Nic Bitch. She's bound to rear her head. The thing I've learned about Bitches (note: I said Bitches, not Women) is that they've got to be in control... ALWAYS! Take away their ability to control, especially you, and you've got a frenzied maniacal warlord-like demon on your hands.

So be it ... I backhanded The Nic Bitch yesterday ...

Game On!