Hello all. I began my quit Tuesday night on the way home from work. I thought to myself..."why is it that I can tell my wife all my secrets, my passions, my worries, my desires....but you won't tell her this one other piece of your life. I don't know if I'm the only one out there who's done the same, but I have used the junk for 7 years. My wife knew about me doing it a month after we started dating. I told her I would quit and did so for 9 months. Went hunting, started dipping again. I have since been married (almost 2 years). She doesn't know I do this.
What kind of pathetic POS's are we to try to hide something from our spouses? Something so major! Something that will kill us! I guess for me it's cause I know my wife told me (when we were dating) that if I ever started doing it again she would break up with me. Now we're married and I know she won't leave me over it anymore, but it kills me to think of how it will make her feel when she knows I am an addict.
I had a year long stint in law enforcement. I don't feel any better than the crackheads and dopefiends that I busted up. Hell, I even stole cans from my college roomate at AM. Pathetic.
This is my "declaration of dependence". I've confessed my wrongdoings to a bunch of strangers, and tonight I confess my lies to my wife. I'm definitely doing this for myself. The last time I tried, I did ok for 9 months, but that was because it was instigated by a threat from my girlfriend.
Good people, keep me accountable, and I will do my best to do the same for you. And to the vets, I've read through your HOF speeches, and some of the admin posts, and I want to thank you in advance because this is the support I need.
